"It's tiring to take care of me, isn't it?" I laughed, propped myself up slightly and moved to the inside of the bed, vacating a space, stretched out my hand and patted the vacated space, looked at him and whispered, "Come up and lie down for a while." ”

Jiang Yueze hesitated, just looked at me motionlessly and didn't speak.

I laughed, looking at his appearance and thinking it was a little funny, so I reached out and lifted a piece of the quilt and explained softly: "Just come up and lie down for a while, I'm still sick, I won't do anything to you." You don't have to worry. ”

He slowly got up, sat on the edge of the bed, slowly put the pillow on the head of the bed, and half lay down next to me.

I looked at him and smiled, but he didn't forget to bring me the water cup and feed me water. After that, he covered my quilt again. Looking at my eyes, there is no trace of distraction, just clear, focused and profound.

I laughed silently, feeling that my throat was much more comfortable, not as dry and hot as it had been before, and even the stickiness was much less.

I looked at him, and my mind slowly went back in time, and I began to slowly tell him about my past, my messy past.

I started with my brother being sick and my grandmother being critically ill. The sensitivity and uncertainty that I am afraid of losing, the loneliness and the fear are all revealed. I told him that my grades had fallen during that time, and it seemed that I had suffered a waterloo in my life, and I tried my best, but I did worse and worse in the exams every time, and in the end I almost lost confidence in myself, and even wanted to give up on myself, so I just gave up.

Jiang Yueze was very distressed after hearing this, his brows were tightly wrinkled together, and the emotions in his eyes were all clearly seen by me. So the emotion in my heart, happiness and sourness, were all mixed together, making my whole person fluttering, as if unreal.

He slowly reached out and stroked my face, his tone was complicated, but his voice was still low and magnetic: "Then why didn't you tell me?" ”

"I'm afraid it will affect you." I looked at him, a little embarrassed, but with a frank face: "I heard Lu Zhixin say, you are going to participate in the national physics competition soon, and I don't want to distract you because of my business." ”

Jiang Yueze was very helpless, his brows furrowed even tighter, and his expression was complicated and difficult to distinguish. I hurriedly reached out and tugged at his sleeve, and said with a playful smile: "But then, I really wanted to see you, so I ran to find you." ”

Speaking of this, I feel sorry for Jiang Yueze again. Because if it weren't for the fact that I couldn't help but go to him, and I cried so much that I didn't let him go, he wouldn't have wiped my tears and looked ambiguous, and everyone wouldn't say that we were kissing, so it wouldn't have caused everyone's dissatisfaction and had a conflict with Peng Meixin...... If I hadn't gone to him, this series of events wouldn't have happened later, affecting him.

Thinking of these terrible things, my voice and mood fell, and the hand pulling his sleeve couldn't help but loosen: "Of course, if I hadn't gone to look for you at that time, so many things wouldn't have happened." I won't bother you. ”

Jiang Yueze didn't say anything immediately, but he was very firm and decisively held my hand that let go of his sleeve, tightly clasped my ten fingers, and the slightest warmth spread to my palm.

"It's not your fault, you didn't bother me." He said lightly, with a faint warmth into my palm and heart: "I am very happy that you came to me." ”

I looked at his beautiful eyes, which were like the brightest stars in the night sky, and their sockets began to be hazy, but my mouth refused to let him go: "Then why did you have a straight face at that time?" I thought you hated me. ”

He looked at me and sighed helplessly, his voice low and obsessive: "What a fool. If I hate you, you won't be my tablemate. ”

I couldn't react for a while, I didn't understand what he meant, so I could only blink and ask, "What?" ”

"Nothing." Jiang Yueze didn't want to say more, gently took my hand, and said softly: "Go on, I'll listen carefully." ”

I hummed and honestly told him that I beat Peng Meixin in the toilet, without a trace of concealment and objectivity, and told him exactly how hideous and terrible I was at that time.

"As soon as I punched her, a hole was torn open next to her eye socket, and soon the area around her eye was swollen high, and she burst into tears. I already knew subconsciously at that time that she must have been badly injured. But at the time, I cruelly thought it wasn't enough. The fist in his hand, which did not win the shout of reason, swung it out again. ”

Jiang Yueze listened, slowly rubbed the top of my hair, and comforted me silently.

I recalled this memory that I had always wanted to escape, and I had a rare sense of sanity and sobriety in the face of reality, and my tone was no longer the same as before, panicked: "At that time, many people were accusing me, but I felt that everything was not important. There was only one thought in my head, and that was that we were all going to destroy together. ”

"This madness didn't subside until Lu Zhixin and Gu Jiatong came and brought me back to the class. Back to my sober me, the big mistake has been made, and it is too late to regret it. ”117

Jiang Yueze silently tightened my hand, giving me a steady stream of power. I looked at our fingers clasped together and showed him my inner heart naked: "I don't know why I had such evil thoughts at that time. I don't dare to recall it at all, or even face the self at that time. Every time I think about it, I feel very embarrassed and sorry for her. ”

This guilt and self-blame, regret and disgust have been haunting me and making my conscience uneasy. In addition, the principal said that he would cancel your escort, and I felt that I was a scourge and had insomnia all night long. ”

"I don't know what to do to make amends. I didn't dare to see you, and I didn't have the face to apologize to you, I was afraid that you would accuse me and dislike me, and I was even more afraid that you wouldn't even accuse me, and you would be expressionless and cold to me, and from now on you will be just a passerby. Under such torment and entanglement, I could only go to my uncle's office to cry and plead with him. Until he relented. ”

"Later, he finally begged the principal to relent, you can continue to escort it, and I want to take a big demerit, apologize to Peng Meixin, be responsible for all her medical expenses, and not be allowed to step into the school before the college entrance examination."

"When I learned about the punishment, I cried with joy. I thought to myself that it didn't bother you after all. I was tempted to tell you then, but I still didn't. ”

"On the day I left school, I went to the science building to look for you. I didn't dare look at you through the window, I was afraid of being discovered by you, so I had to look at the small window of the back door to see you writing physics problems there. That's when I thought, this should be the last time we'll see each other. I won't pester you anymore in the future. ”

When Jiang Yueze heard this, he was very helpless, and said with some anger and distress: "What is the reason for provoking me, but running away without saying a word?" ”

I smiled, feeling that Jiang Yueze in front of me was very vivid. I have seen the noble and cold Jiang Yueze, the calm and calm Jiang Yueze, the calm and wise Jiang Yueze, and the gentle and smiling Jiang Yueze, who is as beautiful as jade, and even the Jiang Yueze who pretends to be calm and duplicitous, but I have never seen the Jiang Yueze in front of me, who is angry and corrupt, but still tries to restrain himself, and can't bear to blame me.

I shook his hand and said softly: "It's all over, you let me run now, I won't run anymore." ”

Jiang Yueze didn't speak, but his frowning brows loosened a little.

I saw that his expression was relaxed, and he continued: "At that time, my parents were very busy, and I didn't dare to distract them, let alone let them know, so I kept hiding at my uncle's house. Lu Zhixin was the only one who knew what I was doing. Sometimes she sent me any materials or mock questions from the school. But she never told me that you gave me a lot of it. ”

Jiang Yueze didn't speak, just looked at me.

I asked softly the reason: "Is it because you are afraid that I will have a psychological burden, so you are not allowed to say anything?" ”

Jiang Yueze looked down at me, his eyes blinking, and the light of the table lamp hit his silhouette, like a golden shadow on a sketch, mysterious and pyrotechnic.

He just looked at me quietly for a few seconds before he reached out and touched my eyebrows, smiling and saying, "I'm afraid of scaring you away." ”

I looked at him, slowly pulled his hand down, held it tightly, and slowly leaned into his arms, closing my eyes in satisfaction.

His body was stunned, and the next second he hugged me tightly, and his thick and warm palms supported my back, as if to soothe all my grievances, my uneasiness, my sensitivity and carefulness, only the warmth of being cared for remained.

I closed my eyes and recalled those days, but I no longer felt gray, and my voice was calm and soft: "At that time, my daily days were to do my homework, organize my notes, and when I was in a really bad mood, I would read all kinds of books. Copy the "Euphemism" and copy the "Book of Songs" to calm yourself down. ”

"During that time, I didn't go to see Peng Meixin once. It's just that every once in a while, I will ask my aunt or Lu Zhixin to send some notes and question books that I have made. It wasn't until after the college entrance examination that I heard that she was admitted to Agricultural University, and my guilt was less. ”

Jiang Yueze hummed and didn't speak for a long time. We just stayed quiet, I lay in his warm arms, smelling the familiar scent of his body, everything was wonderful.

Suddenly, Jiang Yueze's voice sounded coldly, with doubts and caution: "Then what happened after that?" ”

I listened, pursed my lips, rubbed my head against his chest, and found a comfortable position, before I spoke with satisfaction, with peace and indifference: "After the college entrance examination, I shuttled through several tutoring institutions, worked as a tutor, taught guitar and ukulele to children, and earned money to pay off my uncle's medical expenses. Later, my brother and grandmother's illnesses were a little recurring, so I went back and forth between the hospital and the tutoring institution. It's also very fulfilling. ”

"Later, when the college entrance examination scores came down, I didn't get into Chongwen, and I was very depressed, but when I heard my uncle say that you are the top student in the city, I felt very happy."

Jiang Yueze touched my long hair, one by one, gentle and cherished, very comfortable.

It was also at that time that the little hope in my heart that you and I met was also shattered. I clearly saw the growing gap between us, and it was at that time that I finally truly believed that you and I would never have the possibility of intersecting again. ”