I don't know what to write today, today is a full day of overtime on Saturday, and it is the third Saturday that I miss AH, and more than 20 days have passed. Those deep-rooted memories will still linger in my mind from time to time, and I will never forget them. It was also the third weekend that I insisted on sleeping in a tatami room. There is a live LOL event on Saturday, and it is common to watch the game and fight a few big fights. In the past, I always played a few more, because I didn't have to go to work on Sundays, and I would often stay up late and lose sleep, so a vicious circle. Ever since I forced myself to forget AH, I have found a new direction and persistence, starting to write an early bedtime diary at 9 o'clock on time, and tidying up and falling asleep after an hour or so. I never slept lazily on Sunday, and I always got up early in the morning to go outside for morning exercises. Spend a boring weekend. This week is different, the workshop production is too busy, and I will work overtime normally tomorrow, and I have been working for two weeks in a row, and the scene of sweating in the workshop is very fulfilling. There may be more content tonight, try to sleep a little later, and tomorrow will wake up very early.

Because of drinking last night, I have no appetite, I woke up at three o'clock in the morning and didn't feel sleepy, looked at my phone until dawn, and got up normally to work overtime. Last night was a more disappointing day, and I experienced the despair and helplessness of being deleted from WeChat again. I know it's me, I didn't control my emotions, I said the wrong thing, AH deleted me, and didn't let me bring her breakfast, in fact, I'm used to getting up early every day to line up for breakfast. I did drink too much, and I was very happy when I was approved by WeChat, and I don't remember what I said while I was drinking, but I just remember to delete WeChat and not let me bring breakfast anymore. Fortunately, I calmed down after I woke up and decided that I should bring her breakfast, maybe she didn't come to work overtime today, maybe she was really angry with me and stopped eating the breakfast I brought, or maybe this was my last chance to bring breakfast. At that time, I was very flustered, thinking that I might really lose AH, she really had to ignore me, I didn't have a chance.

I miss all the feelings of the first time, and I don't forget it, but I hate it and even feel scared of the last time, because I was too narrow and careful. For example, the last dinner, the last meeting, the last conversation, etc., I don't have the courage to face it, and I always choose to escape, maybe I'm really afraid of losing.

Fortunately, there are inextricable differences between the development of things and expectations, AH came to work overtime today but it was a little late, I don't know if she slept well last night, and the breakfast may be cold I don't know if I can eat it. But she told me that she had bought breakfast herself and that she still ate what I brought today. I feel at ease at the moment, and once again I feel so familiar and fascinated by the feeling of being needed. I'm so grateful to AH, give me this feeling, sometimes I think I'm really cheap, but I feel from the bottom of my heart, everything I am willing to do, maybe there is no result, I value and cherish this process, because many times the process is often more important than the result, and it is more difficult to forget.

explained to AH, she said that she was not angry with me, and I believed it, and I would choose to believe her words without hesitation. I promise to absolutely abide by the agreement and secrets between us in the future, and not to easily test or cross the line to add her WeChat. She has all my contact details, and I currently only have a pay phone and a small messenger in the office, which I think is enough. Just now when I was playing LOL Smash Bros. Bros. Bros. Fight.,When the war was scorching.,A familiar phone number called.,I didn't answer because of the game.,I thought about AH and there wasn't much going on.,Maybe I'm tired of reading and want to go back to the dormitory early to rest.,She's not sleeping well lately.,Maybe just tell me to continue to bring breakfast tomorrow.。 After hesitating for a moment, when the game was over, I picked up the phone and called back, but no one answered, and I guess she had already arrived at the dormitory, and I was relieved. In fact, I thought that I might talk to her again, the kind that talked about everything and had no scruples like before. But there is no opportunity that I missed, but I am also very calm, without loss and doubt, I will think about every word she has said, slowly put it down, pour it out in the form of words, and have nothing to think about in my heart, I hope she will not be distracted to adjust her state, and have a good sleep and weekend time.

Tonight, I'm not going to say goodnight to Bei Bei anymore, it's been a week since I met on a blind date, and there has been no progress in the chat, which makes me very frustrated and begin to doubt my existence. I may not really be worthy of such a good girl, I really can't chat, I'm a lonely soul, maybe it's suitable for being alone. If you take the initiative for a long time, you will be tired and there will be no interest, but I think you need to divide people, for example, for AH, I can move forward without scruples, and I will never get tired of it, I really like it. Hey, I don't want to think so much, just go with the flow, cherish every day when you can still get along with AH, and every morning with breakfast, not in the middle of the night or early morning hours of insomnia. The little messenger's peace of mind when she chats, the nightly anticipation of phone calls and her gentle healing voice, and of course, those deep-rooted memories.

Tomorrow I will work overtime, and I will get up early normally, but it may be about ten minutes late, I am worried that AH will work late, and breakfast may be cold, if she does not heat it, she will often have allergies, etc., and it is not good for the stomach. I didn't get a call tonight, just explain it tomorrow, and I'm sure she won't blame me. I actually miss her, but I feel like I can control my thoughts and emotions, I feel that under her guidance, I have grown, I am slowly changing myself, and I am now getting better and better at self-control. Take the as an example.,Although there is a physiological need.,But it's no longer out of control.,I haven't had self-defense for almost three weeks.,I think I might really be able to quit sex.,Although the desire has been raised,But it's been under control.,It's the same as before.,That's what I've gained.。 Will I become confident and sunny because of this, and quitting color can really change myself. These changes are all brought about by AH, especially going to bed early, insomnia is only occasional, but I can always adapt to waking up early. I was able to adapt to it without a lunch break in the past few days, but occasionally I was sleepy or napping in the afternoon, but it didn't hurt. Yes, be yourself, change yourself, and your sunny and confident self will shine on your body. In the dark, she really needs light to guide the way, and she is that light. Good night to yourself!