I saw that his expression was faint, but his eyes darkened little by little, and his eyelashes were used as a curtain to separate all emotions.

I felt like I should say something. But as a real bystander, he is not qualified to judge.

I finally chose to shut up, watching him fall silent for a short time, listening to him continue to talk about the follow-up painlessly, but my heart couldn't help but be desolate.

"But I still approached her uncontrollably. It's as if I had designed the code, and I had discovered that little bit of error early in the morning, and I knew that it would affect the whole thing, but I still had a little bit of luck and watched as the code I coded by hand became the Leaning Tower of Pisa, getting more and more crooked, and more and more deviated from the original track. In the end, you can only make a big mistake and start all over again. ”

I didn't know what to say or do at this point, I didn't even know what kind of posture and expression to put on to resonate with him, and in the end, I could only look at him with a look of pity and regret, and admit that there was no going back.

He looked up at me and smiled very softly, his voice still sunny and bright as usual: "But it's worth it to meet her." Even if the outcome is not so satisfying, at least each other still looks good. ”

I pursed my lips and concluded in an astringent voice: "So, seeing me who is somewhat similar to her, you naturally got closer." ”

Xu Siyang looked at me, and after hearing my words, his eyes were full of seriousness and loneliness, and his tone was helpless and restrained: "I don't admit this." Because you provoked me first. ”

"You gave me a red trouser belt at the convenience store and we crossed paths. But you don't remember at all. ”

His expression was helpless and sad, but he still smiled, making himself look free and unconcerned, but those eyes without a smile were honestly telling how sad and uneasy his master was.

I opened my mouth, and the huge bitterness choked in my throat, making my voice hoarse and sour: "I, I know. ”

Xu Siyang laughed and whispered: "Then you know my thoughts, right?" ”

I chuckled in my heart, I didn't expect this to be the case.

I was thinking about how to speak, but he said it first.

I looked up at him, not knowing what to answer.

But he spoke first empathetically: "I don't know how to speak, it's very difficult, right?" ”

I picked my fingers, and I couldn't help but feel the urge to cry, as well as regret and self-blame.

If I hadn't made such a frivolous move, wouldn't the result have been different? Will my 3 damage to Xu Siyang be less?

Or maybe he wouldn't have been hurt like that at all?

I lowered my eyes, all the emotions and bitterness rolled in my throat, and then I said unsteadily: "I'm sorry, I ......"

I also know it soon.

I regret provoking you and hurting you.

But as soon as I opened my mouth, all my words were drowned in my guilt.

Xu Siyang laughed, shook his head as if relieved and tormented, and his voice was melancholy and sad: "It's me who should say I'm sorry." I deceived you first, and I should apologize. ”

"Besides, I am the one who likes you, and I am the one who bothers you, you didn't do anything wrong, and what do you apologize for?"

He looked at me in a serious and gentle tone: "To be honest, I didn't want you to know. Because I'm afraid that you won't forgive me, I'm even more afraid that you will feel sorry and sad because you can't respond to me. ”

He breathed a sigh of relief as he spoke, and shrugged helplessly: "But I still, messed it all up." ”

I blinked, and the tears rolled down naturally.

Xu Siyang was stunned for a moment, his eyes shrank a little, and in the next second, he hurriedly handed me a tissue, his lips pursed tightly.

I looked at Xu Siyang like this, my heart seemed to be pinched, suffocated and sad.

Xu Siyang held a tissue and wanted to help me wipe my tears, but he held back his movements, watching me cry, he frowned tightly, and the distress and self-blame in his eyes were clear.

I endured the sourness in my eyes, stared at him stubbornly, and said in a low voice: "Xu Siyang, I owe you so much, what do you want me to pay?" ”

He looked at me with soft eyes, but the corners of his mouth were tightly pursed, and his eyes looked at me without blinking.

I stared at him fiercely with red eyes, but my tone was the softest: "You should be sparkling in my eyes, not so cautious." You should always be sunny and not humble and careful like you are now, like you are now. ”

"You shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be like this. ”

Xu Siyang smiled and replied loudly: "There is nothing that should not be done, and you don't need to pay me back." Don't be so sad anymore, or I'll blame myself to death. ”

I looked at him again and again, and finally only held back one sentence: "Xu Siyang, when you don't want to laugh, don't laugh." ”

He looked at me and hummed slowly.

The people in the shop began to say goodbye in twos and threes, the lively hot pot restaurant has begun to cool down, the sound of the movie is becoming clearer and clearer, and the two of us are more and more speechless.

I turned my head to see Lin Tianjiao running in the heavy rain on the screen, hoping to send Gao Xiang off and see him for the last time before parting. But she ran to the train station, no matter how she shouted, Gao Xiang, who was sitting on the train, couldn't hear her urgency and hope, and finally took the train away from Lin Tianjiao, roaring away.

I glanced at Xu Siyang and said lightly: "Let's finish watching this movie." "110 Literature

Xu Siyang hummed and said okay.

I turned my head to look at the screen again, and saw that Lin Tianjiao was finally drenched in heavy rain, and went to the place where she and Gao Xiang liked the radio anchor, and sang a song "hey Jude" for him.

At the end, Gao Xiang heard Lin Tianjiao's song to see him off, as well as her true confession.

"Gao Xiang, what do you ask me to thank you for? I haven't answered you. ”

"Thank you for everything."

At this point, they never met again.

But I've been looking forward to a reunion.

The two of us just watched the movie in silence. At the end of the movie, he looked out the window, finally drank all the beer in his hand, and said in a deep voice: "Let's go, it's time to go back." ”

I hummed and slowly got up and dressed.

We walked slowly down the street, the street snacks had begun to gradually close, there was no lively fireworks, only the cold wind accompanied by the dim lights, and the environment was more bleak.

Entering the campus, the students who practiced flag-raising in Polaris Square have disappeared, only a few people are practicing roller skating, and the usually lively campus has also returned to its original quiet appearance in the winter night.

None of us spoke, just walked quietly, through Chongwen Road, past the Machinery Yard, past Renhu Park, through Chongyi Forest, past Building 6, and finally to the bottom of the apartment building where I was.

Xu Siyang looked up at the street lamp, and said in a deep voice for a long time: "Go up." ”

I hesitated for a moment, not moving.

He repeated again, but his eyes were gentle and clear, still the suave and sunny Xu Siyang.

I pursed my lips, said goodbye slowly, and turned to walk back into the apartment.

When I distanced myself from him, Xu Siyang called me softly.

I was about to turn back, but he hurriedly stopped: "Don't turn your head, just stand and listen to me." ”

I withdrew my backward feet and obediently turned my back to him until he finished.

"I'll go here with you. In the future, we will not contact each other again. ”

My hands clenched instantly, and I couldn't help but want to turn around, but he stopped me again.

"Don't look back. If you turn back, I should relent. After all, I really made this decision with a lot of determination. ”

Tears instantly filled my eyes, and layers of mist rose up, making me unable to breathe.

"I really like you, not because you are like Wang Min, nor because I want to make up for my regrets. It's because you're Fang Jinyu, so I like you. ”

"But today, I really want to let you go."

"It's my regret that I couldn't stay by your side for a little longer, stay with you a little longer. But I will bless you. ”

"So you must be happy and live each day to the fullest, so that I will not waver."

"Maybe when I put you down, it's when I meet someone willing to wear that number 30 bracelet. So, you don't have to feel guilty and you don't have to blame yourself. ”

"At that time, I must still be Xu Siyang in your heart, and you will still be Fang Jinyu in my heart."

"So, Fang Jinyu, don't look back. Don't say I'm sorry, don't make me regret it. ”

I listened to his words, and finally I couldn't hold back my tears.

"Goodbye." I heard him say.

I burst into tears, but I walked into the apartment building with a firm stride.

Didn't look back.

I rushed back to the dormitory in one go, and the act of closing the door seemed to take all my strength, making me slip and fall to the ground, unable to stand up again.

The roommates gathered around and asked worriedly, "What's wrong?" Who bullied you? ”

"Yes, what's wrong, why are you crying so sadly?"

"Don't worry, don't cry, tell me what's going on, and we'll figure it out together."

I shook my head and sobbed, "I can't help it." I owe him all my life. ”

In the end, in my college life, the boy who left a strong mark on the color disappeared into the theater of my life.

No more later.