My feelings seem too complicated for Xia Yufei, and it can be said that they are also complicated for myself. I have my troubles, and she also has her troubles, and this common point brings us together and produces a tacit understanding. This tacit understanding may be based on the gray and negative emotions in my heart and her, and some of the same feelings will bring us closer.

Many girls are very willful, and their little temper, small ideas, and small personalities seem to be much more disobedient than boys, so I don't know when "willful" seems to have become a special term for girls. Xia Yufei said that she was also willful.

Some people in the world are naturally extremely insensitive to direction, obviously very strong in any aspect, but there is no way to take the direction, after a long time, getting lost has become a habit, so it becomes road blind. Xia Yufei said she was also road blind.

Childhood memories have made her form a lot of bad habits, such as expressions and postures when sleeping, and some mindsets. She doesn't want to do this either, but I think "freezing three feet is not a day's cold", and it is really difficult to change. She always used to take the stairs on the side of the wall when she went up and down the stairs; When walking at night, you will be afraid of the bright light around you; Every time she drank water, she washed the cup from the inside out, even though it was the one she used every day. She is very willful, but also stubborn, obviously crying, but will stubbornly say: "No! ”

This is her self-introduction, a collection of contradictions, a "problem girl" full of contradictions. And I've always felt like I'm a contradictory apocalypse, so I think she's very similar to me.

I walked into Xia Yufei's life, she seemed to trust me very easily, and in her eyes it seemed that I would never hurt her or lie to her. Indeed, I have nothing to deceive, I am relatively more sincere in my calmness, I can play if I can, and I don't have to deliberately accommodate anyone if I can't play. I felt sorry for the smile in her smile and the forbearance in her eyes, she understood my curiosity about her, and that's all.

Zhang Hucheng came to Shijiazhuang. The last time he came, it was two years ago, when he took his girlfriend back to Hengshui after school, he took a turn in Shijiazhuang, and that time Yuan Erye, Wei Lao Er, and a group of us entertained him. This time he came, and only me and Liu Qingchao were left in Shijiazhuang.

The three of us drank at a restaurant next to the monument at the train station, which was kind of a pick-up for Huzi. The place where he works is the Pacific Insurance Company in the Zhongcai Building on Xinhua Road next to the monument, and he lives in the company, in their manager Jia's office, and when Manager Jia gets off work, he goes to rest.

After three rounds of drinking, blowing all kinds of, the three of us drank a lot of wine. Liu Qingchao had something to do at school, so he went back first. I walked along the streets with Huzi, along the train station all the way to the west, to the east and to the Xinbai shopping mall.

At night, the roadside was full of stalls, and as soon as I walked to the door of Donggou, I saw a familiar figure, squatting on the ground to tidy up the stall, and a man next to him was selling their coral velvet blankets.

That figure is Xiao Dong.

In the crowd of people coming and going, I stood three meters away from her, and my heart was mixed. I don't know what Xiao Dong and I experienced after they separated, why did she appear in this place at this moment, shouldn't she go to Kunming and start a family? Why do you come to set up a stall and have no work? Who is this man, he doesn't look like a soldier, and so on, let me spin around. Huzi saw that I was fascinated and thought that he was going to buy the coral velvet blanket, so he was ready to go up and ask the price. I grabbed him and pulled him away a few steps quickly, and he didn't understand what was going on.

I told him that the woman selling coral velvet blankets was Xiao Dong. He looked at the woman I had told him about, and sighed. We looked at Xiao Dong from afar, the two of them shouted business, introduced products to people passing by, the man took a kettle for Xiao Dong and asked her to drink some hot water, the two of them were very warm.

I thought it might be the simple and happy life she was pursuing, but I didn't give her the courage at the time. A burst of heartache, a dull pain in the chest.

I didn't step forward, didn't say hello to Xiao Dong, and deliberately avoided Xiao Dong's eyes looking for buyers everywhere, wondering if she saw me. I could only stop and look at her a few more times, then pull the tiger and turn around and walk away.

When I passed by the Dalian grilled squid stall, I asked the boss for ten skewers, and let me put more chili peppers, and when I ate it in my mouth, I couldn't stop crying down. I squatted on the ground and convulsed for a long time. Huzi asked me what was wrong, I wiped the tears from my face and said to him, "It's so fucking spicy too!" ”

Huzi and I went back to his company and slept on a wire bed for the night.

The next day he went to work and I went back to school. Xia Yufei bought milk tea and picked me up at the school gate, which is my favorite chocolate flavor. We walked all the way back to school. Xia Yufei may have seen my tiredness and deliberately talked about her playing outside to relieve my boredom. I looked at her cautious appearance, and suddenly I felt lucky again! I don't want my exhaustion and evasion to keep us all in the deepest part of the gray, and I want to lead her out of this state, even if it's just half a step.

At dinner with Xia Yufei in the evening, she said that my hands were warm, and I hugged her. That moment of tranquility made me wonder if I should leave, should I give Xia Yufei a peaceful life, and I shouldn't get too close to her. So I started to just say goodnight to her in the evening, deliberately distancing ourselves between us. Even when we were together, I tried to avoid looking at Xia Yufei's eyes, I didn't want her to fall in, and I didn't want to hurt her.

On the weekend, Huzi came to visit my school, and I introduced Xia Yufei to him. She was very considerate of me, very considerate in her words and actions, and did not hesitate to drink a lot of liquor with us, but it turned out that she did not drink liquor. Judging from Xia Yufei's performance, I know that she has feelings for me. Huzi was looking forward to Xia Yufei being able to introduce him to a girlfriend, so he drank a few more glasses, and it turned out that the extra glasses of wine he drank were really worth the money.

I asked Xia Yufei what she hated, and she said she hated Friday the most. I said why? She said that every Friday, I always left in the morning and went to the city for a weekend before returning, and she would soak in the Internet café after listening class for half an afternoon, until I called, and it became almost a regular pattern every Friday. Both of them seem to be busy, and perhaps it is this busyness that can hide the emptiness and helplessness behind them. Maybe it's my uncertainty and lack of a clear answer that makes Xia Yufei often feel inexplicably low, inexplicably lost, and even inexplicably want to cry, she said that she doesn't like to wait. We didn't take half a step, but implemented a more obscure gray. Every Friday, I go to the city because the conditions of the Huzi unit are good, there is good food and drink, and the main thing is that it makes me feel less lonely.

It's Christmas again, the young handsome guys and beauties on campus are busy giving this person and that person apples, and the Ping An fruit on the side of the road is very good-looking, I want to buy a few to give away, but I don't think it's necessary, mainly it reminds me of Zhu Boyan and the first time that Christmas.

In the middle of the night, I sent a text message to many people with blessings, because they seemed to me to be my friends, and a few people did not give me back, which is normal, meeting new people, forgetting old friends, or forgetting not friends, are all passers-by.

Xia Yufei will also say that she has changed a lot from her previous self, which may be related to my contact, her life is no longer melancholy and lonely, and suddenly there are a lot of colors, I am very happy that she can have such a change in her heart.