Meng Tianming thought about it and said his analysis.

"William VIII represents the other side of your heart. In fact, subconsciously, you also know that you are just a little woman, you can't be like Mary I, never marry for the rest of your life, not to mention, you now have a sweetheart. Dr. Meng said, "Why did you create a monarch like William VIII in your dreams, and why did this person look so hateful?" Because you feel that if you are a very scary person, the people around you will naturally not dare to come near you. You were a misfit kid when you were a kid and couldn't play with the kids in the orphanage. However, you want others to fall in love with you, but you want them not to dare to hurt you, so that William VIII naturally becomes your best model. ”

"William VIII likes to dress up as a woman, and even pretend to be the reincarnation of his ancestor Mary I, but in fact, this detail reflects a certain awakening in your dreams. At that time, you should realize that you may not be a man, but a woman. So, through the story of William VIII, you subtly express this subconscious. Dr. Meng continued.

"But, I, I don't want to be a man at all?" I say.

"You want to, because you feel that women are too weak and vulnerable. At the same time, you subconsciously hate being a woman! Meng Tianming's sharp eyes pierced my heart fiercely.

I lowered my head, but my fingers kept rubbing against each other.

"Mary, your mother's departure has made you have a strong hatred for women, especially those who have extramarital affairs and abandoned their families!" Meng Tianming continued, "You really want to change your gender, but you can't change it. So, subconsciously, that is, in a dream, you become a man, and you think that in this way, you will become strong enough to defend your lover. However, you know that you are not a man, so you will still be afraid, scared, crying, and screaming in your dreams. Even, when you get to the men's bathroom, you don't even know how to pee, because you're not a man at all, and you don't have the habit of standing up to urinate, am I right? ”

I was silent, and it was, and in my dreams I was not used to standing in front of the urinal, but preferred to go to the squatting pit. However, I was afraid that something terrible would happen to me. It seems that this is actually a manifestation of my inner reluctance to become a weak woman.

"As for the doll, it's the one you said was as tall as an adult and could talk." Dr. Meng paused for a moment and said, "Actually, it's another Mary, another incarnation of yourself. The ranger's daughter, the little girl, represents you who were helpless when you were a child. And this doll represents the other self that can protect you. You have been unsociable since you were a child, and your father's tragic death has happened, so you especially want to have a little friend by your side who will never abandon you like your parents! ”

"Is this the reason why I always dream of the phrase - 'Mary, we are always together, I will take you with me'?" It dawned on me.

"That's right, because you feel that only you, Mary, will not abandon yourself. And others, even your parents, will abandon you and betray you. So, you'd rather play with the doll alone and talk to it than look up and pay attention to others. ”

I stopped talking, and I admit he was right.

Indeed, in my memory, I really don't have a single friend, none of them. When I was very young, I only remember playing with the doll while the other children were playing together, and I was alone with the doll and talking to it, and of course, the doll couldn't talk at all.

My life is like a dead town. Here, I'm afraid there is no one else but myself.

"So, is the tragic death of the ranger's family in my dream also related to my subconscious?" I asked again.

"Yes." Meng Tianming nodded, "Your father died accidentally, so, in the dream, the carnation of your father in the ranger seat, he also died accidentally, by suicide." ”

"Where's the ranger's wife?"

"She symbolizes your mother, but in the real world, your mother did not die, but ran away with other men, abandoning your father and daughter. However, you simply cannot accept this outcome. So, in your dream, your mother, the ranger's wife, was killed by your father by mistake. This way, you'll be able to avoid the kind of intense psychological shock that the real world throws at you. ”

I was silent, indeed. Perhaps, I still can't forgive my biological mother, right? Even, as long as I see those women who are fornicating with men other than their husbands (such as: Pan Jinlian), I will have a strong hatred from the bottom of my heart! This is probably an important reason why I subconsciously want to change from a woman to a man, right?

However, I am still a woman after all, and in the end, I still fell hopelessly in love with a man - Wu Qiang.

"The family in room 108 of Ping'an Apartment you dreamed of is actually a refraction of your subconscious." Meng Tianming continued, "That girl represents yourself, in that dream, your father's role is missing, and your mother has lost the dominance of the family. That rosacea, your stepfather, is just as hateful as William VIII, and they symbolize a subconscious tendency to violence! ”

"Violent tendencies?"

"Yes." Meng Tianming nodded, "You have lost your parents since you were a child, and you are very unhappy in the orphanage, so you hate the people around you, and you have a strong sense of revenge and violent tendencies in your heart. The pistols, steel knives, shot put, javelins, sudden attacks from behind, and rough stepfathers, fierce William VIII, oh, even the fountain that spews nausea-making liquid, in fact, they are all insinuations of your anger and resentment. Of course, those protruding things, including fountains, actually represent the characteristics of men, and you think you understand this. ”、

Hearing this, I suddenly felt a little ashamed, and my face turned red. However, I understood what he meant.

"You want to be loved by a man, you want to be loved by a man. However, in your heart, you are afraid of love, and you are afraid of having that kind of intimate relationship with a man. As a result, these things will make you feel frightened and disgusted. ”

I lowered my head and didn't dare to speak.

"Do you remember how you got the gun in the first place?" Meng Tianming suddenly asked such a strange question.

"Huh? No, isn't it the one with a gun in his right hand? ”

"No, it's not." Meng Tianming smiled and shook his head, "You are mistaken, you are used to holding a gun in your left hand, because you are a left-hander." This shows that you are an emotional person, you are a person who thinks emotionally. And the average person is used to holding a gun in his right hand, which is the habit of the masses. ”

"So, so what?" I was stunned.

"You said that when you got a gun, you were obsessed with whether you had a gun in your left hand or a gun in your right hand, and that was because you were a left-handed person when you were a kid." Meng Tianming analyzed very seriously, "However, in the orphanage, a discipline corrected your habits very rudely, and from then on, you changed to your right hand. You have been using reason to suppress your emotions, but in this way, you have slowly developed a split personality. ”

"Huh? What the? "Suddenly another image came to my mind.

A woman whose waist was thicker than a bucket snatched the spoon I was holding in my left hand and spilled the soup inside. The soup splashed on my face, it was so hot! I covered my face and wanted to cry, but I couldn't.

"How many times have I told you, right hand, right hand, right hand!" The fat woman exclaimed fiercely, "Why do you still use your left hand? ”

I finally saw the fat woman's face clearly, yes, wasn't that the female teacher in my dream who scolded me because I knocked over the inkwell? It turned out that she was not my teacher at all.

"Do you remember? That fat woman is the nightmare of your childhood! As if sensing my thoughts, Meng Tianming said, "And the woman who is very old and has wrinkles on her face." ”

"Who is that person? Isn't she my principal either? I preemptively asked.

"Yes, she's just a lonely old woman living in an old house across the street from the orphanage." Meng Tianming said, "She would appear at the door of the orphanage every day, but you still remembered her firmly in your heart." Because, whenever you see her, you think of death and aging. ”

"Death? Senescence? ”

"Yes. It's hard to imagine that you were a child and think of death and old age. Meng Tianming sighed, not knowing whether he sympathized with my plight or felt helpless about my condition, "Perhaps, it is precisely because of your father's tragic death that Cai made you feel the pressure of death prematurely, right?" ”

"Death?" I thought of the man in black, and the invisible face in his black, and the scythe of death!

In the dream, the little girl was targeted by death, and she jumped down the steps next to the merry-go-round. Does this also mean that in my heart, I also want to follow in my father's footsteps and say goodbye to this world by jumping off a building? Also, that female student ran into the school building, and she became the old woman, jumping from the classroom of the second (third) class of junior high school, which is also a certain desire in my heart?

"So, what about the foreign language school, oh no, the fire in the orphanage? So, is it true? I thought of another question, "I thought it was Wu Qiang's fire, was it really him?" ”

"Indeed, there was a fire, and you remember correctly." Meng Tianming said lightly.

"What?"

"It's a fire, but it's a fire of your own imagination." Meng Tianming showed me a weird smile, "You imagined that you used a fire to burn down that orphanage!" ”

"Ah, what?" I was stunned, "No, it can't be, how could I imagine setting fire to the orphanage?" Why? ”

"Because, you think it's a prison, and you want to get out of there."

"Prison?"

In my mind, the prison in my dream came to mind again. The bars, the empty aisles, and the pale, bony hands sticking out from behind the bars!

"You hate it there, except for the woman whose waist is thicker than a bucket, and you are discriminated against by other children there, who don't want to play with you because they think you're evil." Meng Tianming said politely at all.

Every word he said was like a scalpel, poking into my chest and coldly dissecting every corner of my heart.

"You have no feelings for it, only hatred, you just want to get out of there as quickly as possible." He continued, "You want to set a fire and burn it there. But your intellect tells you: you can't do that! So, you make up a non-existent St. Mary's English school, and imagine that everyone in the school is burned to death, and only you, a male teacher, and a female student escape. Do you know who they are? ”

"Who is it?"

"Male teacher, of course it's Wu Qiang, who you have a crush on, and as for that female student, I don't need to say more, you understand."

"I, I see." I bowed my head.

"You dream that St. Mary's English School is on fire, but you can't put the blame on yourself, so you interpret it as someone else instigated you to do it. So, the fictional blonde 'Mary' became the culprit. Still, you stubbornly believe that she must have been forced by the headmaster or other teachers who looked like an old witch, as if they were to blame, right? ”

"No, no, don't say it!" I hugged my head, but a picture still flashed in my mind.

Fire, fire, fire! Fire everywhere! Everywhere there was a cry of despair! 、

There was a wolf-like howl in that voice······