Chapter 207: Self-Redemption
I put my head on my knee again and burst into tears.
Jing Xin couldn't predict how far things would go, and she was afraid that if she called the head nurse again, I would have an emotional breakdown, so she comforted me and said, "Xia Fei, I'll go to the toilet, I'll come soon." ”
Hearing Jing Xin's footsteps leaving the equipment room, I stood up, my eyes wandered, and I whispered in my mouth, "This is not me, I don't want me like this, I should redeem myself, no one can save me, I want to redeem myself." ”
I moved to the sterile room. The No. 23 blade was taken out from the cabinet, and the blade was skillfully but slightly trembling.
"No one can save me, I want to save myself, I want to redeem myself, I'm in too much pain, take me away, I want to redeem myself."
I slashed the blade my wrist, and soon I saw that the skin was cut open, and the subcutaneous fat layer was exposed, I am a person who is particularly sensitive to pain, on weekdays, I have to take painkiller injections every month to relieve pain, but at this moment, I didn't feel pain, nor did I feel the pleasure of scratching the skin, but it made my chest even more breathless.
I paddled down the radial artery again, only to hear a shout of "wow" from the trainee who was about to come in to get something, and then kept backing and shouting "kill, kill, kill, help." ”
Jing Xin, who was not looking for me in the instrument room, heard a voice, ran to the sterile room with an arrow, saw the blood splattered on the ground, looked at the skin that was turned open at the wrist, and hit me in the face with a loud slap.
"Xia Fei! What are you doing? Jing Xin wanted to fight again, but was stopped by Haozi, "She's crazy, are you crazy too?" Get gauze and stop the bleeding. ”
Haozi took out the gauze from the cabinet, tore it open, and immediately covered my hands.
"I'm not crazy" I looked at Haozi seriously holding my hand, "I'm really not crazy. I said to him seriously, "Haozi, I'm not crazy. ”
"Shut up, my aunt."
"Haha, you don't believe me, I'm not crazy, I'm really not crazy. I took medicine in the morning, I took medicine in the morning, I also took medicine last night, I took medicine, I took medicine, I really took medicine! I broke free of Haozi's grasp.
"I took medicine, I took medicine, I took betalux, I took oxazepam, I took paroxetine......." I reported a string of drug names "Why, why, why am I still so irritable, why am I still so sad in my heart, I can't stand it, let me die." ”
I squatted on the ground and pulled my hair and cried, although Jingxin and Haozi wanted to step forward to stop the bleeding, but when they saw me like this, neither of them dared to move.
Until the director came, "Haozi, hurry up, go and smoke two imidazoles, hurry up." ”
Jing Xin went to get the liquid, pushed her down later, looked at her, and let her calm down first.
"Xia Fei, Xia Fei?" The director called me tentatively.
I couldn't seem to hear it, so I kept saying, "Let me die, let me die." ”
The head nurse, Jing Xin, and Haozi rushed to the front and back, two of them pressed me, one of them stopped the bleeding for me, and one of them pushed the medicine for me.
Gradually, I felt very tired, a little tired, my eyelids were a little heavy, but my mouth was still saying "Let me die, let me die, I'm so sad." ”
Gradually the voice gradually became quieter, on weekdays, the patient induced anesthesia to anesthetize one imidazole, in view of my long-term use of psychotropic drugs, the director gave me two, sleepless all night, and tossed for so long in the morning, plus the effect of the drug, I finally couldn't support it, and my body fell to the ground weakly.
"Quick, take her to the operating room and take care of the wound first. Has Lin Jia notified? The director asked Jing Xin.
"Not yet, she didn't let me shout just now, for fear that she would do something stupid, so I didn't dare to shout."
"Inform Lin Jia, Lin Jia may have to come for follow-up treatment, see which doctor is free at this time, let me see if the injury on the wrist is important, and see if the artery is injured."
Several people pushed me into the operating room, because of the use of midazolam, so Haozi watched me in the operating room, the head nurse went to find the doctor, and Jingxin went to call Lin Jia.
"It didn't hurt the artery, but it was so deep, you had to get stitches, did you wait for Lin Jialai or .......?"
The head nurse was discussing the wound on my wrist when Lin Jia came in through the door.
"You're here, it's great, she's sleeping now, you see, is this wound sewn?"
Lin Jia gently touched my forehead with his hand, "I'll come." He said to the head nurse in a hoarse voice, "Thank you, you can go and get busy, Jingxin, if you don't have surgery, stay and help me." ”
While speaking, Lin Jia washed his hands and put on gloves, and when he was numb, it still hurt, I "hissed", frowned, woke up, and wanted to get up, but I heard Lin Jia's voice.
"Don't move." I looked at Lin Jia a little embarrassed, and immediately lay down and didn't say a word.
Haozi and Jingxin looked at me, but because Lin Jia was there, they didn't speak, I lay on the operating table with my eyes closed, and didn't say a word.
Soon, the stitches were over, and after Lin Jia wrapped my wrist for me, he disinfected my wound last night with iodine.
"Jingxin, thank you, please go out first, I have something to say to Xia Fei."
Hearing this, my heart tightened, I didn't know what Lin Jia would say, and then I heard the sound of the electric door opening, and Jingxin and Haozi left gently.
"Fifi." Lin Jia said in a hoarse voice, "What are you doing here?" ”
I was still lying in bed with my eyes closed and refusing to speak.
"Do you have to make our house feel good if it's not home?" Lin Jia's voice trembled a little, and he could tell that he was a little angry.
"Fei Fei, are you so unhappy with me?"
"Why do you have to hurt yourself again and again?"
Saying that, Lin Jia covered his face with his hands and cried, "Why? Why did living well become like this? ”
I turned my head, looked at Lin Jia, and said weakly, "Lin Jia, I'm so tired, I want to sleep so much, I want to fall asleep and never want to wake up again, I'm so tired." ”
Lin Jia covered his face, I could see the blood vessel on his forehead jumping suddenly, Lin Jia didn't speak.
After a long time, Lin Jia wiped his face and handed his hand to me, "Let's go." ”
I looked at Lin Jia pursed his lips and didn't speak, and obediently got up and walked out with Lin Jia.
Lin Jia went to the head nurse's office to thank the head nurse, pulled me downstairs, we walked into the garage, Lin Jia fastened my seat belt for me, kicked the accelerator, and left the hospital, during which he didn't say a word to me.
Soon, the car drove into the mental hospital, and my brow furrowed, "I'm not sick, I don't need to come here, what are you bringing me here for?" ”
Lin Jia didn't speak, and turned into the courtyard in the direction.
"I ask you, what are you bringing me here for?" I even began to ask angrily.
"Let's go see Zhang Teng."
"See what Zhang Teng is doing? I'm just a little anxious, why are you bringing me here, you're going to throw me in the hospital and lock me up, aren't you? That's what you think, aren't you? Instantly, blood rushed into his brain, his brain spun rapidly, and he thought of many things, "Are you going to send me in and find a woman again?" There's just no reason to divorce me, it's good now, I'll make you a wedding dress and give you a chance, right? ”
I angrily unbuckled my seatbelt and said, "Drive away!" I'll tell you to drive away, and if you don't drive away, I'll jump out of the car. ”
Hearing only a sound, Lin Jia locked the car, then held the steering wheel with one hand, took out the phone with the other, and prepared to dial.
I angrily shouted at Lin Jia, "I'll let you stop!" ”
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