After lunch, my mother put me to sleep, and before leaving, my father patted my hand, "Let's go, child." ”

I nodded to my father and went out with Lin Jia. Before I knew it, it was late autumn, and my favorite thing in the past was the autumn season, but this year it made me feel very cold, and as soon as I went out, I involuntarily pulled my collar and shrunk my neck. Lin Jia held my hand and whispered, "Why are your hands so cold?" I shook my hand away and said coldly, "Let's go." ”

I didn't say anything all the way, and when I returned home, I saw that the originally warm home was now as cold as an ice cellar, and I suddenly felt that Lin Jia's proposal to me was still yesterday, why did I end up in such an unbearable situation today.

I went to Mango's room, covered my head with a quilt over my head, and decided to force myself to get a good night's sleep. No matter what, I still have children, and I have to live well and not drag myself down.

Xu didn't sleep last night, so this sleep was very heavy, in the dream I dreamed that I was sitting in Lin Jia's bedroom in a dress, Lin Jia suddenly knelt down on one knee and took out the box, took my hand and said, "Fei Fei, although I don't have enough money to buy you a real ring now, but please believe, I love you, I will make you happy." ”

This cardboard box contains a ring made of gold wire and plastic beads, and Lin Jia writes on the box that I will love you and take care of you for the rest of your life, marry me.

I held the box in my hand and hugged Lin Jia, "Lin Jia, I love you, I don't care if you have money or not, whether you have a house or not, I only care if you love me or not, whether you will be good to me or not, I just ask you to be good to me for the rest of your life." ”

"Fei Fei? Fifi? "Lin Jia woke me up and pulled me back to this cold world." What's up? ”

"No, it's okay, I heard you crying in the living room, so I came to see you" He stretched out his hand, and as soon as his fingertips touched my cheek, I turned his face away, "I'm fine, you can go out." ”

"Hungry or not? Shall I cook and eat? Lin Jia asked me to herself.

"Don't be hungry, you go out."

"What about the wound? Is it better? ”

"I'm not hungry, and the wound doesn't hurt, don't you bother, I'll ask you out." I exclaimed, frowning.

Lin Jia got up, and when he walked to the door, Lin Jia turned his back to me, "Fei Fei, I don't want you to forgive me anymore, I just want you to give me a chance to compensate you." With that, I closed the door, and I looked at the tear-soaked pillow, and I didn't feel sleepy anymore.

This sleep is not short, these days the schedule is completely disrupted, hungry to eat, sleepy to sleep, no concept of time, and I don't know night and day, such a day, when is the end.

I beat my dizzy head with my hand, walked out of the room, and saw Lin Jia, who was also not resting in the living room, "Since, since you haven't rested, then you can talk to me." ”

"Okay."

"Lin Jia, can you give me a cigarette?" If it was in the past, he would definitely be angry, but today he didn't, he took out a cigarette from the silver-white metal cigarette box and handed it to me, this cigarette box is a gift I gave to Lin Jia on Valentine's Day, that's right, I bought the lighter, and I bought the cigarette box.

"Lin Jia, do you know what I hate about you?" At this point I took a sharp puff of my cigarette, it was my first time smoking, and I was choked with tears by the sudden smoke. It turns out that smoking is so uncomfortable, but why does he keep smoking?

He handed me the tissue, patted me on the back, and went to pour me a glass of water. Looking at the still gentle man in front of me, I almost forgot that he had used the most cruel means to hurt me.

"Lin Jia I really hate you now, I hate you, I hate why you hurt me in this way, I hate you, why do you do this, you beg me for forgiveness, I hope to forgive me through my parents, but the more you are like this, the more I don't want to forgive you. I love you, I could have died for you before that, but now, how much I loved you then, how sad and how much I hate you now! ”

Lin Jia didn't speak, his head was lowered, like a child who had made a mistake. "You don't have to pretend to be pitiful in front of me, you don't have to stop talking, you don't think that if you don't speak, I can do anything, Lin Jia, what I hate most is your cold violence, I hate you when I love you, I hate you now, I hate you even more!" I knew my tears were coming out again, so I got up and wiped my face with my hand and stood in front of the couch.

"Why don't you speak, huh? Are you deaf? Can't you hear me? Do you think we're so funny? I have insomnia, I'm irritable, I'm anxious, I haven't been able to sleep well for a few days, I go to work and I hold my breath in my heart, for fear that something will go wrong again, the child can't be picked up at the mother's house, the work can't be done, Lin Jia, I tell you, all this is thanks to you! You ruined everything for me with your own hands! ”

I paused and took a deep breath, "You go and beg Mom and Dad, I hope they will convince me, I hope the two of us can continue, I ask you if we need to continue?" Okay, we don't get divorced, you tell me now, how to solve the problem? What about that girl? What about her children? ”

Lin Jia was still silent, my heart was blocked, and I quickly picked up the glass in my hand and smashed it at his head, the glass made a very muffled sound and fell to the ground and shattered. I saw blood flowing down Lin Jia's forehead, and he sat on the sofa still motionless, as if the person who was hit was not him, and as if he had become a statue.

I looked at the blood on his forehead and crouched on the ground and began to cry. I never wanted to hurt him, even if I felt uncomfortable, I slashed myself with a knife, and I never thought about hurting him in the slightest. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with us?

Lin Jia got up from the sofa, squatted beside me, and took me into his arms, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." ”

He rested his chin on my head and kept repeating those three words as if he were fascinated. Until my tears dried up and I couldn't cry a single tear anymore, I looked up, stroked the blood that flowed down my forehead to the corners of my eyes, and coagulated my cheeks, and said in a hoarse voice, "Sit down, I'll disinfect you." ”

He didn't speak, he sat back on the sofa quietly, I took out the medicine box from the medicine cabinet, took out cotton swabs, iodine solution, disinfected, bandaged. After everything was done, Lin Jia said, "Fei Fei, I never thought of hurting you, I never thought that I would make such a mistake, from the moment I decided to be with you, I knew that I had to marry you." I want to go through the rest of my life with you, and this time, I know it's useless to say sorry, but I still want to say sorry to you, because I don't know what to say except sorry. ”

While I was sorting out the medicine box, I listened to Lin Jia speak, "Feifei, give me one last chance, okay?" I'm going to get everything in order, and let's start over, shall we? Speaking of this, Lin Jia held my hand.

I looked him in the eye, then put the medicine box in the medicine cabinet and went back to Mango's room to lie down.

I admit that I don't want to leave Lin Jia in my heart, I hate him, but I also love him. I love so much that I hate myself a little bit. If it weren't for this little love, I wouldn't be at my mother's house today, and I wouldn't be coming back with him. But I couldn't cross the ravine, reassuring myself that nothing had happened.

God, help me, what the hell should I do?