Sanping laughed, and Xiao Fei looked at her strangely.

But he wasn't angry at all.

"Looks like we all have the same problem." Sanping stopped laughing, "When facing the other party's kindness to him, I only have guilt in my heart." This guilt is all too familiar to me, and I believe it has tormented you for a long time. In fact, this feeling of guilt almost defeated me. ”

Xiao Fei didn't speak, he stared at the tea leaves floating in the tea.

Sanping held the teacup and looked at Xiao Fei, "I didn't think about it at the time, and I was too anxious." I do...... It's because Yonghe left, I think that house is unpopular, it's too scary, and I just saw you again, so I had the idea of adopting you. It's quite selfish, and I know that I'm selfish and don't take into account your feelings, so I don't dare to lose you at all. You're a little kid, and it's just happened like that...... After being tossed back and forth like a ball for years, I felt like a great person, and I completely forgot that I adopted you to fill that gap in my own heart......"

"I thought what you needed was a safe environment." Sanpei sighed.

"I really need a stable environment." Xiao Fei finally spoke, and he took Sanping's words, "But in fact, I need it more...... Actually...... In fact...... Hey, I don't understand. Xiao Fei scratched his head irritably, he felt excited in his heart, because this was the first time the two of them had discussed this issue in this way; He felt scratching his heart again, because the problem did exist between the two of them, but he didn't know how to solve it.

The person who asks the problem does not have a solution to the problem. It's like trying to make people feel bad.

But Sanpei didn't seem to feel bad. In fact, Xiao Fei looked at the current Sanping and affirmed that something must have happened to Sanping when he was in school, and this incident also made Sanping's state much better.

"I don't understand." Sanping gently patted Xiao Fei's shoulder, "But if you are still willing to live with me, we might as well ...... Let's find out? Find out if there's anything we can do to make us feel more comfortable together. ”

He nodded, then added, "You can give me less living expenses." Tens of thousands in a semester is too scary...... Is it for me to buy a house directly in Yancheng? I can do part-time work on my own to earn my own living expenses. You also live your life well, do whatever you want, don't hold back. Love whoever you want, don't think too much. ”

Sanping's face was a little hot, "I'll give you a little more money, and I'll be fine...... Okay, is 5,000 a semester enough? Three thousand? Couldn't be less! ”

"What's going on between you and Yu Yun?" After chatting about his own affairs, Xiao Fei felt that his body and mind were smooth. He began to gossip about the adult.

Sanping took a sip of tea, pursed his lips, and calmly replied with two words - "friend." ”

Xiao Fei looked at the clothes that Yu Yun often wore on the sofa, and couldn't laugh.

Sanping followed Xiao Fei's eyes and looked over, blushing even more. She buried her head and began to make tea.

"Love whoever you want," Xiao Fei said, "don't think too much." ”

"But I'm also curious, is it Dr. Hu's excellent medical skills, or did you come out on your own?" Xiao Fei thought about it, but still asked the question, "You're too good too fast." ”

With a smile, Sanping poured Xiao Fei a cup of tea, "It's the answer that Dr. Hu and I found together." Dr. Hu told me that my relationship with Yonghe had been unbalanced from the beginning. ”

Xiao Fei wrote "I don't understand" all over his face.

"How are you feeling now?" One day after Sanping's confession, Dr. Hu asked Sanping, whose face had improved significantly.

"You can fall asleep." Sanpei replied, "Really...... Thank you, Dr. Wu. ”

Dr. Hu sat across from Sanping and spread out a few pieces of paper in front of her, "You're welcome." Actually, the most important thing you should be thankful for is yourself, you are amazing. Your family, your parents, have a great influence on you - but we are human because we have independent will, independent thinking, and while we try to see our situation clearly, the most important thing is not to become a victim of our own situation. We, you, you are very capable and can change everything. ”

Sanpei smiled embarrassedly.

"Okay, then let's pick up where we left off today." Dr. Hu took out a pen and tapped it lightly on the paper, "Today we will talk about several forms of relationship, and you can also see if the relationship between you and Yonghe can be matched." ”

Although Sanping didn't understand, he nodded anyway.

"Did you know that there are three different models in a marriage relationship?" As he spoke, Dr. Hu drew two circles on the paper with a pen, and then he drew an arrow in the middle of the two circles. Dr. Hu said to Sanping as he painted, "There are three different modes of marriage. The first mode of getting along is the parent-child model. That is, one of the husband and wife plays the role of the parent, and the other plays the role of the child. The parent who plays the role of the child will depend to a large extent on the parent who plays the role of the parent. On the side that plays the role of a parent, at first it feels that it is a natural thing to take care of your partner, and the one who is taken care of will also feel that it is a matter of course to be taken care of. However, the reason why this relationship is unbalanced is that the parent is much more mentally mature than the other. So when he sees that his partner has been stuck in the same place, showing no signs of growth, but still relying on him for everything, he will feel very tired. ”

"The second model is the child-child model." Dr. Hu ignored Sanping's slightly trembling hands and continued, "In this model, both husband and wife are not yet mature in their minds, and they are in the stage of asking for each other but refusing to give. This model, on the surface, is very passionate and emotional, but in fact it is the one that is most likely to be unbalanced. Because both of them refuse to give and grow, they naturally can't cope with the test from reality. ”

"The third mode is the adult-adult model. In this model, the two people entering the marriage are adults with mature mental development, and they are able to maintain their own space for independent growth and thinking in the process of falling in love with each other, and they do not rely on each other, but rely on each other. This is an ideal model of marital relationship, and it is also a relatively stable model of marital relationship. ”

When Dr. Hu said this, he raised his head and looked at Sanping, "Do you think that your marriage relationship with Yonghe belongs to which of these three modes?" ”

"The first." Sanping replied in a whisper. She answered quickly, and Dr. Hu believed that after he finished talking about the first relationship model, Sanping already had the answer.

"Well, what do you think of the roles you and Yonghe play?"

"From acquaintance, to marriage, to the end, it was he who has been taking care of me." Sanping hugged the pillow to his chest again: "I am the one who is taken care of, the one who has been begging." ”

"Well, but even then, you don't need to blame yourself." Dr. Hu slowed down and said softly.

"What do you mean?" Sanpei felt that breathing had become difficult. She has always vaguely felt that her relationship with Yonghe is unbalanced, but she has never been able to say what is unbalanced, and Yonghe is indeed very good to her, so she will let it go. Listening to Dr. Hu today, she realized that maybe Yonghe was tired for a long time.

"The fact that you have taken the child's role card is not the result of your active choice." Dr. Hu said slowly, "If the love you receive from your parents is sufficient and selfless as you grow up, your mind can mature as you grow older." But on the contrary, if in the process of growing up, what you get is a lack of love, you will have no sense of security, you will not trust the external environment, let alone take the initiative to pursue growth, and your mind will not be exercised and then mature. So, once you're in an intimate relationship, it's natural that you want your partner to take care of you all the time, and you can feel comfortable being a child and enjoying the love from your partner. Dr. Hu looked at Sanping, who was in tears, and said softly, "So, even if you are relying on each other in this relationship, it is not your fault. This is something you can't choose, and at that time, only this choice can be in line with the facts, and you can feel safe. ”

"But if ......" Listening to Dr. Hu's explanation, Sanping's tears were like broken beads, and she had no way to say a complete sentence. Dr. Hu gently placed the tissue box in front of her.

When Sanping finally calmed down, she finally raised her red and swollen eyes and said to Dr. Hu, who had been sitting across from her, "But if it weren't for the fact that I wasn't mature and independent enough, he wouldn't feel tired...... It won't be ......."

"What you have to understand is," Dr. Hu said softly, "Yonghe's accident and his divorce have nothing to do with these two things. He had an accident, and it was the responsibility of the vehicle that caused the accident, not yours; He wants a divorce, and it's his decision, not yours. You have to distinguish the right of responsibility, you only need to take one responsibility, which is the responsibility to change your attitude towards the relationship. ”

"First of all, you have to learn to love yourself – love yourself from the heart, make yourself independent, find your own worth, so that you don't get hurt in the relationship again."