On a hot summer night, my fingers were cold, and I slid numbly across the phone screen and stopped at Mu Liang's name.

I hesitated for a long time, before Mu Liang, I also thought about this decision, maybe I am gone, maybe no one will remember me, no one will pay attention to the fact that a person's avatar in social software will always be gray. And now, I have someone to worry about, although the relationship has not been for a long time, but he has become the only person I can leave a word for.

"If one day I'm gone, will you remember me?" With tears in my eyes, I sent this text message, and without looking at his reply, I chose to turn it off.

Mom returned to her room, still cursing loudly.

I took out the ring, put it on my finger, turned it around, put my name and his last name on it, put it on my heart, felt it one last time, and then silently put it back in the innermost layer of the bag. Maybe after I'm gone, I'll be turned out, right? Will you find clues and then go to Mu Liang for trouble? I'll hide the ring in a box of miscellaneous items, so that it will be gone with me, right? No one can find out.

After double-checking that everything was cleared, I smiled reassuringly, leaving at this point was perhaps the best relief, I still couldn't get rid of my fate after all, and I wasn't strong enough to fight it to the end.

That's it! Cowardice is cowardice, at least it will be pure in the future.

I looked in the mirror, my face was a little swollen with tears, and I changed into clean clothes.

Walked out the door and walked through the living room with the sound of swearing.

Came to the kitchen, closed the kitchen window, removed the pot on the stove, and turned on the gas. The natural gas stove at home has to be beaten several times, and it is very loud. After two times, a flame suddenly rushed up, and the blue light was a little strange in the night.

Finally, lock the kitchen door again.

Quietly leaning against the wall and sitting down, the summer tiles are so cold, but the mood is unusually calm at this moment, without the slightest wave, it is the calmest moment when I grow up to my twenties. No matter how ugly the swearing outside the door was, it didn't matter at the moment, and it wouldn't be long before I knew anything. I looked at the walls around me, familiar and unfamiliar, and there were still traces of the fight between my father and mother on the door.

There are a few cracks in the tiles not far away, which must have exploded when the pressure cooker exploded.

At this moment, my memory is unusually clear, and I recall that the pressure cooker explosion that year should be when I was still in my first year of junior high school. There has been a problem with the pressure cooker at home, and Dad is ready to go into the kitchen to see how the porridge is cooking. As soon as one foot stepped through the door, there was a loud bang! Dad was all in place, and Mom ran all the way from the hallway outside the kitchen door to the living room to the balcony. I stared blankly, as my mother ran past me, shouting at me, let alone pulling me.

My dad and I were left dumbfounded, watching my mom run away alone.

The explosion was so bad that the kitchen windows shook downstairs, and the whole kitchen was in shambles, and the porridge in the pot jumped all over the ceiling.

Now that I think about it, in such a sudden situation, the person my mother cares about the most is not me, right? I feel sad when I think about it.

Now some smells can be smelled in the kitchen, the door is always closed, and no one is knocking.

It doesn't matter, what am I expecting? Just give it up......

The smell in the kitchen gradually became stronger.

"Jingle Bell! Jingling! I love you! "A familiar voice came from downstairs!

I'm starting to get confused, right? How could it be Mu Liang?

"I ...... Love....... You! Jingling! ”

Jingling? Who's going to call me by my social nickname at this time? The sound is like from far to near, and from near to far. I'm sure this is Mu Liang's voice! He didn't know where I was, so he was anxious to shout everywhere?

Hearing his voice, I was sad and panicked. My mood was no longer calm, and tears welled up in my eyes.

At this time, the people who cared about me the most rushed to me from the other side of the city. And my relatives under one roof never came to see me!

I seemed to see Mu Liang stomping his feet in a hurry, and when he made a frantic call, he heard an indifferent female voice over there: The other party has turned off the phone.

I'm gone, and it's still the one who loves me, right? Even if I die, my mother may cry in front of outsiders, and then pick herself up, everything has nothing to do with her. So who have I hurt?

I got up and turned off the gas. I opened the window, and the fresh air outside came to my face, and my mind seemed to be much clearer.

When I opened the door, I saw my mother's room when I passed by the living room, and I didn't know when the windows were all open, and I changed my usual routine to not even close the curtains.

I sneered, how stupid am I?! Choose the point of no return for someone who doesn't care about themselves.

Back in the room, I turned on my phone and sent a series of text messages and messages.

"Where are you going? What are you doing?! ”

"I'll go to your house! I'm out, you wait for me! ”

"Let's talk about something, okay?"

Looking at his text messages, I burst into tears.

"You're breaking up with me? Or did you quarrel with your aunt? ”

A neighbor downstairs scolded: "What is the noise so late?!" ”

Mu Liang stopped shouting.

I saw that the phone was lit up again: "If you don't reply to me, I'll call the police." ”

I hurried back: I'm fine.

After Mu Liang received it, he called back, and I hung up and replied by text message again: It's okay, it's just that I'm in a bad mood.

What are you doing? What were you doing?! Mu Liang's text messages kept coming.

"Go back, I'll be fine."

"I'm not leaving, I'm guarding you downstairs."

Mu Liang's words poked at the softest place in my heart, and tears couldn't stop flowing.

He didn't ask me what had happened, maybe because he was afraid of making me sad again, and just sent all kinds of jokes and text messages as before, sharing music one song after another.

I lay in bed, listening to his music, thinking that if I insisted on a little longer, I might actually leave.

For a long, long time, maybe I didn't reply.

He sent a long paragraph:

"Xiang Wan, I never thought about what life would be like without you, I was panicked at this moment, and my brain was blank. I just want to find you, all because I don't have enough power to protect you, so you want to leave, or even give up on me. Please have faith in me, please have faith in life. We can have a good future, and in the near future we can have a home of our own, with love and warmth. I'm going to work in that direction, believe me, I'm here. If you still don't choose me in the end, the only thing I want you to be safe and happy in your life. ”

I can't deceive my heart. On this night, I experienced the greatest disappointment in the world, but also the greatest affection and life that I can look forward to.

Mu Liang, he is like a beam of light, shining through the cracks of my life, making my endless dark night bright. Many insignificant "little things" almost contributed to my destruction, and Mu Liang's words full of affection pulled me back from the abyss.