If I could go back in time, I would like to start over. Some people say that this is childish, and obviously I know that it can't happen, but don't you imagine it? I've seen a report that a post has more than 900,000 hits in a week, and that post has only one sentence: I'm going back to 1997, goodbye friends. And then the people who followed the post all expressed their thoughts.,Some let this person talk.,Some let that person talk.,This reflects a kind of helplessness and regret for some kind of regret in the past years.,Have you ever had? So, all I can say is that I'm willing to start over. And this can't be a fact, we can only cherish what we have now and be kind to everyone around us.

I had a thousand strange dreams, but none of them came true in reality, and I would wake up inexplicably in the dream, and then look around at the darkness, turn over and fall asleep. I've watched a movie, I have a lot of feelings, I didn't say it, I forgot about it, I drank a lot of wine, I met a lot of people, I forgot when I woke up, I still don't know it next time, and then I will introduce it anew. The point is, we don't care, if we really want to do it, it's better to take action.

Loneliness is so deep in the bone marrow that it makes people tired, and I am so tired that I don't have any life. Yuan Jie called me and asked me to go to her office. I simply cleaned up my self for a few days and went to her office.

"Did you miss me?" I pretended to look at Yuan Jie deeply.

"Speak well, is there such a thing as a teacher?" Yuan Jie's face was serious.

The atmosphere suddenly became cold, and I knew that not only myself had changed, but Yuan Jie had also changed. I couldn't lean on her unscrupulously in front of her, so I asked her, "Oh, Mr. Yuan, what are you looking for me?" ”

"The school sent a notice of spring recruitment, I'll show it to you." Teacher Yuan also said seriously.

"Okay, I'll take a look, can you take this back and see it?" I don't want to spend any more time in her office.

"Yes, I have a copy here, you can take it back and take a look." Teacher Yuan looked at me.

I said goodbye to Yuan Jie, although I thought that there would be a lot of words to be able to stink and be poor with her for a while, but when I turned around and walked out of her office, I realized that many words could not be poor anymore.

Back in the dormitory, I looked at this conscription notice. The circular said: Recruiting college students to join the army for the benefit of the country, the army, and the people is a major policy decision of the party and the state to focus on the development of the times and to achieve long-term peace and stability in the country, a strategic consideration for improving the structure of the military and building a world-class army, and an excellent way for young college students to grow into talents. In order to encourage college students to join the army, the state and the army have formulated a series of preferential policies to ensure that college students and soldiers will gain in their growth, make political progress, help their development in the future, enjoy preferential treatment in graduate school entrance examinations, benefit in employment, and be given strong economic treatment. The main advantage is that during the period of active service, under the same conditions, soldiers who have graduated from colleges and universities are given priority in the selection of non-commissioned officers, the examination for military academies, and the placement of technical posts. During their active service, college and university students may participate in the selection and promotion of non-commissioned officers, the escort of outstanding soldiers to admission, and the entrance examination for military academies. In addition, fresh graduates of colleges and universities will participate in the national master's admission examination within 3 years after retirement, and the total score of the preliminary examination will be increased by 10 points, and priority will be given to admission under the same conditions. There is also care in employment, and in the army, they also enjoy economic benefits such as allowances and salaries, family benefits, etc.

In general, the treatment of college students signing up for the army is still very favorable. I have had a dream of being a soldier since I was a child, and I regretted not applying for a military school during the college entrance examination. Unfortunately, I can't turn back the clock, and in my current situation, I simply read the notice and put it in the cabinet.

The moment I opened the cabinet, I saw the toiletries inside, full of blue. These are all things that Yang gave me when I first came to Shijiazhuang, a blue toiletry basket, a blue toothbrush cup with a Virgo pattern printed on it for several years, a blue soap box with Shu Fujia blue soap, and a blue towel that has not changed color after changing several times. I thought I'd fallen into a kind of blue shackles, and I couldn't extricate myself. Looking at these things, the dimming of my eyes and the obscurity of my past.

If people are accustomed to a life, it is difficult to try to change, or afraid of change, just like the computer program, the response is slow, unable to keep up with the rhythm, like a virus to blame, but we are not easy to reinstall the system, because of adaptation, because of habit.

I was bored looking at the hurried passers-by in the Sina blog, and a name attracted me. She called "cut his wrist and let him flow out". The style of the web page is typical of non-mainstream decadence, and the text reveals a dark story, sad and poignant. We chatted in the message area, she said that she was going to come to Shijiazhuang to find the hero of her story, and I happened to be in Shijiazhuang, so I told her that she could come to me, and I entertained her.

When I first met her at the Shifo Bus Station, she was standing on the side of the road waiting for me, and I looked at the woman with an exploding head and wearing a black dress from a distance, a bit like a character in a typical non-mainstream picture on the Internet, maybe she also has tattoos on her body or something. I stepped forward and looked at her with some surprise at the lip rings at the corners of her face and the thick dark circles under her eyes, which completely subverted my perception of her from her words.

"Hello, who are?" I timidly said something to her, and suddenly forgot that I didn't ask her name after I met her, "I'm Yungu Tingfeng." ”

"Oh, I'm slitting my wrist." She stared at me in surprise with her eyes, maybe my image was beyond what she knew from the words.

We were both surprised at this first meeting, and then I asked her what her plans were, and she said that she was looking for a place to live for a while, and asked me to help find it. I asked her where she probably wanted to go, and she said cotton five.

Cotton five is the abbreviation of Shijiazhuang cotton spinning five field, is a factory and residential area mixed in a very large place, she said the location is more general, the specific location I don't know, I had to take a taxi to pull her to the cotton five, on the side of the road to find an intermediary, and then asked if there is a suitable house, let the intermediary take to see the house. The house is also looking in an old community, the building is relatively old, fortunately, the location is on the bank of the Minxin River, there is a small park outside, she is quite satisfied with such a one-bedroom house. I followed her and the agent from afar, and when she signed the contract, I put her suitcase in the room and went to the community to buy her some daily necessities such as water and toilet paper.

"Then you clean up your room first, I bought you some water, you can contact me again if there is anything, I have something to deal with temporarily, so I'll leave first." I found an excuse and left her rented house. I reckon she could sense that I didn't fit in with her.

After that, I didn't contact her, she didn't contact me, we were just friends on the Internet, and once it was reflected in reality, it was completely the fate of seeing the light and dying. Later, I looked at her blog and deleted all the posts, leaving only a name and a memorial. The encounter I was looking forward to, and all the curiosity I had before I didn't meet, all turned into regrets. For this passer-by in my life, I only remember the special name "cut his wrist and let him flow out".

If you can't turn back time, can you really let her flow out by cutting her wrist? If I could, I'd love to give it a try.