Li Jia and Han Yi talked about a question that Bai Yang suddenly asked her a few days ago: What would you do if there were so many people who were in your circle of friends, and when you commented on them, they never replied to you?

Poplar is in her thirties, but because of her unhappy marriage and depression, she is withdrawn and has no work experience. She's not the kind of woman who always puts everything on her mind. Han Yi lent her money to open a coffee shop, although the anchor didn't have much money, but life was passable.

When she asked like this, Li Jia naturally understood what she was talking about?

"They never comment on your circle of friends, and you can take it for granted that they didn't see it; But when you comment on his circle of friends, he never responds. You can still see his replies to your other friends occasionally, and you, the one who never gets a reply, will still have something strange inside. ”

"You can think of me as glass-hearted, how strong a person must be to be able not to love face, and when he is not valued by others, he can grin and say, it doesn't matter."

Li Jia is a straightforward person, and almost without thinking, if it were her, she might never care so much about his circle of friends. It's not that he's cold, it's because you haven't arrived at his real circle of friends at all.

From the perspective of communication, the relationship between people must be a coming-and-going.

She said:

I'm not a big fan of defining friendship in flowery terms. Because the world is warm and cold, if there are three or five confidants and friends, it is enough, as for other people, if they can get close, it really doesn't matter if they don't come.

The loveliness of friendship lies in the warmth when you stretch out your hand, and the echo when you have dialogue, you can not be in touch for a long time, but when you meet, you can still be like a friend as before.

And those who never cared about your life, and didn't even know what you were doing now, so that he was at a loss for all the talking, were not friends at all.

You don't have to be too vulnerable, because you are the one who misunderstands friendship.

The relationship between people may not be so close.

But you have to believe that a good friendship must be a mutual watch.

She went on to say:

I have a friend from my youth who is now working abroad. When she returns home, she will definitely come to me. In fact, she and I only got in touch in the last year of college after being separated for five or six years.

She's very busy at work, and every time she replies to me, it's in the early hours of their evening local time, she finishes writing the design, and then buries her head in her head and starts her social hour.

She likes and comments, and every message must be replied to. Every once in a while, they would send me messages asking how I was doing.

She said that no matter how late she is every day, she dedicates time to social networks, because there is a group of relationships to maintain, some friends and some work partners.

I asked her if it would be hard too. She said, no. The people who maintain it are the people who need to stay around, and as for the rest, they rarely reply. Therefore, these people are extremely important to themselves, so they feel very happy and fulfilled because they maintain these relationships every day.

She smiled again and said: "The boss said a word, which is quite reasonable, he said that sometimes, not responding, is eliminating some unnecessary socialization; In response, you are maintaining a self-acknowledging communicative. ”

Many people's communication misunderstanding is probably that it is easy to misunderstand a relationship, so they misunderstand a relationship.

So, don't be too sad and sad if you meet someone who has never responded to your comment. He doesn't respond to your attention, not because he missed it at all, but you, just the one who doesn't deserve his response. After all, everyone has the right to self-sifting, and you just don't happen to be in it. ”

Li Jia's eloquent rhetoric made Bai Yang understand, and he admired and envied Li Jia.

Li Jia almost thinks so: If there is a person who has not liked her circle of friends or commented on her once, it means that he has not followed you at all. In his heart, he actually automatically blocked you, nothing more than not pressing the "circle of friends who don't look at him"; If a person never replies to your comments, after three times, he will automatically block him in his mind. I'm your invisible man, and you don't have to play the role of a living tiger in front of me.

Therefore, in her circle of friends, almost everyone likes and comments on each other, and the emotional counterpoint is just that you have your lifestyle, and I have my self-knowledge.

The world is very lonely, and it is also very angular, and there is not much meaning in lingering and regretting. Don't waste your time on an invisible person.

Friends like Li Jia and Han Yi all regard Poplar as a big sister, not out of sympathy, but out of true love.

She hopes that Poplar will find the person who will respond to her feelings, and also find the person she is willing to respond to to her feelings together. Try to live happily and don't care too much about those who don't care about her. Because they will not be moved or feel sorry for her, and she will be tired for herself to care about herself.

In Haidilao, which was still noisy in the early morning, Li Jia and Han Yi could be regarded as talking and laughing. But while chatting, Han Yi suddenly fell silent, drinking vigorously, although he didn't drink well.

He thought of a sentence: "People and people are best when they first meet." ”

Perhaps, when you first meet someone, it's like opening a new book.

Looking at the exquisite binding, my heart is full of anticipation and curiosity, a little uneasy, and there is a little joy of excitement, and I can't wait to know what story is told in it.

It is said that every love has to go through three periods: "the good feeling period, the run-in period, and the flat period." ”

When you first get to know each other, it's the period of goodwill. Start with what her name is, and slowly understand her preferences, her habits...... Whenever I find something similar to myself, I can be happy for a long time.

The same is true for boys and girls.

It is said that at this stage, a lot of "magical" things happen.

For example, you will suspect who stole the star and put it in his eye; The moment he turned around, there seemed to be a light behind him; Just by relying on a back, you can see where he is in the crowd at a glance.

You are afraid that there will be no topic to talk to him, for fear that you will become bored, so you start to pay attention to what he likes, and when you see funny jokes, you will tell him, and try to make him happy by all means.

He did the same to you, in order to send you home, he stopped by the east, west, north and south; As long as I'm with you, I love to eat both sweet and sour. I want to give you the best things in the world, I want to take you to the most beautiful places in the world, I am not afraid of trouble, and I am never busy.

I hope that time will pass a little slower and slower, and the time with him will be longer and longer, so that I can learn more about him and make love sweeter.

But love, just like Karen Mok sang in "Cloudy Day":

"At the beginning, every minute is wonderful, and everyone thinks that enthusiasm will never diminish, except for the little tiredness after the passion fades."

It's like buying a pair of shoes, and at first rubbing a little dust, you have to squat down and carefully wipe them clean, and later, even if you are stepped on, you may rarely bow your head. At first, he will feel distressed for a long time when you frown, but later, when you shed tears, he may not be so nervous.

You also find that he doesn't seem to be what you liked in the first place.

In getting along, they often even quarrel over some trivial things.

Maybe it's just because I've told him so many times, but his stinky socks are still littered everywhere; You want him to quit smoking, but it's actually for his physical sake, but he doesn't appreciate it at all. He is watching TV while you are doing housework, and he seems to be less and less understanding of your hard work; When it comes to birthdays and anniversaries, he doesn't pay as much attention to as he used to and sometimes forgets ......

So you start to wonder if he doesn't love you anymore.

It's just that you may have forgotten that at the beginning, you will be very grateful if he gave a little; Later, when you get used to the other party's efforts and he does a little badly, you will be unhappy and even lose your temper.

At the beginning, the two overcame many obstacles and finally got together; Unexpectedly, later, he lost to ordinary and trivial details.

I originally thought that "if you don't forget your original intention, you can always do it", but life tells us that "the original intention is easy to get, but it is always difficult to keep".

It's like that sentence on Weibo:

"The cruelest thing about love is that it has reached its peak from the very beginning of its existence. That kind of heartbeat, that kind of strong desire to harvest each other, and that kind of expectation that can't wait to reach the future, have all been advanced at the beginning of the relationship, and from then on, no matter how you go, it will be downhill. ”

And love began to deteriorate, probably from having nothing to say, to now having nothing to say; From the original "as long as you're happy" to "you're happy." ”

You don't need a specific reason to fall in love, and if you don't love each other, anything can be an excuse. In the end, those sweet pasts have become the most painful memories. Every oath of the mountain alliance and the sea has become a slap in the face.

"Can we get acquainted again, starting with your name."

In the face of separation, this may be the most sincere words of the person who is reluctant.

Just like the ending of the cartoon "Doraemon":

Doraemon has been with Nobita for 80 years, and before Nobita died, he said to Doraemon: "After I leave, you can go back to where you belong!" Doraemon agreed. But after Nobita's death, Doraemon went back to 80 years ago in a time machine, and introduced himself to Nobita when he was a child again: "Hello Nobita, my name is Doraemon. ”

I hope we can also have a time machine, when things are people, we have come to the end of the relationship, can we go back to the beginning, and accompany you through the ups and downs again.

It's a pity that we don't have a time machine.

However, when we feel tired and don't want to continue, we can think about the reasons for being together in the first place, and learn to tolerate and cherish.