I'm a Tieguan Taoist.

When I was very young, maybe when I didn't remember, I was sent to Changbai Mountain to learn art, from childhood to adulthood, I was instilled with the idea of concentrating on learning art, cutting off the connection with the world, and the six roots are pure, so as to attain the Tao and ascend to immortals, and become an immortal that everyone in the world fears and admires.

I don't know why my father and mother would think like this, but when I grew up, I learned a little bit of the truth from him. I heard from my master that my parents were local officials at the peak at that time, and because they violated the laws of the Tang Dynasty, they were going to be connected to the nine clans, because my parents were once kind to my master, so they thought of sending me to Changbai Mountain, so that I could escape the fate of being beheaded.

Actually, I didn't feel anything, after all, I didn't even remember the appearance of my parents, but the words of the master were sincere, and nearly 300 members of the family were implicated and beheaded, and I didn't know what to say, so I could only make a sad look.

I think my perception of feelings is weak. This may also be related to the fact that I have not felt the love of my parents since I was a child, and the two people I am most grateful to and most respected and loved in my life are the master and him.

As the saying goes, a teacher for one day is a father for life, but I think that the master is my father, he took care of my food, clothing and daily life, taught me skills without reservation, and told me a lot of principles of life. I respect him and am even more grateful to him, thanks to him, I have a place to live, and because of my master, I have what I am today.

In addition to the master, there is another person. I never thought that after decades of separation, we would meet again on the battlefield, and this reunion would be goodbye.

For as long as I can remember, apart from the master, he has taken the most care of me, perhaps because of the master's entrustment, or perhaps because of his responsibility as a disciple of Changbai Mountain.

He is the big disciple of Changbai Mountain, the senior brother of all of us, he is deeply respected by the master, the master has said more than once openly and secretly, he will be the next successor, he is so good, there is such an excellent person by my side all the time, I naturally also have heard and seen, to put it vulgarly, I take him as a role model, I learn from him, listen carefully to the master to talk about those boring truths, day by day hard to contact martial arts, become second only to his disciple.

He was so happy and proud of me that some gossip spread, and at that time I didn't know what a broken sleeve was, and he told me that they were all jealous, and the grapes they couldn't eat were sour. Actually, I didn't think about it that much at the time, I just really talked to him and wanted to be as good as him.

However, it was not until the female pilgrim named Ming Qi came that I realized that all my efforts were to make me a person worthy of being his equal, and that I had been trying to get closer to his world, because of love, this kind of affection that was despised by the world, even I despised it, and thought it was not visible.

I didn't see his confused heart and didn't know how to put it, I thought that the life of the great disciple of Changbai Mountain made him happy, I didn't know that he was struggling so painfully, and he didn't know what he wanted. I don't know that he yearns for an ordinary life like that, experiencing the joys and sorrows, love and hatred of ordinary people, he can't cut his own red dust relationship, in fact, why am I?

These things that I can't see, were clearly seen by the woman named Ming Qi, the night before she left Changbai Mountain, I watched Ming Qi enter his room with my own eyes, I couldn't hear what they said, I only knew that she never came out after she went in, and there were bursts of ** voices in the room, even if I didn't know anything about the world, I knew what happened, I should have expected such an ending.

Since Ming Qi arrived, he and Ming Qi have been very close, at first I said to myself, he was just because of the master's request to be better to the foreign pilgrims, and then I couldn't deceive myself, I looked at his happy look when talking to Ming Qi, and looked at his attentive expression when he listened to Ming Qi talk about the outside world, this kind of happiness that he had never had, made him completely change unconsciously.

I didn't expect that after that night, Ming Qi was still gone, I pretended not to know anything, and kept silent about what I knew, he didn't seem to have changed, but I still found out that he occasionally had a little weakness in the face of the master, and he would be lazy when practicing, quietly looking at the blue sky alone, wandering while reading a book, with a smile on the corner of his mouth, he became more human than usual, I know, all because of that woman.

A year later, he began to become anxious and nervous, and my keen observation gave me a bad premonition. Just when everyone had forgotten about the pilgrim, she came back with a baby girl.

I know there's no room for maneuver this time.

It was the first time that my brother had such a big conflict with my master, I stood aside and watched, I didn't know what to say, my heart fell into a place of no return, but I knew that no one could change the decision he made.

As his most trusted friend, he handed over his most beloved woman and daughter to me, and I looked at his loving and gentle gaze, and I knew that I had lost. He asked me to send them to the house at the foot of Changbai Mountain, waiting for him to finish negotiating with the master, but that goodbye became my farewell, me and him, him and her.

It was really providential, no one would have thought that there would be an avalanche on that day, in the chaos, I only saw the white of my eyes, I heard Ming Qi's loud voice shouting for help in the collapse of the snow, I actually stood there, if I stretched out my hand, maybe she would not be buried in this snow. The cry of the baby girl woke me up, I suddenly blamed myself so much, why was I so selfish at that moment, I naively thought that without Ming Qi, he would stay, how ridiculous and childish my thoughts were.

I didn't have time to think about it, I almost fought with my life to save his daughter, I took his daughter back to Changbai Mountain, and told him about Ming Qi's death in an avalanche, he was heartbroken, I looked at the way he looked at me, for the first time in so many years, he was so full of resentment, he didn't look at me more, he didn't look at his daughter, he still left.

I looked at the baby girl, I wanted to keep her and accept her as an apprentice, but the master didn't allow it, and I couldn't cross the barrier in my heart, every time I saw this little girl, his hateful gaze, Ming Qi's desperate cry for help, and the sound of ** that night overlapped in my mind.

I still sent Mingfu back to Mingqi's parents' house, but how could people in such a small feudal village accept a child born to an unmarried woman who was pregnant, and later I learned that at that time, Mingqi's parents pretended to agree, and turned around and sent the little Mingfu to the brothel.

These are the biggest mistakes I have made in my life. For so many years, I have lived with deep guilt, hoping that one day I will be able to make amends for my mistakes.

A few years after this incident, the master passed away, and when the master was dying, he passed this position to me, and if he didn't leave, then it would belong to him, and I would probably be grateful to him for all this. I have taken in a few good apprentices, and I have been using various contacts to inquire about his whereabouts, and I have been keeping an eye on his whereabouts.

After he left, he set up his own door in Kunlun Mountain, and also taught a few good apprentices, I don't know if he was stimulated, he never asked about the world, and he didn't let his apprentices ask about the world's disputes, he still liked those anecdotes, and studied a lot of side ways, but I didn't expect him to be used in this war, and also gave us the opportunity to meet again.

Hearing the description of my apprentice's friend, when I heard the word Kunlun Mountain, my heart hung up, after hearing his narration, I was almost sure that this was him, he had never asked about the world, and this time he could go out of the mountain for his apprentice, which was also considered to be benevolent and righteous.

I followed to the battlefield, the bombshells were really one after another, before I saw him, I first saw a girl named Mingfu, the world was so small, as soon as I saw her, I knew that she was on his daughter, Mingfu's eyebrows and eyes were charming and smart, just like her mother. I hid it from him, and I don't think he would want to know, and I want this secret to be buried forever.

We met on the battlefield, and decades later, he still looks as high-spirited, exactly as I remember him. But his eyes when he looked at me were still full of bitter hatred, after so many years, he still couldn't let go, and I, how could I let go.

When I saw him, my sorrow swelled, so many years of the past resurfaced, how I wanted to untie the knot between us with him, but his hatred did not give me the slightest chance, and in the end, even though there were a thousand words between us, it turned into a war between us.

Over the years, he should have been diligent in practicing, and his martial arts have improved a lot, but I really know him too well, his weaknesses, his weaknesses, I know them all clearly, and he has not changed for so many years. I thought in a trance that he was still the same person he used to be, and we were still two little brothers who were fighting each other. But in the next second, I killed him with my own hands.

I don't know how I felt at that time, my mind went blank, and I looked at the drops of blood on the tip of the knife, and my heart was like a knife.

I confessed to everyone the crimes I had committed back then, and I took him back to Changbai Mountain, where we all belonged and where he belonged. I buried him at the foot of Changbai Mountain, I don't know if I want to be with him forever, or let him be with Ming Qi forever.

After settling all this, I sat down at his grave, and this life ended like this.

I think, like him, I don't want the stars in the sky, just earthly happiness.