Walking home from the unfinished building, groggy all the way, the early winter weather has been a little cold, I am most afraid of this kind of seasonal weather, I wrap my coat tightly around my body, recently because I have eaten too little and rested badly, I have become a little thin, the whole coat seems wider and wider, in order not to let the wind come in, I can only hold the collar with both hands, trying to warm myself up.

As soon as I entered the house, I saw my mother, who was feeding Little Cream and drinking water, and said to me, "Are you back?" We did well on the first day of school today, and the teacher said that the cream was great. ”

My mother kept complimenting me on the cream, but I didn't listen to anything, so I smiled awkwardly, "I'll go back to the house first." ”

As soon as I closed the door, I collapsed on the bed like a deflated ball. I closed my eyes and felt very tired, not just in my body, but in my heart, which swayed back and forth like a naughty child sitting on a swing.

I closed my eyes and heard the door being gently pushed open, and my mother pushed the door, "What's wrong, Feifei, what's wrong with Lin Jia?" ”

"No Mom, it's just that I'm a little tired from too many surgeries today."

"Since you're a little tired, then you don't care about the two children tonight, I'll take the two of them to sleep in the study."

I forced myself to sit up and said, "It's okay, Mom, you don't care." ”

"Oh, I'm fine, you see how sleepy you look." My mother said as she helped me pull the quilt away, "Are you hungry?" I'll make you something to eat in advance."

"I'm not hungry," I lay on the bed with my eyes closed and pretended to be sleepy, and then tears flowed down my eyes, and in order to hide my crying, I yawned and laughed at my mother, "You see I'm so sleepy that I'm in tears." ”

"Then you sleep for a while, and then talk about it when you wake up."

Mother turned off the light and left gently.

After my mother left, I began to check the infection process of AIDS and syphilis in the bed, the infection cycle, the entire window period, and the infection methods of everyone in various posts, etc., the more I watched, the more upset I felt, no way, I closed my phone, really rolled over and fell asleep.

When I woke up again, it was because I was awakened by the heat from sleeping in my clothes. I got up and took a sip of water, looked at my watch, it was 11 o'clock in the evening, I gently pushed the door and went out, the room was very quiet, at this point the two children were already asleep, I came to the bedroom, opened the door gently, heard the mother and the two children breathing evenly, and closed the door again and left.

I got dressed and had nowhere else to go, and involuntarily walked towards Vivien's bar.

At eleven o'clock in the evening, it was the time when the bar was doing well, although it was quiet, but it was still a room of people at this time, Vivian was singing, and today she still sang Faye Wong's song "The wind blows, the wind blows, the popcorn is so beautiful." ”

I found a place to sit down and asked for a cup of iced tea, the waiter was a little surprised, but didn't say anything, I didn't disturb Vivian who was singing on stage, I watched her sing quietly, after a few songs, Vivian was ready to get off the stage to rest, I got up and waved to Vivian "Here!" ”

Vivien smiled at me and walked over.

"It's not right to appear at this point, shouldn't you take care of the children at home?"

I took a sip of iced tea, the iced tea here is really iced tea, a cup of black tea has several large pieces of ice in it, and I shivered when I drank it, "My mother slept with the child, and I couldn't sleep, so I came out to skate." ”

"Got something on your mind?"

"Sort of, it's been a bit unlucky these two days."

"A few days ago, I took leave to take care of the junior, and I just went to work and pricked my hand with stitches, and after pricking my hand, I realized that this patient was not only syphilis but also AIDS. Then the whole person was depressed. ”

"What's so depressing, hurry up and draw blood, is it a blood draw to check."

"I've had blood drawn, it's fine, but because there is a window period, who knows if it's okay."

"Isn't that what kind of blocking medicine you can take?"

"Yes, yes, I've started taking medicine, and I've also started taking anti-syphilis injections, I hope it works."

"Don't be too pessimistic" Vivien lit a cigarette and motioned for me to smoke or not, I shook my head at her, it was better to be careful at the bar at night, so I didn't want to be so presumptuous, so Vivien continued, "It's the truth now, what do you say?" If you are not happy, your family will definitely not be happy, because you will definitely not tell them about this and make them worry, and it is not a matter for you to think about it all the time, and the whole person is easily depressed. ”

"So what should I do?" I asked angrily.

According to me, "Eat, drink, and relax, because everything that needs to be done has been done, and then it can only be left to fate." You just cried to death, and you can't go back to the past now, so that you won't be stabbed. ”

I nodded, having said that, I still felt quite awkward.

"I understand, it's all pale, after all, the needle didn't pierce me, and if it did, I would definitely have to blow up my hair, but Li'er is indeed such a li'er, you are irritable and your anger will not help. I've taken the medicine and I've got the injections, so there's nothing you can do to work hard, right? ”

I didn't speak, I was very upset. After drinking iced tea, he said goodbye to Vivien and left the bar.

Unconsciously walked to the door of the hospital, and simply went upstairs to see Lin Jia.

When I went up, it was the shift and no one opened the door for me, so I sat in the patient hall and waited. I've never been so helpless and don't know who to turn to, and it's useless to ask anyone if you think about it.

I want to talk to someone about my sadness, but when everyone opens their mouths, I feel very annoyed. I don't want to listen to the comforting words that I don't have.

At this moment, the door opened, "Xia Fei, come in." ”

I changed into an isolation gown and went into the ICU.

Lin Jia was still motionless on the bed, I held Lin Jia's hand and didn't speak, for fear of disturbing him who was sleeping. The scars on his face have healed, and even the wound in the abdominal cavity has recovered well, but when will Lin Jia wake up.

Every time I get to this time, I will deeply feel infinite frustration, why this year is so unsmooth, how can I put the life process like this, everyone looks clear, and I am the only one who is overwhelmed by the pressure of survival.

Thinking of this, I put my head against Lin Jia's hand and cried quietly. Lin Jia, I hate you, it's you who let me not destroy my original stable life, Lin Jia, I hate you, how can you treat me like this, keep saying that you love me, turn around and cheat on me behind my back.

Once there will be a second time, I don't believe that he and Feng Nannan will be hit at one time, I don't believe that they haven't met later, thinking of this, I am furious, I can't control my emotions at all, I seem to have forgotten that I am in the ICU at the moment, Lin Jia is still a patient, I tugged on his shoulders hard, and yelled, "You get up, you wake me up, I hate you, you stand up for me!" ”

Because of excessive force, the tracheal intubation interface was disconnected, and the ventilator sounded a piercing alarm, I was still immersed in my own world, yelling at Lin Jia over and over again, and the nurse who heard the sound hurriedly came in to pull me away, and placed Lin Jia properly, fortunately, the whole process only lasted a few seconds, and did not cause much harm to Lin Jia.

Nurse Miao Miao said, "Fei Fei, what's wrong with you." ”

I didn't say a word, staring at Lin Jia, who was lying on the bed not far away, still as if he was asleep.

"You do this, what if something happens to Lin Jia?"

Hearing this, all the grievances came, what should he do if something happens, who ever thought about what if something happened to me? With tears in my eyes, I said, "I just looked at him and felt bad." ”

After speaking, he left the ICU without looking back.

vertex