One

The prince said to the knight, "Brother knight, the princess next door has been captured by the dragon, let's go and save her!"

The knight said: Your current level is not enough, let other princes go, you have practiced your sword and then go, anyway, there are princesses who are arrested every year.

Prince: Okay!

The next year, the prince came again to ask, and the knight stopped him again.

In the third year, the fourth year, and until the fifth year, the prince's swordsmanship still did not improve, but all the princesses were caught, and there was no need to catch them.

The prince puffed up and said, "It's all your fault!" It's done! I can't fight the dragon, I can't prove myself, and I can't marry a princess! You are responsible!

The knight said with a strange expression: ...... All right.

The next day, the guards came to report that the knight had been captured by the dragon!

The prince's eyes lit up, and he immediately picked up his sword and set off to rescue him.

In the dragon castle, the knight looked into the distance and said to the dragon: He is not at the right level, you must let him know?

The dragon, with a blue nose and swollen face, lay on his stomach and said, "Oh."

Then the prince arrived, and with a sword he struck down the dragon, and the knight stepped out of the castle.

Prince: Go back!

Knight:...... Why are you so powerful, I'm still worried that you can't beat it, so let it let you.

The prince pouted: Nonsense, I've been practicing for so long.

Knight: Why didn't you grow before?

The prince whispered, "If you have grown up, you have to save the princess......

The knight interrupted him and said, "No, I will say no if there is progress."

Dragon: Annoying! Please, go away!

Two months later, Long received a packet of candy.

From: Weibo

Author: @一元Q太

Two

"We will judge you, and shut your consciousness in a dark room forever until the time of your death; In a benevolent manner, we can allow you to bring a computer and be able to copy 1TB of files, and of course, you can use the most powerful compression technology available today to get as much content as possible. ”

"Will I lose my memory?"

"Yes, every child who is judged will, this is the cleansing of sins; You will only be left with the memories necessary to sustain the entertainment of your life. ”

You hesitate for a moment.

"So, can the computer have Internet access?"

"If you can't access the Internet, we will turn off the Internet port on your computer, and we will set up and down the article in the small black room, so that you will never think about fixing it again."

You fall silent, and you start thinking about how you can arrange the 1TB if you don't have access to the internet. Game? Book? *****？ But these things are all stand-alone, and they will quickly make you bored, and what can really make you last for a long time may be an interaction?

"I need some compressed files of the smart VMs so that they can pretend that other users are interacting with me, and they will continue to evolve."

"How many virtual machines do you want?"

"As much as you can."

There was a moment of surprise.

"You're smart and know that the best way to play is the one that gives you hope, so you decided to create a small LAN world in the little dark room."

You ignore the compliment, you are silent for a moment, and then ask.

"Can I choose the little dark house myself?"

"Of course."

So you pick up the map, pick a place that looks good, close your eyes and wait for the result, and finally, the solemn sound of the verdict begins to be heard around you.

"The little black house has been chosen, the trial is about to be executed, and in the little black room, no one else will ever come to find you."

So, you're locked up in a small dark room: Earth, and your consciousness is attached to the newest computer of our time: humans, and you begin to manipulate it. At the same time, the 1TB compressed file you brought with you automatically generated 7 billion virtual machines to interact with you, and an appendix on your computer called the appendix, which was used to connect to the interstellar network, was shut down as promised, and was considered the most useless part of the computer to be ignored forever.

From: Silver needle / Zhihu

Three

After talking about business, I drove back to the company alone, and I had to go to the hospital for a check-up today.

Halfway through, I suddenly felt a little hungry, and out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a small noodle shop in a small alley next to me.

The name of the noodle restaurant is very charming, Acacia Noodle Restaurant.??

There are no guests inside, maybe it's because of the environment as well as the time??

The boss sat at the counter, looking thoughtfully out the door, and he didn't turn to look at me when I came into the store.

"Boss, what do you have here?"??

"There is only lingering in the Acacia Temple"??

"What?"??

"Acacia shop only has noodles"??

“。。。”??

"Okay, then give me a bowl of wrapped noodles"??

The noodles are here, the soup is very small, and the noodles are all together.??

Add a candy egg.??

The appearance is too bad, right, I complain in my heart.??

It tastes good, the soup is very fresh, and the noodles are relatively strong.

After eating three times and dividing five by two, I was about to settle the bill.??

"How much does the boss cost this?"??

"Fifteen pieces"??

"Oh, okay"??

"One"??

I'm a little angry, what kind of black shop is this.??

"What kind of black shop are you? What's so precious? ”??

"The lovesickness of an infatuated lover is priceless"??

The boss replied flatly??

"If you're too expensive, do me a favor, and I'll waive your order"??

"What's the rush? I don't do anything illegal"??

"Go to the store opposite and say to the proprietress that I don't love you anymore"??

Why does this boss have such a bad taste? I slander in my heart, but I can't help it.??

The opposite door is a teahouse, the name is "Forgetful Teahouse"??

The hostess is in the counter on the right side of the door.??

When the proprietress saw me, her expression suddenly became a little excited, and she quickly regained her calm.

"I don't love you anymore"??

I said to the hostess.??

"Really?"??

"Yes"??

Two neurotic bosses, this boss lady is actually playing against me.??

"You drank this glass of love water from our store"??

The hostess poured me a cup of tea.??

This can't be psychedelic water, right? It shouldn't be.,You can put it in the noodles before you want to give the drug.??

I drank this glass of water, and the moment I drank it, I seemed to see tears in the corners of the boss's eyes.

"You go back and tell the boss that I agreed"??

I was very curious, and I went back to the noodle shop and told the boss everything.??

The boss was very excited and ran straight to the opposite side.??

I couldn't suppress my curiosity and waited for the boss to come back and ask him everything.??

After a while, the boss came over with the lady opposite and told me everything.??

The boss said: ??

He has always liked this proprietress but the proprietress used to have a good friend who fell into the torrent in an accident to save her. The proprietress has been waiting for the man for many years, in fact, everyone knows that the man is very likely to si, and the proprietress has also been moved by the boss's sincerity over the years, but the proprietress is unwilling to be sorry for the man.

So a year ago, the proprietress and the boss opened these two shops, and the proprietress and the boss said that if the boss could find a man who looked similar to the man before the man came back to him, and she said that he didn't love her anymore and drank the water of forgetfulness, she would agree to the boss.

Since the boss didn't know what the man looked like, he asked the guest to do this every time he came, and it continues to this day.??

I left, touched by their happiness.??

Coming to the hospital??

"Why are you here so late today?"??

"I was so hungry and ate a bowl of noodles on the road"??

"I said that the amnesia you had before is easy to cause a lot of sequelae, don't be careless"??

"Okay, doctor"

From: Silver needle / Zhihu

Four

There was a teenager in the village.

The boy was a little scoundrel.

The scoundrels of the teenager are embodied in the fact that they rely on credit for eating, the temple for their residences, and the daughter of their daughter who secretly digs up for drinking.

Over time, the land in the village was almost renovated by him. Many people's daughters are just three or four years old, and the wedding wine is drunk.

The boy can survive in this way because he can repay his debts with his own strength: every day he helps the villagers to do things such as renovating roofs, plowing in spring and harvesting in autumn.

All in all, the heart is still good.

There was a recruitment outside the Azure Building, and he saw a little girl in her early ten years old in the queue queuing.

The little girl has good facial features, but she is dirty, and at first glance she is so poor that she has no way out, and she is ready to sell herself to Qinglou.

The young man should take her away: Go and go, stay away from it, you look so ugly, this line of work is not for you.

The little girl was pushed farther and farther away, and only after reacting did she slap his hand away, and said angrily: Who is ugly! If I don't sell my body, I will starve to death?

The teenager looked disdainful: It's not easy to live? You come with me.

The young man led her to secretly dig up wine and drink, this person's family has a good background, there are peach trees planted in the yard, and when the wine is drunk, the peaches are basically eaten.

The little girl was full of wine and food, patted her stomach and squinted her eyes and said: I really look down on people like you who steal chickens and dogs!

The boy was so angry that he was about to become a pervert: Hey, you little white-eyed wolf.

The little girl ignored him and walked away.

A few days later, the boy was about to go to eat on credit, and saw the little girl queuing up to apply for a job as a bartender in a tavern.

The boy had long known that the tavern owner was a womanizer, and that he was a lot older, and that he was a big girl.

The young man leaned over and said lightly: Do you know what this boss requires of the bartender?

The little girl said flatly: I don't want to know.

The boy said to himself: It's good-looking. As for you.... Stay away, stay away, you look so ugly, guests and bosses will have no appetite.

The boy directly pulled the little girl away, who was not ugly, and wanted to lead her to another courtyard that he had already identified, where there must be good wine.

The little girl was helplessly led astray by the teenager again.

Thankfully, it wasn't long before the little girl finally found a reliable job.

The good times didn't last long, and the young man heard that there was a girl who was a maid for the official master, and she was stabbed in the night because she exposed that the official master had taken bribes.

That day, the young man looked at the official mansion and stood in silence all night.

Many years have passed, and the young man has entered the mansion of the year with one person and one sword, and stabbed the official master a full twelve times.

He laughed, and he was still laughing when he died in the fighting of the officers and soldiers who surrounded him.

After the boy died, he entered the underworld.

There is a problem here: he has not done anything good in his life, not only can he not be a human again, but he will also be thrown into the animal path.

... Damn, I obviously killed a corrupt official!

Frustrated, he lined up to become an animal.

At this time, the young man saw a woman in a black robe, who was patrolling from a distance with a group of ghosts, and the ghosts along the way were all respectful to that person.

This woman is very mature and good-looking, but the appearance of her face is unique and majestic, and it is difficult to approach.

When she walked to this side, she noticed the young man, and her brow suddenly furrowed, as if she looked at him very unpleasantly.

Immediately after that, she raised her hand and slammed the boy out of the team with her mana, and accidentally inserted himself into the humane team of the next life.

He didn't cry out in pain, and immediately stopped smiling and lining up complacently, but he was still a little puzzled before he was reincarnated: strange, does being an animal still require that he must be good-looking these days?

The reason why the boy had this doubt was because when he was thrown away,

I vaguely heard the woman say impatiently:

"Stay away, stay away, you look so ugly."

Source: Second Year Month/Zhihu

Apologies for the invasion and deletion

Five

The boy attended the girl's funeral,

He was so sad that he couldn't even cry.

He took out the smartphone that the girl bought for him.

Tell the voice assistant: "Delete the 'baby' phone number. ”

The voice assistant replied: "Second goods, why are you deleting me?" ”

He was surprised to find that

The girl did not die,

She lives in her phone,

replaced his voice assistant.

It must be her,

Every word spoken is so similar.

Love to pour cold water on him when he is afflicted,

When he's sad, he loves to send hugging emojis.

It must be her,

Sensitive and suspicious tears are still low,

Always tireless to ask,

Will you forget me?

And the boy did not tire of replying,

Are you stupid?

No, never.

Year after year,

The boy has been reluctant to replace this mobile phone,

But gradually, it is rare to turn on the voice assistant.

The girl has been living in a cramped mobile phone,

The boy's life is changing every day.

I went to a lot of new places and met more interesting girls.

I've fallen down a few times, I've been splashed with cold water a few times,

From a boy to a man.

And the voice assistant is slowly unable to keep up with the boy's rhythm,

Ask: I don't understand what you're saying.

afterward

The boy completely walked out of the shadow of losing the girl,

The girl also faded away in his memory.

Later, he met the girl he wanted to take care of for the rest of his life.

The girl said, your phone is so old, let's get a new one.

The boy was a little reluctant and turned on the voice assistant one last time.

The voice assistant still asked him,

Will you forget me?

It's so annoying, shouldn't I lie,

Let's be honest.

"Yes."

The boy told her that I had found a girl I liked.

The phone is dead.

There was no more answer.

The boy was still a little sad in his heart.

He probably didn't know,

The girl is long gone,

Voice assistants are just voice assistants.

But in the last year of being terminally ill,

The girl edited tens of thousands of custom replies.

She knew him too well,

How does he talk when he's happy,

How to talk when you are sad.

But what she doesn't know is that

Time is changing, boys are changing, everything is changing.

The last few words of the voice assistant, because the phone crashed, ended up not being spoken,

"You probably don't know that I'm trying so hard to be in your life a little longer, a little longer."

"You know, I'm never afraid of parting, I'm just afraid of being forgotten."

"But you still forgot about me."

"Goodbye, this time I'm really leaving."

"Super, super like you."

"Be good."

Zhihu: The ears of the ear know

Six

Li Gongzi felt that something was not quite right recently.

The reason is a girl.

That day, Li Gongzi passed by a steamed bun shop, was attracted by the fragrance, and entered the door to buy two steamed buns.

Li Gongzi took the brown paper bag, happily took out the money bag, and when he looked up, something had happened.

It's the sound of buns and money bags both falling to the ground.

Li Gongzi staggered back two steps and almost fled.

Subsequently, Li Gongzi fell into a strange circle, every day he couldn't restrain himself from wanting to pass by the bun shop and want to take a look at the girl.

The feeling of itching in my heart is like a lice that can't be scratched on my neck and is jumping to its heart's content.

Yes, Li Gongzi is a pure-blooded cat demon, he spent three hundred years cultivating his human form, and it took another twenty years to grow up, and now, he can finally find a partner.

Don't look at some people who are beautiful on the surface, but behind the scenes, they have been fighting for more than 300 years.

Li Gongzi was very excited, and finally when he passed by the bun shop one time, he couldn't help but call the girl.

"As soon as I see you, my heart is racing, my face is red, and I can't control myself." Li Gongzi sincerely recounted his situation, and looked at the girl who was also blushing affectionately, "My friends say that it's because I like you. ”

"They also say, you are my destiny......"

"Wait." The girl, who had been silent since Fang Cai, suddenly interrupted Li Gongzi and pointed to the long fluffy tail behind him, with a somewhat strange expression, "Are you a cat demon?" ”

was so excited that his ears and tails popped out together, and Li Gongzi had to nod his head.

"Cat ......" got a positive answer, the girl's face turned from red to white, and even her tone was crying: "You are destined to be paralyzed." ”

Li Gongzi was stunned, but he saw that a clump of green grass grew on the top of the girl's head.

"Motherfucking catnip."

Author: @嗷呜小哥哥