I'm still worried, if nothing else, she is around me, and I often feel like a prey, with inexplicable nervousness and a sense of being stared at.

On this day, when the old lady went to sleep, we were ready to go to bed in our rooms.

I tossed and turned.

"Wakalei."

I put my hand on him, and he rested his head on my arm, and I saw that he didn't feel sleepy.

"Huh?"

"I still haven't told my mother that Xiao Han intervened in my marriage."

He was silent.

I rolled over, and the night was blowing, and I was resting my head on my arm, and the white roof was gradually clear in the darkness.

I didn't tell her in the past because I was afraid that she would be worried, and Xiao Han has not shown up for so many years, and there is no need to go through these past events with her. Since Huaihai and I divorced, our two families have not interacted with each other, and Huaihai and his parents have never come to see Huaiping, so ......"

Zhang Ruolei stretched out his hand and silently took me in his arms.

"Do you still mind that?"

I was silent, not knowing how to answer his question. It had a big impact on my life, and to be honest, I still have reservations about marriage, relationships, and men.

I don't want to lie to him.

But I'm afraid that if I say this, he will misunderstand what I still think about Huaihai.

Zhang Ruolei was playing with the fingers of my right hand, crisscrossing and interspersing with his fingers.

"Do you hate Xiao Han?"

He asked me.

I don't think all of his questions today are easy to answer.

"Is it ......?"

He brought one of my fingers to his lips and nibbled them with his teeth.

"You can never truly forgive the person who once ruined your marriage. Even if you have a good and sincere other half of you? ”

I felt that the topic we were working on was a bit off, so I corrected it.

"Ruolei, we're talking about something else."

I pulled my hand out of his.

"I'm a little worried now, of course I'm afraid of Xiao Han coming. Don't say that the person who came is not good, to be honest, I have a little reason why she is so familiar with my mother behind my back. If I had confessed to my mom about the past, she wouldn't have opened the door for her. It won't lure wolves into the house. ”

I rolled over, faced him, and gave him a gentle nudge.

"Zhang Ruolei, do you know what I'm talking about? I'm worried about ......."

"How could I not know what the hell I was worried about? You are worried that your mother is recuperating here, and you provoke her, and the old lady does not know what to do, afraid that she will probably be really unfavorable to the old lady in the future. ”

"yes." I say. "That's what I meant."

I paused.

"But I'm afraid to tell her, she can't stand it."

"You gotta say."

Zhang Ruolei grabbed one of my hands back into his palm again.

"Not to say that she is likely to be taken advantage of, but at best she will be surprised. She is your own mother, the person who has hurt her own daughter, and no mother will give her a chance to appear in front of her child again. ”

He rolled over, too

Lying on their side, the two snorted to snort and eye to eye.

"Don't worry if she can't stand it. Compared to this time, since Xiao Han already knew the old lady's condition, and knew that she had a benign tumor, as long as she cut it off, it would be fine, why did you say she was hiding? ”

"That's right!"

I propped up my upper body, and suddenly I was sleepy.

"Zhang Ruolei."

I was a little angry, trembling all over, and even though I tried to restrain myself, I still couldn't help but tremble.

Zhang Ruolei also sat up.

"Look at you."

He took me in his arms in disgust.

"There's something I can't hold back when there's something in my heart. was angry like this. How did Zhou Yu die, do you know? What can you do in the face of stupidity? Is she angry or quietly knocking down the fool? ”

I like the way he feels like he's angry with me without asking, which calms me down a lot.

"How can you do that?"

He grabbed my hand with some force, and I was clamped tightly on my upper body. His eyes looked into the void and boundless darkness, and his tone was leisurely.

"If you expose your shortcomings like this, others will know your weakness, and people will end you up quietly. Remember. ”

He pulled me over and put my face directly opposite his.

"It's not the ability to get angry, it's the ability to make the other person angry. Most of the irritated parties are messed up, calm down, never forget, no matter what the future holds, no matter whether I'm by your side in the future, don't be a person who is easily provoked. Women have essentially zero IQ in both situations. One is to fall in love with a man with all your heart and mind, and the other is to be in extreme anger. ”

I was frightened by his serious attitude, and I chuckled and turned back to comfort him.

"Don't worry about me so much, I'm not that weak. Besides, I dare to show my true feelings in front of you. If it weren't for you, I would definitely refrain and refrain again. ”

That night, Zhang Ruolei was very talkative.

He asked me if I had ever seen martial arts. It is said that the true qi of the masters in martial arts can be used freely, and flying flowers and picking leaves can take people's lives. It's the same with being a human being, it's not that people are in a high place, but that everything can be used for themselves, emotions, feelings, rights, status, money, men, women, family, friendship...... All of them, they can easily navigate from it, and they can all be used by me to nourish themselves.

Only a fool would be stupid enough to let things that were originally just tools or tools of life become a burden or even a fatal wound to themselves.

I looked up at him, and I knew he wasn't as calm as he seemed, but I didn't want what he thought......

How so? I can't say well, there is a naked cruelty, with a sense of anger and blood. It's irrefutable, but I feel that if the truth of life is really like this, it's really not very interesting for people to live.

In the darkness we looked at each other.

"I'm sorry."

He took me into his arms, but I deeply suspected that he was trying to hide his embarrassment, at least, because he didn't want me to see his true side.

My heart sank. We are about to get married, and if there is no accident, I want to be with him for a long time, and I want to grow old with him. He also kept saying that the woman he loved the most was me. But ----- he never showed me his true face?

My heart became more and more troubled, and he hugged me tighter. I tried to push him away, but the thought bothered me again. It fascinated, lingered, and captivated me, and I never thought I'd ever doubt it.

Sometimes there are dilemmas in life, and suspicion is certainly terrifying, but believing everything will only make you feel like a fool, and it will also put yourself in a passive or even beaten position. No one has a pair of discerning eyes that can see through the heart of the person opposite.

When Huaihai betrayed me, I was also caught off guard.

"Gotta get it."

He shook my shoulder vigorously.

"Honey, stop thinking about those who have and don't. We're not talking about Xiao Han, how should we tell your mother? ”

"Your mother?"

I lifted my head from his arms and picked at his little words.

He chuckled, white teeth in the dark.

"Our mother, our mother."

He compromised and reluctantly put me back in his base.

When I was discharged from the hospital, the doctor also explained to me that the elderly should not be emotionally stimulated by joy, sorrow or anger. Because that would make her blood pressure soar. High blood pressure must not have done her much good after surgery.

I sighed.

"I don't know what to do! I said it directly, and I was afraid that her blood pressure would rise again. You were there when you were discharged from the hospital, and the doctor explained that you can't be stimulated, and you can't have emotional ups and downs. ”

He patted me on the back.

"Allow me time, I will think about it, how to say it, how to do it, how the old lady can accept it. Our community is also a little good, and unfamiliar faces don't have to think about being able to blend in. ”

I nodded, and the two of them slipped into the quilt together, he bared most of his shoulders himself, but helped me pull the quilt to my chin, and he glanced at the bedside clock and muttered softly.

"Oh my God, it's almost twelve o'clock again, go to sleep, and we'll talk about it tomorrow."

He yawned deeply, only to come to an abrupt end as the long yawn drew to a close.

"That's right."

He sat up, shaking his head in an attempt to make himself more conscious.

"Change your mother's mobile phone card, we must not welcome her. If she can't get in touch with the old lady, she won't be allowed to come and go freely. ”

I sat up too.

"Then what if she just asked the doorman to contact the old lady! Let's just say know. ”

Zhang Ruolei lay down satisfied.

"Daughter-in-law, that's it. The doorman is stupid, she can't contact the victim herself, can the doorman contact on her behalf? Even if the doorman is in contact, it is still in contact with you and me. Since our community has followed the trend and changed the management system of the smart park, it is much safer and cleaner than before. Rest assured! ”

He patted my hand.

"Tomorrow I'll ask someone to buy a new card and put it on for the old lady when I get back. I didn't believe it, I really didn't want to let anyone in

Can she still get through our door? ”

"But it's not a way for us to avoid her like this......"

"Sleep, sleep. Temporary, it's all temporary. Believe me. ”

After a while, he let out an even, powerful snoring. I rolled over, intending to put everything aside for a moment, the night seeping into my skin and fermenting in my blood and his. Sleepiness suddenly became heavy and brave, defeating all worries and unknowns.

He and I fell asleep.

Early the next morning, Zhang Ruolei went to help my mother buy a new card, and during the lunch break, he asked me to go back to help the old lady change it, and told me happily that he had already thought about the reasons needed to change the card, and asked for praise.

Privately, though, I don't think there's any need to make such a fuss. Why rush so much? It's the same if you take it back at night and change it. But I can't bear to whiff his enthusiasm.

Parking the car at the entrance of the community, the security guard smiled sweetly when he saw us.

"I heard that the old lady is sick, and just a person came to see the old lady with a lot of supplements, and the person called the old lady, and the old lady said that she knew her, and let us go."

Zhang Ruolei and I quickly glanced at each other, and our faces sank like water.

(End of chapter)