Today is a day of complete overtime, and I brought breakfast to AH as usual this morning, and today I learned that she doesn't like to eat tea eggs. I don't know how many more opportunities to bring her breakfast, I think I cherish every opportunity she needs me. By the way, I brought her a working meal at noon, and out of gratitude for giving me an apple, I took it home and ate it in the evening, it was really sweet. Sometimes I think about whether my early sleep diary should be renamed as a licking dog diary, but I'm afraid that the opportunity is rare, and the problem of going to bed early has been solved, but as a licking dog, I'm afraid that there will be no chance, which is quite frustrating.

Today's overtime is basically no big deal, the main daily work and summary proposals, I didn't do much physical work, and I took a break at noon, which is a relaxing day. There is no rest for two days on the weekend, firstly, the workshop has heavy production tasks and needs to work overtime, and secondly, it may be as simple as that if you want to send AH one more breakfast. Besides, I don't want to stay at home and waste my life, and I can mix overtime pay with overtime. Suddenly, I felt a sense of loss in my heart, and I felt that I would soon lose the opportunity to lick the dog, which was very sad.

How to say it, AH seems to be sick today, I guess I have heat stroke or cold, dizziness and nausea, and I went back to the dormitory early to rest. She sent me a message to tell me, asking me if I was busy working overtime and what time I would get off work. I'm quite worried, persuade her to take medicine and go to bed early or something, by the way, and drink more hot water haha, I said this on purpose. Actually, I've been hesitant to add her back on WeChat, anyway, there is a common group, and you can re-add friends at any time. I'm really worried about her, otherwise I wouldn't be able to take the initiative anymore, did I really let her go, at least not at the moment. She said that she would invite me to dinner after the exam, and I pretended to promise her, and if it was the last supper, I would never go. I am a person who is afraid of losing, and I am afraid to have it because I am too afraid to lose. I am grateful for her presence and the change in my life. I don't think it matters what she did to me, whether her greetings and concerns about me were genuine, I always took it seriously. I always feel that in this lonely and indifferent world, there are still people who are willing to take the time to warm and care for you, there are not many such opportunities, you really have to do it and cherish it.

Calm down and think about it, I don't simply like AH, there are more layers of dependence, I always feel that she needs to be taken care of. If she can't take care of herself, I'll worry that it's as simple as that. She was the first girl to give me a different experience, and I missed the care and warmth, the relief of desperation, and although I couldn't do what it didn't happen, I couldn't deceive my instincts. It may be out of gratitude or gratitude, or more complex and indescribable emotions, or it may be a kind of desperate liking or presumptuousness. Some feelings are difficult to express in words, so you can only bury them deep in your heart, waiting for time to seal the dust and forget. I feel that I have lost her, and I will never have a chance to be a qualified licking dog, and I can also face it calmly, and I like to ask for it alone. In fact, this kind of obsession is more likely to make people completely sink and collapse. I'm really glad that I was at that time, I restrained my emotions and desires, and I was very relieved that nothing happened to me, otherwise I might never forget what I couldn't let go, and I would have been blaming myself. Now in my heart, in addition to gratitude, I am grateful, grateful for all the things she has done for me, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or right, the process is often more important than the result.

Worried about her adding her WeChat again tonight, she called me and chatted for a while, it was quite natural, I didn't miss her so much, everything about her. Just hearing a familiar and gentle voice reassures me. I was relieved to learn that she was in a better mood, that she had eaten, that she was almost cured, and that she was going to bed early after taking a hot bath. She asked me to delete her WeChat after chatting, and I did. I'm afraid that I won't be able to control myself, and I will send her a message or voice message when I miss it at night, which will make her angry and make her stressed. I did it, took the initiative to delete, I felt that I had really begun to let go, I almost forgot the impulse and throbbing at that time, those feelings that I thought were deep-seated hysteria have been slowly diluted in time, sometimes to miss, it feels like the memory has blurred, her face has begun to blur.

It's hard to forget someone, but it's not necessarily impossible to find it, and the record I'm making now is a way to let go. It's just that these specious and ambiguous words in my heart, if you write it down, your heart will become empty, and no one in your heart can sleep well, it must be like this. Thinking that she would really take my work seriously, I liked and missed her between the lines. I don't think she will go to see it, and there is no need to do it. It doesn't matter if you look at it or not, you can't fundamentally change her views or ideas. Sometimes I like to be humble like this without myself, which is also a process that must be experienced by growing up. Liking can only be my own business, but I will still persevere, because I have never had this kind of experience, and there may not be many opportunities like this in my life, and I am experiencing it now, and I will cherish it. But I know very well that I won't dwell on it, and liking someone won't make her sad and sad. So, you can put it down, which is also a way and method to like.

I felt it in my words, AH's swallowing and hiding, she had some scruples about me, and probably didn't want to hurt me, so she hid it. I'm self-aware. I don't expect the end, I don't expect the result, I just hope that the time will be slower, there will be more opportunities to bring breakfast, and I can write an early bedtime diary every day before going to bed, and miss her. I know that these days will not last long, and there will always be some changes. Hey, whatever, don't think too much, it's too long-term, or you'll have nightmares or insomnia because you think too much.

By the way, just now my neighbor Erjun sent me peanuts and grapes grown at home, and I am very fortunate to have such a good neighbor and good colleague who is kind and generous and optimistic, sharing food and sometimes giving advice. Today's game live broadcast is also very exciting, as expected, JD3:1LGD, I like it, and watching the game live broadcast also relaxes me. By the way, Xiaobai recommended me to download the movie "Miracle in the Green Mile", I haven't had time to watch it yet, and she hasn't replied to my message when she's busy today. Today's LOL canteen is really boring, I don't want to watch it, but it's still early, write an early bedtime diary, and then watch a movie, it's easy to wake up early if you go to bed too early, so it's good night!