1. When I came out of the Internet café, my hungry eyes were full of gold stars, only to find that I had no money on my body... Passing by a steamed bun shop, Harazi flowed out, and then a beautiful woman at the door carried a few big buns and waved to me while shouting: Come and eat! The child swayed and cried behind me, and then ran over: Mom, is he your new boyfriend......?

2. The first time I brought my boyfriend to my house, my mother was adamantly against the two of us being together. Boyfriend promised: "Auntie, please believe me, although I only have an electric car now, for Xiao Wu, I will work hard to make money, in the near future, I will let Xiao Wu sit on the ...... of Daben" My mother slapped her boyfriend and scolded: "You stinky and shameless, you used this lie to fool me back then, fortunately I didn't marry you, and today you still want to lie to my daughter......?"

3. In the school dormitory, the water in my cup was always secretly drunk, and I wrote on the cup with correction liquid: "Don't drink", the water is still decreasing, one day after taking the medicine, I don't want to eat two pieces anymore, I threw it into the cup, and the next morning I just sat down, and I heard a boy in the back of the deep voice complaining: "It's ruthless enough, it's drugged!"

4. Patient: "Doctor, do you have any magic medicine that can cure my sleepwalking?" Doctor: "There is a box with special items in it that can cure you." Every day when you go to bed, sprinkle the contents of the box around the bed. Patient: "What's in the box?" Doctor: "Thumbtack." ”

5. A man said to a woman: I will give you 500 yuan, you take off your clothes and let me touch them.

As soon as the MM woman heard this, she put her clothes away. . .

The man watched it for a long time but didn't touch it, and the woman said: Hurry up!

The man said, "I don't have any money!"

6. The company issued a set of work suits, as well as a white shirt, I got up early and saw my mother sewing the buttons of the shirt for me, I: "The new shirt, why are you sewing it?" Mom: "I see that this button doesn't seem to be very strong, just your big belly, if it collapses....., how embarrassing!"

7. In the past, the high school entrance examination was closed-book, but when I arrived, it happened to be the first open-book examination. I remember that when I was taking the history and politics exam in the high school entrance examination room, a buddy put the book on the table to read, and then the invigilator came over to him and said, "You can put the book on the table and read." I was stunned by the student's answer: "Teacher, I'm used to watching from below." ”

8. Mathematics representative: "Chubby, you have to hand in your math homework!" "Chubby: "Can't hand it in!" Section representative: "Have you done it?" "Fatty: "Did it!" "Why don't you hand it in?" Chubby: "When my dad checked, he found that none of me was right, so he tore it for me!"