I'm in Du

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AVE's new home received a letter from China, sent by Jing Yao, and it was already a month after I returned to Vancouver. When the postman delivered the letter, I happened to be returning from a neighbor's house with a plate of small kumquats, and he was a little surprised to see me.

“Miss.He？ I thought it wasn't the real one, but I didn't expect it to be you,"

I looked at him and smiled and said, "Who else is so bold as to pretend to be Miss Ben?" ”

Seeing that I was in a good mood, my mother asked, "It's rare to see you smiling, why were you sullen the other day?" ”

I pretended to complain to her: "Please, I've been suffocating to death for a month, and I finally saw a living person I didn't know." ”

She was speechless for a moment, stunned in place, and frowned rarely. I also think the joke was over, though half sincerely, because she has been resentful of me for being too disciplined lately.

I stretched out my hands and swung them down to keep her calm: "Don't do that, I just want to be humorous, lest people say that I have no talent for comedy at all." ”

She put her arm to her chest and said, "Your friend is more honest than you, but I don't care, even if you are still a little sympathetic." ”

I laughed again and again, it was me who "spent the belly of a gentleman with the heart of a villain". The topic of her being too nervous about my "personal safety" has also been revealed, but in private she secretly patted her chest to comfort her, fortunately, the person who sent the letter was not her mother, otherwise the letter sent to me by Jing Yao from China might not reach me.

I took advantage of my mother's going out to buy groceries, and read the letter in the upstairs bookstore, the book of Jing Yao, and I would say hello at the beginning.

"Ashian? Aunt Luo? Please greet Jia Ann on your behalf.

Today's autumn, there is fog in the morning, fortunately the sun is very large, the afternoon turns cloudy, and it is said to be rainy in the evening, I don't know if Ah Xi is in Xiangshan, will the return trip be delayed? However, although the journey is tiring, Ah Xi will come back eventually.

In recent days, I have been unable to sleep well, and I have been suffering from insomnia all night long. This phenomenon has been more than a month, that day and Ah Xi spent the night in another small house, I almost didn't sleep all night, but Ah Xi slept peacefully, thinking that I dreamed of something good in a dream. Although Ah Xi didn't know, the next day he asked me if I hadn't rested well, unlike my father, who lived under the same roof with me, but he was a stranger. He has talked to me the most recently, and he only asks about the preparations for the wedding, and in his heart, the weight of my daughter is probably not as good as the three or two 'fox friends and dog friends' at his banquet table.

Ah Xi didn't know that my relationship with him had dropped to a freezing point, although we got along fairly well on the surface, it would not be an exaggeration to say that we were enemies in private. For him, I don't expect any father and daughter to be married, I just hate him so much, and of course, he hates me too.

Ah Xi didn't know who killed my mother. I still remember when I was a child, you and Jiang Li waited for me to go to school together, you and I were only six years old at that time, I don't know why Jiang Li was holding us, why his face was cold all the way. When I saw him again the next day, Jiang Li was the only one who came and waited for me. Ah Xi can know that Jiang Li's person really hurts your sister to the bone. How could he not know that what you saw that day frightened you, you are not sensible, but he knows that my father always likes to make fun of my mother when he is not satisfied, it is an act of violence, and saying that it is a "fight" is just a way to comfort you and me.

Since I was sensible, the years that followed were like the depths of Shura Hell, my mother was kind-hearted, and my father was accustomed to flattering words, and he never changed. She is always sad and crying, and she has to protect her face. I was scared and scared, and I had nightmares at night. I always thought that she was because of me, and she didn't even care about her hatred and disappointment in her father. But if she really cares about me, how can she leave me alone?

Ah Xi, lately I often think about the happy times when we were children, when my mother also had a lot of smiling faces on her face, we painted together, learned to swim, and my mother was always on the side to guide us. She always said, Ah Xi is smart, she wants me to learn from you, but you complain to me, Aunt Luo always thinks you are naughty at home, it is better to change me to your house. Ah Xi, if I had said yes at that time, would I be happy and healthy today?

After my mother's suicide, Fernan was always by my side to comfort and accompany me, and although I was close, I was never able to enlighten me. I was in a state of emotional turmoil, and I couldn't help but think of my mother. I thought he would be my salvation, but in fact I was defeated by depression. I think if you ask me if I love him, I would say that he is a qualified and perfect lover, but neither of us love each other. Since he wants to get married, let's get married.

Ah Xi, I just miss my mother. I will punish the executioner who killed her with my own hands, I do not forgive, I do not want to redeem, I do not want to die, it is the established generosity, and I am not afraid of this ending. Today, I always want Ah Xi to let you not come back, those dirty people, those terrible things, it is better to stay away from you.

Ah Xi, this letter is going to be sent to you, I'm afraid that you will be sad and blame yourself when you see it, or I won't let you see it well.

Ah Xi, I'm sorry, I don't blame you.

I hope you forget, I hope you remember. ”

The day after I received the letter, I heard from my mother that on the day Jing Yao committed suicide, the police had arrested her father on charges of dereliction of duty and bribery. Mayor Chen, who has been proud and noble all his life, only nodded when he heard the news of his only daughter's death in prison, and then continued to communicate with the lawyer whether there was a possibility of commuting the sentence.

Jing Yao's funeral was held three days later, when people learned that she had already left a cemetery and a tombstone for herself in Ling'an, south of the city. The tombstone reads: Neither forgive, nor forgive. Come and see me once in a while, and please bring your favorite flowers. And at that time, her lover did not lift her white turban, but held her favorite lily of the valley for her.

"Xiaoxi, I don't remember anything after you came back, I heard you talking to Ah Jing on the phone, and I didn't dare to tell you anything." My mother looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"I know."

"You've been thinking about her lately, haven't you?"

I hid my face and wept, "No, I just wanted to forget about her." ”

"Did you forget?"

"It's coming." I smiled and said to her, "Mom, I've been seeing a doctor, I'm going to be fine, don't worry." ”

She took me into her arms, as warm and safe as when she was a child, "Good boy, it's okay, it's okay." ”

I felt guilty for not being by her side when Ah Jing needed me the most, and I wasn't brave enough to grab her hand for help. I am afraid of disease, and it can easily devour a healthy consciousness, so in the face of death, I am afraid to retreat, but I can't stop the anger in my heart when I see its hideous appearance. But what it captures is not an ugly villain, but a glamorous and beautiful real life around him.

I sighed with grief and should be kind and cherished, gentle and blessed, but by no means afraid of her.

"Are you awake?"

He

be

Dr. T approached me: "What did you dream about this time?" ”

"No more. It's been a long time since I've had a good night's sleep. ”

He nodded, "Do you still feel sad often?" ”

I said, "Occasionally." ”

"You're going to come to me at least once a week from next time, and I don't want to act like a first aid every time."

“......”

"Don't speak?" He looked up at me faintly, "What's your opinion?" ”

"Doctor Jiang, you know, it's hard for people to forget something like that, let alone your friend committing suicide in front of you."

He didn't feel right in my tone and said, "At least I'm glad you told me." ”

"Did that work?"

The doctor asked, "Will it work for me to comfort you?" ”

"......," I said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been mad at you." ”

The doctor said, "Didn't you lie at yourself?" Su

Y, you have anger in your heart. ”

In the past six months of treating me, the doctor knows me too well. Although I didn't expect him to cure me completely, his help in the past six months has made it a lot easier for me.

I said, "I'm not coming here for a while, you can prescribe me some medicine." ”

I've thought about it seriously, my state has improved a lot during this time, although I still think of Jing Yao, and then I'm so sad that I blame myself to death, but I can slowly control my reaction. I know he wants me to stay until I'm fully recovered, but at the same time I have my job. This job gives me honor and mission, and it is also because of this responsibility that I can feel a little solace in this fucking day.

He

be

Dr. T didn't ask me why, he needed to know about my situation and would contact my mother first now, because he had told me more than once about the irresponsible behavior of my semi-missing person, and of course sometimes he also said he understood.

"I'm leaving." He's prescribing me a prescription, "By the way, when is your daughter's surgery scheduled?" ”

"Next Wednesday." He said without raising his head.

I said, "If you have anything to help with, just come to me." ”

He said disdainfully: "Aren't you already helping me when you came to find me?" ”

The doctor held a grudge, and I stuck out my tongue, "Okay, wish...... Good luck, flowers and gifts I will send to the hospital. ”

"Let's go, let's go!" He said impatiently, "I don't want to see you right now." ”

When I woke up, it was already completely bright, and the phone had not been cut off, showing that the call was 3 hours. I sighed in my heart, Dr. Jiang was disgusted on the surface, but he was still very caring. But he really didn't want to see me, and all the invitations to send him a video call were ruthlessly declined.

The doctor also seemed to have just woken up, and he answered there, and felt that his voice was hoarse, and he coughed again.

"What's wrong?"

"You didn't sleep well?"

The doctor's voice was low and faintly impatient: "I can't sleep well in the hospital with the bed." ”

I know that the doctor's daughter's heart surgery was successful, but I sympathize with his bitterness as a single father, and he has to worry about his daughter's affairs, big and small.

I said, "Then you can rest a little more." Before he could say the next sentence to tell him not to work too hard, the doctor said, "You should have had this realization sooner." ”

Me: "......"

Last night's celebration banquet was held on the second floor of the hotel, I remember how to go upstairs, but I forgot how to drink. I sniffed the clothes I had changed, the smell of alcohol mixed with perfume was inexplicably pungent, and before the hotel housekeeper came, I took it to the bathroom to "destroy the corpse", and by the way, I cleaned up my mess.

Mr. An lives in the suite of 7031 downstairs, and when he opened the door and saw that it was me, he obviously asked for it, but he still reached out to catch me. I slouched into his arms, my hands behind his waist. The blue sweater he wore today felt soft and comfortable to the touch. He looks best in this kind of home sweater, and the smell on his body is also good, it is the smell of jasmine and tea.

Mr. An has always been serious, I don't know why I suddenly clinged to him so much, and quietly pushed me out, and pushed me harder, not only pulling him tighter and tighter, but also pushing him back a step.

Mr. An lowered his voice, "What are you doing?" Blue sky and white day. He was so afraid of itching that he couldn't control his desire to laugh.

I said, "Don't you think you owe me something when you come back?" ”

"What do you owe?"

As he spoke, Mr. Ann was about to close the door, but I saw it, and not only did I reach out and push it open before him, but I also closed it, of course, by which I meant that it was closed from the inside.

I looked up from his arms and said 'you owe me a hug' and his 'I'm in a meeting' at the same time. It's just that the latter he didn't say that I also saw it, because there were more than a dozen people in the house besides him, and even the video phone in the living room was still on.

In the midst of all the surprise, exclamation, and gossip, I couldn't remember how I had escaped back to my room, and when I came back to my senses and saw the desk in front of the window, I remembered that it was Mr. An's room. Before I could introduce him, I had already been arranged to wait for him here.

I always put a bouquet of flowers in front of the window of my room, which is a habit that will not change all year round, and Mr. An's room has the fragrance of flowers, but there are no flowers.

I'm a little lost.

I heard the noise outside gradually disappearing, the door of the room opened, it was the sound of the door closing, and Mr. An came in after a meeting. He crouched down in front of me and said to me, "Aren't you bored?" ”

He came in once in the middle and turned on the computer for me. I didn't have my phone with me, so I don't know how long it took him to have a meeting, but I was stunned for a while and played a few games.

"You just don't speak?"

"You're done?"

"Hmm. Have you had breakfast? ”

"Not yet." It shouldn't have been too late, I originally wanted to be with him.

Mr. An felt a little guilty: "I'm sorry, I'm busy with work, I didn't even ask you." So I'll take you to eat now? ”

"I'm not hungry."

He froze for a moment, then stood up, arms outstretched. This person's figure is a must, and this dress makes him have a gentle and generous temperament, which really makes people can't take their eyes off.

"What?" I asked.

"Didn't you say I owe you?"

"It's not like you can pay it back."

I jumped out of bed, not accepting a bribe from his hue, ready to leave immediately. Mr. An grabbed me at that second, "He Xi! ”

He called me in a very good voice, as if the breeze was passing through the bamboo, washing the ethereal spirit of the deep mountains and old forests, and he used to call me 'Xi'er', but I haven't heard this call for a long time.

"Katsuki, didn't you notice that there are already a lot of people around you that I don't know?"

I don't think I laugh because I'm happy, but I'm not laughing because I'm sad, it's precisely because I'm jealous and can't be sad. When the assistant showed me the schedule, he said that today would be a blizzard day, but tomorrow and the day after tomorrow would be sunny.