(Girls' Literature)

I squinted my eyes, in the dim light of autumn, I squinted my eyes, and I could see clearly that the person who came was none other than the landlady and Li Xiaoshuai in her arms! "Mom...... Ma ...... "Li Xiaoshuai still called me so inarticulately, and the aunt walked over slowly with him in her arms, Xiaoshuai saw the large pile of snacks on the table, and kept looking at it, looking intently, full of anticipation.

I wondered if what I was doing was a little cruel, he was still a child after all, and I had imposed so many things on him at such a young age! "Come, grandma will bring you snacks to eat...... Aunt saw Li Xiaoshuai's eyes and kept looking at those snacks, she simply stood up and brought Li Xiaoshuai some snacks, Li Xiaoshuai's eyes still looked at me as if they were probing, I think he was still waiting for my answer. It's just that baby, you're still too young, and you don't understand your mother's hardships and intentions.

I sighed, "Xiaoshuai, have you forgotten what your mother just told you?" I just said softly, Li Xiaoshuai's hand was immediately behind his back, but his eyes were still a little reluctant to stare at the snacks placed on the table, and his little eyes were full of grievances. Look at you, the child wants to eat a snack, you don't have to be like this, you see the child is scared ......." the aunt said and stuffed things into Li Xiaoshuai's hand, "Come, take it, mom won't let you eat, grandma let you eat, come and take it, grandma is in charge......"

Li Xiaoshuai looked at the snacks in his hand, then at me, and after seeing that I didn't mean anything against him, he finally smiled happily. Seeing his smile without any scheming, I really wondered if I had just done something too much. However, Zou Jialiang just asked Li Xiaoshuai to call himself his father, which is categorically unacceptable in my heart! Yes, I don't care what others think.

"Xiaoya, hi ......" Seeing that I was deep in thought, my aunt sighed so deeply and shook her head, "Xiaoya, I didn't say you, I understand that Yunxiang is gone, you are in a bad mood now, but this person still has to look forward, doesn't he?" Auntie said in a tone that suddenly and slowly darkened.

I sniffed, my eyes began to dry again, I understand what these words mean by Auntie, and of course I understand what Zou Jialiang means! But Li Yunxiang is Li Yunxiang, he is not someone who can be replaced casually, in my heart there is no one who can replace Li Yunxiang's position, yes, there is no one! Regardless of whether he has a lot of money or not, these can't replace Li Yunxiang's position in my heart. "Don't talk about it, auntie, I don't want anything else......." I stubbornly twisted my head to the side.

Aunt sighed heavily, "Xiaoya, I know that you and Yunxiang have a good relationship, even if he has hurt you before, but I am from here, I won't tell you, Kang Hui and Kang Hao's father also went when he was young, but over the years, I have survived with two children, although I have survived, but do you know how hard it is?" Auntie said, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. Grandma, eat ......"

Li Xiaoshuai held a snack in his hand, and stuffed it into the innermost part of the aunt, the aunt nodded, and patted Li Xiaoshuai's head like this, "Okay, good boy........" I turned my head, tears had begun to burst at this moment, I understood what my aunt meant, and I also understood the current situation, but I really couldn't accept this question. My heart is completely closed, without the slightest crevice or hole.

Auntie must have seen what I meant, she nodded, and said no more, "I know, it will be more difficult for you to accept such a thing at once, but I look at what is the name of Mr. Zou, the person is really good, and he also treats Xiao Shuai well, his mind, I can completely see whether he is sincere, I can also see whether he is sincere, if he is really good to you and Xiao Shuai, why can't you go one step further." Even if it's for ......." Auntie was interrupted by me before she finished speaking, and I really didn't want to listen to it for a moment.

"Auntie, I know, don't say it again......." I finished and buried my head so deep in the quilt, these words, I really don't want to listen to these words, just listening to these words, I feel like I have to waste a lot of strength, although I understand that my aunt is saying this to me in the tone of a person who has come over, I also understand that the words are contrary to the ear, she said these are really for my good, but I really can't accept it for a while, not even the slightest........ this is also my feeling, but also my choice, Although it may not be understood.

Seeing that I was so resistant, the aunt could only sigh softly, "Okay, I won't say so much, Xiaoshuai, grandma go downstairs, let mom sleep for a while......" The aunt said and picked up Li Xiaoshuai and walked downstairs slowly. I was left alone in the room, and at this time the sky was completely dark, and the cool autumn breeze blew leisurely through the window, and blew on my neck.

I couldn't help but want to shrink my neck. Yunxiang, what should I do if I change? Looking at Li Xiaoshuai and you who are waiting to be fed, they just left like this, what should I do? In the future, is it just like what my aunt said, I have to use my shoulders to carry this family, and this more difficult road of life?

Although whether I like it or not, a few days have passed, and my illness is almost better, but I still don't want to accept the fact that Li Yunxiang is here, although I often run to Li Yunxiang's grave, and in front of the tomb, I sit for an afternoon, but this fact is still very resistant to this fact in my heart, I would rather believe that Li Yunxiang just went out to travel, or went to a relatively distant place.

But the black and white photo on the tombstone no longer reminds me all the time, Li Yunxiang has passed away, Li Yunxiang has left, you see, he is buried here now, completely buried here, in this world, there is no trace of his breath, and his imprint, yes, everything about him is no longer here, all I can keep is this tombstone, but why do I just think that he just went out to travel, or just went to a far away place? Why is that?

It's been a week, I will come to Li Yunxiang's side every day for a long time, Mimi feels sorry for me, and refuses to let me come by myself, but Yin Zhe told her, let's let Yaya go, maybe there, her soul can be healed, yes, the pain you brought me is painful to the bottom of my heart, not a sentence or two, but also a day or two can be cleaned, Li Yunxiang! What you have brought to me is a seismic change in this heart.

Every time I come out of the cemetery, I will meet Zou Jialiang, his figure is relatively tall, maybe the aura is also stronger, just like this, he stood outside the cemetery, looking at him, I just looked at him from a distance, after all, there were no words, in this place, I couldn't find any suitable words to communicate with him like this, I just wanted to be quiet, I just wanted to be alone with Li Yunxiang for a while.

But he didn't just come straight up and say anything to me, he just smiled at me from a long distance, the signature smile hung on his face, it still looked so warm, but, this warmth, I still can't accept it, I would rather choose this cold cemetery, and that cold photo. At least my heart is warm, and it is here that I am gradually getting closer to his place, the distance between me and you.

Walking out of the cemetery, I got on the minibus back to the city, his car followed me all the way behind the minibus, I didn't have to look back to see it, I closed my eyes, two lines of tears, just down my cheeks continued to flow, "Yunxiang, do you remember?" When I was on the bus, didn't you just drive behind the bus? The same distance, and almost the same scene, but the person in the car is no longer you, Yunxiang, I miss you back, it's been a week, I don't dare to close my eyes in the dark, I'm afraid of dreaming of you, I'm afraid of not dreaming of you! ”

The autumn mood outside the car window has become more intense, the leaves on the plane tree, almost all of them have fallen off, some trees are now on top of a bare branch, just like this in the autumn wind, slowly swaying, it looks really indifferent and depressed, sitting on the bus, I just saw these scenes, in my heart has already felt very desolate, don't you? It's so cold to the bone!

Fortunately, Zou Jialiang's car just followed me so far away, and I was afraid that he would get out of the car when I got out of the car, I didn't want to, I really didn't want to have any words with him. Day and night, I would curl myself up in the quilt like this, isolate myself from the gradually cold air, Li Yunxiang, you see, your departure has completely subverted my existence! I myself feel like a hibernating snake right now, I don't want to be disturbed, and I hope I never wake up again, you know? I don't like myself anymore, I'd rather shut myself off like this forever.