Section 159: Psychological counseling

My mother stayed in the hospital for some days, and Cao Ge took me to go three times, and each time I went to see my mother, I didn't seem to feel anything abnormal about her except for weakness. Now that I think about it, apart from the age problem, the rest is heartless. After going to the hospital a few times, I couldn't help but feel that this adult was exaggerating too much in explaining certain things. Therefore, these three visits made my panicked and nervous heart instantly relieved to a certain extent, and then it became nothing.

Cao Ge has been busy with my mother's affairs, and I don't have too much mind to observe whether the relationship between me and my mother has been eased in a substantial sense, and the more this is the case, the more I comfort myself and have nothing to do.

My mother was discharged from the hospital on the thirteenth day of the first month of that year. After being discharged from the hospital, Cao Ge and Xue Hao insisted on arranging it in a rented house near Cao's house.

On the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, my mother did not come to Cao's house to celebrate the festival together, because she was too tired to lie in the hospital and did not rest well, so she had to rest at home. I didn't think much of it. In fact, at that time, my mother's physical strength was seriously overdrawn due to the examination in the hospital and the stimulation of drugs.

In the blink of an eye, the new semester is about to start. Cao Ge called me and Cao Cancan to his side again, and solemnly asked whether to repeat the grade, transfer or continue. There is no need to think about the answer, Cao Cancan's answer has already taken the top spot in terms of speed and weight.

In this way, I am inseparable from this Plum Garden No. 1 Middle School.

When it comes to going to school, I get scared. That kind of panic is not good to describe, in short, even if I am eleven years old in the future, but even if I am twenty-one years old, I am scared to be poked in the back in front of everyone. Of course, if it had happened at the age of twenty-one, I would probably have been able to sleep at night, because I was thick-skinned.

Later, I concluded that one of the indispensable manifestations of this person's growth over time and age is that he has a good face.

In the first few days of school, Cao Cancan always hid in his bedroom and didn't know what he was doing secretly. I didn't know until the first day of school, when she gave Kan Tao a gadget she made herself. After this girl went to Aunt Qin, the emotional transfer became more and more obvious. Let's not talk about such a child's love, love or anything, just say that I like it, I say dependence, and spiritual sustenance, Kan Tao also accounts for a certain proportion of Cao Cancan's life.

I don't want to describe my state of mind before and after returning to school, or that sentence, I'm running out of words.

Although Cao Ge was with us every day in the first few days of school, her presence still couldn't weaken the gloom in my heart. Cao Ge spent a lot of effort trying to have a good relationship with the teacher, trying to get the teacher to make up for the homework that Cao Cancan and I had left behind. As a result, after Cao Cancan returned to campus, in addition to being a lot more cheerful, his studies didn't seem to be affected, most of this or the structure in the TV series doesn't quite match, I also wondered, aren't these ordinary young ladies from rich families all pampered, rebellious and uneducated? As a result, I, a little person from an ordinary background, have lived the bad side of this rich child.

My academic performance is still very poor, but fortunately, there is still that Jiang Fei to replace me. However, my grades are almost as bad as his.

During that time, I had to worry about the head teacher's interview at any time in addition to the chaos every day, and as a result, more than half a month of fear passed, and I still didn't wait for the psychological counseling that should be in this plot.

In the end, the head teacher went directly to Cao Ge, and she chatted with Cao Ge about my recent studies. Cao Ge then hired a tutor who was responsible for helping me with my homework every night. It's just that my basic knowledge is too weak, don't look at the little things in elementary school, plus I am absent-minded, and I don't make up for one hundred or sixty-three, and there is no improvement. The make-up class was discontinued.

My mother was a little more active when the weather started to warm up after the year, and basically, I would see her three or four nights a week and have dinner together. My mother and I still rarely spoke, except that one night at the beginning of school, my mother put a piece of meat in my bowl and didn't look at me, but whispered, "Can I still keep up with my homework?" I raised my eyelids and thought about it, and with a hmm, this was the communication between our mother and daughter.

My father was still rarely at home during that time. He seemed to be busier after the accident than he was when he didn't, and no one knew exactly where he had gone and what he had done. Occasionally, when I went home twice, I met Xue Hao, and there was no word between the two of them. For Xue Hao, his father should be regarded as hating iron and steel. Xue Hao also really gave up on his father. Because he knows how pedantic this man is, he plays the piano to the cow when he talks about the truth.

During that time, Cao Ge focused most of his energy on my mother. I went home every day and did my homework, and I listened to them talk less and less about my mother's condition in front of me, so I didn't know much about it.

Cao Cancan's condition is not bad, of course, it all depends on the spiritual support given by Kan Tao's sense of existence. Cao Cancan and his father are almost speechless. Also, this father himself is so isolated from the world, who else can he talk to too much? Twice, I felt very bad when I saw my father's back going upstairs. I once wrote a passage to a friend later, and I said:

Like many people in this world, I have beloved parents;

I am different from many people in this world, because my parents will always stand on the other side of the river of my heart.

My family, like a decent triangle,

At each point, there lived a man,

The line segment that connects the dots is the blood we can't give up.

But we can only look at each other from afar,

Look at each other and yearn to walk into each other's hearts.

At that time, my father was always muddy and wooden. He would occasionally visit his grandmother's room, but he would come out quickly. And then they shut themselves off. He never mentioned seeing Aunt Qin's shadow again, but I always saw the light on in his bedroom in the early hours of the morning. Did he forget to close it? Or do you think that light can cover up the half-life fate of his wrong love?

And just like that, a month of fear passed. In fact, it's okay this month, I basically don't go out of the classroom, except for a few of my classmates who are children of high-ranking officials, and can hear a little gossip about my family from home, the rest are ordinary people's families, so there are not many remarks circulating in the class. However, in the second month, the school organized a grade exchange every week, and that's when my nightmare began.

As I walked towards the large classroom at the back of my class, I heard some unpleasant words from the crowd, such as "That's her!" was angry with her stepmother, in order to gain a foothold in the Cao family. "Oh, isn't that Cao Xi? Ah, to Cao Muxi. I'm going, and I'm still going to school? She's a cow! It's not an ordinary person! "Eh, I saw her go to school with her half-sister every day! You say, isn't her sister stupid! Living with the person who killed her mother every day, what?! ”

There are all kinds of similar remarks, but the most said is that the death of Cao Cancan's mother is my direct cause.

I was speechless and speechless. Soon, I felt like I was going to have a split personality and was anxious, nervous, and depressed. During that time, I often had insomnia, from looking at the stars to the moon, from looking at the plane trees to listening to the spring breeze, and later, slowly, I began to think about the injustice of fate to me. At that time, I sat in the classroom every day, and the psychological pressure was very high, and it seemed that the psychological burden could occupy more than 90% of my energy in my study life at that time.

It is important to understand that sometimes the more people think, the more extreme their thinking will be. That's right, in the end, I still put my bitterness on hatred.

I later concluded that my childhood was basically spent in regret and hatred, however, the more this cycle went on, the worse it became.

The nervous breakdown soon affected my life, I broke my cup at home in a trance, opened my math book in Chinese class, and knocked over my classmates while teaching homework. Seeing me like this, the head teacher interviewed Cao Ge for the second time, and this time, it was at home.

I didn't feel any strange when I saw them sitting on the couch waiting for me one day. This is Cao Ge, the head teacher, and the mother.

I sat down peacefully. Perhaps, I also felt that I wanted to vent and dissolve at that time, and I needed someone to save me from that dark psychology that did not see the light.

"Chongcao Muxi, the teacher is here today, don't be afraid, in fact, there is no other meaning. The teacher just doesn't think you've been in the right place lately. There are some things in this school that are not very convenient, so I came to your house today. Can you tell me what's wrong with you? ”

I lowered my head and didn't speak. Still, I tried to sneak a look at my mother, who was sitting on the other side of me. I couldn't see it clearly because I had bangs in front of my forehead blocking my view of her. The reason why I chose to look at my mother after the teacher asked me was actually to see how the woman who brought me endless confusion in my childhood behaved when she saw her daughter suffering mental torture because of her.

Seeing that I didn't answer, the teacher asked again. I shook my head.

"You listen to the teacher tell you that the country is now concerned about the mental health of teenagers, and the teacher will not come to your house if he finds that you have recently behaved abnormally. Everything we do is not to blame you, but to help you get out of your problems. "I actually understand what the teacher said, but what's wrong with me? Are you going to make me say it because people say I'm an illegitimate child?! Even though it was the truth, even though I had listened too much and was almost numb, I still couldn't get my concerns out of my own mouth. Why? I can't tell, that is, I'm afraid that if I say this bastard, I will pour out all my hatred for my mother.

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