At that time, I insisted on a ridiculous attachment, and many years later, looking back, I realized how naïve and ridiculous I was at that time, but we are always growing up, and when we grow up, we always feel that our current self is naïve and ridiculous, this seems to be a cycle, and we can never wait for our mature self. But I always believe that what we are waiting for is that person, the person you were destined to be with a long time ago.

When Sun Keyi returned, I was sitting in the living room, watching TV cross-legged.

Aunt Employing quietly went over and said to Sun Keyi, "It's strange, I ate a lot of food that day, and I just watched TV and laughed, I said, don't invite the psychiatrist to come over and have a look." ”

Sun Keyi walked up to me and looked at me seriously for a while, and he called my name, "Qijun?" ”

I turned my head to look at him, smiled at him, and turned my head to watch TV again. He sat down next to me, put his hand around my head, made me look him in the eye, and he said, "How are you feeling today?" ”

I smiled and said, "Good." ”

Sun Keyi didn't speak anymore, he took out his mobile phone, stepped aside, and called my psychiatrist. Before the psychiatrist arrived, I fell out with Sun Keyi again, I think Sun Keyi has never treated me as a normal person, I scolded him, "You are sick, your whole family is sick." He kept calming my emotions, and he said, "Qijun, just take a brief look, maybe your situation is really improving." ”

He tried not to mention mental illness or anything like that, but the more he did this, the more uncomfortable I felt in my heart, and I said, "I don't want to look at it, I'm not sick, I'm normal, really, you believe me." I took Sun Keyi's arm and prayed to him. I repeated, over and over again, "I don't want to watch." ”

It was a man with a suffocating aura in his eyes, every time he said a word, I felt that he was tearing my heart open and dissecting, I was afraid to see him, but once I was emotionally unstable, Sun Keyi called him over, I hated him, and I hated Sun Keyi even more. When he came, he was dressed in casual clothes, without the previous sense of oppression, and I couldn't help but stare into his eyes every time he said a word, and he said, "What do you want most?" ”

I said, "I don't want to stay in this room anymore, I want to get out of here." ”

He whispered, "You just have to tell me what you want most." ”

I said three words: "Li Munan." ”

He said, "He's someone for you." ”

I said, "He's not one of mine, but I want to see him the most." ”

He said, "Okay." ”

When I went out, my psychiatrist said to Sun Keyi, "My advice in the past was not to let her be exposed to the things that made her sad, but now it seems that maybe the best way is to let her open her heart." ”

Sun Keyi repeated: "Open your heart? ”

The doctor nodded, "Yes, for example, let her meet the person she wants to see the most." ”

Sun Keyi was silent for a long time, and when he looked up again, there was a relieved look in his eyes.

After the psychiatrist left, Sun Keyi said, "Actually, he's not that scary, right?" He spoke softly, as if he was afraid that he would disturb anyone by speaking loudly.

I nodded, looking up at him, "yes, he's not that scary. ”

"Gentleman." Sun Keyi called me that all of a sudden, and every time he called me like that, I felt that nothing had actually changed between us, and he was still the same Sun Keyi who rode my bicycle to school every day.

"Hmm." I answered.

He said, "Do you really want to get out of here?" I looked him in the eye and struggled inwardly for a long time, leaving here meant that I was leaving him, but my answer was undoubtedly yes, I nodded.

He said, "Okay, then you have to take care of yourself." There was an inexorable choked sobs in his voice as he said this, and I avoided his reddening eyes and nodded again.

He stood there for a long time, and eventually, he came up and took me into his arms, and the hug seemed to hurt to the bone, and I couldn't breathe for a long time. When he let go of me, his clothes were wet, and it took me a long time before I realized that they were my tears.

I remember that morning, Sun Keyi drove me a long way, from the south of the city to the north of the city, and we didn't say a word along the way. But a thousand words were already in his eyebrows, and I knew that he was going to take me to see Li Munan, and I didn't feel the slightest bit happy.

The car stopped in front of an apartment, and I saw Li Munan in the distance, and he watched the car drive over and move a few steps forward.

Sun Keyi got out of the car first, and he walked to the trunk and took out my luggage. My legs were a little numb, and I didn't get out of the car after the car door opened, until Li Munan took my hand and helped me down.

I walked up to Sun Keyi, took the suitcase, and said to him, "Thank you." When I took the suitcase, Sun Keyi's hand trembled obviously, and I stiffly took the suitcase and stood beside Li Munan.

If there was a camera at this time, the picture it captured should be that Sun Keyi was alone against me and Li Munan, and no one could see through what was in the eyes of the three of us. Soon, a smile appeared on the corner of Sun Keyi's mouth, but that smile was more uncomfortable than seeing me cry. He said to Li Munan, "I didn't expect this sentence to be the second time I have said it to you, take good care of the gentleman." ”

Li Munan said: "I remember the first time you said to me, there was a sentence at the end, 'Otherwise, I will take her away immediately'." ”

Sun Keyi said, "This time, I don't have this opportunity. After finishing speaking, Sun Keyi turned around and got into the car. After the car started, it took a cloud of dust and flew away.

After Sun Keyi left, Li Munan took the suitcase in my hand, smiled at me, and said, "Go up first." The feeling of my passing of his still lingering on that day saddened me, so my brow furrowed unconsciously.

The apartment where Li Munan lives is not big, but it is more than enough for two people. Li Munan put my luggage into the room, I glanced around the apartment, and sat awkwardly on the sofa, where the feminine characteristics are not obvious, but there are still some traces of women's lives.

The first thing I asked Li Munan was, "Miss Cheng." ”

Li Munan sat next to me, his body stiffened for a few seconds, and he said, "We have long been separated. ”

I didn't understand what he meant by 'already', and a cold breath flowed through my body.

Li Munan saw that I was uncomfortable, and he diverted the topic, "Have you had breakfast?" ”

I nodded, Sun Keyi asked the aunt at home to cook for me every day, and I could eat a lot when I had a good appetite, but I was not in the mood to eat most of the time during that time, and even went on a hunger strike to torture myself.

Li Munan also nodded, without the following, the feeling between us is not what it used to be.

In the past, I used to change my tricks to find a topic to chat with him every day, but now, I don't have that kind of interest, and he, maybe he hasn't changed, it's me who has changed.

When I lived in Sun Keyi's apartment, in addition to my mother, I also appeared in my dreams every day with Li Munan lying on the hospital bed, and I imagined his pain, his uneasiness, and the pain in my heart was no less than seeing my mother lying in the cold morgue. That kind of pain makes me want to see Li Munan all the time, even if it's just to look at him, but after seeing him, I start to be greedy again, I want to keep watching him to ensure that he lives in this world healthy and safe.

Now, he was sitting in front of me, complete, with a smile on his face, and my heart suddenly relaxed.

Maybe I stared at him for too long, Li Munan smiled uncomfortably, and he said, "Let's go out for a walk." I nodded, I didn't know where he was going to take me, but I still followed him without hesitation, Li Munan entered his room, he took out a travel bag and simply packed a few clothes and various documents, and then went to another room to take out my suitcase. I didn't know what he meant by walking, I thought it was just walking around. Looking at me in a daze, Li Munan came over and took my hand, and he said, "Go out and relax." ”

I said, "Okay." ”

Li Munan and I embarked on a two-month trip, from Hugu Lake in Lijiang to Jiuzhaigou in Sichuan, to Xitang Ancient Town, and finally to the Potala Palace in Tibet.