Today's early bedtime diary is still written on the computer, and because of the holiday or watching videos, I have written more than a dozen chapters intermittently with my mobile phone. But I still like the real sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard, while listening to NetEase Cloud, I calmed my thoughts for the day, and went to sleep on time after writing an early bedtime diary. The weather is starting to get cooler, turn on the air conditioner to warm up the room, and then turn it off, the electric blanket is turned on at the high temperature, and it is very solid to sleep naked when the mattress is hot.

Today, the brothers came to the house to drink again, but everyone's interest didn't seem to be high, and I didn't prepare anything, a little sloppy and casual. After work, I took home the baseboard electric heater with a battery car stored at the express point, and I was too lazy to go down and buy food. I said I'd just prepare some fruit, and there was no drink at home, as if there was only green tea leftover from before. Zhang Jing brought half a roast duck and steamed buns, Zhu came empty-handed, and Leng Hao brought a lot of food, gluten, baked cakes, stinky tofu, cold dishes, etc. I was afraid that it would not be enough, so I ordered four more small fried takeaways, and the delivery was very fast. The boss was quite pitiful, so he gave me a pair of chopsticks, and blamed me for not saying hello in advance. But I don't think I can eat four dishes alone, the boss is too watery to be observant, and I shouldn't have a bad impression of praise.

Leng Hao was the last to arrive, it was almost seven o'clock, and it took about an hour for the takeaway to be delivered, but fortunately it wasn't cold, so I warmed half a roast duck in the microwave. When everyone sat down, they started drinking and chatting, the liquor was still a small bottle of seed wine brought by Zhu last time, and Zhang Jing did not drink the liquor and said that his stomach was upset. During this period, Zhang Jing and Zhu have been playing with pesticides, and Leng Hao is watching a movie, as if he is a ghost blowing a lamp. I watched the boring LOL game, JD was very crotched, and was beaten by the Taiwan team as a human machine, and I have always been not optimistic about it, and I am indeed a little disappointed. It was about nine o'clock, and the three of them left one after another, and I cleaned up and took a shower and almost rested. I got my hair cut today, and I felt that the bangs were light and uncomfortable, and it was more convenient to wear a hat and short hair while riding a bike.

Tomorrow Saturday normal work, I just deliberately set the alarm clock ten minutes down, I found today not to bring breakfast to AH, I set off directly from the east gate, in the wind belt or breakfast, cycling to the company does not go to the building to deliver breakfast, faster than before ten minutes. I used to arrive at the company at about seven o'clock, but today I arrived at less than seven o'clock. By the way, today I accidentally met the female master of the general affairs department sweeping the floor in the workshop, she said that she knew me, and asked me if I had paid the female ticket, it was on the building. I said that there was no female ticket, and she said that she often watched me deliver breakfast. I said I wouldn't send it now, and my colleague didn't need it. I was a little surprised, she didn't even know my name, she just knew me. When I delivered breakfast, I met her on time every day. There shouldn't be a chance in the future, she also joked that your conditions are so good, and you don't have a partner yet, and questioned it, and I was speechless.

N started to practice in the workshop half a day in the morning today, and she seemed to take the initiative to send me a message today, saying that she was arranged to work for an internship. She is not used to the smoke and oil noise in the workshop, and she feels motion sickness. I comforted that Gongyou is the best condition in the whole company, the most empty and quiet. I'm not used to wearing a mask tomorrow, I can't help the noise, and after a long time, it's nothing. The autumn work clothes they only issued today, N is not afraid of the cold, and they wear short sleeves all morning, and they seem to be famous in the office building today, and the news is that Miss Yu, the financial officer, came to the workshop to tell Sister Yong, and I heard it. I told N and complimented her on being unique. I said that we Northwest people are not afraid of the cold, I used to be the same, I often wear short sleeves in cold days, and after being told many times by colleagues in the office and workshop, I went with the flow and integrated into the collective, which is a kind of change and adaptation. Not much spring and autumn frost, autumn freezing is fine, good for the body.

Didn't send another message to AH today because there was no breakfast and there was no reason and identity or excuse to contact. Although I watched the little messenger online, I still hesitated for a long time and didn't bother her again. After bringing the apple to her yesterday and being decisively refused, I knew that I didn't have a chance, and AH shouldn't appear in my text in the future. N suddenly asked me today why she didn't bring breakfast to her roommate. You don't have to answer. I replied without thinking, I won't bring it anymore if I don't need it, and I don't think I will bring it in the future. I understand AH's decision this time, I don't have a chance to care for her anymore. I thought there would be a chance as a colleague or friend, but AH said no, I knew she really didn't need me anymore. I finally understand that a guy can't like a girl too much, and the more you entangle, the better you treat her, and the more she will leave you. The twisted melon is not sweet, this is also what AH taught me, I don't like to force it, I just woke up at this moment. I finally let go of AH, it should be, my heart is very calm, and I no longer feel indebted or sad.

I am a lonely soul, may be more suitable for solitude, I am a Capricorn is too stupid to be able to talk rhetorically, destined not to be liked by girls, in the face of the person I like, I just know the difficulty and retreat, taste it, see your current situation clearly, just stop in time to stop the loss. N's attitude towards me was as sensible and groomed as ever, and warned me not to be kind to her without results, she couldn't afford it. My concern went beyond my friends, and she asked me to treat her like a friend of the same sex. She won't let me message her and she's annoying. But it's not that you can't send me a message, it's just that sometimes your concern is a little too much. I know I'm self-righteous, I can't grasp the distance, I don't know how to like a person, I'm like this, I'm destined to be alone, and I won't have any self-blame and complaints when I think clearly.

I don't even know who I gave the apples to, and I don't seem to be able to finish them for a while. In fact, there are also losses, and there are unaccustomed ones. It's a failure, there is no one who likes me, and the people I like are rejecting and running away from me one by one, am I really a lone star?

I don't know, but let's just let it be. I won't send messages to N frequently in the future, I know that there are a lot of people who pursue her, she still has a male ticket, and she is a Taurus girl, and her feelings are more focused and too soft, so the person she identifies will not change easily. I wondered, did she reject other people's liking of her like she rejected me? Her male ticket is really attentive, is she insecure? I don't know it, but she seems to have a bad heart, and no longer tells me everything about her or her private affairs about her and her male ticket. Actually, I'm not so interested or curious now, I think you like someone, she doesn't belong to you, I don't like you, then it has nothing to do with you, her past, her experience, her future, it seems that she has nothing to do with you anymore, doesn't it? I remember she used to tell me that she was a bad girl, I couldn't understand it, I never understood it, just like a big thing she was doing every night, I never guessed it, she said she was free to tell me, I don't think I would have a chance anymore, maybe it doesn't matter anymore. She said that I don't understand girls at all, I don't understand girls, yes, I'm really a white, and my sister and I never talk about these topics. I must have missed the opportunity to like someone, which made her feel pressured to start alienating and running away from me.

Even if I am lost and not used to it, at least I don't regret it, I have tried to persevere, but she didn't give me a chance, I have self-knowledge, and I will retreat in the face of difficulties. I don't know if she's reading a book at night or running to lose weight, I didn't send another message to ask, I think my concern is a kind of disturbance to her, although she used to say that she read a book and run with her, it was just an occasional agreement or commitment is not enough, many of the girl's words still can't be believed, and if it's all serious, you'll lose very badly.

I was not sure if she would reply if she would reply today, but I calmed my mind and decided not to be self-righteous enough to add to my troubles. Life is back on track, and as before, it is as calm as a pool of stagnant water. In the days before AH appeared, there was no expectation and hope, there was no loss and disappointment, it was very simple and relaxed, only occasional insomnia, always self-regulated, within a controllable range.

likes a person, but often can't be so rational, stalking will only make it easier to lose her. And I don't want to lose the friends of the opposite sex that I think I cherish very much because of my own reasons, so I will definitely keep a good distance, start with the frequency of messages and the content control of chats, no longer curious to snoop on her privacy or others, no longer give her Ya pear, this kind of like has no purpose, pay at will, do not ask for anything in return, but willingly, this may be the way I think it is right, good night!