[We ask for ~ existence, and we are afraid of hurting each other outside of existence; We are good~ should not, afraid of the future, not exciting; We ask ~ to understand, and after understanding, smiling has become pathological; We are good ~ bad and bad, let go, and we can do it all over again - Li Ronghao! 】

And H is the most mottled and gorgeous performance she has ever seen, the sky in this performance is very dark, but because of this fireworks, the whole sky is as vast as a sea of stars, dazzling and difficult to calm.

Since his parents divorced, Zhong Zixi has always been lackluster in many things. Because she feels that as long as she pretends not to want and doesn't care, there is no point in gaining and loss.

『Why, not offline? Didn't you say you're tired? 〗

『H, I want to ask you a question and hope you can answer me sincerely, is that okay? At the end, Zhong Zixi also added a sentence "I am very serious. 〗

He Yansheng looked at the last four words on the screen, and vaguely he could probably guess what the little girl wanted to say. Maybe he was a little selfish, he could ask her not to ask, or he could interrupt her wanting to ask or say that there was something to do today.

A qualified businessman is faced with a lot of problems, he can easily choose the safest way to avoid all uncertainties.

Obviously, there are many plans in his mind, but He Yansheng doesn't want to choose any of them. Because he didn't want to lie to her, he accompanied this girl through the most important youth of his life, but she also accompanied him from the warm and straightforward ivory tower to the ruthless rivers and lakes.

In the face of her, He Yansheng never has to think about weighing and weighing, how his heart is how it is, and it is always the most relaxed and comfortable state!

A certain blank space in my heart was just left at first, and no one could say what it represented. With such a simple and casual nature, he would rather get out of his comfort zone than let it be dusted.

Until many years later, He Yansheng is still glad that he made the original choice, they were people who accompanied each other, and such feelings are worth cherishing at the most simple and beautiful age!

Yes. 〗

In just two words, He Yansheng knew that behind this might mean that many things would never be the same again.

Big brother, what do I mean to you? If you bury it in your heart, you can really ask it and find that it is not as difficult as you imagined.

『Very important person, in my heart you are irreplaceable. 〗

So, what did that 'someone' mean to you back then? Zhong Zixi understands the truth of accepting it when she sees it, but she is unwilling, maybe there is a comparison from the beginning, so she wants to measure who this Libra will tend to after all?

To me, she may mean faith! 〗

Belief? That man was also Zhong Zixi's belief. She understands how important faith is to a person, and no matter how irreplaceable people and feelings are, there will be a day when they will be forgotten.

But faith is different, and faith is the hope of a person's life.

So, is your faith with you? 〗

Zhong Zixi didn't know how much courage this sentence carried her at this moment, so she could ask it in one go. There is always a clear reason for this kind of thing, and she can only learn if she knows today that tomorrow will still come, and the days will still pass

How will it be put down.

『No』H back very quickly.

Why? She wondered why they weren't together if it was so important.

Because I've been looking for her. 〗

Zhong Zixi didn't know what kind of mood the person on the other end was like at the moment across a screen, but she knew that she had already lost, have you seen her? 〗

I've seen it. 〗

A sentence of "seen" can make this man persist in the void for so many years, what else does she have to ask!

Time, fate, and it's really mocking enough.

A performance that did not appear was doomed to the end, and she did not lose to her own persistence. She lost to H's affection, a man who can insist on deep love to look back, is destined to be unwilling to give in for the rest of his life.

She had already lost her position, and Zhong Zixi looked at the screen in a slow daze. She hasn't had time to say her secret crush, she hasn't had time to convert her attachment into something else.

She hasn't had time yet, no, it's too late!

So, you're waiting for her, right? 〗

Right. 〗

I used to think that 'I want to grow up' was really longing for myself when I grew up, and I thought that I would have the initiative when I grew up, but in fact, the first topic after growing up only taught her the word "pain".

Time flies so fast, so fast that she has hurried past before she has time to enjoy it......

So that day, the avatar of 'I want to grow up' went offline never lit again, and since then, Zhong Zixi has withdrawn from the world of QQ, because a person is far away from a social software, and on the night of the eighteen-year-old, "I want to grow up" did it for "H".

In real life, Zhong Zixi learned not to touch the sensitive topic of feelings, and it was many years not to touch one.

This episode back then was really like a small fragment in life, in a flash, even Zhong Yu didn't know that her attachment ended without a problem, and the end ended in such a bleak way.

There is no other reason, Zhong Zixi woke up the next day and was clean and refreshing, as if he was reborn, without the slightest fatigue and loss of soul from yesterday.

When she was thirteen years old, Zhong Zixi began to learn to hide her willfulness and emotions after experiencing the failure of her original family; At the age of eighteen, Zhong Zixi experienced attachment and died without a problem, and she began to learn to pretend to be relieved and calm.

On the day the college entrance examination score came out, she saw that her score exceeded the passing line of Yuncheng University by 30 points, and Yuncheng University, as the longest-standing local university in Yuncheng and the leading university in the country, was naturally the first choice for Yuncheng people.

Zhong Zixi stayed in Cloud City without accident, in fact, the most important reason why she stayed in Cloud City. It was because Yunda had her favorite jewelry college, and on the day she filled in the volunteer, Zhong Zixi calmly picked up the previously filled volunteer book.

Other people's volunteer letters are all top-down colleges and majors, only her volunteer book is so simple that it is almost blank, and only the first choice is filled in with the college and major.

If you don't pay attention, you almost think it's a blank application form, and when you fill in the volunteer, others are nervous, but she does what she wants to almost indifferent.

Since neither attachment nor family can bring her a sense of security, she is not as good as herself

Give yourself a sense of security! From now on, it is simple and lively, and he specializes in art.

Zhong Yu is a history professor at H University, and Zhong Zixi has always been no stranger to college, perhaps because he has experienced a lot of things, and the age of eighteen looks like the mentality of an eighty-year-old.

Half an hour before going out in the morning, Zhong Yu put the red bean porridge on the table and sat down in the living room, and the mother and daughter started their daily eating mode.

The tutor of the Zhong family has always been better, and Zhong Zixi originally had the habit of chattering when eating. Since that year, it has become extremely silent, but it has gradually evolved into a mode where most of them are now saying that Zhong Zixi is listening.

"Xiaoxi, today you are going to the school to fill out the electronic version of the college entrance examination volunteer form?"

Zhong Zixi took a sip of red bean porridge and gave a vague "um", indicating that it was yes and said nothing.

This daughter has rarely let her worry about it since she was a child, and her vitality has become less and less over the years, and her temperament is surprisingly calm, even with joy, anger and sorrow, which are manifested in places she can't see.

She really controlled all her willfulness and requirements, and even had intimacy, which made Zhong Yu blame herself very much.

"Do you need Mom to come with you?" Zhong Yu asked tentatively.

"No need Mom, I can do it myself." She said lightly.

In the eyes of outsiders, Zhong Zixi is obedient and sensible, and he is the child of someone else's family in the legend. But she knows the unhappiness in her heart, how optimistic she was before, and how negative she is now.

For a while, Zhong Yu even thought about taking her to see a psychiatrist, but he was afraid that this would hurt her even more. At first, her depression and refusal to maintain relaxation made Zhong Yu worry about whether she would not be able to start a normal life if she continued like this.

I don't know if Zhong Zixi has been keeping it very well, or if she is really good.

Zhong Yu didn't notice any other symptoms in her, except for her love of silence, especially when she has become more and more silent recently, sometimes she can be in a daze for a long time.

"Xiaoxi, mom wants to talk to you."

Zhong Zixi sat precariously and looked at Zhong Yu with a smile. "Okay, Mom, what do you want to talk to me about?"

The sourness in Zhong Yu's heart tormented her heart all the time, if it was Xu Zixi in the past, she would definitely come over. The little head arched hard into her arms, lying coquettishly in her arms or holding his arm and refusing to let go.

Today's mother and daughter are just sitting face-to-face like a formula.

"Xiaoxi, mom wants to know if you're happy? all these years. ”

Zhong Zixi's expression was stunned, and when he looked up again, the clear and standardized smile in his eyes was Zhong Zixi's defensive mentality.

"Mom, are you happy? Have you been happy living with me all these years? ”

If you don't ask, it doesn't mean you haven't thought about it. The reason why I don't ask is because I don't want to force everyone, and I live with a mask.

While embarrassing others, it also increases your own embarrassment.

"I'm so happy that my mother can live with you, and having a daughter like you has never made me prouder than this." Zhong Yu's sincere eyes were not mixed with any other emotions.

Zhong Zixi picked up the paper box closest to him in front of him, took out the top piece of paper, and folded it into a beautiful shape.

Elegantly wiped the corners of his mouth and asked back with a smile.

"Really? Mom, I thought you were always uncomfortable when you saw me. Zhong Zixi shrugged her shoulders and pretended to be indifferent, her eyes always looked away unconsciously, but she refused to look at Zhong Yu, her eyelashes kept fluttering, and the tissues in her palms had long been torn by her.

Tiny confetti fluttered and struggled in the air, as if in the final battle.

All her small movements fell into Zhong Yu's eyes without a trace, and at this moment, as a mother, she would rather make a big noise or rebel, than the torture of self-harm now.

"Xiaoxi, you are your mother's daughter, watching you grow up, watching you smile is my greatest happiness every day, on the contrary, watching you suppress yourself a little bit, I am really unhappy. Mom doesn't ask for anything but to be herself instead of being so shackled like she is now, you know? ”

Zhong Yu raised her voice, and for a moment it was difficult to stabilize her emotions, and she wanted to force her to come out instead of keeping spinning in place like she had done at the beginning.

No one should live a lifetime with memories, or a mistake that should not be continued.

(End of chapter)