Wednesday, September 1, 2010 Weather: Sunny

Today may be an insurmountable catastrophe for me, I never thought that on the day of the second year of high school, I would meet my father, who has been "missing" for half a year; He was standing on the corner not far from the school gate, he looked at me who had just walked into the school gate and suddenly turned around, and I could see that he was a little at a loss, and I would still be happy when I saw him, because finally, he came back and hadn't forgotten us......

As I walked towards him with my bag on my back, I saw five or six tattooed men walking towards him, and he looked at me and turned to run, but they still tripped his feet; I ran to them, but Dad had already been pulled into the car by them, and the car was gone......

I don't know how I shouted heartbreakingly, I was at the bottom of sports since I was a child, and I ran after the car that drove away...... Tears had blurred the traffic in front of me, and I blinked hard to see the car turn to the next intersection, and I finally gave up the chase. I ran to the small magazine store next to the road and begged the owner to borrow her phone and let me call my mother.

In the evening, I hid under the quilt and cried, listening to the neighbor's grandmother Liu persuade my mother and grandmother who were crying in the living room, and my brother, who started college, did not know all this.

Dad disappeared for half a year because he was pulled into the abyss of gambling by his so-called "buddies" and couldn't turn back; In the end, he lost all his savings, cheated his mother out of all the money they used to buy a car, and finally owed more than 200,000 gambling debts, so he didn't dare to go home, and now, he was violently arrested by creditors, just to force him to repay his debts......

I've always had illusions about my father's "disappearance", but I didn't expect him to make me realize the reality in such a way...... Really cruel for me and this family.

Friday, September 3rd, 2010 Weather: Rainy

Since the first exam in the first year of high school, I took the countdown of the class, and the teacher, including the classmates, has automatically added me to the ranks of poor students, plus my height is okay, so, there is no doubt that I am the bottom of the rows; So I automatically stood at the end of the class, and because there were 57 people, I was the last singular number to come out - one person sat in the seat of two people. It's okay, at least, in times of grief, no one will notice, and I can be presumptuous and cry secretly in the corner......

In the past few days, the whole family has been in an atmosphere of pain and struggle, my mother borrowed money everywhere to raise money for my father, because she promised the creditor to make up the money within three days, so that they were willing to let my father go home, the night my father came back, he knelt in front of my mother and grandma to apologize, the whole family was crying, and my grandmother's condition was also aggravated, at this time, I hid in the quilt to write this, I was really disappointed, to Dad!

Saturday September 4th, 2010 Weather: Rainy

It's really irritating to rain for three days in a row, and the dream is also wet at the moment, and I can't even wring it out.

My mother borrowed money from my two uncles early in the morning, and with the family's only savings, I finally managed to scrape together enough for 200,000 yuan in gambling debts, and my father promised that he would never gamble again. He promised with tears in his eyes, the first time I saw him cry, so I also believe that he will quit, and the calamity he brought to the family has finally passed, and we should all be able to pay it back.

Dad said that he would go out to find a job, would concentrate on earning money, and would love the family again. Everything seems to be hopeful, grandma is finally willing to eat a few more bites, and because today is my birthday.

My brother, as in previous years, has regular gifts in front of me, but since he went to college, they have been sent back by courier. On the way to pick up the parcel, I kept wondering in my mind, what is it this year? Isn't it Doraemon like in previous years, but now I'm everywhere in my room, even the stationery box and pen are Doraemon.

It is undeniable that the process of unpacking the express is really wonderful, full of hope and expectation, even if I feel that my brother should not have any innovation this time, but I am still so eager to see the gift. Sure enough, it was Doraemon again, but it was still very pleasantly surprised, printed with Doraemon's drawing board and easel!

Every time I see Banhua Chen Siwan and a few girls with good family conditions sketching with a sketchpad on their backs, wearing dance shoes to learn to dance, and playing the piano beautifully at the New Year's Day party, I am really envious, but only envy.

I practiced painting on my own in private, and my brother probably found out, otherwise no one would have known that I liked painting.

Really happy day, hopefully everything will be fine!

Monday, September 20th, 2010 Weather: Fine

Today, there is a "great god" in the class, it is said that his parents are the leaders of the school, but which specific leader, the "gossip woman" Li Yiyi in the class has not yet inquired, after all, even the gossip she doesn't know, everyone knows that it is more difficult. And the great god is currently sitting less than 20 centimeters in a straight line to my right - my tablemate!

Sneaking a glance, sure enough, it was the same as the legend, the neat and neat student's head, the white sweatshirt, and the whole person was so white that it was shining! No wonder even Chen Siwan, who was sitting in the front seat, couldn't help but smile gracefully......

I don't like this "great god" very much, after all, he broke my "elegant seat" alone, and there is a unique quiet......

Friday, October 15th, 2010 Weather: Sunny

Today, in the Chinese class, I was praised by the Chinese teacher, the teacher read my composition in front of the class, because I wrote a classical Chinese essay, so the teacher explained to everyone while reading, which was a great affirmation for me, and I was really happy.

However, my tablemate Liang Chenyi is really strange, he rarely speaks, he automatically moves the stool in and out of my seat, in addition, he always wears headphones or reads some books whose titles I don't have a chance to see, and it is rare to see him listen carefully, especially when the Chinese teacher reads my "classical Chinese", he still reads his books motionlessly and listens to his music...... I don't seem to have spoken a few words to him, he should be a person who doesn't like to study, anyway, I don't want to be a scumbag, I have to work hard, and I want to improve in this midterm exam.

Monday, October 18th, 2010 Weather: Cloudy

Grandma's condition has worsened recently, and since this week I have to go to the hospital every day after school to take care of my grandmother, because my mother has been working night shifts since my grandmother was seriously ill and taking care of my grandma in the hospital during the day, and my dad, he said last week that he got a job driving a taxi and never came back, and my mother called, and he said that he didn't have time to come back and wanted to earn a little more money.

I was writing physics homework under the energy-saving lamp in the hospital, but I still didn't understand the circuit, and I stared at the energy-saving lamp for a long time. Grandma's breathing with oxygen plugged in was faint, and I was worried about my grandmother's condition. The doctor said that the diagnosis should be observed, and the grandmother's condition is very complicated and life-threatening. Holding my grandmother's hand, I really wanted her to get better, I missed every time I walked to the door of my house not far from school, I could see my grandmother standing at the gate of the yard with a cane and looking in the direction I came back, I was really happy at that time, kind grandma, and childish grandma because I broke the flowers she raised......

Friday, October 22nd, 2010 Weather: Sunny

Grandma's condition was diagnosed today, it was heart disease and myocardial infarction, when the doctor told my mother in the office, I heard it at the door, the doctor said that grandma's disease has reached an advanced stage, all parts of the body have begun to degenerate because of age, grandma's days are numbered, and hospitalization is meaningless......

I cried alone in the bathroom for a long time, constantly washing my red eyes with cold water, over and over again......

When I arrived at the ward, my aunt's family had already come, and their eyes were wet when they looked at my grandmother's pale hair and thin arms. In the afternoon, I went through the discharge procedures, and my grandmother returned home, but, as if everything had no meaning of existence, in the days when my grandmother was still there, everyone realized the importance of companionship, cherished the people around them, and many people really didn't care, but when everything really had to leave, I knew how to cherish, it was really sad.

It's just that my father is the only one who can't get through since yesterday......

Dad, where the hell are you, grandma needs you, everyone needs you, come back quickly!

Sunday, October 24th, 2010 Weather: Cloudy

Grandma has been unconscious since this morning, occasionally waking up only to say that she can't see, and she keeps saying her father's name, the name of her only son. But Dad's phone still couldn't get through.

The neighbor's aunt quietly told her mother that she could go to the places where her father used to go......

So, I hid from everyone, ran around the streets and alleys of various small casinos, looked around the "smoky" and noisy venues, searched one after another, and the people in the casinos asked me who I was looking for?

"I'm looking for my dad, Jian Hua"

"Ao, it turned out to be him, didn't he just win a lot of money some time ago, and he has a son?"

"You talk nonsense, my dad only has me and my brother"

"Haha, the little girl is quite amazing! You can go to Jinse Garden, it's a pity girl, it's a pity, it's a shame to have a father like that, hey......"

Jinse Garden, these four words may be the most hated community name for me in this life, when I ran to the rich Jinse Garden, looking at the villas, I suddenly felt that I was really stupid, others casually said a name to lie to me, how could Dad be in this kind of place, I wiped the sweat on my forehead, and when I was about to turn around and leave, I saw a BMW car get off and look happy family, middle-aged women holding a tightly wrapped baby, And a middle-aged man who looked a little smaller than a woman stopped her waist and looked at the baby in his arms with a smile and a happy smile, what a happy picture he looked, but it was inexplicably ironic......

That man is my father, a man who already has a wife and a daughter, and a son......

I didn't have the courage to rush up and question him, I was afraid that if I was wrong, after all, when would my father drive a famous car with another woman and an unknown baby.......

I crouched in a corner of the Jinse Garden, and I didn't want to believe all this, and I didn't want to find excuses to convince myself over and over again that it was all fake, and it felt like the whole world had collapsed......

A pair of canvas shoes appeared in front of my eyes, I looked up at the person standing in front of me with teary eyes, as if I was at the same table Liang Chenyi, the boy looked at me curiously and surprised, he didn't speak, and when he was about to hand me a tissue, I ran away, ran all the way, shame, hate, and grief complex emotions were intertwined, I ran all the way, fell, and the pain of the stone breaking my knee was not as good as at this moment......

Monday, October 25th, 2010 Weather: Rainy

Today, my grandmother is gone forever, and that man, my so-called father, is still in a state of "disconnection".

Even the air was full of sadness, my brother was hugging my mother, I saw his red and swollen eyes crying, and his clenched fists, I knew that maybe everyone knew what was going on with my father, but everyone chose to let me not know, but unfortunately I knew......

Endless hatred choked in my heart, accompanied by tears, tears of missing my grandmother, I let myself completely sink into this sad rainy day, I hate rainy days! And I miss my grandmother!