1. Substitute for a girl, he asked my master, have you seen Jay Chou's initial D? She was obviously a little excited: "I think you are very similar to Jay Chou in the film!" I smiled and said, "Girl, your mouth is so sweet, is it really similar?" "Well! you are all driving!"

2. A friend was strictly controlled by his daughter-in-law and was depressed all day long. I gave him an idea: "I'll take you to the boxing gym, let's vent well", he asked me, "How do I vent?", and I said, "You can use the punching bag as your daughter-in-law". In the gym in the evening, the coach asked me, "Did you bring that man sick?" I asked, "What's wrong with him?" The coach said, "That friend of yours has been kneeling in front of the sandbag all afternoon."

3. In the blind date, the woman asked: "What do you do?" The man replied: "The job that makes people shine!" The woman replied: "Tell me more specifically" The man replied: "What do you do?" The woman replied: "Engaged in the polymer physical covering technology on the surface of the mobile terminal!" The man said: "Speak human words!" The woman replied: ............

4. My wife is five months pregnant, and my husband has been immersed in joy.

On the weekend, my wife touched her belly and said, "Husband, my stomach hurts, it must be your cub who is kicking me again",

Husband: "This kid is not honest again, when he comes out, I will beat him up and relieve your wife's anger",

My wife immediately said, "No, no, he's still so young!" or you stab him now and warn him to be honest......

5. The family was watching TV in the living room, and my wife asked me: Do you say that men think that their wives are good for others? I didn't answer directly, but turned my head and asked my son: There are so many toys at home, why do you still play with Wang Xiaoming's toys next door? My son replied: As long as I haven't played with it, I think it's fun! I turned back to my wife and said: There is nothing wrong with this answer!

6. My cousin got a boyfriend a while ago and was tired of being together all day. Shopping together today, I saw her limping when she walked. Asked her what was wrong? She squirmed, and after a while she replied, "It's not because of her boyfriend." I was puzzled: "What's wrong with him?" she pretended to be mysterious: "One word, poor." ”

7. I was about to go to bed, the next room came from the sound of the eldest brother and sister-in-law arguing, what kind of noise this big night, curiosity came and went over lightly to see what was going on, only to hear the sister-in-law say: "You are disgusting! Get out!" and then there was no movement, I put my ear on the door to see if there was any follow-up, but with a force, the door opened!

8. More than a year ago, my husband divorced because of his ex-wife's infertility and married me after being introduced. Not long ago, I was watching TV with my husband with a big belly, and suddenly my husband's phone rang, and it was his ex-wife calling: "I'm pregnant...", my husband replied: "Don't think about me, we've been divorced for a year, and it's definitely not mine." Ex-wife: "I know, I just want to tell you that you are the one who has the problem." My husband looked back at me silently with a big belly.