～

That day, when I went back to my house, I had not yet gotten out of bed, and within 10 minutes, I vomited twice.

Sure enough, whether people are happy or sad, they are not suitable for drinking, and they still have to pay attention to it in the future.

I was not happy, I drank beer dry, one glass or two sips, and drank quickly.

It's uncomfortable because when I talk about the past, I naturally feel a little unhappy in my heart.

What's more, Xinyun's distrust of me at that time made me even more uncomfortable.

I used to like others, but I only liked them silently in my heart, and I didn't pursue expression.

But I asked myself, I was not the same for Xinyun.

I have known Xinyun for more than a month, and I not only think about her in my heart, but also take direct action, because I have always felt that it is better to act than to be moved.

From the rustiness when I first met Xinyun, and then it became a good feeling, and then I asked her to ask her out, and I wanted to see her every night on the National Day, and my good feeling became like, and like became a real pursuit.

I don't know where to start, and inadvertently, I have a joy in my heart.

However, it was still questioned, and it was too uncomfortable.

When I had finished throwing up, I lay down in bed, my head bursting, but I was very focused.

I said to the ceiling: "Forget it, I don't know where it started, it's already fateful, then forget it, before it started, it will be dispersed, and I won't want to think about it again." ”

When I finished, I closed my eyes.

Because I had a terrible headache, I relaxed my body, relaxed my tightened mind, and I felt my heavy body, as if I was paralyzed on the bed, and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

That night, I didn't even take a shower, and when I woke up, I picked up my phone and found that I had slept until after ten o'clock the next morning.

I slept for almost twelve hours!

Fortunately, college is not like high school, and there are no classes that morning, otherwise you will miss classes and be registered.

I didn't feel any swelling pain in my head, but the back of my head was a little cold, and I remembered that I hadn't taken a shower yet, so I went to take a shower.

By the time everything was ready, it was already past eleven o'clock.

During this hour, I will suddenly think of Xinyun.

Just the thought of it, I snuffed it out.

Since Xinyun really doesn't trust me, then I think the result is to become a classmate.

How long have you known each other, how long have you been along.

I don't see, I don't read.

……

Date...... ...... October 21, 2009

From this day on, I stopped the thoughts that sometimes popped into my mind from Xinyun.

I won't let myself suddenly think of Xinyun, so I let myself fall into it and continue to think about her.

And just like that, I was back in my own quiet world.

The only difference is that when I see those couples holding hands, I no longer think of the person I used to like, and I don't have that feeling of missing her.

But I don't want to contact Xinyun anymore.

……

Time passed, in addition to daily classes, self-study, and occasionally going to the football field to run, going back to the house to write a daily diary, day by day.

……

On October 20th, Xinyun announced that she rejected me. I started not contacting her anymore, not saying a word again.

……

On October 25th, the first Sunday, I clicked on the QQ on my mobile phone, glanced at Xinyun online, and didn't speak, I went offline directly.

When I was bored, I went out for a walk to relax myself.

Then, the next week repeats the days of school life.

……

On October 31st, the second Saturday came, and it was Halloween.

The foreign students on campus began their Western holiday celebrations.

That night, many cafes on campus were full of this big pumpkin and vampire's various costumes, and I was bored and went in to watch the show, and suddenly I remembered Xinyun and wanted to ask her to watch it together, but I thought that she had already rejected me, so I stopped calling.

For a moment, I felt bored and walked away.

……

Monday, November 2nd.

September 16th of the lunar calendar, Xinyun's birthday.

Since this first time, and every year since, it has never been forgotten.

……

At about seven o'clock in the evening, I received a QQ message from Liang Lin.

Lin Bao: "Xiaomin, what are you doing?" ”

I saw Liang Lin's call, and I wondered helplessly.

Me: "Outside." ”

Linbao: "Oh, it's been two weeks, why don't you go out with Xinyun." ”

I looked at the message sent by Liang Lin, and thought that you rejected me, and I didn't want to say anything positively, so I changed the subject.

Me: "Haha... Is there something wrong with you? ”

Linbao: "I'm fine, but today is Xinyun's birthday, why didn't I see you." ”

I saw Liang Lin say this, so I clicked on the mobile phone calendar and saw that today is November 2nd, September 16th of the lunar calendar.

I asked Xinyun, but she didn't go into detail at that time, only saying that it was the ninth month of the lunar calendar.

Me: "Oh, that's right. ”

Linbao: "Are you buying a gift, hurry up." ”

Me: "Got it. ”

Linbao: "Hurry up, we are here at the north gate, otherwise Xinyun was snatched away by someone first, don't be sad." ”

Me: "Hmm. ”

So, I put my phone down.

At this time, I was no longer in the mood to go shopping outside.

I asked myself, "Do you want to go over to your birthday?" ”

I thought about it for a while and vetoed: "Forget it, Xinyun didn't invite me." Besides, she has clearly rejected me, if I go over, such an abrupt thing, wouldn't it be embarrassing for the two of them to go over? ”

After I made a decision, I decided not to attend Xinyun's birthday.

Because Xinyun rejected me, and I am not a stubborn person, our relationship has not yet reached that point.

Then, I just turned off my phone.

Walking alone on the road, wandering aimlessly, thinking about my past, I will also think of the past pictures I knew with Xinyun.

As for what Liang Lin said, someone pursues Xinyun's matter, if she really agrees, then let her be, emotional matters, can't be forced.

In my mind, everyone should have a benchmark to consider.

If Xinyun likes someone else, what can I do to stop her?

If Xinyun likes someone else, why should I stop her?

However, I walked quietly on the street, but my heart was really not only very sad, but also sad.

Later, walking and walking, I passed by the Guilin Cultural Center Square and saw some gift shops.

I didn't think about it, so I went in and watched it.

I want to buy a gift for Xinyun, but what is the reason to give it to her?

In the end, I looked at it for a long time, but I still didn't buy it, and just left.

Because if Xinyun agrees to others, just like Liang Lin said, if she agrees to others' pursuits, I will buy a gift for you, and you will not accept it.

One night, I walked outside until my legs were sore before I came back, and I only sighed in my heart for Xinyun.

When I got back to the apartment, I turned on my phone and found that it was almost twelve o'clock.

There was also a reminder call from Liang Lin who called me and didn't answer.

I looked at the missed call, thought about it, and deleted it directly.

I don't want to think about it anymore.

I think I'm maybe I'm not good enough, but I've also really pursued Xinyun and haven't flinched, but she refused, so forget it.

In the end, I could only sit in the room and whisper: "Xinyun, I wish you a happy birthday, I wish you happiness." ”

Since then, it can be regarded as a farewell.

~

Ever since I made up my mind to forget Xinyun, I don't miss her anymore.

Even if I think about it by chance, I don't allow it.

At that time, once I made a decision, I was resolute, doing what I said, and retreating when I said I would.

Never, there is no hesitation to continue to drag the mud and water.

Every day, I read and study in class.

At dusk, I ran ten laps and eight laps around the football field, ran three or four kilometers, and was so tired that I sat directly on the lawn of the football field to relax, and then lay flat on the lawn.

No matter how many people are running around, no matter how loud the people are playing next to me, it can't attract my attention.

I lay quietly with my eyes closed, no feeling, only stillness.

I once heard the lyrics sing: "Put on your headphones, the world has nothing to do with me." ”

And I, as if I had returned to the state I had when I first arrived, began to be cold to everything around me.

I stopped paying attention to other people and started to isolate myself.

It's like covering one eye and keeping only one eye to see the world.

The heart is closed, like a bystander.

Later, I started to wear earbuds and listen to songs.

Walk down campus, down the street, or between classes, and bring earplugs.

Listen to all the quiet and comfortable English, the piano playing soft music, or the pure music that sleeps quietly.

I wore front bangs that reached my lips, covering half of my face, and even the door of my heart was closed, like a wanderer who didn't fit in with the crowd.

It's been more than two months, and I haven't talked to my classmates more.

Except for the female student committee member who was named, none of the other students could remember who was who, and no one else could see my hidden face clearly, only my appearance.

Every day in and out of class, it's not necessary, I don't care about anything else.

The quietest days of my life have come.

I don't miss anyone, I don't remember anything.

One person lives in a room, wakes up early and goes to bed early, quiet and silent...

Going out to eat alone is so simple that it is very casual to nibble on an apple...

Walking alone on campus, quietly listening to the sound of laughter...

A man sat on the stone steps on the edge of the football field, quietly watching the crowd walking back and forth in the football field......

Sitting alone in the last row of the classroom, only when the civil committee members read their names, after reporting the "arrival", they were silent...

One person quietly watched the teacher in the classroom lecture, taking notes carefully...

One person rested on the table, quietly listening to the noise of those classmates...

One person quietly gets out of class, comes quietly, and walks quietly...

Walking alone on the side of the road, watching the endless traffic ...

Walking alone in the park, passing through the crowded road, feeling the surrounding atmosphere...

One stood on top of the bridge, quietly looking at the scenery reflected on the water......

A man stands on top of a stone, feeling the touch of the pores driven by the wind...

Walking on the street alone, his eyes are no longer on the person, but only at the quiet eaves...

One person held a glass of lemon juice, quietly strolled through the downtown area, tired, thirsty to take a sip, and continued to move forward...

One person walked into the book city, looked at the rows of books, picked up the one he liked to read, squatted in the corner, and could spend an afternoon quietly...

A person came to the department store, looked at the dazzling array of goods, picked up the favorite food to take away...

One person came to the roof of the teaching building on the twelfth floor, quietly looking at the bustling and quiet night scene of the city, and the lights were on...

One person wears earplugs, only the music goes with him...

Walking alone, there is no direction, wherever you go, you go...

No greetings, no attention, no missing.

The heart is simple, the person is simple, and the life is simple.

It's like a newcomer.