Through self-report and various examinations, it was finally determined that I had severe anxiety and depression. The time spent in the hospital is boring and lengthy. It's like there's no end to the day. Because I no longer admit patients, Lin Jia is thinking about taking me out for a walk when all my patients are discharged.

Since the two of us got married, we went to Sanya, but because of work, we haven't been anywhere. Every day is the hospital home, busy with children, patients. It seems that he is always running for others, and he has no free time for himself.

The sudden idle life made me a little overwhelmed. With the influence of the drug, the insomnia disappeared, and with it there were emotions, without any sadness or joy. And with that comes sleepiness. Every day, I hid in the ward to take medicine and sleep. Zhang Teng said that it would be good for me to live as before, just treat it as a spiritual cold, and now I have to take cold medicine.

But I don't think it's that simple. Because I was discharged from the hospital after 2 weeks, I suddenly couldn't communicate with people. It seems that there is a deep chasm between me and everyone, and it seems difficult to even smile and say good morning to my neighbors.

Hiding at home, the child still lives in the mother's house and occasionally videos with me, and the mother tells her daughter that I need to take an exam, and I have been busy lately. Lin Jia was afraid that I would be unstable, so he locked up all the sharp weapons in the house, and when he went to work, he locked me in the house. I respect all the people who worry about me, and I can understand and accept their caution, and the only thing I have to do is to get better as soon as possible.

Watching TV, looking at mobile phones, reading books, moving sofas from bed, moving bay windows. Watching the cars passing through the window and listening to the sound of the market shuttle vendors make me feel that I am not the only one left in this world.

Mopping the floor, washing dishes, making tea, writing calligraphy, everything I used to want to do, now I have a lot of time to do. After dinner in the evening, Lin Jia took me for a walk in the community, the May grass was full of vibrant fragrance, the wind brought the moist and warm breath in the air, around the ankles, the whole person showed a state of relaxation.

On the bench, Lin Jia held my hand and said, "Xia Fei, let's go on a trip, tomorrow the last patient will be discharged from the hospital, I can accompany you out for a walk, I took two weeks off, let's go to Yunnan, go to Lijiang, you want to see Dali, go to Shangri-La." ”

I turned to look at the man and suddenly felt that if no one had found me that day, I might not have known that there was so much in this world.

The next day, before Lin Jia went to work, I begged him not to lock me up. I went to my mother's house, looked at my mother, looked at her tired and worried face, and my nose was sore and I didn't know what to say. I went out from my mother's house, booked a tour group to Yunnan, bought the items I needed, met with Zhang Teng to adjust the dosage of the medicine, and went to the hospital to wait for Lin Jia to get off work.

This is the first time I walked into the hospital gate after taking leave, which made me a little breathless and nervous, I adjusted my emotions and forced myself to take a deep breath, but I tried several times and still couldn't do it. When I saw my colleague from afar, I fled and hid in a nearby convenience store. I don't understand what I'm hiding, but I don't know why, except for Lin Jia, who suddenly no longer wants to talk to other people, even if he just nods and smiles from afar, he can't do it anymore.