【0801】

In this era, many of the confusion and pain in our hearts are not enough to be humane. Even when you want to look back at them, you find that the past can no longer leave a trace.

In this chaotic tide, I questioned myself, answered questions, argued, defended, hugged and cried every day. Every sentence is like a phantom, and every sentence is not worth saying a second time.

I think of the famous college entrance examination essay question of that year: walking in the vanishing. At that time, I was young, and I could only think of time, friendship, and illusory history. What a wonderful situation we are walking in today. Social consensus, civilizational identity, ideas and dreams, these unseen but tangible hard barriers, are slowly disintegrating and disappearing rapidly in our loud steps again and again.

When I look back, I can still see the ashes.

【0807】

Trapped by Typhoon Orz on Sumilon Island

So it was not seen as a whale shark, nor did it dive into the water

【0812】

I got up at four in the morning and planned to go out to sea to see the dolphins. Look outside the window, the lights on the road are on, and it is full of cars heading north. I found a red dress, sat on the edge of the bed, and suddenly felt very strongly that I was not me, but just a collection of absurd consciousness, a collection of empty inspiration and past experiences, which could dissipate at any time.

【0812】

In the early hours of the morning in the airport shuttle bus, the person in front of me was carrying a huge backpack and always bumped into me. I tried to dodge, but he didn't notice.

I can't help but think to myself, people carry a huge self-life, and it is as difficult to perceive the discomfort they cause to others as it is when they stand in a crowd with a large backpack on their backs.

【0816】

I slept until four o'clock at noon, and I dreamed that I was traveling in a place, and the garbage dump collapsed and I found that there were many graves underneath. A teacher who taught me sound effects told me it wasn't safe and told us to leave.

Everyone hurried back to pack their things. I wanted to find a few changes of clothes, and my parents were talking about living in a place where they were temporarily isolated and would have to bring some animals to keep them. Then in the outer living room, we discussed that the pool was small and could only hold one shrimp. I said that the pool is so small, and it is strange to see a huge crystal clear shrimp placed on the box, like a lobster. They left first with the car keys, and I didn't find my jeans, so I changed out of what I was wearing and rummaged around.

When I was looking for it, I saw a white rabbit squatting next to the clothes, which may be the alternative that my parents had picked up. When it passed by, it suddenly tilted its head in pain, and its head was torn out of shape, and it suddenly grew a little bigger.

Then it starts to make a faint sound like a person.

I panicked a little. The pants couldn't be found, the original jeans were full of water, and they couldn't fit in, and they struggled with it. I was going to keep looking in the closet, and the rabbit began to rattle and rattle louder and louder, and his voice became clearer and clearer, and he began to recite Tang poems.

Damn, it's Gao Shi's military service.

It sounded hilarious, but I was so panicked. The pants couldn't be put on, and the rabbit was in the corner painfully chanting out loud to the thistle Beikong looking back.

It was now the size of a dog.

I made up my mind to pounce on it and grab it, and throw it out with the back of the neck. It was so toothy that it wanted to bite me, and its voice was so loud that it seemed like a mixture of many children, and I was dizzy to hear it. I threw it out the door, it ripped off a piece of my palm, and it went into the crowd, and I was worried about whether it would be okay.

I went back to my room at this time, but I still couldn't find my pants, and I felt that I really couldn't go out without them, and I was very broken. At this time, a loud grinding sound was heard. Through the door, I saw that the living room was torn apart, and many long, ribbed legs were peeking out of the door frame.

Then I buzzed in my head and reacted: My parents put that prawn there!

Then I woke up with a scared face (expressionless

And solemnly decided to prepare an escape backpack in the future, and in case of emergency, you can run (.

【0819】

Sometimes I want to communicate with you about some personal creative difficulties, but I don't know if I can convey them.

For example, I often find myself not writing "bad guys". I feel disgusted by speaking ill of people, and thinking that someone is "evil" is also contrary to my notions to a certain extent. Personally, this attitude is probably not a bad thing, and it can be disguised when digging up specific characters. But when it comes to depictions that require them, this becomes a problem that needs to be overcome or remedied in other ways. This is not a philosophical discussion about the existence of pure evil, but rather a phenomenon: what the "I" refuses to see, what I do not want to accept, is an integral part of the story.

I sometimes think it's a matter of what's called "pattern," where our stories reflect the world of our everyday lives, and what we tend to portray is our comfort zone. If the author does not observe it with an attitude and courage that goes beyond his personal perspective, he will inevitably reveal a petty, narrow-minded, and unreal side.

What I can avoid in reality, I need to be confronted in my creation.

It is very interesting to say this, as if the world in my mind was an ivory garden, full of images of sublime, pure, brave and elegant people, who debated abstract concepts day and night, sacrificed themselves for the truth without pretension, and kept the blood stains on their clothes flowing beautifully even if they died—I don't think so! But occasionally, when I introspect, I do have to doubt it.

Of course, as creators, we have every reason to immerse ourselves in our own spiritual garden. Otherwise, the activity would be too tiring. Merely...... Alas, you see, this is me, and even when discussing abstract issues privately and quietly, it is difficult for me to say a word without hesitation. When creating an image of the opposite type of personality, it is inevitable that you need to break something with extra force.

When I'm writing lately, sometimes when I write about how someone speaks, I can't help but wonder: is this really "what a decisive person would say" or "what a decisive person would say in my opinion"? Because my own imagination is already so limited by my own experience! In reality and imagination, there are more walls that I didn't realize needed to be broken.

I finally got my driver's license out today, the center is very remote and I can't get a taxi, I take a black car home, the driver took a second passenger, and the man received a phone call and talked about some weather and moisture. The driver was very silent when he picked me up, and after listening to the phone, he suddenly buzzed and asked, "Miaomu?" ”

The man said, "Yes." ”

The driver said, "What type?" ”

He replied, "Arbor." ”

The driver sighed: "This line of work is all about subsidies." Then the two struck up a conversation.

I sat in the back and was amazed, not that there was anything special about the conversation, but the angle was very unexpected. Let me make it up myself, I can't figure it out. Alas, it's probably an example.

【0824】

6:31pm Wait at Pudong Airport

I have a cold these days, and I am always sleepy after taking medicine. I had a dream in the morning, and I couldn't remember it. I suddenly remembered it vaguely just now.

The background is to say that "my" grandfather was a zoologist, and when I was a child, I used to look out the window in the house at all kinds of rare birds that he only showed me. Many years passed, my grandfather died, and the birds became extinct.

One day I revisited, and the original house had been turned into a hotel with a sense of technology. Late at night, I suddenly saw all kinds of beautiful birds outside the glass window, all of which my grandfather pointed out to me. I couldn't be happier. Then suddenly the lights went out, and I realized that the images of the birds were all hallucinations of electronic light imagery. Then I grieved and wept bitterly.

【0825】

Steal a day from the Earth.

Woke up at two o'clock, very hungry and had a splitting headache. Sure enough, the jet lag monster didn't let me go. The room was full of cold medicine and four pieces of fish tofu, and lots and lots of tea. How much tea did I stock up?

I ate both cold medicine and fish tofu.

I feel like I'm a little dizzy in the United States.

【0827】

When I read books by people I like, I often have the feeling that it doesn't matter if we don't see eye to eye on this issue. Because the spirit we follow in essence is not contrary to it. This tacit understanding through time often makes me feel happy. On the surface, when I read these words, I could see the other person's quirks, bad habits, radical views, and even innate prejudices, which I did not agree with. But I know that these are not obstacles, and that in the higher places, there is always a place in our hearts that are connected.

【0829】

It's been a week since the start of the new semester, and I'm starting to feel like the script I've decided on is all water in my head.

It's not like I'm going to be able to do it orz

Seriously, I was blown away by myself. For the first time, I realized what it means to have an after-party, and if I can get it done, I'm really going to celebrate.

After doing MMS with difficulty, I spent all my strength and collapsed on the bed.