On weekends, Bao Xiaotang often sleeps at her sister's house, first, to help her sister take care of Xuecheng, second, to be motivated to cook in the live broadcast, and third, to accompany her sister to help her sister, she feels happy and valuable. At eleven o'clock in the evening, she stopped her online class, took a shower and was about to go to bed, seeing that her sister had not returned for a long time, Xiaotang called and knew that something had happened to her school.

According to her sister's instructions, she brought a thick quilt for Xuecheng to sleep, and brought a thick coat and documents, medical records, water cups, chargers, and tablets for her sister, and took a taxi to the emergency room of the hospital overnight. At one o'clock in the morning, Xiaotang went to the silent hospital to find someone with a big bag and a small bag, and they were speechless after meeting. The sisters laid out the quilt for the child and gently placed Xuecheng on the hospital chair to sleep. Xiaotang went to the hot water room to get some hot water, and Hyosung, who had a stomachache, drank a few pills and stretched his numb legs and feet slightly, and then the two sisters sat together wrapped in thick clothes.

After chatting about Xuecheng's illness, Hyosung didn't say a word, and the sisters had nothing to say for a long time. After a long time, Xiaotang felt unfair, and opened his mouth to blame himself: "Blame me." Today...... Actually, I didn't want to go to a party with my colleagues, and if I didn't go, I wouldn't have gone there. ”

"Don't talk about it."

Hyosung grabbed the girl's wrist and leaned on her shoulder, sobbing in the darkness and sobbing rapidly. I've been in Shenzhen with my sister for so many years, and I've never seen her cry so embarrassed. Xiaotang didn't dare to say more, and hugged her sister's shoulder and burst into tears. When something like this happens, the saddest thing is undoubtedly his mother, Xiaotang really wants to be a man - a tall and strong man, but fortunately, he can't use his brain to make a fist when he encounters an accident.

After Hyosung finished crying, her stomach hurt again, leaning on the chair left and right, the colic was unbearable, Xiaotang took another cup of boiling water and used the cup as a thermos to warm her sister's stomach, seeing that it didn't work, she made her sister twist and half lie on the seat, she rubbed her stomach, as if she was cold when she was a child, and her sister rubbed her belly. In the second half of the night, it was even colder, Xiaotang talked badly, and finally persuaded her sister to close her eyes and sleep for a while.

This night, the old man Zhong Neng was also uncomfortable, he couldn't sleep for a long time, and he woke up after sleeping. He was reflecting on whether his silence had connived at all this today. But looking back on the past, he also beat Zhong Li like this, and Zhong Li's grandfather also beat himself like this, why did he go to Xuecheng to have a problem here. The old man also blamed himself for neglecting the child for two hundred yuan tonight, and if he was at home this night, maybe Xuecheng would not have been protected by him.

Zhong Neng is worried about Xuecheng's illness on the one hand, and his son on the other. Ren is how old Zhong Li is, he is his baby, his pride, and his first bond. Zhong Li was the first college student in Zhongjiawan, the first person in Zhongjiawan to buy a house in a first-tier city, and the most promising person in the village for half a century. However, in the past few years, everything has not been smooth, how can he pick up the dignity he fell in the pit since he was a child? The old man has been sweating for his son all these years. It is easy for people to go up, it is easier to go down, but the difficult thing is to have the heart to go up again from below after several ups and downs.

In the salty and shallow tears, Zhong Neng thought of Zhong Li when he was a child, so sensible and cute, so smart and clever. At that time, most of the rural children were confused, and Zhong Li actually said that he would become an engineer in the future at a young age; At his grandfather's 70-year-old birthday banquet, Zhong Li knew how to toast his grandfather and uncle at the age of eight; When other babies didn't have a concept of going to school, he took the third place in the exam and bowed his head and said that he didn't do well; Once he really didn't do well in the exam, Zhong Neng punished him for herding sheep every day during the summer vacation and cutting a basket of grass for the old cow, who would have thought that this baby would not fall for forty days a day, and the grass house was full of grass for an unprecedented time; In the two years when his mother-in-law (Zhong Li's grandmother) was dying, Zhong Li, who had just been ten years old, served diligently and considerately, and the people in the village did not give him a thumbs up when they saw him, praising him as a dutiful son......

Recalling the glory of his son's youth, the old father burst into tears. Zhong Li is good, filial and sensible by nature, but it is the failures of these years that have frustrated him. Who is laughing and walking through a desperate situation? Who doesn't subconsciously tuck their sleeves when they are penniless? Who is not seriously ill, full of misery, unwilling to look in the mirror and unwilling to see people? Who hasn't failed to drink wine in the dark and curse the sky and wipe away tears? Life is unfortunate, and it is natural to have a bad face; It's natural to be in a bad mood. Human nature is black and white, no one is still pure and flawless in old age, but the flaws of the years are more valuable to be good.

Zhong Neng believes that his son is good-natured, and he believes that Zhong Li will definitely survive this festival and will definitely make a comeback. I dare to hope that the grandson will be able to tolerate his father's confusion in the future, and the Bodhisattva will bless him to grow up, become a family, and be able to understand his father's absurdity and decadence at this time; Pray that Mei Mei and her mother will not give up Zhong Li in the past.

On this night, the old man either recalled his son's good in tears, or prayed and repented in tears. He confesses that he once beat Chung Li too hard, so that the violence continued to Xuecheng; He repented that he shouldn't have been too demanding of Zhong Li before, which led to Zhong Li walking too fast and falling into a big fight over the years; He repented that he should not attach his own vanity and hope to his childhood son, so as to mislead Jong-ri's life; He repented that in that poor, ignorant and vain place of the countryside he had not preserved the goodness of a child's nature, but had prematurely led him to the vanity fair of adults...... He repented of his son's selfishness and ambition today, he hoped that his later years of life could make up for the debt he had owed to his son, he cried and begged all the gods to bless Li'er Wa tonight, he folded his hands eleven times and hoped that he would come back well tomorrow morning.

"My son is good and good, he is just confused" - the old man declared to heaven in his dreams, over and over again.

Flashing stone cities, vast domes, uneven floor tiles, mottled bicycles, silent millions of cars, peaceful supermarkets, bright construction sites, noisy bridges and caves, neon rivers of wastewater, brand-new shiny high-speed rail tracks, stray cats with big bellies......

Sigh. How many sighs do you have to sigh to untie the stagnation in your chest?

He is not a sinful person.

Zhong Li believes that he is not a sinful person, but how did life come to this point?

If, this time, the son is killed, then, bury him, he will be buried with him. Even if there is extrajudicial mercy, such a filthy life is meaningless. A lifetime of confession is nothing more than a joke piled up. All the confessions that come out are just excuses for beautifying oneself.

If this time he cripples his son, then he will spend his whole life healing him and caring for him. Anyway, there is no destination in his life, but taking care of his son can support him to live, just like the old man (referring to his father Zhong Neng). In life, you must always find a goal that is higher than yourself, so as to support your humble self to detach yourself and move forward with hope.

It doesn't matter if God doesn't have a disability this time, and Hakseung or Hyosung just ignore him or part ways after that. Life is nothing more than birth, old age, sickness and death, joys and sorrows, grievances and hatreds, joys and sorrows. The most bitter thing about living is resentment and parting, anyway, he has become a walking corpse, and he suffers both bitter and sweet.

The noise of the bar, the impatient shadows, the waiting wild dogs, the glare street lamps around the corner, the dreams of people under the overpass, the passion burning on the tungsten filament, the insomnia in the sound of the air conditioner, the stones on the insoles, the white flowers blooming at midnight, the dead rats that no longer move, the rusty water overflowing from the stone sculptures...... The road ahead is dark, and I don't know where I am. Zhong Li used ten kilometers of night to induce sobriety, and after thinking about ten kilometers, he was still muddy and unknown.

He still couldn't figure out why he couldn't stand his son playing in the bathroom - avoiding him or being afraid of him? He couldn't figure out why he always hit people when he lost control - because he was beaten and kicked like this since he was a child? Alcohol always anesthetizes the body, not the will and mind. He was sober, always sober, but sober out of control. He understands the logic of everything, and in the face of reality he is still out of control.

He doesn't remember when he started beating his son? He didn't know how many times he had beaten the child? He always thinks it's okay and always thinks it's a fluke. He freed himself, he didn't beat himself the worst, when he was a child, he came home late and was beaten by his father and rolled all over the ground; The next-door neighbor's child was beaten for mowing the grass and cutting a few times, and the fifth-grade cousin who accidentally broke a two-dollar pen was beaten by his uncle and spent the night outside.

Who blows the flute in the ear? Who plays the drums overhead? Who rolls up his sleeves on the earth and causes a hurricane?

How many stars are there in the sky? How many majestic mountains are there on the ground? Why isn't there an unobstructed road in the well-organized buildings?

Thousand-foot stone cliffs, why are they blocking my way? Why did you pull me into hell? For whom is the excitement and silence of heaven prepared tonight?

Guilt infects his whole body, staining him black as a ghost. What turned on the switch on the appearance of the demon in his heart - the scruple of losing Hyosung? Self-esteem from social isolation? Anger at being alienated by your children? The shame of being supported by my father? Unemployed for years of failure? Low self-esteem that can't start over? The conceit of being looked down upon by your neighbors? A life ruined by arrogance? Brain anesthetized by alcohol? Weakness chased by age? Unwilling to be crushed by poverty again? Offended by the imminent breakup of a happy family? The sense of conquest that comes from being feared by his son? Confused emotions after being strangled by social networks? Anxiety about a hopeless future? Repressed into a violent nature?

Who dragged him into the Yellow Springs? Who pulls him to watch the sunrise? Who wants to pass with him? Who wants to listen? Who rejoices in the rapid heartbeat? Who causes the heart-wrenching pain? Why did the cold body fall half to death and half still gasp? Why did one of the mud-stained feet break and the other turn into stones and plunge into the yellow spring? The darkness ahead is boundless, why should this broken foot move forward?

Looking up to the sky and sighing, Zhong Li never thought that he would become an abuser, but the script of life went in a direction he didn't want step by step.

In the past few years, Zhong Li didn't know that his son was afraid of him? Of course I do. Whenever their father and son are together, Xuecheng always stays in the farthest corner from him; Whenever he looked up to find his studies, his son always stared at him with a pair of small eyes; Whenever he got up and moved, Xuecheng would not habitually shake it.

Why did he get out of control? The angry son always disappears from under his nose silently? Anger oneself made his son to him like a sheep to a wolf? Angry that he was stupid enough to use violence to pull his son in front of him? Angry at himself after several aggressive coercions, he finally threw a fist at his son?

What a failure! The son would rather sit on the cold floor in the corner, hide in the dark and old toilet upstairs, and never sit on the sofa or chair next to him. The abdomen is hot, and the chest is hard. A father is violently forcing his son to get close to him – it's ridiculous.

When I get older, my knees make a noise every time they bend. Finally, on a roadside bench, he sat down. In the past few years, Zhongli has had a bad life, and people only see the messy and barren south of the mountain, but they can't see the dark and damp north of the mountain. Every time he hits a child, he only feels more pain and guilt. He didn't get any comfort or pleasure from the violence, but he impulsively reached out his fist. Fighting has become his only expression in these ridiculous years.

As always, he began to smoke, one by one. As he began to count cigarette butts one by one, clothes by one, and beams of light from the headlights as he began to count them at this time yesterday, he seemed to be calm only when he counted.

In the days of a backwater, counting can split anxiety and relieve depression, this little trick starts with counting the number of times he brushes his teeth. Later, he began to count the cockroaches he pressed like him, the stripes on his sweater, the petals on the quilt, and the number of times the washing machine turned...... In the midst of counting, he gradually became calm and calm.

Waking up and sleeping has become Zhongli's nemesis - getting up during the day and falling asleep in the early hours of the morning is like pins and needles for him. Fortunately, counting helped him conquer it, counting and counting to fall asleep, and counting to open his eyes and see the light. After a long time, he always used to use the time of a cigarette to count how many Chinese characters or numbers were on the cigarette box when he got up in the afternoon; I used to lie in bed at three or four o'clock in the morning, and there were a few honks and a few green lights on the road.

How did life get to this point?

The vulgarity of the ficus, the utilitarianism in the bookstore, the wrinkled years of the elephant's body, the oiliness in the long brown hair, the red lips on the corpse, the solemnity outside the church, the hypocrisy inside the church, the embroidered water on the benches, the elegance of the red-crowned crane, the greeting of the wildflowers, the sorrow of the starry sky...... What he's been through tonight.

He had to control everything, and in the end he lost everything. He can't stand everything that rebels against him, but the only rebellion he can resist is his son's.

The jellyfish are swimming tonight, the forest is not going out tonight, the bar is closed, the lights are connected to the east of the sunrise, and the thorn tree meets the kumquat tree tonight.

The north wind is gentle on the edge of the cliff, the old locust tree on the cliff, the half-cut annual rings of the locust tree, the white acacia flowers blooming on the annual rings, and the little bees in the heart of the flower...... The elk sitting on the prairie, the iron tree on the elk's head, the sound of the harp under the tree, the waves in the piano, the feet in the waves...... The city chosen by Xiaocao, the stinky river in the city, the high-rise buildings by the river, the feet on the top of the high-rise buildings, the Qianzhang Waterfall at the feet, and the red happy characters under the waterfall...... Tonight, where did he go, what did he see, what did he hear.

He has never been able to sort out the emotions between their father and son, he is demonically manipulated by anger to hurt him again and again, he is guilty of being blamed by morality, and in turn flatters him and makes up for him. He tried to hold him tightly, pushing him far away one last time. He learns to be tolerant of himself again and again, but he naively regards tolerance as a fluke or a should. He's been doing math problems about beating and tolerance, which is actually an ethics problem.

It's unbelievable that a child doesn't love his father. The father is violent and unscrupulous.

This night, that palm, their father and son will break.

At around seven o'clock in the morning on Sunday, there was gradually movement in the hospital, Xiaotang went out to buy breakfast, and Hyosung got up to cover his son with a quilt. At eight o'clock, the nurses and billing staff of the hospital came and went, there were patients in the outpatient hall who consulted or took the number, Xuecheng was woken up, Xiaotang cleaned up the quilt, Xiaoxing originally wanted his son to rest more, and he paid the bill alone and queued up for his aunt to accompany him for breakfast, but Xuecheng was unwilling, and as soon as his mother left, he hummed, where his mother went, he went. After completing various examinations at about 10 o'clock in the morning, I saw another doctor in the ear, nose and throat.

"It's a perforated eardrum!" The female doctor held the film and watched it for a long time.

"Hmm."

After putting down a few test reports, the doctor calmly spoke: "Uh...... If there is a possibility of deafness, prescribe some medicine to raise it first. Check again after three days, and if the spontaneous healing is not satisfactory, surgical repair should be considered. ”

"Three days later is next Wednesday, right? Dating you or Dr. Lau last night? Hyosung asked.

"Everything."

The doctor said to the adult while typing, "He needs to clean his ear canal, and I see that the child is very nervous, and he didn't look at me from beginning to end." ”

"It's okay, I'm ...... I hugged him, and he was a little resistant, scared. ”

After Hyosung hugged him, the doctor stretched out his hand when he was ready, and was beaten by Xuecheng again, and so on three times, and finally with the help of Xiaotang, the doctor carefully cleaned up the blood stasis and foreign body in the ear. The doctor who had been dealing with the original three-minute process took twenty minutes this time, and the sweaty doctor was relieved when he was done, threw away the instruments, and took off the gloves.

"Oops...... It makes me nervous too...... It's okay! Don't blow your nose after you go back, pay attention to keep warm to avoid catching a cold, and family members should not order medicine or rinse the ear canal without authorization. ”

"Yes, yes, yes!"

"Also, you must come and check again in three days, parents don't forget it!" The female doctor's voice was sweet and soft, like a spring breeze.

"Okay, okay."

After the doctor finished writing the list, he handed the four sheets to Hyosung, signed them, and said to the adults with a pen in his hand, "Dr. Yoo's doctor's order last night said that the eyes should be checked as well, and I also recommend checking them." The child's right eye is bleeding a little, and the fundus of the eye should be checked. ”

"Uh-huh."

"Then I'll transfer you to the ophthalmology department!"

"Okay, thank you, doctor."

In this way, Hyosung pulled the child and Xiaotang left the ear clinic with something in his arms. I saw an ophthalmologist at eleven o'clock, and after lunch, I did an eye examination, and in the afternoon the ophthalmologist saw that the fundus was intact after the examination, determined that the frequent blinking was caused by trauma to the eyelids, and finally prescribed a tube of anti-inflammatory drugs to be applied externally.

At five o'clock in the afternoon, the three of them returned to Fuchun Community by car. Hyosung sleeps with his son in the room, and Hyo-tang cooks dinner in the kitchen. At six o'clock, the child's grandfather came to visit, the adults had nothing to say when they met, and the old man learned to hide in the quilt after entering the room, and he resisted a little, not wanting to see his grandfather. The old man said a lot of things, but when he saw that his grandson still didn't see him, he finally wiped a few tears and came out silently. After asking about the condition, Weng and his daughter-in-law had nothing to talk about, so Zhong Neng opened his mouth to leave.

"I don't know what happened now, if I have surgery, I will go to work and take care of ......" Bao Xiaoxing's face was embarrassed, and he stopped talking.

"If you have anything to say, I'll ask for leave right away. Take care of the baby's illness first, you are under pressure, you are under pressure. "Zhong Neng warned before going out.

The two said goodbye without a word.

After Zhong Neng returned to the shop, he called his son again, but he still couldn't get through. Think about his son, think about his grandson, the old man was extremely distressed, and he called the old man in a panic to relieve his boredom.

On Sunday night, Lao Ma was peeling chestnuts for Yangyang and Zaizi, and he was full of energy when he heard such a stubble. After listening for 20 minutes, comforting from a high vantage point, he took out the old story of Chen Guzi's rotten sesame seeds and proved that his children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren. The video call between the two old men lasted for an hour, Zhong Neng finally calmed down, and the two old men made an appointment to meet tomorrow for a drink, so they made the call.

"That Zhongli is beating people again! This time it was not a light fight! I went to the hospital, and your uncle said that the eardrum was broken! After the old horse made the call, he came to the door of Gui Ying's house to carry it.

"What do you say?" At this time, Gui Ying was cutting her daughter's nails, and listening to such a thing was like pouring ice cubes.

"The baby is broken! The spirit is not normal, and when I saw him, I screamed, wrapped myself in the quilt and saw no one. "The old horse gestured.

"Did you say you had completed your studies?" Gui Ying sat up and asked.

"yes."

"What day?"

"Just yesterday! His mother stayed in the hospital all night, and today I checked in the hospital for a day, and it was not a light fight anyway! Deaf devotion! Your uncle said that if you don't recover well, you have to have surgery! ”

"Oh my God!" Gui Ying got up, walked around on the ground barefoot and in her pajamas, scratching her head, hugging her chest, frowning and sighing.

"Okay, I know, I'll ask Xing'er later." Gui Ying waved at her father.

"Huh! Don't fight now, your uncle said that the baby is not in good spirits, and her mother is not in a good state - angry or tired, you can wait for two days to get better and then ask. The old horse instructed.

"Oh, I know, I know!"

Gui Ying hugged Yangyang out of bed, put it at the door and said, "Auntie's family has something to do, mom is busy for a while, let grandpa tell you a story later!" After speaking, he kissed a few times, said a few perfunctory words, sent the two away, and closed the door.

After pacing around the bed a few times, Gui Ying called Xiaotang to inquire about his condition. Only then did she know that Xuecheng was injured, and she was anxious to comfort Hyosung, but was repeatedly dissuaded by Xiaotang, and finally hung up the phone helplessly. When she sleeps at night, Gui Ying regrets that she didn't take her two children to the oil painting village to paint as agreed yesterday, and on the other hand, she thinks that she will take Yangyang to visit Xuecheng tomorrow and let the children untie and untie the children.

At almost 10 o'clock, Hyosung asked for tomorrow's leave, both the clothing store and the restaurant, and also asked the school teacher for leave, planning to spend more time with his son tomorrow so that he could reply as soon as possible. At this time, Zhong Xuemei routinely called her younger brother and grandfather at eight o'clock in the evening, and suddenly heard her grandfather crying and crying on the phone, and her heart was heavy. Before going to bed, I chatted with my aunt for a long time, and I was worried all night.

At night, when he ate at dinner, he hid in the bed and wrapped himself in the bed, and Hyosung finally went in with a bowl to feed it, and it took half an hour to eat the meal. At nine o'clock, Xiaotang wanted to go into the room to see Xuecheng, and Xuecheng whined when he saw outsiders approaching, and then wrapped himself in the quilt again.

The two sisters were dumbfounded, and they didn't know why the child reacted when they saw their own people. Xiaotang coaxed for a long time and said a lot of sweet words, but Xuecheng was always so frightened that he hugged his mother's thighs and trembled. Hyosung was so worried that he spoke incoherently and his eyes welled up with tears, so he had to wave his hand and ask the girl to close the door and go out. Thinking of the various reactions that I have learned along the way, my mother's body is cold, like the sky falling. 166 Reading Network