But the night of the twenty-ninth year was so cold and dark, how did I get through it in a fleece sweatshirt?

If I have such a will and physique, why should I not be admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University, and if I can't do it, I will also take the Shanghai Fudan exam, and go to Shanghai Fudan while playing.

In reality, we still have to breathe with our delicate noses in the cold winter air, which inevitably flows into the lungs, and every pore and cell transmits feelings to the brain, but the brain allows the heart to digest this temperature.

I don't have the will and body, I'm just a child who wants to live, a child who wants to be warm, a child who wants to be loved, and a child who wants to keep some unknown children.

That day, I resolutely told my mother, "I'm not going." ”

My mother didn't push me again, she just said to me, "You can't eat, you." ”

Then, the mother told the second sister and the younger brother why the second sister and the younger brother accepted it happily. Then, the second sister went to live with one of her classmates in middle school. And where my brother went, I didn't know at the time.

It hurt even more the only vestige of self-esteem that I had left in my young heart, and it made me even more sad.

I'm like my mother said, I just can't eat it? What else will I do in that way? I am a lucky star, a child who wants to shine on the lintel.

I must not do that, I thought to myself. Even if I was more sad, I told my mother, "I'm going to go out and live with my classmates." ”

I suddenly remembered that when I was in the first year of junior high school, Wu Yang and Yuxiang went to an Internet café with me.

At that time, Yuxiang asked me to ask her and Wu Yang to go online, and I didn't know how to refuse her request.

Then, I went home and said to my mother, "Mom, I want 20 yuan to go and surf the Internet with my classmates." ”

"What do you do online?" Mom asked me.

"I'm going to study and search for information on the Internet." I'll tell my mom.

"If you don't have money, don't you look at other people's?" Mom probably didn't understand what I was talking about.

No, my mother never understood me.

But that day, she still gave me the money.

I asked Yuxiang and Wu Yang to open two machines, played for two hours, and spent three yuan.

I didn't seem to be playing anything, except that it felt like time was passing really fast and the big ass desktop computer network was really slow. My eyes were fixed on Bai Huahua's screen, ready to search for something, such as who is Sanmao?

I don't have QQ, after registering one, after adding Wu Yang and Yuxiang's QQ, I didn't do anything. I searched Sanmao, read her novel for a while, and the time was up.

That day, Yuxiang and Wu Yang looked happy, but I was very depressed. I regret asking my mom for money and asking them to go online.

I don't like the results of going online. The family's money came too hard, and I spent it too quickly, and time passed too quickly.

When I got home, I returned the rest of the money to my mom, and I never went to play again that year.

What is the Internet for? I asked myself. When I was thirteen years old, Internet cafes were a new industry, and I didn't go out of fashion, and I didn't understand it at all. It's just that when I was in class, I often listened to the class teacher and my tablemates.

My Chinese teacher taught us not to go to the night machine and to study hard. He told us in class that he once spent 200,000 yuan and opened an Internet café, but later found out that all underage children were addicted to his online store, so he closed the Internet café and won the title of a loser. He then started his career in education.

When I was in seventh grade, my homeroom teacher was a rich kid who studied very well, and I heard from my favorite math teacher that he was admitted to college at the age of 14. The children of rich families are still working hard, so I am embarrassed to be a child in a cold cave. He wants to study well, change jobs, and it's so easy for him to be good.

My tablemate told me about him going to the night machine. For example, six dollars a night and so on and so on.

And that day, after I invited Yuxiang and Wu Yang to go online, for a long time, I rarely went to school with them anymore, which aroused a worry in my heart, I was afraid that Yuxiang would put forward some suggestions for new attempts, and what should I do if I am inferior and guilty?

I won't reject someone properly, and the unbearable burden of my mind will turn away the next second.

My mind was a jumbled with thoughts. Then, I went out the door.

After heading out, I decided to go on a night flight. On the evening of the 29th, it should be warm and interesting to spend the night in the Internet café.

But what if I don't have any money?

Living in poverty for many years, I have developed a good habit of not asking my mother for money.

I had to go to Wu Yang's house and borrow from Wu Yang, but Wu Yang had no money. She asked me, "What are you borrowing money for?" ”

I didn't know how to answer her, and I looked at her like a mourning dog. I thought to myself, I can't tell her on the evening of the 29th of the New Year, "I'm going to an Internet café." ”

Then, I said, "If you don't, forget it." ”

She said, "If you need it urgently, I'll ask my mom for it." ”

I said, "No, it's fine," and I ran away.

I found another classmate of mine, Ran Yan, who didn't say a word, took me six yuan from home, and then asked me: "Is it enough, if it's not enough, I'll go and ask my mother for it again." ”

My tears of gratitude were about to come out, and I said, "Enough, enough."

Saying goodbye to Ran Yan, I ran all the way and happily went to the Internet.

Wait until ten o'clock, the night machine of the Internet café starts, and the boss said that the price of the Internet café during the New Year will increase in price, and it must be six yuan and five before you can get on the night machine.

I came out in frustration and changed to another one, and the boss took my money, but the proprietress came out, looked at me, and said, we are not allowed to let in the underage children here.

I was about to cry and say, "You guys let me go online." ”

The proprietress smiled kindly and said to me, "Let's go home for the Chinese New Year."

He probably thought that I was just a kid who ran away from home in anger with my parents, but that's really what I thought in my heart at the time. I just wasn't convinced, my mother said I couldn't eat it.

Why can't I eat it? Could it be that eating well is going out to sleep with classmates during the New Year? I just can't eat if I don't want to sleep at my friend's house?

In fact, I never really understood my mom at all, I just memorized her.

I was helpless, and the owner of the Internet café wouldn't let me go online. It was already half past ten o'clock at night, and the winter night had been dark for more than four hours.

I had to follow the main road, climbing a 45-degree slope to get back to my house. However, everyone in the family fell asleep, and even the black light of my house was frightened and hid because of the sound of firecrackers. And I hid in the pile of bread at the door, and no one noticed me.

In the middle of the night, after the firecrackers, it was quiet again. I climbed over the wall of my house and hid in the pigsty.

Because, my sow gave birth to piglets, my mother was afraid that they would be dark, afraid that they would be cold, so she turned on the lights for them, and the burned pot fire had not been extinguished, and the enclosure was covered with a canvas cloth and only left a gap, and their enclosure must be very warm.

I hid in my sow's pen and it was really warm. But this warmth made me feel sad again, and I was not even as good as my sow and piglet.

Although their fate is destined to be sold and become food on the human table, it has to exist in the eyes of my mother and still have value, and I, I am not even as good as my pigs, and I don't even have a warm nest......

The memories are really too painful, I don't dare to think about it, forget it. But I can't do it, my memory is really good, and my will is strong, but why can't I get my test results?