"Huaiping, don't listen to your mother, your mother is too sad. You listen to your uncle, don't listen to what your mother says now. ”

Zhang Ruolei hugged my trembling body and kept kissing my face with his lips.

"Meizi, Meizi, Meizi, listen to me, you calm down, how can you solve the problem if you are not calm? I don't know how to help you, Meizi. If you really bear it, I'll call your mother to come, your mother looks at Huaiping, and I look at you. ”

My mom?

yes, I still have my mother. The old lady who didn't save a day with me. My whole body was soft in Zhang Ruolei's arms.

Yes, I also have a mother, and my mother loves me. I buried my whole face in his chest and cried like a child.

Zhang Ruolei asked me to go back to work, and when I don't go to work, I will be thinking about it at home all day, but in fact, it's the same when I go to work, I often wander, and I want to go home to see my son every once in a while. Zhang Ruolei comforted me and said that he would not take drugs again, and I said what if he would? Do you pay me a son?

Zhang Ruolei said that I am becoming more and more unreasonable, and he asked me, is this how you have been in this life? Don't have a life of your own? Some of the parents who lost their independence are in their fifties and sixties, how did they get here?

And he said, At least thou hast a son, and thou shalt still see. You look at those white-haired people who are dozens of years old send black-haired people, don't they live? Why don't people live?

I know he's right, but I just can't turn the corner. I've been looking forward to it for so many years, and I've seen that good times are about to begin, and bad luck is coming to an end, but I didn't expect it......

I kept asking Zhang Ruolei why fate was so unfair to me?

He let out a long sigh and said that fate was the same for everyone.

I said, "Phew! Why not eat minced meat? That's your biggest doubt. ”

I don't pay attention to him anymore, my temper is getting worse and worse, I lose my temper at every turn, I want to fire people at every turn, my subordinate employees hate me to death, I am silent when they see me, and I don't have a good face with suppliers, and I am more and more difficult to deal with.

That's what I'm like that, I don't want to change. The people who make me respect, make me understand, have they understood me for a minute, have they respected me?

The law of the jungle is the law of the jungle, and this is society.

I installed surveillance at home, and I don't worry about him being at home. I didn't know anyone about this, and when I told Zhang Ruolei, he would say that I had no human rights and that I was a typical Chinese mother. But I'm a Chinese mother, don't just talk to me about human rights and obligations? What about responsibility? Has he done it? Why can he do anything wrong, and only demand rights but not obligations? Not thinking about other people's feelings? Just because I'm? Just because he called me Mom?

I don't agree!

After that quarrel with my son, the relationship between the two of us became more and more inexplicable, we got along with each other more carefully, everyone's nerves were tense, they were all fragile, and we all endured very hard.

I became more and more conflicted, hating him, loving him, and the intricate intertwining of feelings often made me emotionally uncontrollable. Sometimes I want to talk to him for a while after work, but when I see him, I think of him giving up on himself like this, degrading himself, and hating iron and steel.

I saw that he was cautious and didn't dare to breathe in front of me, and he was angry and hateful. If you're really afraid of making me angry, don't do those things that make me angry, and then pretend to be innocent in front of me.

But I know that he is also bitter in his heart, I feel distressed, I want him to get better quickly, everything is like a normal child, the more anxious I am, the easier it is to get angry, the easier it is to be unable to control my emotions, my language, when facing him, is more and more like a sharp sword, while chopping him, I also cut myself to the ground, and also cut all the beauty and family affection between us to pieces.

Is he the only one who is a patient? Am I not? Aren't we just two sick people tied up and hurting each other?

I was afraid to go home, but I was worried about him. I panicked when I couldn't see him for a minute, but I was sad when I saw him. I don't want to see him like that. But what about him? Want to see me like this?

Why, in the end, why did he choose such a path.

He didn't say why, I asked him when we were all emotionally okay, temptation, speculation, everything, but he kept his mouth shut, he bit hard, and refused to tell me half of the truth.

I tried to restore the truth of the matter through monitoring, but he behaved in a proper manner, he was like a born monk, he cleaned porridge and pickles at home every day, and even rarely ate meat, otherwise he would read books, stay at home all day, and not play games on the Internet, he was so well-behaved, and his pale little face looked clean and serene.

I looked at him like I looked at Cangyang Gyatso, he was such a pollution-free herbivore who didn't pose a threat to anyone, he was humble and polite to everyone and willing to be compassionate, such a little boy, why did he get into that thing?

Once, I saw him addicted. Like a trapped beast, he tied himself to the heating pipe, his body twisting painfully on the ground. I cried, into my phone, I wanted to die, I looked at him like that, I was helpless when I was a child, and I still couldn't give him happiness when I grew up. I might as well die. In this way, at least I will not see my loved ones suffering such inhuman torments every day in this world.

I rushed to Zhang Ruolei with my mobile phone, and I said Zhang Ruolei, you can help me get some medicine.

Zhang Ruolei looked at me.

I said you help me, I know you must have a way, you help me with the whole thing, K powder, cough drops, whatever, you help me, you help me with the whole thing.

Zhang Ruolei's eyes were red, he lowered his head, and his Adam's apple flew up and down.

I threw myself on his knees, my phone in my hand, my face full of tears. I begged him, and I begged you, and I begged you, and I begged you? Zhang Ruolei? Yes? For so many years, even if you treat me as a dog and ask for food, you trick me into prison, you bully me and I can't do anything to you, you bully me defenseless, orphans and widows, I beg you, you help me once.

The second generation raised his head, tears streaming down his face. The first time I saw him shed tears, but I didn't feel it. I just want to save my son now, my eyes are full of me, my head is full of him, his whole body curled up on the ground and twisted into the shape of a snake, and his head "clattered" against the wall.

My son, that's my own son, and my heart is torn together.

"Zhang Ruolei!"

I cried in his office, I knew in my heart that he couldn't and wouldn't help me, but I knew that he could be ruthless, so I found him.

When I calmed down, he sent me back to the office. He's been looking at me for a long time lately, and the way he looks at me is getting more and more complicated, and I can't understand it, and I don't have time to understand it.

My son was already over his addiction, he was lying on his back, I couldn't see his tears, I couldn't see the close-up, but I could clearly see the blood flowing from his heart.

Who exactly?

Who did this harm my son? I'm going to cut it with a thousand cuts!

Zhang Ruolei suggested that he pay for it and find someone to take care of it. I shook my head like a rattle. I said I don't believe anyone.

I cried after saying this, and I tugged at his shoulder. I don't know why I see the world the way I do, and I can't really trust anyone anymore.

I said Zhang Ruolei, I'm finished, I'm not a person anymore, I'm an animal, I'm a beast.

Zhang Ruolei hugged me and slapped my body again and again, but it couldn't soothe my sadness.

I whined and cried like a female beast who had lost her beloved son.

I said Zhang Ruolei, who else do you think I can trust?

He hugged me and said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." ”

Say I'm sorry!

Can you never marry me? Or did you frame me in the detention center in the first place?

Life is so hard, no wonder everyone is crying. We all expected it before reincarnation, but in the end, no one was able to fight reincarnation.

I thought that this journey was a journey of mountains and water, and there were beautiful scenery everywhere, but who knew that the reincarnation found that the mountain was a poor mountain, the water was bad water, the mountain was difficult to climb, the water was difficult to wade, and the most important thing was to grit your teeth and go on.

I sat quietly on the office chair and said to Zhang Ruolei, you go, I'm fine.

Zhang Ruolei turned around and left. Lately, I've been so scared of being alone, even if it's full of people outside, and I'm panicking as long as there's no one in the office, but I'm upset when people come.

After a while, Zhang Ruolei returned. He said that either the child was sent to a professional institution, and he helped to contact a foreign family, which was private, confidential, had a good environment, and people were more patient.

As soon as I heard about it, I was so nervous that I couldn't help it, and I couldn't wait for the hair on my whole body to stand up.

I waved at him and said no, I didn't even look at him in front of my eyes.

Zhang Ruolei frowned, "Meizi, let it go." If you keep going like this, you're going to go crazy. ”

My eyes were red again, and tears were gathering in them.

I don't look at him. Say, "Make me crazy." We look at a madman and he is a madman, and they look at us, so why aren't we a bunch of madmen? Is it bad to be a madman? Living in their own simple world, no one can influence their joys and sorrows. ”

"Otherwise, find a better babysitter. If you are afraid that the local people will not be at ease, I will go to other places to help you find it. ”

I raised my head and looked at Zhang Ruolei, who was straightened by me.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

Zhang Ruolei's eyes avoided mine.

"Why?"

I'm pressing every step of the way.

"Like me?"

I shook my head again.

"No, it won't. Like the woman you will chase. You're the kind of man you have to get. ”

"Why? Can you stop me from guessing? ”

Zhang Ruolei turned around, he left, and there was no answer left. I'm the only one left in the room. I turned on my phone and saw my son sitting on the cold floor, dumbfounded, just aimless.

"Come on!"

I said into my phone.

"You have to do it!"

I pressed my lips towards the phone screen, and my lips were trembling.

"I love you," I said, "and the person I love most in this world is you, do you know it?" ”

I muttered under my breath.