The night wind whistled across the body, and they fought ambiguously, but the result was equally ambiguous. The winter wind blew the body, but there was nothing to do about it, and it was in vain to see that it was able to shuttle through it with ease, and take advantage of the wind flow.

Zhang Ruolei's usual policy is to pull out a thousand pounds in four or two, and adopt a strategy of avoiding the important and trivializing my sensitive issues. But this time I didn't follow, I had to tell him the truth, I saw that his face was like the boundless night outside, the depths of the end in sight, the darkness silently whispered about his darkness, just like Zhang Ruolei's state of mind at this moment, he was also silently pouring out his thoughts to the darkness.

He doesn't need an audience, he's not like me, he's like a woman, and he has to find someone to share with when he has a big fart. He prefers to write all the past, the deceased, the hurt and pain, the happiness or sorrow into his heart, and the knife and axe are chiseled, which will not be eternal and indelible.

I turned my head to look at him, his thick black hair covering the angular, angular-shaped side of his face. His lips were inexplicably colored by smoke or time, and when he was silent, he tightened the two pieces into a thin line, where there seemed to be an endless mystery that you could not guess, and he remained silent after repeated questioning.

I turned my head, and my black eyes ushered in the endless night. In my heart, I secretly thought: maybe I shouldn't ask, everyone should have their own world in their hearts.

No matter how intimate two people are, the best state of existence is still to have a room, the human heart should be divided into the left atrium, the right atrium, the left ventricle, the right ventricle, the human heart has a gap, different rooms carry different responsibilities, weights and hearts.

No one can really exchange secrets or hearts. I can't do it either, can I do it all with Zhang Ruolei?

I answered my mother's phone call in the car, she said that she has not been in good health recently, and she is not good at any part when she is old, and she raised me alone when she was young, and when she was old, all the debts she owed to herself when she was in her prime came to the door and asked her for compensation. But they are all chronic diseases, and they cannot be decided. I think sometimes I don't want to see her because I don't want to see her all over her body.

People who are afflicted by chronic diseases are eaten away by diseases little by little to eat away at their health, spirit, and will...... It becomes gloomy and decadent. My mom is a tough character in life, and she never compromises or bows down to life easily. Especially in front of us, even more so, no matter how uncomfortable it is, we have to pretend that everything is OK.

After the new house was bought, I picked her up once to live, so that she came, but she didn't stay for a few days and was making a fuss about leaving, and I didn't follow, so she secretly ran home by herself while I was at work.

That time I was really angry with her and had a few arguments with her. But she didn't say anything, and later I learned that her old problem of back and leg pain had been done again, and once I was at home but my back hurt so much that I couldn't stand it, and I almost couldn't bear her to go to the bathroom.

I sometimes feel that her generation is like a conscientious and diligent old dog who has dedicated his life to his children, and is still reluctant to see them suffer because of their own burdens and sufferings. When they are not in good health or have sickness, they either stand up on their own, or they are alone and silent, quietly and willingly, waiting for the torture of the disease, or waiting for death to come.

They don't even moan in front of their children, because they're afraid that their children will be upset because of it.

She asked me if I was going back tomorrow and I said yes.

But she refused, saying that she had arrangements for tomorrow, and she wanted to go to the sisters who couldn't beat the old days. said that I hadn't seen you for a long time, and I had an appointment for a long time.

I groaned a little, and took it. Putting down the phone, he looked dejected, Zhang Ruolei covered his hand, looked straight ahead, and grabbed one of my hands.

"What's wrong? Not happy? ”

I was silent.

"Don't you feel abandoned by your mother? Baby, I want you. ”

He was comforting, and I felt better. I couldn't help but complain to him.

"You say my mom doesn't want me. I finally had time to see her, and her parents couldn't wait to put on the lights when they went back, so she was good enough for me not to have to go tomorrow. ”

"Mom, you don't know yet? I'm afraid you'll run back and forth, I'm afraid you'll be tired. ”

That's the answer I really want to hear, and sometimes it's always more convincing for someone else to tell the truth.

I changed my face instantly, smiled and grabbed one of his arms.

"Then ...... tomorrow"

"If you make a surprise attack and arrive early, you won't believe it. Can she, an old lady, escape the palm of our hands? Can she be earlier than us? Not to mention the fact that we have iron guys on four wheels. ”

I pressed him tighter, so that he could criticize me and try to seduce him. I chuckled out loud and said that whatever he tried to lure, he would take the bait.

He gave me a quick kiss on the left cheek.

"It's not anyone's hook. You know? ”

He squinted at me and smiled.

"That hook of yours is Jiang Taigong's fish hook, which I am willing to do. Voluntarily take the bait. ”

The conversation between the two of them was pleasant, but it diluted my resolve to find out more about his past. When I got home, I went to bed early, and the next morning, the two of us carried it with me back to my parents' house.

Rang the doorbell, the old lady answered in a panic, the door opened, seeing her look at us at a loss, Zhang Ruolei and I looked at each other and smiled, and there was the pleasure of the success of the trick.

After settling the things, she was in a hurry, and from time to time vaguely urged us to go, of course, I deliberately ignored it, and then when it came to what to eat at noon, we were going to buy vegetables, she stood up to send us out, and between the lightning and flint, she fell down violently, and I was dumbfounded, and then I saw her close her eyes, and the sweat on her head was like rain. I pounced on her, just about to hug her, Zhang Ruolei was calmer than me, asked me not to move, and said that if it was a cerebral hemorrhage, you would kill her if you moved.

I was like a lost dog, and I just kept asking him, "What should I do?" ”

Zhang Ruolei called an ambulance and told the basic condition of the old man, but the other party judged that it was not necessarily a cerebral hemorrhage, so we stayed where we were.

The old lady frowned slightly, and her eyes slowly opened a slit, and when she saw that I was frightened into this appearance, she had already weakly stretched out her hand to me, and I quickly grabbed it, and held the big withered hand in her palm.

"Mom. Why didn't you tell me if you weren't feeling well? ”

I wet her hands with tears and slowly descended her old arms

, she opened her mouth, and was about to say something, but suddenly she kept vomiting. Zhang Ruolei took a plastic bag and took my mother's spit, I can't care about tears, I want her to be healthy in front of me, I can't mess up first.

Only then did I know that tears are the most important and useless for a woman. It may make a woman pear blossom bring rain, but it can't win the heartfelt applause and respect of the world for the woman. Or it can win a man's momentary pity, but it is impossible for a man to have eternal love for her because of this.

I grabbed tissues from the dining table and poured warm water for her. She vomited for a while, but finally eased up a little. I knew why she didn't let me come under many excuses, and she didn't call me when I didn't come for so long, and a terrible scene arose in my heart: one day I opened the door of her house, and she was dead in the hall.

I blame her for resenting her, I hate her in my heart, I hate her for being so selfish, she is treating me with unfilial piety and injustice, and at the same time it will make me regret boundlessly. If that were the case, I would live in pain and regret for the rest of my life.

I don't hate myself, I hate myself for neglecting to care for her. People are such selfish, cold and shameless creatures that sometimes they don't have to look at others, look at themselves, or they can see the ugliest hypocrisy in the world.

"Why haven't you come yet?"

Zhang Ruolei called again, the ambulance in the city is by no means as it was on TV, it came at a fast pace, and Zhang Ruolei communicated with them repeatedly on the phone, but it still took time to wait.

Time became difficult, and I saw that her face was yellow, and then I realized that I had not seen her face well for a long time. I was planning for myself, I had long forgotten where I came from and where I came from, and I had forgotten her earlier. I only know that she has those old ailments, and it may not be enough to change anything, but I can at least come more, see her more, and take care of her more.

But I'm so entangled in mundane things that I can't get out of it. In her, everything about me came first, and in me, everything about her, never came first.

The so-called parents and children are nothing but a grand, reassuring disappointment.

Realizing this, I blushed for myself and cried for my mother in the world. I pulled out a wet wipe, dipped it in warm and moist water, and wiped it off for her.

"How long has it been like this?"

"Hey, it's all old and sick, I'm fine." She was still strong, but her physical condition was no longer in her hands, she was panting, sweating, and pale.

A shadow hung over me, and all of a sudden I was so scared of losing her. I have no father, and if I lose her again, I will be an orphan without a father or mother. I used to want to live or die, to die or live for a man, I thought he abandoned me and the whole world betrayed me, why didn't I know I still had a home at that time? And mom? When and where did she abandon me so cruelly?

Such a loyal person to me, such a cold and unsympathetic person, I was so stupid as to once feel sorry for the latter, and completely ignore the existence of the former.

I'm a stupid woman!

I turned my head and tears fell silently.

Women really want to

Learn to assign weight to your life and emotions. Otherwise, a lifetime will be wasted on someone who doesn't deserve it.

Zhang Ruolei gently picked up my mother and put her on the sofa.

"I see that she can move, and I am afraid that she will catch a cold." He explained it to me.

I'm so lucky to have him today. He rested my mother's head on his lap, and I saw the old woman now curled up as a baby, weakly curled up in the arms of her future son-in-law.

I will never forget this scene.

At this moment, someone rang the doorbell, I didn't wait for an answer, I swiped the door open first, I thought it must be the ambulance staff in place yet, but I didn't want the door to open, and I was surprised to see Xiao Han.

(End of chapter)