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Date...... November 6, 2009......

Friday

Time...... After 8 p.m.......

If you count the hurried farewell in the evening, this is the ninth time I've seen you, Xinyun.

……

When I walked in front of Xinyun, looking at her appearance, my heart inexplicably seemed to calm down quickly.

There is no confusion about how to speak at the beginning, and there is no confusion about what to say.

On the contrary, there is a kind of inexplicable peace in my heart when I see Xinyun. When I saw Xinyun, it seemed that even the fatigue brought by reading books seemed to have subsided.

I came to Xinyun, and my heart was settled and stable at this time.

The two of us stood in the middle of the pavement, facing each other, one step apart.

I looked at the person in front of me, and I hadn't seen him for many days.

My voice didn't fluctuate at all, I didn't say anything, I just said to Xinyun very softly: "Xinyun." ”

Xinyun looked at me in a daze from the moment she saw me, and didn't speak.

I looked at Xinyun, who didn't speak, and heard her breathing sound a little heavily, and I also noticed that her shoulders trembled slightly.

So, without thinking too much, I grabbed Xinyun's left hand and pulled her to the back of the bus shelter, I felt as if she was a little mechanically stiff.

I didn't let go of the little hand holding Xinyun because of this, because she didn't struggle except for feeling that she was a little straight.

Xinyun followed me all the way to the back of the bus shelter, where there was a stone pier table surrounded by several king coconut trees.

After arriving, I let go of Xinyun's hand and sat down first.

However, when I looked up, I found Xinyun still standing.

Xinyun still looked at me with straight eyes, and I stood up again and stepped in front of Xinyun in one step.

I looked at Xinyun and said with some emotion in my heart: "Did you run here?" Breathing so hard, let's sit down and take it slowly. ”

After I finished speaking, Xinyun still stood still looking at my face.

I looked at Xinyun for a while, looking at her as if she didn't listen.

So, I put my hands on Xinyun's shoulders, grabbed her shoulders and slowly pressed her down on the stone pier.

Then, I looked at Xinyun and said, "Sit down first, take a moment, okay?" ”

And I also went back to sit opposite Xinyun on the stone pier.

I looked at Xinyun and said softly: "Coming down from your dormitory to here, there is not a thousand meters but eight hundred meters, why are you walking so fast?" There are a lot of people on the road, and there are many cars, so why are you in such a hurry? It's not like I don't wait for you. ”

Xinyun turned her head sideways, stopped looking at me, and didn't speak.

I looked at Xinyun's appearance, thought about it, and stopped talking to disturb her, so that she could calm down first.

So, I stopped talking, and the two of us fell silent.

The light shone through the gaps in the coconut leaves, and it was a little hazy, but I could still see Xinyun's side face, and she looked a little dull and unhappy.

About three minutes passed.

I looked at Xinyun and asked, "Xinyun, are you feeling better?" ”

Xinyun didn't answer me on the subject, she turned her face to look at me again, her lips moved, and she stopped.

After a while, she spoke, "What are you looking for me?" ”

I looked at Xinyun's appearance, and my heart was a little convex, but I still said calmly: "It's nothing, I just want to see you." ”

Xinyun lowered her head, and then said, "Oh. ”

I looked at Xinyun like this, and suddenly felt that what I said didn't seem to be comforting, and it looked like a bit of a blockage.

Then, half a minute passed.

Xinyun raised her head and asked, "Are you looking for me just to look at me?" ”

I thought about what I said to Liang Lin, to comfort Xinyun.

However, I don't know how to answer at this moment.

I thought about it, but I still said truthfully: "Well, I haven't seen you for a long time, I want to see you." ”

Xinyun looked at me and said in a somewhat hoarse tone, "Is that all?" ”

Originally, when I first saw Xinyun, my heart calmed down.

But now, seeing Xinyun's somewhat injured appearance, my heart is a little numb.

I don't know how to comfort myself, so I can only speak according to my heart.

I looked at Xinyun and said, "I haven't seen you for more than half a month, I want to see how you're doing." ”

Xinyun didn't answer my topic, but looked to the side, and she asked, "Ruan Min, are we still friends?" ”

When I heard Xinyun say this, I replied, "Well, of course it is." ”

After hearing this, Xinyun lowered her head, and then said, "But will we still be friends in the future?" ”

After I listened to it, I felt a little uncomfortable, who would be really happy and let go if I only became friends with the person I liked?

I endured my emotions and said calmly: "It's okay, we can't be lovers, we can also be friends." ”

Xinyun looked to the side, lowered her head and said, "Before, when I was working outside, those colleagues with me broke up with my boyfriend, and then they didn't say a word. Everyone also said that they couldn't be lovers, and they couldn't even be ordinary friends. ”

After I heard this, I felt sad in my heart, smiled bitterly, and said: "Others are others, we are us, and we are different from others." ”

Xinyun turned her face, looked up at me and said, "What's the difference?" I think it's all the same, we... Did you never contact each other again after meeting this time? ”

I felt a lot of depression in my heart, but I still said calmly: "No, as long as you want to see me, I will go to see you and find you." We haven't been in touch for so long, I don't know what to say to you, I'm afraid you'll be embarrassed. I didn't go to you, because I was afraid that you would be disgusted with me. ”

As soon as I finished speaking, Xinyun directly asked, "Why should I be embarrassed?" Why be disgusted with you? ”

I looked at Xinyun and said straightforwardly: "You have rejected me, I will go to you again, do you say that you are embarrassed or not, will you be disgusted?" ”

When Xinyun heard me say this, she lowered her head and fell silent.

I looked at Xinyun's appearance, thought for a while, and then looked at the stone table and said, "Actually, sometimes, I always think of you, that kind of scene, as if it was an emergency, unexpected." But every time I control myself from thinking about you. As for why, you also know that that night, you rejected me, you don't like me..."

Xinyun suddenly said, "Do you think that's how I don't like you?" ”

When I heard Xinyun say this, I looked at Xinyun and said, "Xinyun, my mind, don't you understand?" But you still rejected me..."

Xinyun said directly: "That's because you have someone else in your heart..."

I watched Xinyun say this, and immediately said, "That's in the past, since I met you, I rarely think of her anymore." And, from the day I said I was pursuing you, I hadn't thought of her again. On the contrary, I always think of you all of a sudden. ”

Xinyun didn't speak, and I looked at her.

I continued: "Actually, if you really want to compare, then in my heart, she just likes it to a higher degree. But you, Xinyun, you are different in my heart, I not only like it, I find that I am in love with you. But so what, I don't want to say, what's the point of saying this...... Xinyun, I like you to be happy. It's okay for you to choose anyone, as long as you're happy. ”

Xinyun said, "Do you think I'm having a good time? ”

I don't like to guess, I don't know how to answer.

Because in my heart, I never wish the person I like to have a good life with others.

As for whether I'm happy or not, I also want the person I like to be happy.

But it's hard for me to do that, wishing my loved ones happiness with others.

Because, that is not the atmosphere, but failure, and even more incompetence.

I didn't go to see Xinyun, I didn't want to see her expression, I didn't want to cause any more heartache, I fell silent.

Xinyun continued: "I know that you must have liked that person very much. I don't want to talk about others now, whether you let go of the person in the past or not, whether we are or not, we can't be like friends anymore, okay..."

I was silent, my heart was a little heavy, and I didn't know how to answer.

Xinyun seemed to be talking to herself, her voice was a little hoarse into my ears, her tone was a little hoarse, and she said intermittently.

"Do you know what I've been thinking about for so many days?"

"I'm wondering if you don't want to pay attention to me anymore..."

"I'm wondering if the two of us aren't in touch anymore..."

"I was thinking, or just keep it like this..."

……

"Why should I meet you..."

"Why do you care so much about me..."

"Why are you being nice to me..."

"Why do you say you're pursuing me..."

"You can't do it..."

……

"Why are you telling me those things..."

"I am very unhappy at the thought that you have someone else in your heart..."

"You won't say no..."

"You're not going to lie..."

……

"Why do you keep reminding me of you..."

"Every time I think of you, I don't dare to say it to others..."

……

"You've been ignoring me..."

"You're just a bad person..."

"You..."

"You don't really like me..."

……

I lowered my head, and when I heard Xinyun talking, I heard her choking voice, so I raised my head and looked at Xinyun.

I looked at Xinyun, saw her sad appearance, my throat was a little choked, and I said uncomfortably: "Xinyun, don't be sad, okay?" I'm so sad to see you sad. Actually, I miss you too. ”

After Xinyun heard my words, her emotions became a little intense, her tone became heavier and heavier, and her voice became hoarse and hoarse.

"You miss me?"

"You miss me, why don't you talk to me for so long?"

"You miss me, why haven't you come to me once?"

"Also, why don't you come when I have my birthday!"

When Xinyun said the end, she had already cried.

"Wooh. Woo..."

When I heard Xinyun say this, I couldn't answer in my heart.

Seeing her crying, my heart was even more uncomfortable.

Can I still say that?

"Oh, I don't want to participate because you refused."

Or, can I open my mouth?

"Because you refused to take me, can I still be embarrassed to go to you?"

"I still have the face to look like an ordinary friend, can I go to your birthday?"

I'm not someone else, someone else can do, and I don't want to repeat it to me.

I couldn't speak, I didn't dare to look up, I didn't dare to see Xinyun crying, because my heart hurt a lot when I saw it, but my heart was very uncomfortable.

Xinyun looked at me silently, and she began to cry and say in her original whining voice.

"I thought I didn't care about you anymore..."

"But when you called me tonight, I was suddenly so happy, I wanted to see you..."

"I know..."

"You have someone else in your heart..."

"You blame me for rejecting you..."

"But do you really like me..."

"You haven't been willing to talk to me for so long, you don't like me..."

At the end, Xinyun burst into tears.

"Ahh Ahh

I heard Xinyun's crying voice, and instantly raised my head, looking at her crying tears, my heart ached for a while.

I hurriedly said, "Xinyun, I'm sorry, it's me who is not good..."

Xinyun shook her head and said with a crying voice: "I don't listen! Don't tell me I'm sorry! I'm sorry, what's the use..."

After finishing speaking, Xinyun cried even louder, and tears were left behind.

Under the gap of the king coconut tree, the light came through, and I saw the tears flowing from Xinyun's face, hanging into two crystal tear stains as big as chopsticks.