An increasingly strong thought was placed in front of Lin Ximeng: He loves me! It's a love that permeates life.

Her heart is clear, and she doesn't have the slightest idea that Fan Tianfu's words are not counted. On the contrary, she was saddened by the sadness that this incident brought to Fan Tianfu.

Although she was sad, Fan Tianfu's sadness broke her heart even more. She could not imagine the anguish of the house he had felt when he had cleaned up the house, which he had promised her to buy and had lived in for a while, because he was a man, and how well she knew him, and how much he longed for the house more than she was, and the pressure on his heart, the stimulation that this incident had given him, must have been very profound, and the heart-wrenching pain he felt when he finally scanned every corner of the room, she could fully imagine.

Not only that, but contrary to her original vow, she had firm confidence in Fan Tianfu that she would soon go through the divorce procedures and completely entrust the rest of her life to this man.

"God testifies that even if I lose, I have no complaints." Lin Ximeng hurried back to Wutong and called home from the station, but no one answered.

She couldn't think of where Zhuo Qi could go on Sunday. She didn't bring the house key, and she didn't dare to go back to her parents' house, so she had to go to Lin Chenshuang's house.

Lin Chenshuang turned on the tape recorder and played it to Lin Ximeng. Zhuo Qi yelled on the phone: "...... You don't believe it? If you don't believe it, you'll see. ”

"Brother, can you do this, wait until my sister comes back?"

"Your sister? She's back? She had already slept with someone in Beijing. Think about it, even your sister is ...... with a low-grade person like Fan Tianfu."

"Brother, can you not talk about this?"

"Chenshuang, let me tell you, I want power and power now, and I stepped on the sycamore with one foot. Unbelief? I choose the most beautiful big girl in Sycamore, as many as I want. What is Fan Tianfu? In what way can he compare to me? ”

"Brother, let's not talk about these ......"

"No! Morning cool, I want to say! Wait and see, I'll show you the prettiest big girl. I still have to find Mu Hongkuan to be my matchmaker, and I use six cars for marriage, and the lowest grade is the crown ......"

"Brother......

"Chen Shuang, your sister's divorce from me is considered her bad luck. My friends are all on my side, all of them are iron buddies, I can do whatever I want, I want to live a life for the people......"

"Brother, you are still a teacher, how can you scold people?"

"Swearing? Who am I scolding? Lin Tianming? What kind of thing is Lin Tianming? Isn't Chen Xiaqiu better than him? Pan Zenglu is not better than him? He's fucking a** hairy ......"

"Snap ......" phone call snapped. The phone rang again.

"Chenshuang, why are you deducting the phone?"

"I don't deduct the phone when you scold people?"

"Who am I scolding? Tell you, Chenshuang, I'm very proud now, your sister wants to beg me to do something for her! Ha ha...... Lin Ximeng's day is also ......"

"Don't curse!"

"I scolded your mother? My mother-in-law is dying when she is sick, and she deserves to be unlucky, who will I scold again? ”

"Brother, you have no conscience! You knocked out your front teeth when you were drunk, and you lay in my house for more than ten days, and our mother served you with water and food every day, and you still cursed her to death! ”

"Conscience? What is conscience? ”

"Besides, our father, where is he sorry for you? How many legs did he run for your transfer? How many gifts were given? It's not like you don't know this! Coal for you in the winter, oil for you in the summer, this and that, which of our sisters has been so cared for by me as much as my sister? Isn't it all for your own good? ……”

"We? Ha! We're! We're going to get divorced! Your Lin family is a scum, a prostitute, and a ......."

"Snap ......" The phone is turned off again. The phone kept ringing, and no one answered. Lin Chenshuang turned off the tape recorder.

Lin Ximeng sat slumped on the sofa. Lin Chenshuang poured water and complained: "Sister, it's not that I said you, if you want to leave, leave quickly, whoever divorces is like your marathon." Just leave and leave, you are good, but you are afraid of ruining Zhuo Qi, and you are afraid of social jokes. It's good now, my mother is sick, my father is going crazy, and all my relatives don't know that you have an affair with Fan Tianfu, which makes people turn their backs and ......."

"Say no more! My head is going to explode! Lin Ximeng held his head and didn't dare to move. After a while, Lin Chenshuang spoke again: "Isn't this caused by you?" When I was with him, I was half angry with my parents, and when I divorced, I was half angry with my parents, there are six brothers and sisters, all like you, and my parents have died as many times as they have died. These days, Dad calls Zhuo Qi every day, think about Daddy's blood, who would dare to live like this to him at this age? He scolded Zhuo Qi's ancestors for eight lifetimes, scolded Zhuo Qi for being unworthy of lifting shoes for him like a bear, and agreed with him at a time and place, so he had to work hard with him. Now, Zhuo Qi is so frightened that he doesn't even dare to answer the phone. We stopped him, I said how much is Zhuo Qi's life worth? How much is our life worth? It doesn't work that way. Lin Ximeng realized that no one answered the phone at home.

When she returned home, Zhuo Qi saw her come back suddenly, tilting her head, glaring, and pretending to be nothing.

Poor Zhuoqi! Lin Ximeng's stomach was full of anger and miraculously disappeared the moment he saw Zhuo Qi.

For the first time, she had a ...... to Zhuo Qi Her homeroom teacher, her teacher, her husband, the father of her son, the man with whom she had lived for twelve years—had such a deep pity that there was no need for resentment.

After living at home for three days, Lin Ximeng deeply felt that although all his love for Zhuo Qi had been lost, his love still existed, the teacher-student relationship, the husband and wife relationship, and even friendship and sympathy.

Now, for Lin Ximeng, facing this marriage is like facing a tumor in her body, knowing that she should go to the operating table to remove it, and knowing that only after removing it can the body grow healthily, but the severe pain during the operation made her infinitely afraid, so that she did not dare to go to the operating table.

What's more, after stepping down from the operating table, he undoubtedly stood on top of a tall city wall, and there was no way back but to jump down, and the lower half was a happy paradise...... In the end, he was able to combine with Fan Tianfu; Half of it is an abyss...... Cannot be combined with Fan Tianfu.

Exactly what half it will fall to is another unknown. If she can be 100% sure of falling to the side of the happy heaven, the operation will be painful, as long as she does not die, she will endure it.

There is no pain in the world that cannot be overcome. Guan Yu scraped the bones and survived. And once she falls into the abyss, won't she die tragically?

As Zhuo Qi said, not only will you lose everything, but you will also be cornered and your head will be broken. Rather than this, it is better to let the tumor stay in the body forever, and it can also avoid the pain of surgery.

Which day is poisoned, which day is finished. Isn't it true that people die in one life, so why bother to find sin? As for being ruined, this is already a matter of ignorance for her.

What about success? What about failure? What about the name? What about a split name? Aren't these all fleeting and fleeting things?

Zhuo Qi has long said that she is a dead pig and is not afraid of boiling water. Since you have to worry about being scalded by boiling water every day to be a live pig, why not become a dead pig more beautifully?

While the live pigs were afraid of being scalded by boiling water, and mocked the dead pigs for not being afraid of boiling water, the dead pigs were enjoying the pleasures that live pigs could never enjoy.

Therefore, no one wants to use her disgrace to persuade and prevent her from doing or not doing anything. Lin Ximeng went to his parents' house before returning to Beijing, Lin Tianming locked Lin Ximeng in the living room, and ordered Lin Ximeng to cut off all contact with Fan Tianfu, suspend school, and return to Zhuo Qi.

Lin Tianming saw that Lin Ximeng did not express his position, and began to scold and reprimand harshly. Mrs. Lin tried her best to slam the door, but Lin Tianming just didn't open it, until she scolded Lin Ximeng and couldn't support it, so she went to open the door.

Mrs. Lin looked at Lin Ximeng with sick, weak, pitying, and helpless eyes. Before his parents could react, Lin Ximeng grabbed his bag and fled from the house, rushed down the stairs, ran dozens of meters away in one go, and called Fan Tianfu in a public phone booth.

Fan Tianfu drove towards her in less than five minutes, and as soon as the car stopped, Lin Ximeng opened the car door and got in.

"Quick!"

"Where?"

"No matter where you go!"

“……”

"Just get out of here! Fast, the sooner the better! Lin Ximeng sat in the car in shock, her eyes constantly looking out of the car window.

This reminded her of the experience of escaping from the black man's hand two years ago. Mother! She hadn't seen her mother in months!

Since going to school in Beijing, she has come back to Wutong several times, but she has not dared to enter her parents' house. This time, in less than 20 minutes, her father was locked in the living room as soon as she entered the door, and she didn't even have a chance to talk to her mother, so she hurriedly took a photo and had to flee the house quickly.

The car left the sycamore, and it was already dark. Fan Tianfu parked the car on the side of the road and discussed where to go.

Where to? The Bailang Island house was returned. Only return to Beijing. Seeing that the train was still in time that night, they went straight to the train station.

Fan Tianfu is also helpless about Lin Ximeng's constant divorce tug-of-war. He had no choice but to comfort her, and **.

That evening, in the twilight, she stood in front of the dormitory window. The mist quietly disappeared from the willow that drifted gently in the wind.

In his thoughts, all hesitation and confusion were also hidden. All that remains is waiting: these waitings, which are intertwined with hopelessness, have stubbornly grown into thoughts.

Time washes away the dust, washes away the helplessness, washes away the carnival and warmth she asks for life, but it can't wash away the waiting he left her.

In this waiting, Lin Ximeng's thoughts returned to the dark night, reminiscing about that brief and sacred moment.

She sat down and began to write to Fan Tianfu: At that moment, you once again swept away my worries.

Yes, my love, anxiety has been with me for countless days, and when I was melted into your arms, you swept away all my worries.

What's going on? Do I only feel that you are mine when I hug your tall body?

Do I only feel that you belong to me when I enjoy your fiery passion? Could it be that I only feel that you belong to me when I appreciate your strong lust?

I do not know. My love, I really don't know. I often wonder to myself, I often think about nothing.

You are a very fortuitous life in my life, but you are also a necessary day in my life.

Now, this life is thousands of miles away beyond my eyes, and I spend every day quietly touching your existence.

Let me touch you, my love, let me touch your breath, it is the most beautiful rhythm in the world; Let me touch your body, which contains the infinite riches of the universe; Let me touch your eyes, it is my harbor, my sun, my home.

It is only today that I understand why it is so difficult for my heart to open the door in the days I left you. It turns out that whenever I separate, you use the golden lock of missing to close the door of my heart tightly.

The key to the golden lock, placed in your eyes. When I was bored, I wanted to try to open this golden lock and let my curled heart breathe.

However, despite all my efforts, the door of my heart was still locked, firmly. I finally understood that a lock cannot be opened without a key; And it is even more difficult to open the golden lock of the heart.

Because it can't be smashed. I gave up trying and didn't bother anymore. The only thing I look forward to is to hope that the days will pass sooner and faster, so that the track of time will send you to me a moment sooner.

There has never been a time when I was tormented like this. Gazing at the time and crawling forward inch by inch, I can only helpless, only sigh; Counting your long journey to me, I can't do anything about it; Hearing about the hardships and dangers you have gone through, I am heartbroken, and I can't help it.

Every day, every night, every moment, my whole soul is calling: Come to me, my beloved life; Come to me, companion of my life.

Please drop your heavy bag, please speed up your vigorous steps, and walk quickly, quickly towards me!

My boiling blood is waiting for you, my beating heart is waiting for you, my youthful life is looking forward to you, and my whole body is longing for you...... Come to me, come to me quickly, let me meet with a cheerful heart, let me meet with open arms, let me meet with tears of gratitude.

Love, my dear love, let me wipe away the dust of your journey, let me wipe away the beads of sweat on your body, let me soothe your wounded heart, let me sweep away the fatigue of your journey, let me melt your hardships along the way, let me kiss away your blurred teardrops.

And, my love, let me give birth to a new life. Let this life be forged with thy bones and my flesh, condensed with thy essence and my blood, and fused with thy soul and my soul...... So, my beloved, you will jump and jump with joy, like a mischievous child, holding this holy little creature, spreading wild on my plump breasts, playing under my tender gaze, singing in the open atrium of my heart, counting the steps in my tearful smile......

"Lin Ximeng, your phone." Someone shouted in the hallway. It's Fan Tianfu! Lin Ximeng ran to answer the phone.

Fan Tianfu told her on the phone that the company was struggling and in debt, and then said: "Ximeng, I am not afraid of anything, I am not afraid of anyone, I am only afraid of myself, I am afraid that I will lose my combat effectiveness." For the first time, I felt that I was a poor worm and had no prospects...... "When Lin Ximeng heard this, he felt that this man was gradually moving towards the bottom line of losing self-confidence.

It's all blamed for not being by his side! If he was by his side, he would never be like this! She immediately said: "Tianfu, no, with me by your side, you will never lose your combat effectiveness." Fan Tianfu sighed there and did not speak.

She knew that this was a time when a man was at his most vulnerable, and if no one gave him confidence at this time, it would be too late when he completely lost his self-confidence.

A man like Fan Tianfu, once he loses his self-confidence, he loses his combat effectiveness, just like a soldier on the battlefield whose hands and feet are cut off, and he can only ask for a quick death.

She said slowly: Tian Fu, in the past three years, I have gained a new understanding of the words success and failure.

For us to engage in business, it seems that making money is success, and not making money is failure. However, I now think that is not the case at all.

Take the fact that you told me on the phone last night that Director Zhao invited a guest, among the more than 10 factory directors and managers he invited, I think there must be days that are more difficult than us, and there must be people who make a lot of money.

However, when you appear in front of them, everyone looks at you and envies you, thinking that as long as you are rich, life is better, including that Manager Zheng, who said that he would be satisfied with you as a manager in his life.

I think that's your success. A person who lives does not have a lot of money to be successful. We have been in business for three years, and now we have hardly made any money, with hundreds of thousands of foreign debts, and others owe us hundreds of thousands.

And my classmate Wei Ke, he now earns four or five hundred thousand yuan, and he guards the small restaurant with his wife and children all day long.

Think about him, can you say that so far he succeeded and you failed? Therefore, the key to a person's life is a breath of gas.

It is the kind of qi that is both innate, and acquired and hard work, and after suffering and cultivation, it merges into a breath that cannot be seen or touched, but can be suddenly or obviously felt at once.

It's right above your head, right around you, and that's what is called Haoran righteousness. When you walk in the crowd, everyone is shocked by your breath and looks at you, isn't this a success?

At this time, who still takes out their passbooks to show people? Success is a process of struggle, not the final result.

You called last night and said that if you don't succeed, you'll jump off the building and go to hell. In fact, even if the company is indeed insolvent one day, you want to jump off the building, you want to go to hell, and you still succeed, because I accompany you to jump off the building, and I accompany you to hell.

"I'm so proud," Fan Tianfu said in a low voice.

"Ximeng, I'm proud to have a woman like you. If I am the balloon that rises into the air, eye-catching, then you are the air in the balloon. Without you, I would never have been able to rise. ”

"I'm willing to be the gas in that balloon forever."

"Ximeng, from now on, no matter what you do, I will support you. Be a writer, start a business, go into politics, go into business...... As long as it is what you want to do, I will fully support it. ”

“……”

"I don't have any worries now." She didn't know what his concerns were. He let out a long breath.

This time when she returned to Beijing from Wutong, Zhuo Qi's letters were fewer, her mood calmed down a little, and she began to study hard, but she often dreamed of Zhuo Qi in her dreams at night.

That night, she dreamed that Zhuo Qi was dying, her face was as sallow as a dead man, and she cried alive and begged the doctor to save him until she woke up from crying.

The crying frightened Liang Fengyan and Chen Jie, and they came to her bed in their clothes. Lin Ximeng told them the dream.

"This proves that he is alive and well at home," Liang said. Chen Jie reproached: "My dear Miss Lin, what do you want?" Is there anything happier than having a man who loves you as a husband and a man you love as a lover? But you are good, but you have to choose one of them. I tell you repeatedly that a husband is a husband, a lover is a lover, and the two must be separated, why can't you listen to them? Look how chic I am now, and reconcile my husband and lover like friends. ”

"I can't."

"What's so hard about that? Modernize ......"

"It's not a technical problem, it's psychologically difficult."

"This only shows that you are too unproductive and love that lover too much, doesn't it?"

"Exactly."

"Oh my God, is there such a man in the world who deserves such love from you?" Liang Fengyan was also surprised: "Lin Ximeng, a woman like you can saturate a man with a little love." A little bit of your affection is equal to all the affection of us women. ”

"What kind of man is that?" Chen Jie interrupted Liang Fengyan and asked.

"Do what you can to imagine the best man you can be." Lin Ximeng said.

"Is it really that good?"

"I mean, it's a few times better than that."

"What a wickedness! I tell you, on your own terms, you don't need to do this to any man. Women are born to be loved by men and should not love men to the death. Use reason to control feelings, that's the way to go. ”

"Rational? Where do I get my rationality? I'm irrational. ”

"It's not in vain! You can write such an amazing paper, I don't believe that you are irrational; You can still run a business, and I don't believe that you are irrational. It's just that you don't apply reason to your feelings, or rather, you don't use it to the person who makes you evil. Lin Ximeng thought carefully about her words, and the more she thought about it, the more she felt that she was on the right path.

When it was almost dawn, she jumped out of bed and into the ground, and she exclaimed, "I know what to do!" Soon, Lin Ximeng suddenly received a letter from Zhuo Qi asking her to go back to the divorce procedures quickly, and he said in great pain: "That You Xinshan's wife found me after several twists and turns and accused you of adultery with You Xinshan. Faced with this text message, Lin Ximeng suddenly felt that he couldn't be too selfish anymore!

Poor Zhuo Qi, just because he loved her, he was repeatedly hurt, what a cruel thing, as a man who was not yet forty years old, he could not get exclusive love from her, nor could he get good sex, how painful should he be in the depths of his heart?

And just for the true love that once had, endure it so hard? And for the sake of her own safety factor, she grabbed him and didn't let go, this kind of not letting go is not reluctant, but because the time is not right, once the time comes, it is a foregone conclusion to let go at any time!

Is this fair? How can this be called fair! Zhuo Qi has the right to be loved! And she, Lin Ximeng, in order to achieve her ulterior purpose, stuffed Yao Huijuan into Zhuo Qi's arms, just because Yao Huijuan is simple-minded and simple-minded, as long as she needs to, she can take Zhuo Qi back from Yao Huijuan's arms at any time.

"Selfish, selfish. Why don't you die, you selfish woman? Lin Ximeng thought bitterly.