Lan Keer told Luo Xiaoyao about Fang Zichun and Lin Sixue.

"Ke'er, the matter has passed, you have to know that your words back then made him lose his confidence, he also has the right to choose, don't you also have a boyfriend later? There are many factors that cause everything, maybe you were really together at that time, and you will be separated because you are too young to tolerate each other? You should think now, he doesn't like Lin Sixue, he has always liked you, just think about it this way.

"Xiaoyao, you know me best, I didn't mean that, I was complaining that I didn't leave the best of myself to him."

"You're the best version of yourself right now! Don't doubt it! ”

"No, I've lost too much, I'm no longer the cheerful, confident, sunny and happy Lan Keer I used to be."

"Hey, it's all my fault for what nerves I wrote to Fang Zichun when I was a freshman, so that you could misunderstand that I always liked him......"

Kerr couldn't put into words the pain in her heart......

"I don't blame you, I blame myself, I don't take the initiative to ......"

After going to college, although Lan Keer and Luo Xiaoyao are not in the same university, they are both in the same city. On weekends, the two of them get together and hang out on each other's doors. At that time, correspondence could only be done by letter and telephone in the dormitory. Even when they were close, they would often write letters to each other, and writing letters seemed to be the best way to keep in touch at the time, which was popular at the time.

Once, Luo Xiaoyao made a bet with her classmates in the same dormitory that if she lost, she would write a letter to the boy she liked, but Luo Xiaoyao lost, so she wrote a letter to Fang Zichun without thinking about it. Ke'er was also present at the time, on the surface she was so happy for Xiaoyao, but it hurt in her heart. She kept thinking in her heart: "Forget this person, anyway, Fang Zichun has never said that she likes herself, for Xiaoyao, forget him and forget him......" But where can she do it, the more she wants to forget, the more she misses.

Until the winter vacation that year, Fang Zichun wanted to meet her.

She wanted Fang Zichun to forget her, so she told Fang Zichun the story of other boys pursuing her, and what she told was indeed the truth.

Later, Fang Zichun cautiously asked her, "Do I still have a chance?" ”

Ke'er said against her intentions: "It's too late." ”

Why did she say that? On the one hand, when she thought of Luo Xiaoyao, she wanted to deliberately alienate Fang Zichun; On the other hand, she felt that the attitude and actions shown by Fang Zichun were not enough to move herself, and she wanted to test and test Fang Zichun again. What I didn't expect was that Fang Zichun was not the kind of person who was very good at chasing girls, he couldn't say nice words, he wouldn't do things he wasn't sure about, he wouldn't take action if he wasn't sure if the other party liked him, he was such a passive person!

That's what really exists between them, a missed date, a conversation.

Thinking of this, Luo Xiaoyao sent a WeChat message to Fang Zichun: "I'm sorry, it's all because of me, you know, because of one of my letters, because I don't understand and don't care about my good friend, which caused her to say things against your will, and also caused you to miss it!" ”

"Xiaoyao, it's all over, I'll find a way to redeem it now, no one is wrong, and I can only blame myself for not working hard."

Fang Zichun finally understood Lan Ke'er at that time, and he regretted not being at the beginning......

"Ke'er, at that time, what would you do if I took the initiative to wipe away your tears in addition to handing you a tissue?" Fang Zichun asked Lan Ke'er.

"If you take the initiative, I will take the initiative a little bit."

"Are you going to tell me too late?"

"No ifs, we've missed out, I'm not the best version of myself!"

"Kerr, I don't understand why you feel bad about yourself? Can you tell me what's going on? ”

"Zichun, you know what? You haven't looked for me for a long time since that meeting. Later, Xiaoyao had a boy she liked, and I realized that her liking for you was not what I imagined. So, I've been waiting for you, and the day you appear in front of me, I'll definitely ask you, do you still like me? ”

"Kerr......

"But you never showed up, I always faced a lot of things alone, a lot of boys chased me, no matter how good they were to me, I just treated them as good friends, because I knew that I had no heart except you."

Fang Zichun felt sorry for himself: "I really regret it......"

"Until one day......" Kerr continued.

At this time, Ke'er suddenly became emotional and couldn't cry......

"Ke'er, did something happen?"

"Lin Sixue gave you the best version of herself, but I didn't do it, Zichun, I'm so miserable......"

"My Kerr, what the hell happened to you?"

Kerr kept crying on the other end of the phone, as if she remembered something she didn't want to think about anymore, and she didn't have the courage to say it.

"No matter what happens, you are my favorite Kerr, it's all my bad, it's all my bad!"

"Zichun, in your eyes, how do I treat my friends?"

"You are very kind to your friends, you are very affectionate, and you are very kind to others."

"I never thought I'd lose to the word friendly. I'm going to tell you something that changed my character! ”

"Okay, I'll listen!"

"At school, I had a good friend, and once he introduced me to his good friend, and that person sang very well, and because of the same interests, we became good friends. One day, something seemed to have happened to his house, so I ran to comfort him, and took my phone card for him to use and asked him to call home. I saw that he was in a bad mood, so I took a taxi to take him home. When I got downstairs, he invited me to sit upstairs, and I thought he lived with my good friend, and there were a lot of people on it, so I didn't raise my vigilance, so I sent him upstairs.

At the beginning, we had a cup of tea together, chatting happily, who knew that when I was about to leave, he locked the door tightly at once, I reached out to open the door, but he pressed me on the bed, trying to bully me, I struggled desperately, I heard my pager ringing all the time, but I couldn't see, fortunately my strength was relatively strong, and then in fact he didn't succeed and I broke free, I quickly rushed out in dishevel......

I ran as hard as I could, as hard as I could, but my pager kept ringing, and I didn't dare to look, let alone go back to my dorm, and I didn't dare let my roommates see me embarrassed and helpless. So I had to hide in the corner of a certain classroom, and spend the night in that cold and dark corner. At that time, I didn't have time to think about anything in my heart, and even I didn't cry, I only thought about one person and one sentence, that is you, I want to ask: Zichun, where are you? Why didn't you come to save me? I thought about it all night.

When it was dawn, I knew that my roommates had gone to school, so I secretly went back to my dorm and took a thorough shower, and then I cried out loud because I didn't understand and didn't know what to do.

It wasn't until the afternoon that I told a good friend I trusted about it, and she told me solemnly: What's the matter with you? You really don't understand, do you? Even if you're not sure you're okay, you should take the medicine.

Then she went out and bought me a pill for me to take.

The next day, I felt very unwell, and she took me to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctors couldn't figure out the situation at that time, and I couldn't tell me, maybe they thought I was doing and used tools to check on me.

When I got home, I realized that I was bleeding a lot, and I thought it was a period......

So, I didn't wait for you, but I lost myself......

Since this nightmare, although I have become stronger, more proactive, and more protective of myself, I have become extremely distrustful of others and very defensive. I don't think I should wait for you any longer, I should find someone to protect me. ”

Ke'er finished talking about this thing that he never wanted to mention again, this thing that he always wanted to escape, he didn't tell his parents, nor did he tell anyone, except for Luo Xiaoyao and the friend who helped her at the time, she was relieved after talking to Fang Zichun at this moment......

"Zichun, I'm not the best me, will you still love me?"

Fang Zichun's heart was like a knife, and he couldn't bear the pain, he said categorically: "Ke'er, I have loved you for more than 20 years, and I will always do it." I didn't know you were going through something that hurt my heart so much, I hated myself, what was I doing before? I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most, and I owe you a ...... in this life. ”

"One of the most tacit things we do is that I don't contact you, and you don't contact me, and in the end we can only miss ......" Kerr suddenly stopped crying.

"My Kerr is still the best Kerr, in my heart, no matter what happens to you, those bad things are my fault, let me protect you from now on, and I will take care of you for the rest of your life."

Although Lan Keer got Fang Zichun's affirmative answer, she still became so sensitive and unconfident, because she loved Fang Zichun too much and always cared too much about such things......

The clock has slowly gone to four o'clock in the morning, but the two people who tell their hearts are not sleepy, the sky is slightly bright, a new day is coming, Keer told some stories hidden in his heart, Zichun has heard how sorry he loves the person he loves, things have passed, I hope that the cherished Keer can forget the past and accept Zichun!