"The Salesperson of the Shroud Shop"

Chapter 2 is shortened

Yu Chen smiled: "While playing, buddy, this is a serious palmistry, you think everyone is like you, except for believing in yourself, you don't believe in anything." People who don't have faith are very tragic, I guess you will occasionally believe in it except when you need the help of your family's Baojia Immortal, and you don't even believe in your family's Baojia Immortal at other times! ”

Xue Hao put down the Elvis in his hand, obviously Elvis was extremely dissatisfied with him, and left quickly as soon as he landed. Xue Hao walked to the sofa with an indifferent face, and sat on the coffee table: "Yu Chen, don't tell me about faith, if you kid has faith, as for going to the temple to ask for a signature, ask for a no-sign?" ”

Xue Hao turned his head to Wu Yu and said, "Brother-in-law, you don't know, let's travel together on August 15 last year, passing by the temple Tiantian to ask for a sign, this kid is shameless and followed." As a result, Tian Tian begged to sign that his lover was by his side, and this kid was good, so he asked for a wordless sign. The old monks who unsigned were all blindfolded, and they thought they had a problem signing out! Later, the old monk in the temple was very polite and said to him, 'Young man, your fate is not in the hands of the Buddha, you go to the next door to watch!' ’”

Wu Yu almost didn't laugh: "There is another such one?" Didn't you say that the Buddha was in charge of everything, how could he still ignore him? ”

Xue Hao continued: "As a result, this kid Fei pulled me to accompany him to the Taoist Temple to ask, and the Taoist Temple Master personally went out to greet him. The first thing we said when we met was, 'Young man, you are not a thing in the pool, and your future is limitless.' I'm too small to let you in. ’”

Xue Hao laughed as he spoke, pointed at Yu Chen and said, "You are embarrassed to say that I have no faith, you yourself are not a Buddha who does not love me, and you are embarrassed to teach me." ”

Yu Chen glanced at Xue Hao: "Damn, Lao Tzu doesn't believe in those feudal superstitions, Lao Tzu believes in science." I don't need those feudal superstitions to take care of me, and I don't have to live well. The two of us have held so many funerals for others together, when did I get into trouble, didn't I get out of the way? It is my belief to believe in science and oppose superstition, and don't use your uneducated head to slander me, a believer in modern science. ”

Xue Hao handed a cigarette to each of the two: "Don't put gold on your face, you are still a scientific believer?" Have you ever seen someone who believes in science and opposes superstition to show palmistry to others, if you believe in science, don't let people burn incense and paper when you hold a funeral for others! Didn't you watch the TV say, you won't be allowed to burn paper on the Qingming Festival, and you should pay attention to environmental protection. ”

Yu Chen lit a cigarette and scolded: "Fart, if you don't burn paper, how can you smoke people's tears without smoke." Not immediate family members, a few of those who attended the funeral were able to cry. If the chimneys of so many large factories are not treated, can burning some paper have the smoke of factories? Besides, I don't see palmistry is not a feudal superstition, Lao Tzu is analyzed according to human physiology, palm prints are everyone's and are different, this is related to DNA, do you know what DNA is? ”

Xue Hao's eyes widened, 'Oh! "As far as you are concerned with human physiology, don't say if there is such a subject." We grew up together, I don't know how much ink you have in your kid's stomach? In junior high school biology class, except for the careful listening to the physiological structure of the girl's puberty, you didn't sleep in any other class. In addition to counting the menstrual period of the little girl at your table, you have to use a calculator to calculate addition and subtraction within 100, and you are embarrassed to tell me what DNA, maybe when you heard the noun on TV, take it out and pretend to be a cultural person with me. ”

Yu Chen came to the end, and walked in front of Xue Hao with his arms and sleeves folded, Wu Yu thought that he was annoyed and angry and wanted to fight with Xue Hao! Unexpectedly, Yu Chen pointed at Xue Hao and said: "The hero doesn't mention the courage of the year, you don't talk about the past here, are you embarrassed to talk about me?" Stinky shameless begging for a marriage sign, the old monk cried as soon as he took the sign, young man, you have three lives in marriage, and there are no three lives in the next three lives. You have nothing to do with my Buddha, and we can't accept you as a beginner, so you can do it yourself! ”

Xue Hao looked indifferent: "That old monk has a funny mind, if he can see that Lao Tzu's upper three gave birth to three lives, Lao Tzu will go over and kowtow to him three times." I just know my marriage in my own heart, and I don't need others to say it. ”

Yu Chen smiled: "Yes, yes, don't think I don't know your little Jiujiu, don't you just like sweetness?" You have been chasing Tiantian for almost two years, and now the relationship between the two of you is still the same as when you first met, and you have a few farts. ”

Xue Hao seemed to have been poked in the underbelly, his face was red and his neck was thick, and he stood up and scolded: "Yu Chen, you kid will be damaged!" Lao Tzu was going to chase Tiantian, if it weren't for your kid in front of her in front of me for those unbearable pasts, Lao Tzu is now a father, and you are embarrassed to mention me chasing Tiantian. ”

Seeing that Xue Hao was in a hurry, Yu Chen couldn't help laughing, and said unhurriedly: "Then I can't help it!" Who made your kid unclean and self-conscious, it's okay to go to the massage room to find something small. Sister. If you look for it, you can find it, and let the anti-pornography person be arrested, don't call me if you are caught! If it weren't for Lao Tzu taking the money to redeem you, your kid would still be squatting now! I let you take the little money to the old bustard, I have no money to redeem you, I can only borrow money from Tiantian, there must be a reason to borrow money! I'm such an honest person, I never like to lie to others, so I have to tell the truth to Tiantian. As he spoke, he shrugged his shoulders towards Xue Hao.

Xue Hao was a little angry, took a puff of cigarette and said, "You kid are still honest?" You don't blush when you say that? While Xiaomin is sleeping, you will experiment with others, and you will put a hanged ghost on someone else, and Xiaomin will stick out her tongue for half a month. Tian Tian asked you what's going on, how do you answer others, do you dare to say it yourself? ”

Yu Chen's expression froze, and he coughed twice: "I admit that I lied, but it was only that time, not to mention that it was a last resort." ”

Xue Hao seemed to move back to the first game and sat back on the coffee table: "As a last resort? Then how do you calculate the matter of using Tiantian to experiment with psychic talismans? Fortunately, Tian Tian is a bit of a Taoist, otherwise Tian Tian's beautiful big eyes will make you blind. How do you explain it to Tiantian, you can say it yourself! ”

Yu Chen smiled: "That's not a lie, at most it's a nonsense." What's more, it was really a mask I bought online, but it was cheaper. ”

Xue Hao disdainfully 'bah', turned his head to Wu Yu and said, "Brother-in-law, you don't know, he bought ten expired masks from the Internet for two yuan, and said that he bought them from a specialty store for two yuan and ten masks for two yuan." You don't know how happy Tian Tian was at the time, and you thought that this kid deliberately didn't go because of Xiao Min's business! I didn't expect this kid to test the psychic talisman he studied on the mask, and almost blinded Tiantian's eyes, if it weren't for my quick reaction, using Baojiaxian to protect Tiantian's eyes, plus Tiantian is a bit of a Taoist, it is estimated that Tiantian's eyes will be wasted. This kid actually shamelessly said to Tiantian, saying that it was the normal effect of a high-grade mask. Brother-in-law, you go out with him, this kid didn't open your eyes! ”

Wu Yu was stunned for a moment, and couldn't help but look at Yu Chen, and suddenly felt a chill in his heart. In Zhaojia Village, Yu Chen opened the Eye of Heaven for him more than once, and seemed to remember that Yu Chen said that using psychic talismans can open the Eye of Heaven to those who can't open the Eye of Heaven.

When Yu Chen saw Wu Yu looking at him, he had to smile awkwardly: "Brother-in-law, don't listen to his nonsense, the psychic talisman has existed since ancient times, and there are no side effects." ”

Xue Hao hurriedly answered: "The psychic talisman has been there for a long time, and there are no side effects to be true." However, I remember that the psychic talisman can only last for a stick of incense, brother-in-law, he opened the eye for you, how long did your eye last? ”

Wu Yu thought about it carefully, it seemed to be a while, and each time it didn't last long, but he didn't see Yu Chen paste any talisman on him, and asked strangely: "Is that psychic talisman a piece of yellow paper!" Is it the kind that needs to be snuggly fitted? ”

Xue Hao glanced at Yu Chen in surprise: "You kid abandoned evil and followed good?" He asked Wu Yu, "Brother-in-law, the talisman he put on your body is not something else?" ”

Wu Yu shook his head: "I didn't see any talismans on his body, so he opened my eyes to the sky." ”

Xue Hao looked at Yu Chen: "What do you kid use?" It can't be a new invention! ”

Yu Chen smiled: "The one I used for Tiantian last time was improved by me, this time it can last for about a month, as long as my brother-in-law feels the change in yin qi, he can brake the eye of heaven and see the so-called ghosts." Well, my invention is good! ”

Wu Yu had a chill, it turned out that Yu Chen was not kind enough to open his eyes at all, it turned out that he was using himself as a guinea pig. It's good to be good, let people treat it as an experiment, and I'm actually very grateful to him.

Xue Hao nodded: "You are ruthless!" I didn't let my brother-in-law go. It seems that I have to stay away from you, lest you hit my idea of protecting the family again that day. ”

Yu Chen glanced at him: "Don't put gold on your face, you Baojia Immortals are not interested in studying it now." My current subject is the Soul Stacking Technique, which is what was written on the butt wiping paper I saw at my grandfather's last time. My brother-in-law and I went to Zhaojia Village this time and saw that thing again, if I can study this subject clearly, maybe I will become the first immortal. ”

Xue Hao blew a puff of smoke at Yu Chen: "Your grandfather used that thing as a butt wipe, you really take it seriously!" Just because your grandfather has nothing to do and always sends things to the widow's house in the village, I estimate that the old man can live for several more years without practicing any immortality, provided that your grandmother doesn't beat him. I think you'd better stop, buddy doesn't want to be your immortal experiment. If you really plan to study immortality, I don't think it's very reliable to study that soul stack, you can discuss it with you to raise that Wang Ba, let it lend you that shell to wear for two days, and it is estimated that you can also live forever. ”

Wu Yu was amused by Xue Hao's words, but he didn't expect Xue Hao to not only dismantle the stage powerfully, but also hurt people so philosophically. Because of Yu Chen's previous experiments with him, Wu Yu's little revenge also came up, and he said seriously: "I think Xue Hao's words make sense, that Gu Yuehong studied the soul stack, and didn't he also put his daughter in the end!" You'd better not study that thing, or according to what Xue Hao said, borrow a turtle shell from the turtle you raised, maybe you can really live a long life with the turtle shell on your back! ”

Yu Chen glanced at the two people in front of him, and the two thought that Yu Chen was angry! Unexpectedly, Yu Chen suddenly walked to the counter and touched the basin-sized turtle, and muttered silently: "The thousand-year-old king and eighty-thousand-year-old turtle, it's okay to study it!" ”

The two were stunned for a moment, only to see the turtle glance at Yu Chen, and then quickly shrank back into the turtle shell.