1. My daughter-in-law was on a business trip, and my sister-in-law came to the house, I asked her to go back to eat and arrange for her to stay in a hotel and then go home, and when I got home, I found my daughter-in-law sitting in the living room. I was surprised: "How did you come back?" The daughter-in-law said coldly: "I came back by plane!" I happily asked, "I'm done?" "Not yet, I have to go over tomorrow!" "Then ??? you" "My sister is here, I don't worry about coming back to see!" I was unhappy: "That's your sister, what are you worried about, I'm not that kind of person!" The daughter-in-law sneered: "You said the same thing to my sister back then..."

2. Yesterday morning, a new female worker came to the workshop, who was very beautiful, sexy, and a little temperamental...... So he got to a male worker and said to him: "This woman is so perfect! If I can marry her, I will be willing to ......live a few years less." The male worker said: "If you get her, you may live a few decades less! Your uncle! She is my wife!"

3. In the past two days, Feng Da has chapped lips, and when I saw a female colleague wiping lipstick, I teased her, "Brother's mouth is cracked, wipe your lipstick for me!"

4. After drinking the soda, put the pull tab of the can on your finger and ask your boyfriend if it looks good? My boyfriend looked at it and said it looked good, but I said shyly: Then you still don't understand? My boyfriend thought seriously for a while and explained clearly. Then, I went downstairs to the supermarket and carried two cases of soda, and told me to let me do whatever I wanted, and it was not enough for him to buy it again......

5. Someone fantasizes that one day when they have money, they must buy a Porsche sports car.

And when he was really rich, he found that driving a Porsche didn't feel so good, because "he couldn't see what it was like to drive a Porsche".

As a result, he asked his friend to drive, took a taxi himself, followed behind, and said to the driver, "Look, that's my car!"

6. The classmate raised a husky, and he was naughty every day, not to mention, and actually peed on his pants! The angry classmate tied it to a chair, "dare to pee on my pants, see that I don't use a belt to whip you". I was unleashing, my classmate's father opened the door and came in, looked at the dog, and then looked at the classmate who unleashed, alas, let you find a girlfriend and don't look for it, it's actually ......"

7. That year, I was in my hometown to catch a market, and when I went to the public toilet, I heard a conversation between two men next door. A: "TMD, there is a barbecue seller near this toilet!" B: "Your nose is smart! The smell of the toilet is so strong, you still smell the smell of barbecue?" A: "Made, who threw the barbecue skewer into a pit!" almost stuck my ...... in the gut"

8. When I went home today and helped my mother clean up the house, I found an envelope in the crack under the bed, which contained more than 200 yuan... I immediately took it to my mother and said, "Look! Dad's private money has been found by me..."My mother calmly took the envelope, put it back in the crack under the bed, and said: "Your father has been saving this money for 20 years, every time I clean up the house, I open it to take a look, I really can't bear to start..."