Originally, I slept very poorly these nights, and often woke up in the middle of the night, hoping to get better by going back here and being alone quietly, but this night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep.

At the same time, the ears are extremely sensitive, and the slightest movement outside will come in.

He got up in the middle of the night, rushed to the bathroom, and then the sound of vomiting came one after another. My heart tightened, and I resisted the urge to go out and investigate, until I heard stumbling footsteps in the living room, and I could discern that I had gone to the fridge to get a beer again, and then returned to the living room couch.

Through a door, he didn't know that I was in the house, I knew he was in the living room, and this was the distance between me and him, and I couldn't cross it.

After dawn, I didn't get up until eight o'clock, and sent a text message to Xiao Dong asking for half a day off.

I washed in the bathroom of the bedroom, and when I was done, I walked to the door and paused slightly, took a deep breath and opened the door and walked out. No accident, Zhou Yu was still lying on the sofa, and there were obviously a few more new beer cans on the coffee table.

The man on the couch sat up abruptly as I walked up, and I was startled, he wasn't asleep?!

Zhou Yu looked at me suspiciously, his eyes were still cloudy, and he muttered, "Am I dreaming again?" ”

Mo looked at him, if it was a dream, he would always be woken up, so I said softly: "Zhou Gongjin, today is the seventh day of the new year, and I have already asked for leave." ”

Zhou Yu didn't wake up much from the wine, so naturally he couldn't drive, so he gave me the key and I opened it.

The road to the Civil Affairs Bureau is not unfamiliar, winding around the street entrance. Today may be the first day of work, so the road is very congested, and I have been waiting for half an hour at a traffic light. Thinking that there would be no parking space in front of the Civil Affairs Bureau, I began to look for a nearby parking lot in advance, and finally parked my car at a location that was more than one stop away.

Turning his eyes to see Zhou Yu, who had not made a sound since getting into the car, he sat quietly in the chair, looking straight ahead but as if he didn't notice that the car had stopped. I shouted, "Get out of the car." ”

He was stunned, looked at me blankly, and only suddenly came back after his pupils focused, followed by deep pain.

I didn't look again, turned around and pushed the door open and got out of the car, just waiting for him by the side of the car.

When Zhou Yu came over, I handed over the car keys, he looked down, his mouth moved without speaking, and finally took the keys silently. The two walked side by side, and no one seemed to intend to break the tranquility in the hustle and bustle at this time, so they walked silently, until they reached the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau, and when I walked to the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau, I subconsciously glanced at the sign hanging on the wall, and there was a reminder sheet posted at the bottom - please go to the fifth floor for marriage, and the second floor for divorce.

Suddenly, Zhou Yu grabbed my hand, turned around, and saw that he buried his head and didn't look at me, let alone speak.

I kind of understood that he was making a final battle with himself, even if it was a step late. I didn't want to urge, but there was no point in spending it like this, so I looked at his hand with white finger bones and called his name lightly: "Zhou Gongjin." ”

He shuddered, the force on his wrist slowly loosened, and his fingers withdrew little by little.

I felt the desperation in his heart.

Maybe one day in the future, I will always find that what I thought I couldn't ask for, and it was just a farce to strip away all kinds of unbearable appearances. When outsiders clearly see the existence of love, they are often fascinated by the authorities.

And at this time, forgive me for not having such a profound way of doing things, because I am the authority.

In the end, his lingering fingertips were pulled away by me, and at that moment, even I felt cruel.

"Let's go inside."

When I got the red book again, I never felt that the red was so dazzling, and I stuffed it into my bag almost immediately, but I inevitably saw Zhou Yu holding the red book in his hand all the time, and he didn't put it in his coat pocket until he walked out the door.

The black coat used to be very neat, but now it looks a little bigger.

He suddenly paused and I was defenseless, and hit him directly on the back, and when he touched his nose and looked up, he turned around, his eyes were soft and asked, "Can I hold your hand again?" ”

I didn't react, "What? ”

He said: "I want to hold your hand one last time, I'm afraid I won't have a chance in the future." ”

When the nose is sore, there is more wetness in the eyes.

For his sentence - I'm afraid that I won't have a chance in the future.

Since the moment he and I have been separated, it is difficult to be friends, lovers are no longer possible, only the most familiar strangers.

"If you don't keep quiet, I'll take you as a default." He straightened up and grabbed my hand.

Without a struggle, he grabbed and walked slowly towards the parking lot.

I thought that I should actually part ways here, he is a police officer, so he naturally understands the dangers of drunk driving, and his car parked there does not necessarily have to be driven by me. But these thoughts just rolled through my mind, and I didn't say them.

"Jia Xiaoru." Zhou Yu called me, "You haven't given me a chance to express it completely, and now that the marriage has been divorced, I want to talk about some thoughts in my heart, whether you want to hear it or not." ”

"First of all, believe it or not, I love you. I used to think that men were too hypocritical to talk about love, and you should have known my thoughts about you eight hundred years ago, and I don't need to say it in one more way. But until today, I realized that love is to be spoken, and if you don't tell you, it's no different from no love. ”

"I'm not sure when it started. It may be that I kissed you under the tree on the night of my college entrance examination, or it may be that in the three days of the high school entrance examination, you got along with me day and night, and I found a change in my mentality. From being awkward and unwilling to admit and be known about, to being unable to help but get close to you, to confessing to you for the first time, you said that your feelings are not pure, but I don't think there is anything impure for you. ”

"Later, I counted all the contacts I had with your father, and I could break them with my fingers. It's not appropriate to say resentment, the psychological impact that my aunt has caused me is far from hatred, I can only say that I don't like your father. Since there are so few intersections, even if you don't like it, you won't deliberately, but you don't show that much interest when you take me to see your father's magic show with excitement. ”

"I wasn't qualified to comment on magic shows, but because there was a couple of you in the middle, I had to come into contact with them, and at one point you were influenced by your father and learned magic. So during that time, I was really repulsed by your father, so much so that when you asked me to go to the show on Christmas Eve, I didn't think much about it in my heart, and I happened to bump into Miko and Wei Lai who had an accident and came to me. I couldn't have imagined what would happen at the time, but I regretted it for countless days and nights to come—why I didn't go to the theater to see you that night. ”

"That night I stood behind you and watched you cry, in addition to guilt and distress, there was also fear. I panicked so much that I was afraid that you would blame me for your father's death, and run home and impulsively propose to marry you. At that time, I only thought about marrying you and protecting you for the rest of my life, but it backfired, and in the end, you proposed to me to break up, and I tasted heartache that day. From then until we got married, I thought that the biggest pain was nothing more than this, but when you told me about divorce, I realized that heartache is not enough, heartbreak is the real pain of the skin. ”

Zhou Yu's words were progressive, and he didn't deliberately exaggerate the strong emotions, but just said something I didn't know about his mental journey. He confessed his rejection of his father, and also expressed the emotions behind it.

It was a fake to say that I was not shocked, and even my hands were numb, and the fingers he was grasping were stiff.

After a pause, we were already in the parking lot.

"You can find someone to help you drive the car back." I suddenly asked.

He turned his head to look at me, "How are you going?" ”

"I just go out to stop the car or call a taxi on my phone, I have leave in the morning, and I am not in a hurry."

He was silent for a moment, "Can't we have another meal together?" ”

Subconsciously thinking that it was a casual meal, it would feel like a mouth full of sand. I shook my head, "No more." ”

Zhou Yu didn't force it anymore, only lowered his head and looked at the palm that was still holding me, and paused for a moment before slowly letting go, and my hand fell freely to his side. I heard him say, "Then you go first." ”

"Zhou Gongjin, you should not drive after drinking."

He smiled, "Don't worry, I won't drink and drive, I'll wait for someone here." ”

Nodding his head, he said lightly: "Then I'll go." ”

When he turned around, his eyes blurred.

It was only when I walked to the sore leg that I suddenly remembered that I hadn't stopped the car, and I don't know how many intersections I had walked, but the time was past the afternoon work. I rummaged through the mobile phone in my bag, and was about to call Xiao Dong, when my mind flipped around, I slowly turned around, and my eyes were fixed on the familiar figure.

Zhou Yu has been following me, just like that time when I was angry and walked alone for a long time, I turned around and saw him.

I crouched down and buried my face in my knees.

If studying law and becoming a lawyer would have armed me, my personality would have changed from soft to tough, but I would be vulnerable in front of Zhou Yu at all. One of his actions, his words, can make me emotionally broken.

There was an extra pair of feet beside him, and Zhou Yu's voice came from the top of his head: "Jia Xiaoru." The tone was sad and helpless.

I didn't lift my tear-stained face up, I only prayed with my nose: "Zhou Gongjin, can you just forget it?" ”

"Forget it?" He asked lightly.

"Don't follow me anymore, we're divorced."

"I just wanted to make sure you got in the car, but I watched you go and walk, and I was afraid that you would go too far and not come back like you did last time." He also squatted down, and wrapped his arms around me, "Every time you are sad, you like to walk alone, I don't worry, I always have to follow." Jia Xiaoru, we are divorced, but it's not like we're old and dead, I can't let you walk on the road alone. ”

"I'll take the car now." While raising his face, he quickly wiped his face with his sleeve, suddenly got up and rushed to the side of the road, quickly stopped a taxi and got in, but couldn't help but look back at the car window, only to see Zhou Yu still squatting in place, looking at this side with burning eyes, and the distance gradually narrowed.

My hand reached into my bag and grabbed the hard notebook, but tears poured out of my eyes.

Finally divorced, and since then there is no legal relationship with him, will he be a stranger in the future? If so, then looking back on the past so many years, it will be painful to recall.