Chapter 27 warmed a pot of nostalgia and wanted to drink enough of the past

When we were children, we always thought, let's grow up quickly, it's good to grow up, we can go to the outside world when we grow up, we can do whatever we want, we can no longer worry about being controlled by our parents every day, we can do whatever we want, so when we were children, we always shouted that we must go to all over the world to see and break through when we grow up. But when I really grow up, I miss the life at the bottom of the well so much, although the mouth of life is only as big as the well, but it is still carefree, and those little troubles are not troubles at all, who can go back?

The journey from the train station to home seems to have walked for a long, long time, and it seems that there is always no end, Beilu and I tried our best to find the original memories with Beichu, reminding her of those good memories, do you remember the time when we came here to swim secretly? At that time, Beimo's slippers were washed away by the river, and then we helped her find it for a long time and still didn't find it, Beimo cried a handful of tears and snot, but it was funny, sitting on the big stone and refusing to come down.

yes, and then I laughed unceremoniously at her on the sidelines, and then you gave your shoes to Kitamae, and you went home barefoot and got cut by a stone, right? Bei Chu turned his face to us with tears in his eyes and said with a smile, and then whispered to himself, "I still remember it, it seems that everything is retribution, no wonder you guys will join forces to drive me away, I have been an annoying person from the beginning." ”

"Beichu, it's not like this, you misunderstood us, we didn't mean to drive you away, we are all reluctant to you," I listened to Beichu's words like a knife, I don't know why Beichu has such thoughts, is it the pain she has suffered for so many years that makes her heart no longer remember all our good? Why is her heart filled with shadows that I can't see but are omnipresent?

"Why do you think you're so serious? I'm kidding you. Bei Chu looked at me and came over to hold my hand and smiled to comfort me, but her smile was no longer as simple as before, but I watched her smile still melt in her bright smile pear vortex, I hope it's just that I think too much in my heart, it should be like this.

Before I got to the door, I saw the figure standing at the door, the weather-covered woman who had been depressed by the years, waiting alone in the wind until she saw our return. She wanted to walk faster, and even wanted to run over, but her legs and feet were no longer the vigorous and resolute appearance of the past, everything that had happened in the past few years was all pressed on her thin shoulders at once, her back was no longer straight, her face was no longer smooth and delicate, her steps were no longer vigorous and powerful, she slowly stretched out her hand to touch Bei Chu's face, but was preempted by the tears in the corners of her eyes.

I have fantasized about the scene of reuniting with Beichu countless times, fantasizing about how excited I should be at that time, what I will say, whether I will be incoherent, but it is only on this day that I understand that all words are not enough to express such emotions, all words are blocked in my throat, I just want to hug this long-lost reunion in front of me, I can't wait to tie her firmly by my side, and never leave my sight for a moment.

After Mom and Bei Chu looked at each other, Bei Chu cried bitterly and said, "Mom, I'm back, I'm finally back, Mom." ”

"It's good to come back, it's good to come back, my hard-working child, who tortured you like this," Mom hugged Beichu and cried bitterly, probably she also remembered her happy and beautiful daughter, probably she also remembered the clips of Beichu who quarreled with her with rice at the beginning, probably she also remembered the Beichu who danced in the sun and was praised by others.

Who tortured you so badly, and who made my ignorant woman such a mature vicissitudes?

After dinner in the evening, Bei Chu opened her heart and told us her story, spreading out everything she had suffered over the years in front of us. At this moment, I realized how cruel life is, how impersonal the world is, and how devastating reality is.

Bei Chu was heartbroken after being slapped by Beilu, but as I had a premonition at the time, she couldn't accept Beilu's accusations against her, she couldn't accept that she was the first person to slap Beilu, and she couldn't accept that she had been looking forward to it for so many days in exchange for such a result. So she stumbled into the familiar bar alone, she only cared about crying, only caring about getting drunk, but after all, she didn't know that from the moment she entered the bar, she was stared at by a pair of vicious eyes in the dark.

Beichu, who was already not strong enough to drink, was very drunk after a few drinks, she cried and made a fuss in the bar, at this time a lewd figure appeared close to Beichu, he sat next to Beichu and talked to her, so that the people in the bar thought they were acquaintances, but Beichu didn't know what was going on and was drugged by the man, and then everything went as smoothly as the man thought, Beichu was unconscious, he drove away from the scene with Beichu, called his companions to find a hotel, Then he vented his selfish desires.

When Beichu talked about this, he trembled all over, lying in his mother's arms, his voice choked and couldn't say it anymore, I couldn't imagine that kind of taste, such a pain that was worse than death. Poor Beichu was just a teenage girl at the time, and asked her how to bear all this humiliation and how to deal with her future life.

But this is only the beginning, just a synopsis. The men were worried that Beichu would cause them trouble when they returned, so they would go to the police station to report the case. After thinking about it, they simply decided not to do anything, took Beichu out of the province, and then found a remote mountain village in Anhui through connections. Due to the poverty in the village, many men have not yet married a wife when they are very old, especially the son of a family who is nearly forty years old and has not yet married a wife and has children.

Bei Chu said that he was already disheartened at that time, knowing that he had no turning back, and knowing that his life had been frozen. She was sold by the men to the family as a daughter-in-law at a high price, and since then she has lived a dark life. Because Beichu was bought by the family at a large price, her mother-in-law was harsh on Beichu, always thinking about the money, and she must not let herself do a loss-making business, so she always commanded Beichu to do the heavy and rough work at home, and forced Beichu to give birth to a child for their family as soon as possible, but Beichu did not fulfill their wishes, and in exchange for her mother-in-law's scolding, "It's really a sin, I spent money to buy a useless woman, I can't do any work and can't give birth to a baby." ”

Bei Chu picked up his arms to show us, the dazzling scars twisted and twisted, like a terrifying bloodsucking worm, those injuries are old and new, and even some of the blood scabs on the wounds have not had time to fall off, shockingly imprinted on Bei Chu's white arms are particularly dazzling, Bei Chu cried and said, as long as the mother-in-law is not satisfied, she will take off the hemp rope hanging on the wall and beat her, or directly twist her arms and waist.

This time I was able to escape because Beichu's father-in-law was sick, and my mother-in-law and husband hurriedly sent him to the hospital in the town, so Beichu found the opportunity to take the hundreds of dollars she secretly saved and didn't dare to stop escaping from the tiger's mouth and returned to her homeland, she was afraid of being caught by her mother-in-law again, so she had to hide in the police station, and by luck said the names of me and Beilu, I didn't expect us to be there, because it was the city we used to say we were going to when we were children.

After listening to the stories of Beichu over the years, all of us looked at each other speechlessly, but couldn't stop crying, these embarrassing memories will accompany Beichu's life, these nightmares are a must for her thousands of nights, every time she wakes up, she is drenched in cold sweat, but there is no one around who can hug her head and cry.

In all the time that follows, may you be full of sunshine every day, may all the good things in the future wash away the dirt in your heart, and may you overcome obstacles to regain the sunrise that belongs to you for a long time.

That night I hugged Beichu to sleep like when I was a child, but the two of them looked at each other speechlessly, I didn't know how to comfort Beichu's broken heart, I didn't know how to relieve her full burden, I moved my mouth several times and still didn't make a sound, just relied on Beichu's shoulders, listening to her well-proportioned breathing flowing in the air, this is probably the most restful sleep in more than four years, how long has it been since I have been so satisfied with such a solid feeling, I actually cried silently in the bed.

When I slept until midnight, Bei Chu suddenly shouted, and then convulsed unconsciously, her mouth was full of words, her hands and feet kept waving, I was kicked by her a few times before I really woke up, and quickly turned on the light to check the situation of Bei Chu. Her hands and feet were still shaking in a panic, as if they were breaking free of something. There were words in her mouth, but her voice was so low and high that sometimes she couldn't hear her words at all, but she could see that she was nervous, so nervous that she shivered and curled up together, and then after a while she shouted, "Don't move me, don't catch me, you beast!" ”

My heart trembled, I probably understood her dream, I gently called Bei Chu's name, trying to pull her back to reality from the nightmare, but Bei Chu was immersed in his own dream and couldn't extricate himself, and when he heard my voice, he thought it was a person in a dream, and desperately grabbed my arm and scolded loudly, "You old witch, you will be punished, if you try again, you will definitely be punished by God, you must not be beaten into the eighteenth layer of hell!" ”

Listening to Bei Chu's heart-wrenching screams, her mother and Bei Lu also hurriedly ran over, looking at Bei Chu's frowning, turning over and over everyone's hearts instantly tangled together, but no one can wake up Bei Chu, no one can let Bei Chu return to this warm reality, her dream is still tearing, she left the sad and desperate place, but she still doesn't want to let go of the dream, all she is thinking about is the terrifying city.

After a long time, Bei Chu was no longer excited, and just muttered to himself, "Guoguo, you must forgive me, you must be a useful person, you must not stay in that poor ravine anymore, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for you." ”

Although we don't understand who the "Guoguo" in Beichu's mouth is, but it sounds like it should be a child or a little girl who doesn't know the world, we don't have time to think about it, because Beichu has gradually woken up, and all our attention is back to her again, Beichu slowly opened her eyes and asked why we were all staying in front of her, her eyes seemed to return to the clear and bright when she was a child, she was wearing cartoon pajamas as if she was the girl a few years ago, and it seemed that everything had not happened yet.

It's a pity that although Bei Chu doesn't remember all the pain in the dream, he still remembers all the grief he experienced in reality, and he remembers it bit by bit, without any deviation.

Later, the beginning of the North said to me, you must not know the end of the North, I always thought that there was no pain in the dream, even if I was wronged during the day, as long as I slept well, everything would be happy when I woke up, so I reminded myself every night before going to bed, but now I understand that when you are eroded by sadness, all your cells will not let you go easily all the time, even if you are sad in a dream, you are not eligible for happiness.

Actually, I knew, I always knew, but I was afraid of her hysteria, so I never dared to say it.

The next day, we went to see Yin Taoze, who was getting more and more emaciated in prison, wearing an orange prison uniform, and his hair was cut shorter than before, almost revealing his scalp. His face didn't look as decadent as I thought, although he was thinner, his eyes were brighter, a little more calm than before, maybe it was the peace of mind that made the whole person look a lot calmer, he smiled and slowly walked out of it and sat down in front of the table.

Yin Taoze just went in and told us not to worry, in fact, he was not sad, he said that he was always very worried in the past, always frightened every day, always afraid to see the police car, hear the siren, always dare not stay in one place for too long, always dare not talk to others, and have deep friendships with others, always be ridiculed by others, timid as a mouse, like a coward, Yin Taoze said that life is like a bottomless pit, unable to see the light, curled up in the dark, hiding himself in the dark shadows of life. He said that this kind of life is very good, although the body imprisons freedom, the mind is liberated.

Yin Taoze stretched out his hand and put it on the glass, facing Bei Chu, who was sitting opposite, and said tremblingly, "Child, you are finally back, and I am also a wish, otherwise I will not be at ease even if I go to Jiuquan, it's good that you are back, you are still young and have a good future, don't give up, you know?" There were tears in his eyes, and a drop fell on his wrinkled skin, which looked even more vicissitudes, he sighed and said slowly, "I have also seen it all these years, it is not easy for people to live, don't be ashamed of your own heart, don't be afraid of your life, only a frank and unrestrained life will be happy, so you don't follow my old path, you have to live well, you know?" ”

"Dad, how did you become like this? How could you be a fugitive? I don't believe it, they must have made a mistake, right? You must have something to worry about, right? Tell me. Bei Chu looked at Yin Taoze, who was full of tears, she couldn't cry anymore, she couldn't imagine that there would be such a big change in her family, how could she not believe that Yin Taoze, who was honest and loyal and didn't even dare to do anything wrong, would be a criminal who had escaped for more than 20 years, she couldn't accept such a heavy blow, shook her head desperately, and chattered endlessly, "This must not be true, this must not be true, how is this possible?" ”

Looking at Beichu's completely unbelievable appearance, I remembered the days when Yin Taoze was arrested a few years ago, and remembered the morning of the accident, at that time, we were also desperately retreating like Beichu, I couldn't believe all this facts, I couldn't believe that the criminal who had been on the run for more than 20 years in the mouth of the police would be Yin Taoze, who had been with us for more than ten years, and we went from strange to familiar, from unwilling to call to call Dad, from keeping a safe distance to taking off our guards, and relying on the man from the bottom of our hearts.

Along the way, who of us has walked very smoothly, and who has not been beaten by life and retreated?

However, despite reality, we still need to transform into armor.

I still remember that year, I just entered the second year of high school, and North Road has just entered the flow of people in the third year of high school, the life of the third year of high school is very busy, there are many courses and the pressure is very high, North Road has to be busy at school every day until late to go home, every time I always get up early to go to school for self-study, day after day repeating the life trajectory of three points and one line, Yin Taoze and his mother have high expectations for him, and every time they remind him that he must study hard, he must pay attention to the combination of work and rest, and he must strive for his dreams.

That morning, Beilu still went to school very early, but he would not have expected that from that day onwards he would never be able to touch his biological father again, and he would no longer be able to talk and laugh under the same roof as before, and occasionally make trouble, the night before Yin Taoze and Beilu discussed which university to study in the future and what kind of career to engage in and chatted energetically, Yin Taoze also patted us on the shoulder and said kindly, "You are both smart children, you must study hard, so that me and your mother can also enjoy Qingfu." ”

His palms are wide and warm, and his gaze is earnest and sincere.