Later, my father suffered from typical depression at one point.

This is a fact that Zhao Xun can't refuse or escape!

Since the last time my father came back from the old house, my father has always stopped talking for several days, even the small restaurant that he usually goes to several times, and he has never explained anything to Zhao.

If I go out to buy groceries occasionally, I only make the amount of two people, but my father often buys the amount of five people.

Like forgetting to put salt in cooking, it is common to go out and can't distinguish between southeast and northwest.

Sometimes looking at Zhao Xun but calling his brother's name, Zhao Xun did feel that something was wrong with his father, Zhao Xun asked his father if he felt that he was uncomfortable, and then his father always shook his head, and then ignored her.

Sometimes he even said some inexplicable things, and Zhao Xun didn't know what his father would say.

Zhao Xun felt a faint pain in her heart, she knew that her father's body might really have some problems, but she didn't want to believe all this.

Zhao Xun didn't call her brother, she didn't want to worry her brother until his father didn't know the cause.

Zhao Zhao asked for personal leave after explaining the situation to the unit leader, and then took his father to the largest hospital in the town for a full body examination.

My father was very cooperative, and I quickly completed a series of examinations, but the money was a little more, but Zhao Xun didn't care, she felt that as long as her father's health was good, it was worth it.

Fortunately, the results of those examinations were clearly shown that my father did not have any organic lesions, but later a brain surgeon suggested that Zhao Xun should be checked by the psychiatric outpatient department, but at first Zhao Xun refused, and even turned his head away.

Zhao Xun thinks that anyone who says that you have mental problems, you will be anxious and white-faced, not to mention that your father was still working non-stop some time ago, in just half a year, how could my father have mental problems?

But later, because of the fruitless search, looking at his father who was getting worse and worse, Zhao Xun, who had no choice, could only listen to the doctor's advice.

In the psychological sunshine clinic, Zhao Xun met the female doctor who diagnosed his father for the first time, and the doctor asked his father for some personal information and some basic information about his father at home, and asked the family to go out and wait, so Zhao Xun was not present at the time, the doctor talked to his father alone, and he didn't know how he was diagnosed with that terrible and fatal disease in the end!

It may be that some examinations and related tests have been done, in short, Zhao Xun has not been present, in fact, before Zhao Xun came to register, he inquired with relevant people about some information about the psychiatrist here, and later hung up the number of this female doctor, who is a deputy chief physician.

It was about half an hour later, a nurse helped his father out, and then the doctor asked Zhao to find it, Zhao Xun rushed in, she just wanted to know what happened to her father immediately, but she didn't expect the doctor to tell Zhao categorically that what he was looking for could be diagnosed with depression!

Depression! Depression! Depression!

The doctor introduced Zhao to the following:

"Depression, also known as depressive disorder, is the main type of mood disorder in most patients with hypothymia as the main clinical feature.

The most common clinical symptoms are depressed, depressed, isolated from society, or sad and depressed and likely to produce suicide, and in severe cases, psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, and delusions can occur. ”

This is the first time Zhao Xun has come into contact with the word depression, and her understanding of depression is probably only on Tencent News, staged a certain mother jumped to death due to postpartum depression, a senior high school student attempted suicide due to a low ranking, and a certain depressed patient went missing and sought social help.

After Zhao returned home, Baidu had a lot of depression-related knowledge, which gave him some further understanding.

Maybe because of this illness, her father didn't seem to be worried about her mental problems, and Zhao Xun was also thinking about how she should tell her brother the news of her father, and she didn't know how much her brother would react.

After thinking about it, Zhao Xun still decided not to tell his younger brother first, it is not easy for his younger brother to have a job in such a big Beijing, if he knows that his father is sick, his younger brother will definitely rush back immediately regardless of everything, Zhao Xun understands very well the pain of being fired because of a certain thing, it is an irreparable pain!

When he was ready, Zhao Xun and the doctor started the first round of treatment for his father.

The doctor said that after returning home, the family must be accompanied more, more psychological counseling, and divert the father's attention, and then it is very important to take the medicine on time, but it is better to have someone with you, so as to avoid some unnecessary things.

Without the restaurant's source of funds, it takes money to see a doctor and take medicine, and it also needs money to eat, so Zhao can only continue to work in the Unicom business hall.

Unexpectedly, the medicine was eaten quickly, but his father's mental state was not very good, although he would also tell Zhao Xun some things that she didn't understand, but Zhao Xun could still vaguely feel that something was wrong with his father.

Zhao Zhao Zhao always locks the door before going to work every day, and before getting off work at noon, Zhao Zhao will rest in the unit, but now Zhao Zhao will come back to the house every day at noon, mainly to see 'to see his father, and then bring his father back with lunch.

In fact, Zhao Xun didn't want to do this, but she felt that this kind of life that seemed to be good to her father restricted her father's freedom.

When my father was young, he was such a face-saving person, but he became like this when he came, and he locked people in the house, what is the difference between that and a babbling child, but Zhao Zhen really has no choice, she can't shake her arms in front of the leader and say that Lao Tzu is gone, she needs this little money, she needs it very much.

Later, when the cost of medicine was really not enough, Zhao Xundu even had the idea of beating the diamond ring that his brother bought for her.

In fact, Zhao Xun sometimes couldn't sleep all night long, and she racked her brains and couldn't figure out why her father suffered from this disease.

In fact, these are not the worst, Zhao Xun remembered that once when she came back from work, she just pushed open the door, and just saw her father standing at the window, one foot seemed to be about to stretch out.

Zhao Xun was very scared at that time, it was the kind of fear that even her soul was trembling, she didn't dare to continue to think, if she hadn't come back at this time, she couldn't imagine what would happen next.

Zhao Xun only felt that the scenes in the rainy night that day were constantly being replayed, replayed, replayed, replayed, replayed, replayed......

Zhao Xun didn't make any sound, she was afraid of alarming her father at the window, in case her father was a little careless, he would be miserable, Zhao Xun tiptoed over, and went up and surrounded his father from behind, and this time his heart fell into his stomach.

Unexpectedly, my father came to say:

"What's the matter, it's getting dark, I'm going to close the window!" When his father spoke, he looked very cute, and he was as aggrieved and helpless as an angry child, and Zhao was speechless at that moment.

Later, in order to avoid the same thing from happening, Zhao Xun simply found someone to install curtains on all the windows in the house.

A few days later, Zhao Xun took his father to the hospital and told the doctor about his father's condition in recent days.

After all, there is no sign of improvement in my father's body now, and the doctor said that the current drug treatment may not have any great effect on my father, and she suggested that my father be hospitalized immediately for various comprehensive treatments.

Since the distance between his home and the hospital is not very far, Zhao Xun negotiated with the doctor to be the same as now, not to be hospitalized, but to receive treatment one course at a time.

Like any imipramine, the western dings were used and there was no effect in the end, and later the doctor said to use "electroconvulsive therapy." ”

Doctors say electroconvulsive therapy is a quick and effective treatment that uses a certain amount of electrical current to stimulate the central nervous system to discharge, but you will not feel pain under the operation of a professional doctor.

Listening to this kind of treatment measures that made Zhao Xun feel scared, but there was no way, who let him have this disease, Zhao Xun could only accept treatment with his father.

In this way, her father's treatment began to unfold, working during the day and seeing a doctor on weekends, and then Zhao Xun found that she couldn't take care of her father at all, and she couldn't accompany her father for treatment when she went to work.

When she was at work, her father would have all kinds of inconveniences alone, and Zhao Xun was also afraid that what she was most worried about would happen, and she really couldn't explain it to her younger brother who was far away in Beijing.

Zhao borrowed some money from some colleagues who were good friends with the unit, so she found a nanny in 58.com, and her salary of 2,000 yuan a month included food and accommodation.

In the small city of Zhao Zhao, such a salary is already very high! She can use these to pay for her son's tuition, who is currently in college, or she can buy herself decent clothes, and even give her family a better life than before! As long as she helps Zhao find to take care of his sick old father!

After only a few days, Zhao Xun could clearly see the gray hair of his father's temples, Zhao Xun was distressed, Zhao Xun was sad, but ah, she said that she was not an almighty god after all, she couldn't cure her father with her own hands, and she couldn't suffer all this sadness on behalf of her father.

She could only watch her father slowly grow old like a meteorite, slowly slipping down......

That was the first time Zhao Zhao had such close contact with the hospital, and even if he was infected with a very serious cold, he would have to resist it, but he would only go to some small pharmacies nearby to prescribe a few boxes of medicine.

Zhao Xun always thought that poor people could not afford to go to the hospital to see a doctor, including her past, and her memory of the hospital was also formed at this time.

When her father was doing treatment, Zhao would go downstairs to walk around when she was upset, and every time she passed by the emergency department, she didn't know what happened to the women who covered their bloody eyes and then shouted CNM in their mouths, and she didn't know what happened to those who pushed out of the 120 ambulance;

She didn't know what the men who were crouching in the doorway and throwing cigarette butts all over the floor were thinking, she didn't know, she couldn't know.

This world is too big and too small for Zhao Xun, so big that she can't read everyone except her, so small that there are only a handful of people who can accompany her since she was a child, and she has seen very few landscapes.

Walk through the emergency department, walk through the internal medicine building, walk through the surgery building, walk through the obstetrics and gynecology and pediatrics building, and finally back to the outpatient building.

Looking at her father lying on the treatment bed, the pain of being slaughtered, Zhao Xun said that she couldn't feel it, this was what her father told Zhao Xun when he was awake.

Listening to the doctor's talk about the possibilities that might happen to her father, Zhao Xun didn't know how to answer, and she didn't have any questions to consult the doctor, so she just sat alone in the consultation room until the next patient came to urge her to leave the consultation room.

Zhao Xun didn't want to believe all this in front of her, she didn't believe why an old father who was still giving her hot milk one second became a person with severe depression the next second.

But when the diagnosis certificates and boxes of oral medicine were placed in front of her, she couldn't help but believe that all this was true.

It's like a smoker who can never smell the smoke on his body, and a drunk person can never say that he drank too much.