Chapter 19 The blues music filled with thin voices soothes the turbulent soul

Since that day, Cangnan has often come to the hospital to see me, often coming on a skateboard, and then leaving in a hurry, and then laughing and greeting me outside the window and telling me that he will come again tomorrow, and his figure disappearing on the skateboard in an instant is like a gust of wind.

Occasionally he would tell me about the school, and occasionally he would bring some small toys to pass my boring time, often toys that some elementary school students like to play with, but I don't know where he bought the strange things.

So the hospital is always full of voices like this:

"Cangnan, you stop for me! I'm scared to death! ”

"Hahaha can't catch up with me, fake snake on the side of the road, only a fool like you can be scared!" Then they grimace at me, but why do some people look so good even when their faces are crumpled?

Occasionally, he would quietly sing for me the tunes he had recently written, and although his notebook was densely packed with words that I could not read, his unique voice was a good medicine for my peace of mind.

He always told me to live each day happily, even if I didn't know how many days I had left. Every time I hear his words, I always want to say that I am not terminally ill, but the little evil psychology makes me want to look at his nervous eyes and laugh, maybe it's not funny, it's more reluctant, it's trying to keep his care, because I'm afraid that when he knows that he is not sick, he will go away, regardless of it, and return to his original life.

Cangnan regarded every day of my life as a countdown to my life, and even wrote in his diary what surprises to give me tomorrow to create happiness for me, so that I would not have regrets every day, he said that it was at that time that he understood that he had slowly reluctantly let me go, and the more he thought about it every day, the more he couldn't accept the reality that I would not be in this world in the near future.

Later, one day, Bei Chu was angry at me for no reason because of Bei Lu's ignorance of him, and he happened to be heard by Cang Nan, and he was particularly angry and accused Bei Chu of Bei Chu, "How can you be a sister like this, her days are running out, and you always lose your temper with her." “

After hearing this, Bei Chu said inexplicably, "Song Cangnan, you are insane, why are you cursing my sister to death if you have nothing to do?" ”

There is no doubt that the truth of the matter was exposed in an instant, and Cangnan also shouted at me angrily, "I didn't expect you to be a girl who loves to lie, you liar." ”

After he looked at us angrily, he ran out of the ward without looking back, I hurriedly chased out but never saw his familiar back again, there was a notebook left by him at the door, and there were songs written for me on it, every word was so warm, so warm, so simple and kind, and I deceived such a good Cangnan.

Since Cangnan left that day, until I was discharged from the hospital, he never came to the hospital again, I think he probably won't forgive me, in his heart I'm probably a bad-hearted girl, every time I think of this, I regret it, I regret it in the first place, and I regret why I thought it was fun and didn't tell him the truth.

Beilu saw my unhappiness, carefully asked me what was going on, I told him about Cangnan, showed him Cangnan's songs, showed him all the toys Cangnan brought me, and shared with him all the surprises that Cangnan brought me, and then I was unconsciously choked up while talking, and then I remembered Cangnan's face and clear eyes and finally cried silently, and I couldn't wait to pour all the reluctance and regret all the sadness in the arms of Beilu.

Is this just liking, is this the taste of first love? I asked myself in my heart, and I just felt that there was a corner of my heart that was empty.

I raised my face to wipe away my tears, and my heart was much more comfortable, but Beilu's eyes were red, and his eyes were moist and stared at me for a long time, and then he said faintly, "Don't worry, Beimo, he will definitely come back, and I will definitely help you get him back." ”

"Why are you crying on the north road, it's okay with me, anyway, it's good not to have him before." I deliberately smiled and comforted Beilu, and he scratched my nose with a stumbling smile and said, "It seems that our family is in love at the beginning of the year." ”

"No, I just don't want to lose a friend." I lowered my head and retorted, but my face was as red as an apple, and hot as the warm summer sun.

Beilu really didn't break his promise, and helped me bring back Cangnan shortly after I was discharged from the hospital, saving my little joy, and then looking back, it seems that every time Beilu is so silently doing everything for me, and going to Cangnan for my smile.

Of course, Cangnan and I finally talked about it, Cangnan said that after going back, think about it carefully, in fact, the joy in my heart is superfluous and angry, as long as I think that I can see me in the future, I will still live well in this world, all the anger is gone, he said that he should be happy, but at that time, it was only my initial deception and later non-confession, thinking that I didn't care about him at all, so he was angry.

"I haven't had the courage to explain to you because I'm afraid you'll get angry and ignore me later," I said in a hurry.

"Now I know, your brother also told me that someone was still crying, I really didn't expect me to be so good, haha." He smiled mischievously at me, as if he was determined to win, as if he had grasped my weakness.

Cangnan said that he originally lived in the north, his mother was French, he came to the south because of his parents' marriage, his mother returned to France in a fit of anger, because his father was busy with work and had no time to take care of him, and he was worried that he would be distracted by his parents' feelings, so he sent him to his aunt's house in the southern water city, and he also traveled to see the world.

"Will you go back then?" I asked Cangnan nervously, I always felt that he didn't belong here, I always felt that his wings were too full, and he should fly farther and higher.

"I love it here, I love the white rice here, I love the flavorful side dishes here, I love everything here." He didn't answer my question directly, just laughed and said how much he loved it here. 、

You say that you are the leisurely mountain of the north, and I am the clear water of the south, and together you can piece together the whole world.

Haoran and Xichen were able to appease Xichen's emotions because of Haoran's meticulousness in the cave that time, and their relationship warmed up further, and finally acquiesced to their feelings under our matchmaking. The four of us often went to the surrounding streets and alleys to taste the food, and often rode bicycles around the beautiful scenery, and it was then that I realized that the town I had lived in for so many years was so beautiful and full of flavor, and I actually realized it now.

Cangnan drove me through the streets and alleys, would buy me a big bag of snacks and said it was cuter to gain weight, and patiently teach me skateboarding, even if I couldn't learn it all the time, he would buy a map on a whim and carefully study that he was going to go here and there in the future, and he would sneak up on me to scare me when he was reading a book in the library, and he would also secretly film me when I accidentally fell asleep on his desk, and then threaten me. He would also gently put the headphones in my ears and turn up the volume to the maximum while I was doing my homework, and then laugh when I heard my scream.

I'm used to being teased by him every day, used to playing together every weekend, used to bringing him the family's lunch box and my mother's cooking when I came home, and used to laughing inexplicably at his exaggerated and dumb expressions pretending to be angry.

But I don't know that at this time, Beichu was frustrated by the hiding of the North Road, and was close to madness, and I didn't know that the North Road was tormented at this time, their stories were forgotten by me, and their hearts were ignored by me.

First love is probably so beautiful that it occupies the whole heart, and there is no extra thought to take care of others.

He came from the north and fell in love with the water.

May you suffer less when you are obsessed, may you wake up to the fact that things are people

What is the focus of life, is it just what I do every day, the people who accompany me every day, during that time, the focus of my life has been completely transformed into Cangnan and Xichen's body, every day with friends as companions, there is the person who misses the heart, everything seems to be coming as scheduled, I also began to stay outside as soon as I came home from school, and I began to like to invite three or two friends to play around, and gradually no longer dare to speak and dare not try, and gradually became cheerful, and gradually found my own beauty, no longer afraid of other people's eyes, No longer be afraid of what others say.

Every time I go home, I often hear my mother say, you are growing up and slowly not at home, the former lively home always feels strangely lonely, just me and your father are busy going back and forth with some noise.

I always feel very embarrassed when I hear these words, and I feel that I am really unfilial, but it is already common for Beichu not to go home, and I don't go home because of the appearance of Cangnan, but what about North Road? Why did North Road start lingering outside?

I looked at my mother who was sitting on a chair knitting a sweater, her hair was tied low on her shoulders, the white light shone in the corner of her eyes, her eyelashes trembled slightly and the wrinkles next to her were so obvious, I walked over and wrapped her neck around her warm shoulder, I didn't know what to say for a while, she still had a faint smell of oil smoke, and the family's business was a little better than before, probably because the more time passed, the greater the reputation and the more unique the flavor of the meal, although Yin Taoze also followed her to help with the dots, he was responsible for cooking, Mom is in charge of the fans under the following article, it sounds like it is not as tired and busy as before, but our growth has also made the burden of the family heavier, coupled with accidents again and again, although every day is very busy, but can only barely maintain the family's livelihood, not to say how much money can be made, but the passage of time also makes this woman who was in her prime clamoring to dislike bad business to accept the arrangement of fate, learn to accept the gift of fate, learn to be happy with destiny, as long as the health and happiness of the family is her greatest happiness, She said she didn't dare to ask for anything else.

That day I sat on the roof and looked at the starry sky, I held my cheeks and recalled the night a few years ago, we also sat in a row on the roof and watched the stars talk about some whimsical things, and occasionally I would hold the lollipop that my mother bought for us, which was the sweetest lollipop, except for the sweetness, there was no taste at all, but I still liked it, but the north road always disliked it and said it was not delicious and stuffed it into my pocket. At that time, we always liked to ask Beilu to tell us stories, but most of the stories on Beilu were well-known fairy tales such as Snow White or Cinderella, and then as soon as Beichu heard the beginning, he couldn't help but run to Beilu and knock his head helplessly, "Yin Beilu, are you an elm head?" It's always these old-fashioned stories that you won't be able to marry a wife in the future. ”

Then Hao Ran would coax Beichu to tell a story, but Beichu also didn't know anything about reading, so we had to give up and tell interesting stories about our class, Beichu always happily laughed at the little boy who was sitting quietly behind her, and always told us the details of bullying him, and we were amazed to hear it, applauding and marveling at Beichu's courage.

When I was a child, I didn't understand what the concept of a goddess was, but in my psychological North Chu was the girl I admired the most, she could do anything she liked, she could not hand in her homework when she didn't want to, she could sleep when she was bored in class, she really couldn't sleep and go out to breathe, she could not write a word at all during the exam, even if she was called by the teacher, even if she saw the teacher blowing her beard and staring at her, she didn't care, Even if Yin Taoze is often called to school to perform a bitter love scene, it can't stop her from thinking like this next time.

Beichu seems to be like that, and he will definitely do what he wants to do, and his mother always says that Beichu just doesn't hit the south wall and doesn't look back, but Beichu always retorts vaguely with braised pork in his mouth, "Even if I hit the south wall, I won't necessarily turn back, maybe I'll be addicted." ”

When did we all start to have our own wider world, meet more people and discover more wonderful things, forget the people at home, forget the laughter at home, forget to share the joys and sorrows of the day with our family, the time of each day seems to be so rushed, and it seems to be late at night when we stop every day.

My mother didn't know when she walked up to me and kindly touched my head and said, "I really can't think about it, in the blink of an eye, you are all so old, a few years ago you were just sitting here chattering about some strange children, and now you have grown into fifteen or sixteen-year-old girls, and my family is also a slim girl at the end of the north." ”

She stroked my hair, and after a while, a gust of wind blew and lifted her collar and said, "People are always more afraid of the cold when they get old, you should go back to the house early, this kid on the north road has been very busy with homework recently, and has not come back yet." ”

"What is he busy with, it feels like he is missing every day." Curious, I asked my mother if he was hiding a secret from us.

"I said I participated in an Olympiad class, but I'm not worried about him, it's mainly your sister, alas." She sighed and walked downstairs, I don't know what she was talking about along the way, I looked at her slightly hunched back, the wind blowing away her freshly washed hair, just like the hair she had worn as a girl.

When I looked back again, I saw a tall figure walking under the street lamp, the bag on his back still looked so heavy, and he was moving forward with concentration step by step, as if everything around him had nothing to do with him. When did North Road grow so tall? In my casual moment, he has grown into the handsome appearance he should be, no wonder Beichu always has a lot of rivals in love, so she has to strike first.

"North Road, come up here, I'm on the roof!" I waved my hand and shouted loudly to the north of the road, and the silence around me accentuated the decibel level of my voice. Beilu heard my voice and raised his head and smiled brightly at me, as if he had come by time machine under the yellowish street lamp, coming from the future world. Although his smile is separated by two floors, although it is separated by a road, it is still so vivid, so bright, like a spring breeze and summer rain, like this sky full of stars shining.

Many years later, Beilu became steady, elegant and meticulous, but no matter what he became in the end, that bright smile like the wind has always been preserved in my mind, and I can't delete it.

Within five minutes, Beilu walked up to the roof and sat next to me, smiling happily and teasing me, "Oh, today's happy girl from Beimo didn't go on a date and came back so early?" ”

"Because I miss you, I want to go home to accompany you," I replied with a smile, deliberately speaking very sensational, but Beilu is a person who knows me so well, naturally he won't believe that I will be such a delicate and squeamish person on a whim, and he glanced at me and said in disbelief at all, "It must be Cangnan who has something to do today and is not free to accompany you, right?" ”

"You are really a fairy on the north road, how can nothing escape your eyes." I couldn't help but exclaim, Cangnan's father came to see him today, so he had to stay at home with his father and couldn't come out, so I was embarrassed to disturb Xichen and had to go home in disgrace.

His eyes dimmed for a moment, and then it seemed like it was just my delusion. I sat on the roof with Beilu and talked about some messy gossip like before, and talked about some unattainable wishes for the future as before, and I asked Beilu if he still wanted to go far, and he said that he wanted to wander the world but also wanted to return. Beilu said that maybe the outside world is wonderful, but there will be no warmer place in his heart than this town. At that time, I only thought that this was a fallacy that the North Road had not yet seen the beautiful world outside, and it was only later that I realized how true and true these words were.

I share every moment of Cangnan with Beilu, share the childishness, share the warmth and simplicity of Cangnan, share all the things with Cangnan, Beilu listens and blesses me, and then jokes with me, imagining a beautiful scene for me in the future, I like to chat with Beilu, I like to see him smile softly and approve, I like to tell him all the things in his heart, whether it is good or bad, and then I heard others say that this is probably the most comfortable state between people.