Xiao Xia, a lot of things have happened in her mother's life recently, and her mother's heart is very tired. Sometimes I feel so tired that it feels like I can sleep forever. Sometimes I feel so unhappy, as if I haven't been happy for a long, long time.

Xiaoxia, Mom has always wanted to give you a positive feeling of sunshine, but Mom can't always be so positive and optimistic. My mother's wounded heart sometimes sends my mother tears, and sometimes it makes my mother sad.

Today, my mother wants to tell you what it feels like to be sad, and I hope that you, like your mother, will accept that you are sometimes unhappy.

The first type of unhappiness is when the mother feels that she is not being affirmed. After mom and dad are separated, they have to endure two things. The first is the attribution of grandpa to the separation of mom and dad, all of which is often attributed to the mother's incompetence in the disappointed conversation of the old couple. The second is that society has a special classification for people who have lost their marriage, and the mother is already a person who has been labeled in red.

Comparing these two points, my mother felt that what made her even more unhappy was her grandfather's blame. Despite knowing that a failed marriage is always a problem for two people, Mom must not be able to blame Dad completely. But the mother is very reluctant to receive negative feedback from her relatives. Every time I heard that, my mom felt like she was abandoned by the whole world. This kind of questioning of herself from the bottom of her heart always makes her mother feel powerless to faint.

Xiao Xia, the quarrel with our relatives is very painful, because we are willing to be more authentic ourselves when facing our relatives, so we are often open-mouthed. In fact, Mom and Dad were like this before, we were more polite and understanding to our colleagues and friends. But once they face each other, they will say the most true words from the bottom of their hearts, and those words often do not take into account the feelings of others.

Mom guessed that the reason for this is because with people close to us, we want the other person to understand our feelings, so we will say the most true words in our hearts. This is right in itself, but sometimes our hearts are burdened with long-term complaints, and the real language it conjures up is so sharp that it may give a heavy blow to our loved ones.

Xiao Xia, this is just her mother's guess, and there is no way to draw a conclusion from this guess. What does that mean? It is my mother's experience that tells my mother that speaking what is in my heart, to a certain extent, makes my mother lose a home, and also makes the relationship between my mother and my grandfather very tense. But my mother is reluctant to tell you that you should hide what you are talking about, go to meet people and talk to people, and be a delicate person. Mom doesn't know if she should also use verbal skills to choose words for those closest to her. Mom knows that communication skills are highly valued by everyone, and Mom herself is always learning, especially between relatives and couples. But my mother is still naïve and delusional, and she can be completely herself. So Xiaoxia, Mom believes that you will make your own choices, Mom hopes that you can do whatever you want, if your heart allows you to act at the opportunity, then please use your skills to communicate. If you want to say whatever you want, then mom wants you to do it.

Xiao Xia, the second unhappiness of her mother is because for a long time, her mother has not established a stable circle of friends. Friends, like your financial account, need to save all the time, so that when you need comfort, companionship, or help, you can withdraw the friendship from your friend's bank. In this regard, Dad is much better than Mom, Dad is not only good at taking care of real financial accounts, but also good at taking care of friends' accounts. One of the secrets that Mom learned from Dad is that when you suddenly think of a friend, or suddenly think of something related to a friend, please immediately act to tell him that you think of him. That's what you do when you save money. In the past, my mother did a very poor job in this regard, but now she is slowly catching up, but what she has lost has been many years.

Xiaoxia, when my mother is younger, is the most suitable age to make friends, because everyone is lively and stress-free, and the school atmosphere gives us all kinds of opportunities to meet different people. But at that time, my mother didn't think that friendship was important because of a prejudice that she didn't know where it came from. Xiao Xia, this mother can clearly tell you that this is a wrong understanding. The degree of error it can even affect a person's lifelong happiness. Not getting friends who really think about you will leave you with a desert of solitude and barrenness. A small friendship investment, in exchange for a colorful paradise.

Yes, as long as it is an investment, there will be risks, but it is also profitable, please don't choke on a few naïve and wrong playmates.

Mom is sitting in this barren desert right now and telling you how she really feels. Life needs friendship, love and family affection, all of which are indispensable, regardless of priority.

Mom's third unhappiness is because you're forgotten by your dad. Xiao Xia, Mom and Dad have separated. But when Mom messes things up and feels stressed, she still hopes that Dad can think that Mom is facing difficulties. In fact, this luxury has never really been realized, neither in the past nor in the present. But my mother has no backbone to think that she is a person worthy of being remembered, so she should be remembered. A lot of people think that way because we all want to be cherished. But this kind of silent extravagance itself is to expect others to pay attention to you, and at the same time, there are superpowers that will appear when you need them, just like in a movie. Although I know it's unreasonable, my mother thinks so. Mom will also feel discouraged when she sees Dad happy and happy after leaving Mom.

Xiao Xia, a really strong person, would not be like this. And a person who pretends to be strong will not admit that he has such feelings. Mom is neither. But Mom knows that although this feeling appears out of place, it will slowly disappear. Xiao Xia, her mother is fragile, and her mother chooses to accept herself like this.

Xiao Xia, the fourth unhappiness that her mother faces is that her mother wants to stay away from love. This is probably the first time this idea has come up recently, but it is so strong that Mom thinks it is very real, that is, Mom doesn't want to experience love anymore, let alone get married again. What a negative emotion it is, and it brings unhappiness to my mother.

But Xiao Xia, you know what, not getting married also has its very free side. Although I think about it negatively, it can actually be a good thing. In the time and space of my mother's existence, being single is a deviant tragedy. Most people will comment that such a lonely life will usher in a sad old age, and it is even better to live with someone you don't like.

But Xiao Xia, her own Ruyi, and only one person is Ruyi, or both of them are barely unsatisfactory, what is the best? Mom didn't have an answer either. But it's important to stick to your wishes as much as possible, because all the outcomes of life will be on you, not anyone else. And no matter how complicated the process is, how much external force interferes, Mom hopes that you can understand that all of this is your own choice in the end.

Thank you for accompanying Mom through sad days. After talking to you, Mom feels much happier.