Countless greasy hairs on the ground, a pile of sweaty clothes on the sofa, and a few sour bean-smelling socks scattered around the bed; Twisted pimple striped sheets, plaid quilts that hadn't been folded in days, tear-wet, dry cotton pillowcases; The rustle of tires against the ground can be heard through the cracks of the windows, the ticking of leaking faucets echoes in the kitchen, and the clinking of clothes and braces in the autumn breeze on the balcony...... In the faint light of the night, a pair of eyes sparkled.

She is at the physical center of the world, but she finds herself isolated from the world. She wanders in the dark universe, observing what is happening on the earth every day, and her eyes are stiff but she never finds the picture she wants.

Tired? Doesn't seem to be tired, can't sleep, or doesn't want to sleep; Aren't you tired? If you are not tired, why do you keep curling up in bed and have a dizzy mind, and you don't even have the strength to turn over and lie down. She seemed to be in a trance after drinking spirits, and after self-examination, several of her senses were abnormally awake, she could hear her own breathing or snoring, she could feel the heart in her left chest pounding, and she could see the muscles in her abdomen sinking along with her breathing.

**In a state of immortality and immortality, it is like an endless, cold and regularly moving universe. Sometimes she naively fantasizes that when a person is in a state of detachment, it may be out of a life need, or out of an organism necessity. Because of some necessity, ** and the will must carry out such instructions in order for the self to be preserved.

So, when will this state of waking up like a dream come to an end? The body will tell her, the brain will tell her. Whether not to be sad or happy, not to be anxious and not to be impatient is the magic way to deal with all the transcendent states, she asked herself, to no avail. It is only clear that when this problem exists, man is naturally in a situation of extreme joy or extreme anxiety.

Why is she anxious, why is she sad and happy?

Dry eyes, chapped lips, and slightly swollen cheeks. She didn't want to do anything but lie in bed, from day to night, from night to day. Someone must have pressed the pause button on her life, a strange experience, she was reluctant to return to normal. Is there anyone in the world who is as obsessed with pain as she is, or who seeks the pleasure of dissecting it?

Since extreme happiness makes people happy, does extreme pain lead to greater and more lasting happiness? The heart smiled. The self in a state of detachment should be incapable of judgment, because detachment is a subconscious state that is detached from law, civilization, morality, and secular common sense.

Everything that can be seen around is static, including one's own spirit. Sometimes she longs for a sound that will wake her up, but that longing is not fulfilled. In the end, she found that the only thing that could awaken her was the will, but unfortunately when she was in extreme negative emotions, the will fell asleep on the twisted bed and the wet pillow.

Sometimes I forget that she is still breathing, as if I often forget to charge her phone. Intellectually, she doesn't want to charge her phone at all, because when the phone runs out, it's also a time when she can rest. And when the phone was fully charged, it happened to be when she just woke up. She kept looking at her phone, and kept looking, and kept looking, until it ran out of battery again. She didn't want to tie her precious life to a broken machine, even if someone had bound her to her phone—to death. She wants to break this naked connection, but her will is sleeping.

Great emptiness.

She wanted to follow her old habit of opening the window at three o'clock in the morning to count the buildings opposite, and then looking for a brightly lit house in the building, and then quietly watching how the family spent the long night. She needs to learn, to learn to live a normal, regular, correct life. Is there a distinction between normal and abnormal, regular and fake, right and wrong? Her answer is no, but it's someone else's, the majority's.

There are always times when life loses its rules - the rules she has worked so hard to build to build a better future. She doesn't want to take out the trash, she doesn't want to cook or wash dishes; She didn't want to open or close the door, she didn't want to talk or open her mouth; She didn't want to turn the lights on or turn them off, she didn't want to open or close the windows; She no longer sleeps on the east and west or south and north of the ground when she lies on the bed, and sometimes she sleeps directly on the ground; She no longer saves money, no longer spends money, and no longer earns money; She didn't want to eat, she didn't want her bones to bear weight, she didn't want her heart to work...... Every aspect of life is on hold, and even going to the toilet is waiting, waiting for the body to have enough power to push the soulless machine to the bathroom.

She had no strength, she couldn't wake herself, so she continued to sleep.

When her stomach gurgled and she knew she was hungry. Her hunger is no longer controlled by the time of twelve or six o'clock, but by the needs of **. She likes to be driven from within, because from that point on, she seems to be in control of herself. When the stomach growls, the brain tells her that you are hungry, and when the ** gathers strength into action, the brain will tell her that it is time to wake up. She had been waiting, as if waiting for a volcano to erupt.

The poor wild cat howled outside the window, tearing its heart, and in the rustling rain, it was like a baby's cry. Suddenly, big tears flowed for a long time. She was fantasizing that the cat was the reincarnation of her own child's soul, which was psychedelic, but it hit her unconscious **. She pricked up her ears to listen—poor kittens or poor little children. Finally, with sadness in her heart, she opened her eyes again in the darkness of the night.

When I opened my phone, it was three o'clock in the morning. I don't know if she just fell asleep, the woman turned off her phone, turned over the pillow, and continued to sleep. This time, she looked at the white ceiling and looked down at herself talking to herself, admiring herself as she was obsessively performing a melodrama. And the other side of the conversation is the person he desires.

She seemed to enjoy the clarity of her body and the silence of her soul peculiar to dawn, as this condition is rare in a regular and correct life. At last it was four o'clock in the morning, and as if relieved after praying, she finally stopped all the comical and amorous tragedy with an even breath.

Because of the funny and ridiculous painter, because of the funny and ridiculous self, a night of grief and sorrow, Bao Xiaotang slept until 11 o'clock at noon on Saturday and woke up.

"Grandpa, is the old cow big or the owl bigger?" The little man who just woke up had a particularly crisp voice when he opened his voice.

"Of course it's a cow! The cow is so big, the owl is so big! Grandpa's cow is bigger, bigger than an elephant, bigger than a house! You're going to see your grandfather's cow, and grandpa lets you sleep on the cow's back, and it's warm! "At eight o'clock in the morning, the old horse was holding a cup of hot tea and bragging about the bed.

"Huh?" The villain didn't understand.

"Grandpa's cattle work every day to pull goods, if it is not as big as a house, it can't work, and it can't move the crops! But! The old cow listened to his grandfather's words, and he told him to face east, but he didn't dare to go west. ”

"Grandpa, do you have a cow at home?" The child was so confused that he couldn't fall into the trap.

"Oops, hey, my grandson monkey! What are you listening to after talking about the boss for a while? Cows, pigs, dogs, roosters, finches, ants, spiders, beetles...... Grandpa's house didn't have anything! When you grow up, go to your grandfather's house for a walk, and you want to see what your grandfather is looking for you! ”

"Is a finch a bird?"

"The finch must be a bird! There is a paulownia tree in the yard of my grandfather's house, dozens of meters high, so thick! The trees are full of birds, hundreds of species, and the spring is always good! You have to come and give you the whole ladder to go up, and then build you a house and a tree, so that you can live with the finches, and you can count the paulownia flowers every day! Oh yes, there are no white clouds in the sky at Grandpa's house, it's dogtail grass! Dogtail grass grows in the sky, the east wind comes and drifts westward, and the west wind comes and drifts eastward—beautiful! At night, the sky is densely packed with stars, old bright and old! In the courtyard of my grandfather's house, there is a big moon every day - so big! Minghuang, you're going to come to grandpa's house, grandpa will pull down the moon and stars for you, and put them next to you to show you! Success? ”

"Done." The little man was lying on the bed, holding his hands and feet, as if he could reach out and grab a bright moon.

"There is a warbler valley in front of my grandfather's house, and there are more birds in it! When the bird flies over, it is black and black, like a star at night. If you want to go to Yingge Valley, grandpa will catch a rabbit for you, and then pick flowers for you. If you go to sleep on the field, the Lord will sweep down all the stars in the sky and the Milky Way for you—and make your bed as a mattress. ”

"Okay!" Yangyang was coaxed into a daze.

"When your mother was a child, she also picked stars, who thought that your mother was greedy and ate the stars, and then her eyes became stars in the sky, twinkling and twinking, do you see that your mother's eyes look like stars now?"

"Like, like." The villain laughed and cheered.

"There are lambs and rabbits in the valley of the warbler, the rabbit is as big as the sheep, it runs faster than the ox, it has a good temper, and it likes to play with the little baby the most."

"Grandpa, can you catch another rabbit for me?"

"Eh! Grandpa's rabbit is not easy to catch, the rabbit only lives in the grandpa's ravine, grandpa's ravine is so big - bigger than Shenzhen, how can you catch the rabbit and live? Where does it go to graze? When it rains, and there are no caves in the city, where does it live? You can't do what you like to hurt Bunny, can you? The old horse moved his cigarette holder and looked down at him.

"Yes!" The little man nodded earnestly.

"You must go to Grandpa's house in the future, because the sun in Grandpa's house is much bigger and bigger than in the city! Grandpa's yard is more fun than the playground, grandpa's hen especially likes children, and will give toys to children, if you let it lay eggs, it will lay eggs for you to play, and if you let it pick sour dates for you, it will pick sour dates for you. If you want to fly to the sky, you have to say nice things to the hen and beg her, and then she will let you sit on her back and take you to the sky! Fly, fly, fly where you want to go, it will take you wherever you want! If you want to play with Zhou Zhou, it can also take off on its back, and if you want to play with Fang Qitao, it can also fly with Fang Qitao! I will fly you to kindergarten in the morning, fly you to grandpa's house in the afternoon, and then fly to the edge of the sky and back again in the evening. If you like clouds on the horizon, it can pick one for you to play with......"

The doors and windows of the house were open, and Gui Ying, who was sleeping, heard the old man pinch Yangyang's throat to say this, and unconsciously laughed a few tears when she listened. Sometimes, adults need fairy tales more than children.

After drinking wine for so many years, Gui Ying feels that getting drunk and having a cold bring about much discomfort to the body, but people choose to go crazy after drinking and fall asleep after catching a cold. In fact, it is not necessary to sleep after drinking, but people are too desperate to have a magic switch so that they can instantly become acceptable madmen, and then gossip, sing, dance, cry and laugh in the smell of alcohol.

Gui Ying leaned on the pillow, touching the back of her fat and wrinkled hands, and couldn't remember for a moment how she had gone from being so rippling to being so big now. When I was four or five years old, I was accompanied by my mother-in-law (grandmother), like a living "Sou Shen Ji", telling her various folk tales handed down from ancient times every day. Gui Ying once regretted that she did not have such a role as a mother in the growth of Tsai Tsai and Yangyang, but now she thinks it is good to listen to the old man pleasing Yangyang as if he was a different person.

Life is nothing, and the full days need to be produced by themselves, it is undeniable that in the face of endless time, Gui Ying is often perfunctory about her life, perfunctory care of her children, and perfunctory thinking about herself. Life is too far away from death, causing her to cherish it very much, always envy or watch the generous days of others, but often ignore, compromise or prevaricate about her own small family.

Zhiyuan left his home in one breath and was able to go out to live for more than 20 days, Ma Guiying was actually envious. Only when people live in harmony with themselves can they live in harmony with others. Ma Guiying asked herself, in addition to making money and wanting to make money, does she have any other profound thoughts or pursuits about life? It's a pity that she is forty years old as a woman, and in addition to earning money to raise children, she really can't find a second thing that can make her very interested. As an ordinary person, she is a screw for the development of a country, a soldier for corporate profits, and the cornerstone of a family. Is she the instrument of her life or the purpose of her life?

Seeing that Yangyang was completely awake and had a cold after sleeping for three days, Lao Ma put on a coat for Yangyang, and then went out to buy breakfast by himself. After buying breakfast, I saw someone shouting at the door of the vegetable market to promote apples, and Lao Ma glanced at the Fuping Red Fuji in Shaanxi - red, watery, and very big, and bought eight for the two children to eat in one go. After buying the fruit, seeing that there were many people coming in and out of the door, Lao Ma looked at the main road of the vegetable market, and the good guys were all full of people. I have been in Shenzhen for several months, and Lao Ma has hardly visited the vegetable market, first, he can't cook, and second, he doesn't understand the nature of food. But this time, the old horse couldn't hold back and stepped into the noisy vegetable market like a temple fair.

The vegetable market is facing the busiest time of the day in wholesale and retail, the largest transaction volume, the old horse hugged the breakfast bought for the baby and slowly moved in the crowd, and the old fear of people would squeeze the rippling buns. After a few months, the fruits of the south are almost ripe, what mango, dragon fruit, lychee, longan, pineapple, papaya, grapefruit, loquat, citrus ...... There is also purslane in this season, and the old horse stopped in front of a stall and looked at it for a long time, guessing that it was planted in a greenhouse. The wild purslane in the hometown is sweet and juicy in July and August is the most delicious, this year to Shenzhen has not eaten a mouthful, the old horse swallowed saliva, asked the price of purslane, weighed the amount of a catty, and spent a lot of money to buy a catty impulsively.

Bypassing the two stalls, I saw the toon again, because it was too expensive, and the old man Nunu walked away. When he came out, he came across a roasted sweet potato, and Lao Ma bought a piece for Wa'er and Gui Ying. At a fruit stall in the northeast corner, Lao Ma caught a glimpse of many fruits that the family did not often buy, and saw that the sign reads - star fruit, Saka fruit, avocado, bergamot, coconut...... After visiting the rare fruits, I saw durian again when I left the entrance of the vegetable market. Zhiyangyang loves to eat this, the old horse gritted his teeth and bought more than half a catty, spent fifty-three yuan, shook his head and slapped his lips on the way home, and felt so distressed that he seemed to cut two taels of meat on his body.

I ate very happily at this breakfast, eating five or six things little by little, and after eating, I was in good spirits and ran and jumped in the house. The old horse saw that she was as alive as a lamb running on the slope, and his heart was satisfied. The rippling cold medicine is over, without the restraint of sleeping pills, the child is crazy in the living room all morning, singing, dancing and shouting, and the old horse is a little angry at the same time. As if he couldn't do without this doll at all, all his joy revolved around her; Second, he seems to have completely adapted to the city, because he found that he seemed to be able to eat steamed buns or not to plant land in the past two months.

"I won't do what you bought!" After breakfast, Gui Ying leaned on the back of her chair and pointed to the wild vegetables on the table.

"Let's learn! How delicious purslane is, it's good for the baby's stomach, you search for people on the Internet to do it. This thing is expensive, so I finally bought some, so it's not a pity! The old horse enthusiastically persuaded.

"Oops......" Gui Ying hesitated as she scratched her unkempt hair. I wanted to order a meal at noon to fool around, but I didn't expect that the old man not only bought vegetables, but also bought dishes with technical thresholds.

"Your sisters-in-law will all do, won't you? Your mother, your mother-in-law, you won't? Lazy day by day! Give your aunt a call and ask what is the difficulty? Seeing that Gui Ying was holding the mobile phone for a long time and not responding, Lao Ma turned his face unhappy, after all, the bag of purslane cost him thirty-three yuan.

"Do it, do it! I didn't say or do it! Do it at noon! You let me rest for a while! I'll look it up! Gui Ying reluctantly agreed, and when she returned to the room, the bones in her body disappeared as soon as she got into bed.

"Rest! Sleep until 9 o'clock and eat until 10 o'clock! Too lazy to lose the ancestors every day! Old Ma complained to Guiying's back.

Gui Ying got on the bed with her front feet, just turned on her mobile phone and followed silently, and got into her arms from the bed, the mother and daughter were intimate for a while, and the old horse was cleaning the table and the ground outside. At half past eleven, a cup of strong coffee was served, Gui Ying rolled up her sleeves and worked in the kitchen, and the meal was finally ready after two hours. A plate of steamed purslane, the vegetables are too wet, there is too much flour, and the wet dough is the size of a walnut after it comes out of the pot; A plate of green pepper eggs, scrambled too oily, with a layer of yellow under the plate; A plate of minced meat and tofu, with less oil, is pasted in the pot. There were only three dishes, because Gui Ying was too anxious to steam the rice, and in the end, the three of them pinched the sweet bread and ate the salty dishes, which was considered to have solved the lunch meal.

Originally, the two families were scheduled to go to the book city to play this Saturday, but after lunch, Gui Ying thought about giving up, first, the weather was not good, gloomy and rainy, and secondly, it was inconvenient to toss when she had a cold at the beginning. It's not expected to go out to play, so in order not to spoil the fun, Gui Ying found a restaurant between the two addresses and made an appointment to eat dinner together.

At four o'clock, Yang Yang came to play in her mother's bed again after the lunch break, and the mother and daughter played the game Gui Yingjue was bored and stopped playing, remembering that there was always an unsolvable knot between her and Zhiyuan recently, and the woman was stunned for a while.

"Hey! Yang'er, you see, our family will run away from home one by one - my brother runs away to my classmates, my grandfather runs away to the high-speed rail station, my father runs away to find a hotel, and Aunt Bao can still come to live in our house when she runs away, why do you say that my mother has nowhere to run away? Hey...... "The woman complains in her sorrows.

"A little bit of a turtle immortal! A little bit of the turtle fairy ......" Yangyang played with the colorful cotton ball in his hand, while chanting words in his mouth, shaking his head from time to time and pulling the sound.

"What did you say, good boy?" Gui Ying didn't hear it clearly, and was very curious.

"A little bit of a turtle immortal!" Yangyang raised his head and shouted.

"What is this?" Gui Ying sat up and asked again.

"Grandpa said yours, a little bit of a turtle immortal!" rippling like a parrot.

"What does 'a little bit of a turtle immortal' mean...... Yes! Hahahaha...... Aha...... Hahahaha......"

Ma Guiying burst into laughter, laughing so much that her body moved back and her eyes were round, and the old horse frowned on the rocking chair with a smile, and the laughter was so loud that the neighbors could hear it. It turned out that the old horse thought that Gui Ying's cooking was too unpalatable, and wasted the good dishes he bought with a lot of money, and after lunch, he casually said a few times "lose the ancestors every day" (slang in the Shaanxi dialect), Yang Yang was obedient and listened to more and remembered, who wanted to learn a fork, so that Gui Ying was amused by her daughter's strange hometown dialect, and her voice was like a female monster.

Ordinary life, mixed with worldly sorrow, mixed with absurd humor.

In the evening, the two families had dinner, and before leaving, Lao Ma told Tsai to call his father, but Zhiyuan didn't want to quarrel with Gui Ying anymore and refused. At six o'clock, Guiying took the three of them to the restaurant to find a seat first, Hyosung arrived with Xiaotang and Xuecheng, and Zhong Neng rode a shared bicycle after getting off work. Hyosung led the child to the restaurant, and she left before the food was served, and she went home a while ago to take too long of leave, and now it is not good to delay her work anymore.

"I'm going to Hong Kong with my classmates tomorrow." After everyone sat down, Tsai Zai said to his mother in the air.

"And what about your class tomorrow?" Gui Ying asked.

"I asked my classmates at the training center to keep my notes for me."

"Are they safe?" Lao Ma asked Gui Ying.

"They know Hong Kong better than they know Shenzhen, and several of his classmates go to Hong Kong two or three times a month – to go shopping, to climb mountains, to swim, to take art classes...... Today's parents are very good at playing, and some of them send their second child directly to Hong Kong to go to kindergarten! Gui Ying responded.

"Oh! It's so close. The old horse was surprised, and looked back at Zhong Neng with an unattainable look.

"Oops! If you really go, bring something to your aunt! I'll send you the sign and the address of that store! Bao Xiaotang stretched out his big hand and shouted on the table.

"Remember to buy some calcium tablets and fish oil for my sister!" Gui Ying stretched out her index finger and nodded in the air.

"Uh-huh, I'm using my phone to remember now! If any of you still want to bring something, tell me quickly, and I'll arrange tomorrow's journey in the evening!" Tsai raised his hand and shouted at everyone.

"How are the Celestials now?" Zhong Neng asked the old horse.

"Huh? How did you know I was going to see him! The old horse was amazed.

"You posted it yourself in the group! Forgot? I see that you are playing very slippery on WeChat now, and you will also forward operas and articles. Zhong Neng smiled at the old horse.

"Hey...... The babies teach it every day! Now I use WeChat to call my second child, and I also use WeChat to give change to Zaizai. The old horse poked his phone and said.

"What change?" Gui Ying is alert.

"Nothing! My grandfather wants to learn how to transfer money, and I will help him operate it, and it is my grandfather who will send money to my second uncle! Tsai Tsai quickly pleaded.

The old horse picked up the teacup and blew the tea with a smile, and glanced at the oily young man when he drank the tea.

"How's your job going? Last time, I heard you say that there is a street to be excavated and repaved, and the ground is full of ......dirt that cannot be swept away," the old horse looked at Zhong Neng after drinking tea.

"I've been standing for too long every day, my knees are now old and weak, sometimes I still tremble, and I'm so busy that my head is dizzy! Tired but not tired, but not very free, you have to hang a locator on your body, not comfortable. If you go too early in the morning, you can't send the baby. After Zhong Neng finished speaking, his eyes fell on Xuecheng next to him.

"Sigh, we're old, we can't take the baby with us. Anyway, now you have no one to take your baby. The old horse pointed to Xuecheng and said.

Zhong Neng listened to this and lowered his head to drink tea. There are so many things that are so easy to say.

"Here's for you!" Tsai Tsai took out a box from the bag and handed it to Xuecheng.

"What?" After learning to be overjoyed, he took the box and the plastic bag, and put his head into the plastic bag to see.

"Lego cars, I'm not playing anymore, I'll give you away! This one is very difficult to spell, I used to spell it for days! If you're done, send me a picture and let me see it! After speaking, Tsai touched his learned hair.

"Hmm." The child took the toy and never got out of the plastic bag in both hands.

"You don't have a good face!" After Gui Ying finished ordering, she grabbed a handful of melon seeds from the store, and said to Xiaotang while snorting.

"I haven't slept well, I've been too busy lately." Xiaotang didn't want to mention yesterday's ridiculous things.

"I usually sleep better when I'm busy at work! You...... Is it still live on weekends? What are you going to do? Hey Tang'er, you don't know what kind of rice I made today-steamed purslane! The boy bought it, it's too unpalatable! I can't even eat it myself! If you put too much flour, it will be like mud, and it will become a dead dough. Oh my God, it doesn't taste good when you take it out and take a look, let alone swallow it! ”

After Gui Ying finished saying this, she suddenly remembered Yangyang's children's singing and chanting "losing the ancestors every day", and suddenly lost control of her emotions, slapping the table and laughing. After telling everyone about this matter ahaha, wow wow, and intermittently, everyone at the table looked up and laughed.

After laughing, several groups of people chatted with each other, and Xiaotang got back to business: "The key to steaming vegetables is that after the vegetables are cut, they should be air-dried, and they should be dipped in a little flour. Tomorrow at noon, I'm going to make meat buns for Xuecheng, and I want to marinate some meat, will you come? ”

"Forget it! I was overdrawn from the show, and now I'm so tired that I can't lift up every day. You can make a mask and make a bun...... Forget it! Gui Ying waved her hand and laughed, and after laughing, she stepped forward and asked Xiaotang: "Eh! Our client company has a sorority, would you like to go? The other party is a listed company, and there are many single men, and the salary is generally not low. ”

"Hmm...... I'm not interested! After Xiaotang finished speaking, he put his hand on Gui Ying's right wrist, and Gui Ying stopped mentioning this stubble when he saw this.

After the dishes were served, the seven of them ate lively. In modern society, people do not believe in God and do not enter churches, after urbanization, people do not talk about ancestors and do not climb relationships, and the trend of self-pursuit makes people lose interest in the major good news and annual meeting ceremonies of the organization in which they are located. It's a pity that I can only have a dinner party.

At half past eight in the evening, Dong Huifang suddenly remembered her granddaughter Yangyang, called her son Zhiyuan, and the mother and son chatted casually for a while. When Zhiyuan symbolically asked about Uncle Zhang's body, Dong Huifang gushed endlessly, chattering about the details of Lao Zhangtou's recent body one by one, talking about how funny and naughty his grandson Doudou has been recently, and then mentioning Zhang Mingyuan's work and Chen Qingye's life is another big part. Listening to his mother paint the life plan of the Zhang family in front of him, He Zhiyuan was emotionally uneven. He often reminded himself that his mother's happiness in her later years was higher than his need for his mother, but whenever he heard his mother complain or show off, praise or count the Zhang family, he was worried in his heart. Yangyang almost forgot what her grandmother looked like, but her grandmother took care of Doudou's life in an orderly and careful manner.

After chatting about the Zhang family's daily routine as usual, He Zhiyuan didn't want to tell his mother that he had not been looking for a job recently, let alone mentioning that he was living outside alone, but only said that Yangyang had a high fever in the past few days, saying that he had been busy recently, and at the same time reminded his mother that he wanted to chat with Yangyang and call his wife Guiying directly, so he sent the phone away.

Distance, maybe not to distance the blood, but it will alienate the feelings. Although Zhiyuan and his mother are far from this, since his mother remarried, his mother's heart is not all with him. As a child, you always want to take away all the love and attention of your parents, even if you are an adult, even if you can use reason to eliminate loss or jealousy.

When Bao Xiaoxing came home from the store in the evening, Xuecheng had already fallen asleep, and the girl stopped online classes to chat with her about the interesting things at dinner tonight, and when she talked about the steamed purslane made by Gui Ying, Bao Xiaoxing couldn't help but be stunned. After chatting and washing up and falling asleep, Bao Xiaoxing remembered what he had seen and heard in his hometown some time ago.

Before returning to her hometown, raising children was her fate, and Bao Xiaoxing thought that the word "good mother" could perfectly define her life. After returning from her hometown after mourning, Hyosung changes because she discovers a new version of herself. This self does not conflict with the present self of being a good mother, and the new self is more powerful, more exemplary to the children than the only attribute of dedication behind the scenes.

The idea of going home to contract land is not only because the air in the hometown is good and the time is slow, but also in terms of economy, career development, and planning for the second half of life. Bao Xiaoxing has never been an irrational person, but recently she has been tormented by this "landlord dream" that is getting more and more round and full, and she almost loses sleep every night. If he hadn't lived to this age, if he hadn't lived to this predicament, Bao Xiaoxing might never have realized that he was also an ambitious person. Working in a clothing store and a Malatang shop is just a transition, and no one will build their career on someone else's store business. Debts, Mei Mei's four years of college, and the life of supporting the elderly and children oppressed her day by day, and the desperate situation urged people to make changes, but she couldn't find the fuse for change.

But on the other hand, Bao Xiaoxing seems to be over-planned, over-calculated, and over-conceived. If the land in Baojiayuan is not enough for her to plant, the land in other villages can also be, even if the land is five miles away from her home. She likes to walk through the fields before driving a skater or riding a motorcycle to work in the fields—freely walking through the Loess Plateau, like a fairy of flowers descending to inspect her great garden, like the Emperor of Heaven looking down on the fireworks under his jurisdiction. From spring to summer, from autumn to winter, orchards, dirt roads, old yards, villages, pigsties, old trees by the roadside, ripples of the Luo River...... Bao Xiaoxing is glad that the paradise of his dreams is his hometown.

The countryside is not just an encyclopedia of biology, it is also a perfect school for enlightenment. In that heaven-sent land, it first used the reincarnation of spring, summer, autumn and winter and the labor of pulling rakes and plows to correct people, and then used the gifts of mountain vegetables and wild herbs, kudzu scarves and cotton clothes to enrich people, and then used the etiquette of weddings and funerals and the ethics of fathers and sons to edify people, and then used the natural laws of birth, old age, sickness and death to sow people, and finally used the inheritance of children and grandchildren to repay and continue people.

Over the years, she has become more and more distant from her hometown, so far away that she has lost contact, but the power that her hometown has given her by chance is as strong as when she left home. At this moment, Baojiayuan should be cold and cold, the sky is closed, there must be no wind and rain on the alley in front of the door, cattle and sheep curl up in the circle, chickens and dogs are too lazy to slip the street, if there is no green smoke in the sky above the village, I am afraid that people passing by still think that the village is empty, or suspect that the wall is a fairyland in the mountains.

The days of the villagers are around the winter moon, but the word tranquility is not enough. People seldom come out to move, and their movement is confined to their own yards or neighbors, and broken (small) dolls gather around the stove or hide on hot kangs. When the sun is warm at noon, the villagers come out with bowls to keep warm, eat, and chat. Most of the time the alleyway is quiet, so quiet that you can hear snow falling, branches breaking, leaves being swept up and falling by the wind, and the sound of trains passing by the platform seven kilometers away.

The night in Baojiayuan is mysterious and quiet. The night sky is covered with shining stars, and under the stars are layers of tree shadows, and under the shadows of a certain tree, she and her sister Tang'er used to hide. There is an absolute tranquility in the dark night of the homeland, a tranquility that never occurs in the city. It is only on winter nights that the soul of a stranger is willing to lie dormant in his hometown forever. Regarding his hometown, the calmness and stability of his childhood collection are unforgettable, even if he is away for half of his life and does not return in this life.

The recent autumn rain in the south has been continuous, I don't know what the hometown of the north looks like tonight, what the wind does this month have?

Water is a gift from heaven, it cools people, it makes people sober. In the south, the water is flooded, and the wet is heavy into miasma, and in the hometown, water and rain are so scarce and precious. A spring rain is a joy, a summer rain is cool, an autumn rain is peaceful, and no one in the radius does not love rain. I still remember that one year in the spring, the young Bao Xiaoxing and his mother went to water the ground at night, and the water in the canal at the head of the field flowed into their wheat field. Time has long since erased the remnants of her mother's face in her mind, but the corners of her smiling mouth have been carved in the time of a woman's ignorance.

When I was a child, I loved to watch the summer rain. The torrential rain poured down from the sky, on the tiled houses, on the brick floors, on the dirt roads, and then the water of the whole village flowed mightily to the lower south, the rainwater on the roofs and leaves of the trees flowed into the courtyards; The water in the courtyard and in the laneway flows outside the village; Outside the village, the streams in all directions converge in one place, flowing south layer by layer, surging and rumbling along the cracks in the ground of the ravine on the wall.

** When she was herding sheep, she caught up with the heavy rain, and she once hid under the tree on the cliff and looked down at the heavy rain for a long time. As the water flowed down from the high steps, it was like a waterfall and a huge stream soon formed at the bottom of the valley, and the water flow several meters wide circled and swam like a long silver-yellow dragon on the mountainside. Hyosung squatted on the cliff, seeing the dragon's tail from the dragon's head, and he didn't care about his whole body soaking wet. Part of the rain seeped into the ground to irrigate the crops, part of it went into the ponds of nearby villages and seeped into the ground, and some of it merged into the rapids in front of me. The dragon floats the water, the water carries the dragon, the dragon leads the water, the water sends the dragon, descends from the sky, winds all the way, rushes down from the high wall, goes to the Yellow Trunk Canal first, the main canal flows into the Luo River, the Luo River flows into the Yellow River, the Yellow River flows into the sea, and there is the weather of the dragon entering the sea.

Tonight, it's raining outside the window.

Tonight, it's raining in my hometown. 166 Reading Network