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Where are the deciduous people, a few layers of Hanyun Road.

……

In the dust of the world, I would rather love and hate.

Li Shangyin had not been exhausted by the fierce party struggle in the previous dynasty, so he would have expressed such a sigh, the wandering life and the lonely situation all linked him to the negative attitude towards Hongchen's desires. Actually, I'm the same.

Buddhism believes that the world is in the dust, and people are just dust. Li Shangyin thoroughly understood this truth, so he was able to face the honor and disgrace of his career with an indifferent heart. But I can't comprehend, I can't get out and stop entangling love and hate, perhaps, I have no chance with Buddhist Zen in this life!

With a smile on the flowers, the clouds are light and the wind is light, for people like me who can't let go of their obsessions, it can probably only be a wish.

The season of yellow leaves falling ropes, sometimes you can see the gloom, sometimes it is like spring, it is really difficult to distinguish the four seasons.

Although after I came back from Jianning, I sat in front of the desk as if I was seriously holding a book and watching, motionless, but in fact, it was not so much that I was reading a book, but that I was thinking about my own thoughts in the form of reading a book. And it just so happens that this heart is unwilling to be seen through by others. My heart has always been restless and anxious, as if there is an undercurrent surging up and down in my body, wave after wave of regret and sorrow.

Juxiang lit another lamp of sandalwood, and the calm and fragrant breath surrounded me thickly, slowly drifting upward, and I held the pages in my hand tightly and couldn't relax for a moment.

Ju Xiang said softly: "Second Miss went to see the princess during the day?" ”

I nodded, no matter how well I disguised it, the words that came out of my mouth could always reveal a few sad meanings, "I've seen it, everything has been explained clearly, and there is no misunderstanding." ”

Ju Xiang smiled and said: "It's good that the matter is opened, and the slave maid said that the princess would not do such a thing to deceive the second lady." ”

I chuckled, the smile on my lips before it could fade, and my eyes were already on Juxiang, "But the princess admits it." ”

The smile on Ju Xiang's face gradually dissipated, and she asked, "What did the princess admit?" ”

I said, "The princess said, she knows, she always knows. ”

Ju Xiang frowned, "How can this be?" ”

I lowered my eyes to look at the dark and smooth ground with a faint luster, I seemed to be able to feel its hardness on the human body must be a pain in the heart, "Your Majesty did not lie to me, it's just that I used to live innocently in the dream I constructed," A few wisps of blue ash leaked out of the transparent lampshade and floated on the ground, clean and bright like a mirror that can almost illuminate the clear outline of a person, and only a little dust floating on the surface will be very conspicuous, "At least Your Majesty didn't lie to me about this matter, at least this thing is true." ”

There seemed to be a hint of pity in Ju Xiang's eyes, maybe I was wrong, maybe I was too sensitive, but no matter what, I didn't feel comfortable in my heart, "Second Miss." ”

I ignored it.

After staring at the ground for a long time, his eyes seemed to be a white shadow when he looked at everything else, "It was this incident that easily shattered all the beliefs in my heart," his gaze swept over Ju Xiang, and whispered, "Don't look at me with such a look." ”

Ju Xiang was stunned, and hurriedly lowered her eyes and said, "The slave knows." ”

There was silence all around, and there was no sound, and even the twilight birds that used to chirp in the yard were now silent. I still sat alone in front of the desk, sometimes stirring a few wisps of light smoke from the golden incense burner of the Five Blessings in front of me, and the tentacles dissipated invisibly. Ju Xiang stood silently on the side holding the lamp, her eyes always looking at the ground, and she didn't say a word.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of someone crying outside the door, I frowned, raised my face to look at Juxiang, and asked, "Did you hear that?" ”

Ju Xiang came back to her senses and asked in a daze, "What?" ”

I pointed to the door, "Someone's crying outside?" ”

Ju Xiang thought about it, and then smiled bitterly, "It must be Ning Xiang hiding under the wall and being sad." ”

I was confused, "Ningxiang? Soon thought about it, sighed and asked, "Has Ning Xiang been like this since my brother left?" ”

Ju Xiang nodded slowly, "Yes," exhaled, "After the prince left, Ning Xiang washed her face with tears every day, but she was afraid that others would see the clues and involve the second miss, so she could only hide in no one at night and cry quietly. ”

I looked at Juxiang and said, "How many days have it been?" ”

Ju Xiang said: "Who said it wasn't? ”

I was puzzled and asked, "Ningxiang is like this every day, why haven't I heard it before?" ”

Ju Xiang said: "It's not like this every day, sometimes Ning Xiang is not on duty at night, and Ning Xiang is not cautious in just one place." ”

I lowered my eyes and smiled bitterly, "Why is she so troubled?" Shaking his head, "The two have already broken off, and there should be no more worries in their hearts, as she remembers in her heart, in the end, it is not herself who suffers, no matter how heartbroken she is, no one will care about her." ”

Ju Xiang said in a low voice: "Whether the slave maid looks at the second lady or Ning Xiang, I really don't understand that love is really so hurtful?" "If that's the case, the slave would rather never have it." ”

I asked, "When did Ning Xiang tell you about her?" ”

Ju Xiang said: "How can her stubborn son tell the slave? ”

I asked, "So how do you know?" ”

Ju Xiang smiled lightly, "The slave maid lives with Ning Xiang every day, how can she not see her thoughts?" Another sigh, "But they all know it but don't say it." ”

I nodded, "Indeed, it's really hard for you to not see it for so long with your cleverness!" ”

Ju Xiang said in a low voice: "The slave maid would rather not see anything by herself, so that she doesn't have to be sad and sad." ”

I took her hand and said, "It's hard for you." ”

Ju Xiang shook her head, "It's not that it's hard to be a slave, it's that I watched the second young lady feel sad, and I watched Ning Xiang's heartache, but I couldn't bear a little bit, and I had nothing to do." ”

I was embarrassed, and my fingertips trembled, "I can only bear it, there is nothing I can do, what I said is good." But it is we who should bear it, and you do not have to share in it. ”

Ju Xiang said: "Seeing the second lady like this, the slave would rather be alone for the rest of her life than be sad for a certain man." ”

I smiled and said, "You shouldn't deny all the love in the world because of me or because of the incense." Many loves are actually more happy and sweet than sad and desperate, and it is often said that holding the hand of the son and growing old with the son is also true. ”

Ju Xiang looked at me and asked, "But what the slave and maid see is not such happiness and beauty, but mostly complaining, cold, and thinking about things." ”

My eyes were warm, my nose was sour, but there were no tears to flow, and I said softly: "It's just that whether you see me or Ning Xiang, they are all unblessed people." ”

Ju Xiang said: "Impossible, the second lady is so kind, she must be the most blessed person in the world." ”

I opened my palm and looked at the three successive palm prints of different shades, "Maybe it's not here," and raised his eyes to look at Juxiang, "But you're different, your love will never be involved in such a huge network, you will definitely meet a lover who can hold your son's hand and grow old with your son." ”

Ju Xiang thought for a moment, "No, slave don't." ”

I asked, "Why?" ”

Ju Xiang said: "The slave maid thinks that Your Majesty, Ming Shizi and Shizi are already the best men in the world, and even they will make the second lady and Ning Xiang so sad, and it will not be better to replace them with others." And the slave has seen the pain of love, and is unwilling to commit to it anymore. ”

I shook my head and said: "Many things are not what you see, the background of the human heart is complicated, not to mention that when you get along with the three people you said, it is inevitable that there will be imperial power schemes hidden deep in the seemingly calm waves, and being with them seems to be bright and boundless, and the gold and jade are outside, but the feelings for them will never be just feelings." I thought that someone could get out of the mud without staining, but I can only see it clearly now, but no one who is mixed up in these disturbances can be left alone," looking at Juxiang with shallow eyes, I knew that she couldn't understand what I was saying now, "If you can meet someone who treats feelings simply and purely, then you are lucky." I haven't been able to meet it, I hope you can. ”

Ju Xiang smiled, "Second Miss said that she laughed, how could a slave and maid meet someone who couldn't even meet Second Miss, besides, the slave didn't even know when she would be able to redeem herself and walk out of the Yunnan Palace!" ”

I said, "Who can tell the fate of life." ”

Ju Xiang bowed her head and said nothing.

The whimpering sound in my ears was still there, and I glanced out the window, "It's not easy to condense incense," explained to Juxiang with a side face, "You go and take out a piece of jade pendant that I have in the splendid box." ”

Ju Xiang responded: "Yes." He raised his feet and walked quietly, looked for a long time, and walked over with a transparent red-colored mandarin duck jade pendant in both hands, "Second Miss, what does this mean?" ”

The mandarin duck jade pendant, which is like blood staining in it, is warm at the tentacles, and it was given to me by Wu Yao a long time ago. It was a day of peach blossoms, the sunlight was dazzling, but the petals were lined with brilliance, Wu Yao tore off this jade pendant from the five-color cat's eye gemstone jade belt around his waist and handed it to me: "In this life, I have no fate with Ning Xiang after all, you give her this jade pendant, and then bring a word." ”

I took it and asked, "What's that?" ”

He dusted off the petals that had accumulated on his shoulder, "Jiang Youyou, turn to stone, don't look back." ”

I only felt a sadness in my heart, "Ning Xiang has been taking care of me for a while, but I never knew that you were ...... with her"

Wu Yao smiled, "It's all over, we always played together when we were young, and gradually, we had a love for each other," sighed, "Forget it, since there is no fate to stay together, it's better to say goodbye earlier." ”

I nodded, "I'll bring you what you mean," think about it, "But, don't you think that's too cruel to Ning Xiang?" ”

He said, "Cruel? Shaking his head, "This cruelty is temporary, but if I keep hanging her, it will be true cruelty for a long time, and it will leave a lifetime of pain." ”

I asked, "Then why did you give her this jade pendant?" Do you think about things? ”

He smiled faintly, "It's a good acquaintance." ”

At that time, although I didn't quite understand Wu Yao's approach, I still agreed to Wu Yao. Later, I brought the words, but I didn't give the mandarin duck jade pendant to Ning Xiang. Because I feel that since Wu Yao said it so decisively, he shouldn't give the other party a trace of thought, so this jade pendant has been with me for two years. When Wu Yao occasionally came to see Ning Xiang in the name of looking at me, his eyes would always subconsciously wander on Ning Xiang's waist, and I knew what he meant, and when he didn't see what he wanted to see, the loss and disappointment on his face appeared like a cloud floating overhead, which couldn't be more obvious.

But Ning Xiang's words were very decisive, Xu was Wu Yao's sentence: "Jiang Youyou, turn into stone, don't look back." "Hurt your heart. I often wonder, if Ning Xiang saw Wu Yao leaving her such a cherished piece of mandarin duck jade pendant, would she still be so resolute?

It wasn't until this moment that I realized that Wu Yao didn't really want Ning Xiang to forget him, but just wanted to give Ning Xiang the close-fitting jade pendant to Ning Xiang through a reason, and told Ning Xiang: "I'm here, everything is up to you." "And I, however, insisted on depriving Ning Xiang of the right to choose. In fact, she was not decisive in the past two years, but there was an anger in her heart, she was angry with Wu Yao's words for two years. She never let go of Wu Yao.

A sincere relationship was ruined by me in vain. Wu Yao really misbelieved me at that time, he never doubted whether I gave something to Ning Xiang?

I glanced at Ju Xiang's jade pendant with a surging essence in her hand, "Give it to Ning Xiang, this belongs to her." ”

Ju Xiang didn't know why, "What? ”

I smiled and said, "You give it to her, and she will understand that although it is late, it should not be meaningless." I didn't give it to her at the time, because I wanted her to let it go completely. Today I realized that I was wrong, that I delayed her. ”

Ju Xiang didn't continue to ask, but responded, "Yes." ”