Ignorant people and those who don't know the truth are often happy; And a person who is familiar with the truth but can pretend to know nothing must be powerful.

I didn't plan to write today's early bedtime diary, and I'm not in the mood to play the game after three games. Today is a day of fear, and time flies extraordinarily long. This also starts with receiving a call from my eldest sister in the morning, who has been away from my hometown and family for many years, and is most afraid of receiving a call from my relatives suddenly, especially at an unusual time, when nothing good happens. It was the same before, and it is the same today. I remember the first time my mother had an accident, when the lumbar vertebra fractured, it was also the eldest sister who called me to tell me what happened, I was very surprised and surprised that the whole person was in a state of confusion, and I couldn't calm down anymore, and then I bought a ticket back to my hometown the next day, and took a leave of absence to go home. These memories are still vivid and recognizable. I don't dare to remember it again, for fear that I can't afford to pile up and replay these memories, and the past will be unbearable.

Recently, I found a drama that can be chased - "Secret and Great", at this time, I am writing an early bedtime diary while watching the drama, I hope to write out the things in my heart through the text record, and I can sleep peacefully, at least I won't have insomnia tonight. I just received the message that my salary had arrived, and I hurriedly sent a message to N to tell her the good news. She had already paid me back a few hours earlier. It turned out that the salary had already arrived, and she immediately paid me back, and she didn't like to owe favors to others. I misunderstood her for a while, thinking that I had said the wrong thing and made her unhappy before paying me back.

Let's go back to the phone call of the eldest sister today, I am honestly a little flustered, listening to everyone's spitting tone, crying and crying, I know what is happening. It's a family matter, who do I ask, dad or mom. The eldest sister finally calmed down and told me the truth, she had already told her sister, and the family had kept it a secret from me, but after discussing with my sister, the eldest sister decided to tell me that this was the only man in the family. I'm the head of the family, it's time to take charge of the family and share the burden for my family, but I seem to be a failure, and I can't make a difference. That's why my family deliberately concealed me, last time my mother was sick and hospitalized, and lied to me that it was a minor surgery for stones, it seems that there is more than that. This time, because of the second sister's matter, I quarreled with my mother, and all kinds of things about Chen sesame and rotten grain came out, and my mother said the matter.

As a son of man, I am very ashamed, I feel so unfilial, I am so far away from home, I can't take care of my parents. Dad has a big heart and is not in good health, the two of them hate each other, they quarrel every day and don't get along, they can't count on taking care of them at all, I don't know who I can count on. My mother is the kind of person who doesn't cherish herself, deliberately hurts herself, has a strong temper, doesn't take any medicine and supplements she buys, and always has a tendency to be a child, and can't remember it if she doesn't tell her. My parents' defect of not communicating seems to have been inherited to me, and I don't know how to communicate with my family at all. There was only quarrel and no communication. And I'm extremely inferior, I like to run away and don't dare to face problems, I'm cowardly and useless. I don't even seem to have the courage to call to confirm, at least at this moment I don't dare I would rather believe that this is a lie, or an unrealistic dream, my mother deliberately exaggerated her condition in order to scare the second sister, or everyone was too nervous to describe it seriously.

The last time I came home, I didn't notice a hint of the wind and grass, and it seems that they deliberately hide it from me, and sometimes ignorance or ignorance is really a happy thing. A false alarm or a lost recovery should be the most surprising. However, the truth is not so optimistic, life is always so difficult, fate is so teasing, fate is unlucky, and it cannot be reversed, so you can only face it calmly. The eldest sister's statement should be that my mother's condition does not seem to be optimistic, the kind of kidney failure, the need for kidney replacement surgery is very expensive, and the current economic conditions cannot afford it, so I conceal it and do not report it, and I am still saving money for the life events of my daughter-in-law. When I woke up, I woke up like a dream. You only have one life, and it's too fragile. Good health, family harmony, how important it is, everything else is nothing.

I decided that even if I broke the bank and gave my mother a kidney, I couldn't watch my family suffer from illness. I didn't have the courage to call home today, I admitted that I was suspected of evading, and when I suddenly learned the news, it inevitably felt unreal, and I haven't accepted it from the bottom of my heart. If a loved one's life begins to count down, calculated by minutes and seconds, does it need to be particularly cherished and live in the present.

Yes, if you are right, three or five years is indeed not much. There is something we need to do as children to change this. Don't leave any regrets, do your best to obey the destiny of God. They should still think that I don't know the truth, so I'll pretend not to know for the time being, and wait until tomorrow to find out the truth in detail, and discuss the most perfect solution with my sisters and sisters, as well as relatives and friends, and brothers and sisters, I am not alone in the burden, suddenly less helpless and panicked. Learn to accept reality, change the status quo, do it and cherish it, and have fun in time. Do your best to obey the destiny of heaven, and leave the rest to time. I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I'm going to adjust myself so I don't lose sleep. Good night!