"Why do I often cry when I watch a romantic movie or a touching story? For example, "Charlotte's Troubles", such as "My Girlhood". ”

Han Yi thought about it and came to the answer that it was more or less because he had experienced a scene similar to the movie picture, because empathy would make the softest nerves in his heart be touched and burst into tears.

Everyone looks forward to having a beautiful and happy marriage, and hopes that the person who accompanies them every day happens to be a person who loves and fits them very much. However, life is always a lot of helplessness, especially love and special suitable two people often do not have the opportunity to move forward together, even though the heart is extremely painful and regretful after a long time, but still can not forget the beautiful feeling of deep love at that moment, maybe just because the reality can not have such a simple and pure feeling, so the bottom of the heart is more and more nostalgic for the feeling of deep love.

More than two years ago, when Li Jia and Feng Zhiyao quarreled, they once asked him: "What do you think is the best state for men and women together?" ”

He didn't know how to answer, because he had basically never quarreled with Bai Xue, and the other thing was that they had been together for too short, so maybe he didn't even have a chance to quarrel.

What should two people be in the best state together?

Maybe it's just that two people feel comfortable together, and they have a lot to say together, and they don't feel bored even if they are relatively speechless.

Maybe it's like when you cross the street, you habitually take my hand and pull me to the inside of the road and walk on the outside of the road by yourself.

Maybe it's like when you watch a football game, I watch it with me.

Maybe it's like seeing that you're unhappy, and I just sit aside and don't bother.

Maybe it's like knowing you didn't have an umbrella with you, and having an umbrella delivered to you at the station you came home to.

Maybe it's just a deliberate effort to cook for you the dishes you like to eat while cooking.

Maybe it's like you saw something I thought I would like and bought it for me.

Maybe it's like when you come home and talk to me about the day······

Just like when Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang were together, peace of mind and trust and rely on each other, that is what I think is the most ideal state between lovers or couples.

Qian Zhongshu is very childlike in life, relying on Yang Jiang for everything, and pestering Yang Jiang to share with her when he encounters happy or bad things. Maybe for Yang Jiang, she is very relieved instead of feeling tired like taking care of a child, and she will feel that it is Qian Zhongshu who trusts her to be the most real, childish, unguarded, and not afraid of scandalizing her image and exposing herself nakedly in front of her.

Yang Jiang once described such a scene in the book "The Two of Us", the elderly they helped each other get a haircut at home, Yang Jiang used electric clippers, and Qian Zhongshu used scissors. Then Qian Zhongshu has always praised his extraordinary craftsmanship, the two of them joked with each other like children, and the dull time became warm because of such a deep understanding and delicacy, and it also had the breath of a cultural person.

But the same thing is also very different from the understanding of different people, let's make a comparison

Fang, even if we propose to give a haircut to our other half, the other party may feel that the haircut at home is very sweet and warm; It may also be that the other party will be very disdainful, and the haircut at home is not sweet and warm, and they feel that it is not as troublesome as necessary, and they may even feel that it is more beautiful and suitable to go to the barber shop for a haircut. And this emotional difference is a problem that the two are not at the same level and one height, and only people who are spiritually at the same height can taste such delicate feelings and achieve spiritual communication.

Because of love, you will become tolerant and accept each other's shortcomings, and you will not often look at each other's details and hold on to picking and blaming; Because of love, you will always worry about a person, because of the other party's joy and joy because of the other party's sadness and sadness; Because of love, I feel that I am no longer afraid and lonely in my heart, and I have become confident in everything; Because of love, the personality becomes gentle, laughing more and more, and grumpy less and less; Because of love, they become more and more dependent on each other; Because of love, I feel that ordinary companionship has become reassuring and calm; Because of love......

But when two people are at their best together, it's still not enough to just love each other. In addition to loving each other, we must also have a common language, a common life philosophy, be able to progress and supervise each other, learn from each other's interests, have the same living habits, have the same understanding and understanding, and be like lovers and friends together, which may be the so-called soulmate.

Everyone's heart wants to find the other half of this state, if you have met such a she/him, even if there are a lot of problems and pressures in front of your eyes, but if you meet such a person, you should cherish it no matter what.

Han Yi doesn't think that people want to have one love for a lifetime, but believe that they will only have a deep love for a lifetime, and if they miss it, they will never have it again, so they should know how to cherish affection, let alone think about whether the rose field can pick better flowers than they have······

There is a saying in "To Youth" that we love ourselves more than love.

When she looks at other people's feelings, she feels that there is nothing wrong with loving herself more, relying too much on love will eventually pass, but it is not the case when it falls on herself, she does not rely on Han Yi, but she relies on their love very much.

She thought she couldn't sleep in that house full of memories, but she didn't expect to move to Liu Xiyao, and she still couldn't sleep all night.

"Marrying him is the thing I regret most in my life!"

In the video chat, her once-best high school friend said this to her as she sat in the corner of a dark room with her hair loose, wiping her tears. Han Yi also knew this friend, but Han Yi was really arrogant at that time, and even Bai Xue didn't look at it very seriously.

Speaking of her friend, she was a campus celebrity in middle school. Not to mention her beautiful eyebrows, her skin is still very white, and she has black and shiny waist-length hair, even in that middle school when there is no distinction between men and women, she is also a class flower that everyone agrees on. Because of his outstanding appearance and good figure, he has naturally become a serious problem for most boys

Goddess. Boys admire, girls are jealous.

Her love has always been a model envied by others, she has been secretly in love since her sophomore year of high school, and she has always had a good relationship in college although she is in a different place.

My boyfriend has good grades, his family is rich, and he was admitted to an American university. When the two graduated, in order not to separate from each other, the two simply confessed to their parents and were together openly, and then she also applied for a visa and went to the United States to study together, because the grades were average, that is, they spent some money to choose a university casually, which is almost the meaning of accompanying the student.

still remembers that before she left, they got together to practice for her, Han Yi was "withdrawn", but she also participated in this practice party, but she didn't expect that Bai Xue and Han Yi, who didn't even say a few words, would become lovers, lovers who loved so deeply.

At that time, she was very high-spirited, and kept talking to them about how good America was and how much her boyfriend loved her. Her love is like a beautiful fairy tale, which makes these listeners only envious. Who knew that she had been in the United States for less than a year, and her state had taken a sharp turn like a roller coaster.

"I'm in a small town with a population of less than half a million, so sparsely populated and desolate that it takes more than an hour to drive to the nearest supermarket. The neighbors around me are all foreigners, and my English is not good, so I don't even have a single person to talk to. ”

When they contacted a year ago, they were already married. Bai Xue is also abroad, studying at Ka University, and every time she meets her on the Internet, her friends will want to grab a life-saving straw and pour bitter water on her.

"In the beginning, my husband was really nice to me, doing grocery shopping, cooking and housework, but he was also very busy with research, and often stayed in the research room until midnight before coming home. I was lonely at home every day, but he didn't understand me at all, and he didn't know how to comfort me. I don't think he paid attention to me at all, and I quarreled with him several times, at first he would coax me a few words, and then he directly said that I was doing it, and I had nothing to do. In the past six months, because his boss took him to do important experiments, he simply stayed in the school and occasionally went home and didn't talk to me at all. ”

When she first listened to her complaints, Bai Xue would comfort and comfort her with kind words, but after a long time, she couldn't stand the old accounts and crying over and over again.

Bai Xue, who wanted to be independent, asked her: "Since you feel lonely, why don't you find something to do for yourself?" ”

"I'm here to accompany me, what can I do?" She said.

"You can learn English." Bai Xue felt that her answer was a little unbelievable.

"English is so difficult, I can't memorize words at all, I can't memorize anything. And we will definitely return to China in the future, what is the use of learning English. ”

"What about exercising, trying fitness?"

"Ouch, it's half an hour's drive from my house to the gym, and I'm tired on the road."

"Otherwise, study the recipe and learn how to cook. Don't you often complain that American food is unpalatable? ”

"I'm too lazy, he usually cooks for me, and I don't want to cook it myself when he's not around, so I eat some instant noodles

All right. ”

Looking at the raunchy old friend in the video, who is obviously a big figure because of junk food and lack of exercise, she has mixed feelings.

"Marriage is really the grave of love, and the shelf life of love is really too short." When she cried to Bai Xue again about her quarrel with her husband, she interrupted her friend's crying.

Bai Xue said: "No, it's not like that! She looked up at the snow with teary eyes.

And Bai Xue paused for a moment and told her such a story.

When she was studying in Wales, England, she once met an elderly French couple with gray hair on a train.

The old gentleman wore a brown beret and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, and looked very Sven. What surprised Bai Xue was the old lady beside him, although her hair was white, but there was no wrinkle on her face, she was dressed dignifiedly, a black skirt looked low-key but noble, a beige coat made her appearance more gentle and kind, she wore a rose-like silk scarf around her neck, and from her body, there was also a rose-like fragrance.

The old man held hands, snuggled together, and watched the scenery fly by outside the window. She sat across from them and looked at them as if she were admiring a beautiful and warm painting.

The time on the train was long and boring, and they chatted with Bai Xue enthusiastically, and in the conversation, she learned that the old couple had been married for more than 50 years, and when they were young, they had always dreamed of traveling around the world, but because they had to work and raise children, they never had time. Now that both are retired and their children are grown, they finally have time to make their dreams come true.

The old gentleman said to Bai Xue in fluent English: "Unfortunately, now my eyes are dizzy, my legs are stiff, and it is impossible to travel around the world, so we discussed it and finally decided to travel around Europe." ”

Bai Xue said to them enviously: "The relationship between you two elders is really good, I really hope that I can be so happy when I am old." ”

The old lady smiled sweetly at her and said, "Little girl, this matter is easy to say, but difficult to say. ”

Bai Xue was in a state of semi-breakup at that time, and she was curious to learn from her.

She didn't tell Bai Xue anything directly, she just lowered her head and took out an old photo with some yellowing from her delicate handbag and placed it in front of her.

Bai Xue took a look, and there was a young couple in the photo, their faces were overflowing with youth, and it could be seen from between their eyebrows and eyes that this was the old couple in front of her when they were young. But if there is any change between them and when they were younger, the old lady in her youth was not as attractive as she is now, on the contrary, she looked just a mediocre woman.

"When we got married, there were a lot of people who said I wasn't worthy of him. He is a well-known figure in the university, handsome and smart. The girl who has a crush on him can fill most of the campus, and I'm just a quiet and weak little girl. But I don't know why, he just fell in love with me. The old lady said

, looked at the old gentleman who had been looking at him gently, the two of them looked at each other and smiled, and many emotions were reflected without words.

"I have always been grateful to Heaven for allowing me to meet him," the old lady continued, "and I have not allowed myself to be idle since I was married. He likes sports and sunshine, but I have always been thin and sickly, in order to make myself stronger and healthier, I began to exercise with him; I also started to learn how to cook, and I never went into the kitchen to learn how to cook a meal; I studied dance, knitting, English, and developed my hobbies. ”

"She's been working hard and she's been really good." The old gentleman interjected with praise.

"A few years, a dozen years, twenty years later, the people who once said I didn't deserve him were dumbfounded. Because they had never seen a woman maintain a twenty-inch waistline after giving birth to several children; And this woman can also hand-knit the warmest scarves and gloves, can dance five or six dances, can speak English fluently with foreigners, and can also arrange a dinner for more than ten guests by herself...... You know, French dinner has several processes of appetizer, main course, and dessert" The old lady recalled her past, and in her soft whisper, she could still hear a trace of pride.

"Girl, in fact, there are two secrets to having a love that will not fade for a lifetime. The first is to encounter a true love, which is given by God, and no one can force it. But the second point we can get through our own efforts, that is, we can constantly improve ourselves and let ourselves always have enough charm. This will allow you to remain elegant and awaken your significant other's feelings for you at any time. The old lady said this to Bai Xue.

(End of chapter)