On the second day of the Lunar New Year, I slept in bed until noon.

Originally, my mother would ask me to go to my aunt's place to pay New Year's greetings, but because of yesterday's incident, no one was in the mood, so my mother didn't call me. I got up and freshened up, and saw myself in the mirror with a dark face and red eyes, but after a sleepless night, my whole mental state became so bad.

pulled the corners of his mouth, and directly took cold water and threw his face down, freezing so that his face turned white.

When I walked out of the bedroom and saw my mother serving food, she frowned when she saw me come out and asked, "Why do you sleep until now?" ”

I replied with a smug reply: "Sleepy." ”

Although there is chicken soup, fish, and shrimp, it still feels tasteless in the mouth. Mom and I didn't seem to be in the mood to speak, and all we heard at the dinner table was the sound of chopsticks hitting dishes.

When I put down the bowl, my mother suddenly asked, "When will I go to the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce?" ”

I was silent for a moment and replied lightly: "Wait until the seventh day of junior high school officially goes to work." ”

"Tell him clearly?" My mother sighed when she saw me nodding, "Since you have made it clear, then tell him not to come over again, and you can go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to do it that day, and put it down early." ”

I was stunned, "Did he come today?" ”

My mother smiled at the door and said, "Well, people are still outside the door at this time, and they came early in the morning." ”

I turned my head and looked at the closed door, my heart aching.

My mother sighed: "It's not that I insist on breaking you up, other people's families can get along slowly, but their families can't accept you no matter what." I'm glad you don't have children, and it's really a sin to have them. ”

Heartbeat, child...... Yes, Zhou Yu and I have no children so far, and we don't usually do anything, but there has been no movement. If there are children, the Yu Zhou family may not change, but for me and Zhou Yu, I really don't know where to go.

When my mother got up to clean up the dishes and chopsticks, she said softly: "Since it has been made clear and decided, then persuade people not to come again, so as not to waste each other's feelings again." ”

"Well, I'll say it." I got up from the chair, and just after taking two steps, I heard my mother say behind me: "Xiaoru, Xiaoyu, this child has grown up, and it won't be bad enough, it's just influenced by the family." If you talk to him well, it can be regarded as a good gathering and dispersal. ”

Good to gather and disperse...... I closed my eyes, pushed the wetness back from my eyes, and responded, "I know." ”

When he opened the door and went out, he saw Zhou Yu sitting on the stairs, and raised his head when he heard the movement.

Like me, his face was dull and his eyes were red.

"Jia Xiaoru." He called my name softly, and there was grievance and sadness in his tone.

I walked over and sat down beside him, looking ahead, "Zhou Gongjin, we finished talking last night, don't come to me again, okay?" My mother said that we should get together and disperse. ”

"How do you get together and disperse? Since I met you again, I never imagined that one day we would break up. Jia Xiaoru, I don't agree to the divorce, even if you really want to meet me in court, I will hold on and wait until then. If it was my mom that I broke up four years ago, I won't be repeating it four years later. They'll be gone after the year, and then we'll be the only ones left to live by, and we'll be able to ......."

I interrupted him: "What if I hate you now?" Think we're still okay? Zhou Gongjin, you don't understand, for a long time in the past, you approached me with the purpose of revenge, and you also had a grudge against my father. In any case, your aunt's matter has become a thorn in your heart and mine, and we can't be the same as before. ”

After Zhou Yu silently listened to my words, his mood was very calm, "It's a thorn, then pull it out." It's good to hate me, it's good to hate me, I'll show you what I'm doing in the future, and you will slowly forgive me. ”

I felt powerless, and now talking to him was like a punch to the cotton, dented, but not focused.

"What if," I gritted my teeth and asked fiercely, "I can't forgive?" I didn't go any further last night, because if I ever linked your resentment to my father's death, I would have thought about it with horror and might even go mad. ”

The figure in the afterglow began to tremble slightly, and the hand hanging at his side was already clenched into a fist.

I know that he can't be this kind of person, I have witnessed how honest he is, Dad's magic will have an accident and the car accident later can't match him, but at this time I still said coldly: "Your aunt is crazy at worst, at least she is still alive, but what about my dad?" He died, buried under the loess, and since then there has been no life and death, and I can't even see it in my dreams. Even if our Jia family owes your mother's family, we should pay off the debt. ”

Zhou Yu suddenly buried his head in his knees, his shoulders trembled, and suppressed and restrained sobs faintly came out.

My tears burst out of my eyes, if I had been tormented all night and my heart was full of thorns, why wasn't he suffering?

Raised his hand to wipe away his tears, sniffed his nose and finished what he had to say: "So, Zhou Gongjin, we have already had no way out, and if we continue, we will only resent each other." Please keep my belief in love, at least, in the past twenty years, I really liked a person named Zhou Gongjin, no matter what purpose he approached me, he was also my beauty in the bronze bird building. Don't come to me again before the seventh day of the new year, on the seventh day of the new year, you bring your marriage certificate and household registration book, and we will meet you at the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau. ”

I straightened up from the steps and stared down at the fragile man in front of me. He had always been tough, and even a little machismo at times, but at this point he showed his vulnerability to me.

Looking around desolately, I felt that the atmosphere around me was filled with a kind of desperate sorrow.

When I saw him gradually quieting down, his body only twitching occasionally, I took a step and walked into the door, but when I was about to close the door, I heard a hoarse voice drifting in: "Jia Xiaoru, I promise you." ”

I paused, my heart throbbing, and my heart twitched with a thin thread.

But in the end, I just responded with one word: "Yes." ”

closed the door and shut him off from the rest of the world.

Since the second year of junior high school, Zhou Yu has not come back, nor has he called or texted me, before he was full of his breath every day, but now I am nested in my mother's place, and I only feel that the air is so light that people can breathe depressed. On the evening of the sixth day of the new year, I asked my mother to go back to the apartment, but my mother did not object, but only reminded me that since I had made a decision, I should not repent again.

I called Didi in advance, and when I walked to the gate of the community, the car was already waiting, and I reported the address and drove towards the city.

"Here we are." The driver reminded me to come back to my senses, and hurriedly pushed the door to get out of the car, and the driver behind me was asking: "Please help me give me a good review." I didn't answer, and walked straight to the apartment.

At this moment, no matter what you do, you must have a service evaluation, which is linked to interests. The payment will be automatically deducted, but the service has to be manually rated, and I helped the driver to score all five points while waiting for the elevator.

I thought that I would have to go to the parking lot over there tomorrow to drive my car away, so as not to occupy a parking space and it would be inconvenient to go to work.

The moment I opened the door and walked into the apartment, a familiar smell came to my face, my face changed, and I reached out to turn on the light when I thought of something. From dark to extremely bright, his eyes are slightly piercing, and when his vision is clear, he suspects that his brain is hallucinating.

I saw that in the sofa, Zhou Yu was lying sideways, and the coffee table was full of beer cans, which was a mess.

I walked over and found that he had been violently emaciated in a few days, his face was pale and bloodless, and even though his eyes were closed, he seemed to have fallen asleep, but the wrinkles between his brows were deeper than ever.

Scanning through the messy coffee table, I saw instant noodles in addition to beer filling, and the phone was on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, the phone was out of battery and turned off, and then I turned my eyes to look at him, and the shadow under my eyes stung my eyes.

Was he punishing himself with such decadent depression?

What about the people in their family? How could the second elder of the Zhou family allow him to be here alone? What about Zhou Nian, isn't it to keep saying that he wants to take care of it to the end? No matter how bad it is, there is still Zhou Liang, aren't the Zhou family all well-known calf protectors? Why did you let him stay with me?

The pain brought me back to my senses as my nails stabbed into my palms, and he grabbed his arms when he was about to put his phone on the coffee table. My heart was pounding, thinking that he was awake or not asleep, but I saw that he closed his eyes and said vaguely -

"Jia Xiaoru, I'm sorry."

When I was lying on the bed, I was still uneasy, and I didn't think that I would be in the same room with Zhou Yu just across the door.

I thought that the second day of junior high school was the last intersection before our divorce, but I didn't think that he would appear in the apartment, and it seemed like he was here all these days. He didn't wake up just now, just talking nonsense in a drunken dream, so I hugged him a quilt and covered it, and then went back to the room to wash up and lie down.

I still can't ignore him.

How can you ignore it? Every day of the year, my heart was full of him, and all I thought about was how I could get along with his family, and I tried my best to retreat and forbear, even if it wasn't satisfactory, but at least I was working it. Further back, before his family came back, although he and I got married in a hurry, and there were differences and quarrels due to ideas and values after marriage, it would not affect my marriage with him.

My love for him did not happen overnight, nor did it happen over the years. It is a small bit of bits and pieces, tied together little by little, condensed into a full of love.

Others envy the kind of love and marriage that goes from college to society, watching boys change from youth to maturity and stability, girls from plain makeup to honesty and beauty, and finally go through various springs, summers, autumns and winters hand in hand. And I have witnessed all the appearances of the person outside the house from childhood to youth, to youth and now maturity, to say a conceited word, I can guess what he means with every look and action, this is the tacit understanding after a long time together.