Just played two LOL Genting game mode with his good brother Ionia Region, this is the second time I've played with him since yesterday, and indeed since he got married, it doesn't seem to be playing much anymore. I haven't turned on the black and voice for a long time, and I found that there is a problem with my computer's voice system, and I can't hear the sound at all. Yesterday when I had fun,Connected with mobile phone WeChat,Some of them don't have casual chat,The mobile phone doesn't have much power to chat while charging,The sound is very small and the effect is not good,So I decided to buy a game headset immediately,This is not to Jingdong to take a look,It just so happens that Razer's game headset is on the special price of 99 yuan on one,It will arrive this evening,After eating N send me instant noodles,I went down to the express cabinet to pick it up,By the way, I sent WeChat to Qiangqiang,Are you still there, I'll log in immediately。 He quickly replied that he had been waiting for you to go online. I haven't played a game for a long time, but this tacit understanding is very familiar, and it makes people nostalgic for the days when they used to stay up late to play games. I played two games, it's already half past nine, it's relatively late, and I don't think I have time to watch "Listening to Thunder in the Extreme Sea" after writing my early bedtime diary, the second season of Tomb Robbery Notes Listening to Thunder was updated by iQiyi today, and there is finally a new drama to chase.

I didn't send N another goodnight message last night, and she should have directly rejected me for not letting me like her. She said two conditions before she would consider me. One is that she doesn't have a male ticket, of course, this is just an assumption, her boyfriend has always existed, and the second is that she stays in the city of Bengbu, this probability is also very small, maybe she just doesn't want to embarrass my fellow countryman too directly, so she deliberately said so. I don't want to take advantage of my kindness, my kindness to her, etc., I know it's all a euphemism, she really has to be a good girl, and she doesn't want to take advantage of others with kindness at heart, so I value her more. I didn't actually mean to chase her, I knew that she had a male ticket, and she was dedicated to it, so she couldn't let go. I just want to care for her more from the perspective of a fellow countryman or friend, but I didn't grasp the distance and strength, which seems to give her pressure and delusion.

It's also strange to say, after delivering breakfast to AH today, I kept seeing that her little messenger was not online, so I was worried about whether she didn't read a book and didn't eat breakfast today. I'm going to give the AH office a call and ask. I was actually chatting with N at the time, and she was also working overtime today, and she was about to go back, and it was not yet ten o'clock. Coincidentally, when I called, N was with AH, and she was in AH's office. I hung up after a few words, and AH's voice was so small that I guessed something was abnormal. I just want to make sure that AH doesn't need to work overtime at noon.

Not long after, N sent me a WeChat message and asked me if I still liked her roommate AH, and she said that she was in the AH office. She should know that I made the call. The girl's intuition is really accurate, and sometimes the accuracy is a little scary, and I was a little confused, a little flustered, and I didn't know how to answer her question. I thought about it for a while, and then I said that I used to like AH, and now that I have put it down, I feel that AH needs to be taken care of, and I am just caring for or taking care of her from the perspective of a colleague or a friend. Now, I think you still like her, otherwise why would you still take care of her, you must still like her. I'll admit I've always liked AH and haven't completely let go of it even now. I replied that I was grateful to AH for taking care of her as much as I could. Of course, I didn't tell N many details about what I liked about AH, it was my secret and agreement with AH, and I would never tell the second person. Thanks, why thanks? I said that AH is the first girl I really like, she has given me care and warmth, she has changed some of my negative emotions, such as I don't have insomnia now, I can go to bed early and get up early, etc. I'm the kind of person who thinks about what others do to me, and I will be good to her regardless of the consequences. N asked me again, has anyone told you that you live in your own world?

Without even thinking about it, I immediately answered her. I said yes, but I didn't tell her who it was. Actually, the first time I told this sentence was AH, I have been cocooning myself and living in the abyss of my own creation. I explained that maybe I was alone for too long to be so self-righteous, lacking care and warmth, and not getting along with people normally, especially girls, my likes will always put pressure on each other, and I sometimes don't know it. She asked me again, has anyone told you that you have the physique of a scumbag. I pondered for a long time, as if no girl had ever said this to me. Because I haven't had a female ticket at all, who's going to say that about me? I just said, I haven't had a female ticket, I haven't met someone like me, I've actually been giving up on myself and being very unconfident, I've been denying myself, questioning my own existence, I really don't seem to know how to like someone! I asked, do you think I'm a scumbag? N replied, I don't know how to tell you. Girls are really weird.,Last time I said I was a warm man.,Today I suspect that I have a scumbag physique.,I really don't understand what's going on? Then I haven't replied to my messages for a long time.

I gradually feel that fellow N has slowly adapted to the current life or work, and there is loneliness and boredom, or maybe I feel the inexplicable pressure from my fellow countryman, she began to deliberately alienate me, and I still have this bit of self-knowledge. I know that it started with not saying goodnight that night, and then it was the frequency and speed of resuming messages, and the number of times I took the initiative to message me, etc. I'm really scared to get used to certain things or maybe get used to them, like greetings before work, staying safe, are you home, etc., good night before bed. These details used to appear in every detail of life, but now it seems that there is no trace of existence. If life is only as it was first seen, these beautiful things can only be seen more clearly in the memory. This sense of distance is very good, after all, we are just fellow villagers at most friends, I will not have other unrealistic fantasies and expectations, just as I didn't want her to confess to pursue her, I will respect her wishes, no longer self-righteous, and can't put pressure on others unknown.

Of course, these truths and understandings were only learned and understood after I asked AH by the way when I delivered the meal today. AH said that if you chase a girl, this girl will not allow you to take care of other girls, she will be angry and insecure, right, I guess later? I didn't understand or understand it before, because I really haven't really gotten along with girls, and I can't know the minds of girls. I just said it's embarrassing, I don't have to chase N or anything, I just want to take care of her when my fellow countryman and friends want to take care of her in need, AH gloated and said with a smile, you may not have grasped the distance. It should be like this, N will leave Bengbu nine times out of ten, I just want to take care of her when she needs help before she leaves, this is what I promised her, but she has not allowed me to do this, and is deliberately avoiding and alienating me, I know that I was wrong, just like I liked AH at the beginning, so that she had pressure and wanted to escape. I'm a real failure, I'm good for nothing, I think, I really don't understand girls, especially girls I have a crush on and want to like.

N has always been insecure in the world of feelings, and her male ticket seems to have been disconnected by flowers, so she hates boys who are not single-minded, and boys who are flowery. She said that she was soft-hearted and gave everything for the men's ticket, and I really envied them, and they could give everything in order to deal with it, which I didn't have, experienced, or even understood. That's why N thinks I'm a scumbag, just because I've been taking care of AH, but I haven't admitted that I like AH. She decided that I had always liked AH, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to take care of her all the time. I admit the girl's intuition and judgment, and I can't refute it and can't admit it myself. Like someone, the other party doesn't like you, and wants to run away from you, the best choice you can make is to let go, let go of yourself in order to let go of the other party faster. I have decided that I will do whatever I can for the sake of the person I like, regardless of the consequences, and enjoy the process of taking care of her, which is what AH has taught me. Although I like a person to be humble, sometimes I will be taken advantage of, I am at ease, willingly, this is the creed and attitude I like a person. Show up when you need it, stay away when you don't need it, and don't put any pressure on her, that's the only thing I can do well!

I feel like my life is back to the rhythm of before, there is no expectation, no warmth, no care and no mention, I love myself and be myself, although such days are boring and boring, but they are also easy to sink into. Calm as water, not alarmed, this may be the best state of life, how can the heart be easily rekindled! Good night!