"I said you're not ugly." Lin Xiaoqiang said.

"Taller than you anyway." Li Bing angrily went back.

Sit on a concrete stool and look at your own tombstone. Looking, own, tombstone, what an absurd state it is. Although it can't be called a tombstone, it's just an A4 paper-sized lattice on a row of ashes, but it is really the place where you are buried. Looking at his photo, as well as the red name and year of birth and death, Li Bing once again felt that everything was too unreal, as if the movie he had watched before, all this was just a copy under some kind of program control, when he didn't know how to get the password, everything would be read again again, or converted to other copies.

"Smoke a cigarette, you?" Lin Xiaoqiang suggested.

Li Bing took out three cigarettes from the cigarette he had just bought, lit them together, and put them under his photo. I ordered another one and took a deep puff. I haven't smoked for too long, and this body doesn't have the habit of smoking, this sip came violently, and I was choked and coughed.

The small tombstone, let's call it a tombstone, looks very new, after all, it has been less than a year since his death. But whether it is the recess of the inscription or the small altar where the flowers are placed, there is a thick layer of dust. It can be seen that no one has come to mourn in his cemetery, and he has quickly forgotten about this world.

"Number one, I said, how did you think of jumping off the building in the first place? Don't want to live anymore? Or are you really not afraid of death? ”

"In this world, some people don't want to live, but no one is not afraid of death." Li Bing didn't know how to think of this sentence.

Li Bing is a local. His childhood was no different from that of his peers. Mom and Dad are employees of state-owned enterprises, living a simple and ordinary life, no suffering, no hunger, and occasionally relying on the travel leave of state-owned enterprises to travel far and near. His parents didn't have any special expectations for him, anyway, if he could read a good book, he would go to college and find a good job; If you can't pass the exam, you will wait for a successor, anyway, a job is always stable. Therefore, Li Bing's childhood memories are all carefree, and when he grows up. Whenever he thinks of his childhood, Li Bing misses it very much, that simple happiness, unfortunately he can never go back.

When he was a teenager, Li Bing was no exception to catch up with the encounter of his parents being laid off. The money to subsidize the length of service first bought a house to be renovated, and then my mother started a small business, and my father relied on technology to earn money everywhere, and the family seemed to lose all happiness overnight, and was crushed by the pressure of survival. Fortunately, Li Bing's grades are not bad, and his parents pinned their hopes on him, saving money to ensure that he could study. Li Bing was also angry and was successfully admitted to the university. But before he graduated, his father became ill from overwork, and died soon after falling ill. This blow was fatal to Li Bing, and the sky was falling.

I got mixed up until I graduated, and my grades weren't very good. In order to spend more time with his mother, Li Bing returned to his hometown. After looking for a job for a few months, I finally started a life of miscellaneous work in a company. Year after year, I became a clerk in the office. Life is getting better day by day, and his mother is also looking for a partner for his blind date. God made another joke at this time, and my mother died in a car accident suddenly. At that time, surveillance was not very popular, and the location of the incident was remote, until the end, the driver who caused the accident was not found.

At that time, Li Bing felt that he couldn't live anymore, and he had collapsed. Fortunately, Li Bing met his wife at this time. His wife is an accountant, and the two are like TV dramas, they met by chance, fell in love with each other in dramas, and then came to the eve of marriage. However, the woman's parents disagreed, believing that Li Bing had no future, and finally Li Bing's wife threatened to sever the father-daughter relationship and married him insisted.

The self-made two sold Li Bing's old house, took out a loan, and bought a new house. Step by step, I lived a small life. But no matter how sweet love is, it can't withstand the weight of life after all. After a few years, life has been tight, and even children dare not ask for it. Even the occasional visit of the mother-in-law and the mother-in-law were sarcastic and sarcastic to Li Bing's nose, not nose and eyes. Li Bing slowly learned to smoke and drink, and in order to live, Li Bing endured. Working hard, giving up all entertainment, except for going to work, is going home to do housework, and slowly living like a robot.

After seven or eight years of marriage, the state of survival has not improved, and there are more and more trivial things in life, and there will inevitably be friction between the two. The number of quarrels is increasing. At this time, Li Bing's unit changed bosses, and for old employees like Li Bing, people carried out a big purge, one size fits all, there was no reason, all of them were not wanted.

Go home unemployed and look for a new job. Li Bing is also in his thirties, and it will be difficult to find a suitable job in all aspects for a while, so he will rely on his wife's income to pay off the mortgage and support his family. The economic base determines the superstructure, and the same is true for a family. Eating soft rice and living on his daughter-in-law, Li Bing unconsciously felt that his family status was not as good as before, but what could he do? After a few months, this was uncomfortable enough, but at this time, by mistake, I looked through my wife's mobile phone and found that his wife and a man were not clear. This attention, but also secretly followed a few times, and found that the man really often drove the car to pick up people at his wife's door, and his wife rarely didn't come home on time at night, but now she often works overtime and goes home in the middle of the night. It's normal to change to someone else, catch the adulterer, kill the man, divorce, and let her go out of the house, but Li Bing is not a particularly strong and brave person, he felt that he was a bag, drank some wine, and took out all the misfortunes in life, and was so sad and indignant that he climbed to the top of the building and prepared to jump.

"Actually, when the police came, I was already drunk, and I didn't want to jump down for a long time. To be honest, if you want to jump, you will go upstairs and close your eyes and go down. But I stood next to the railing and looked down, and I was really scared. Who is not afraid of death. But, in the end, I jumped off. ”

"Hey, according to what you say, I'm also unjust."

"Hey." Li Bing sighed.

"Hey," Lin Xiaoqiang also sighed, "It doesn't matter what happens now." I'm pretty much the same for this trend. How many times have you fallen today? You said it well, no one is not afraid of death, but we can't live if we want to. ”

Sitting silently in front of Li Bing's tomb, the two of them each sighed, thinking about their own thoughts, and neither of them was interested in speaking. The autumn wind blows, accompanied by the gloomy weather, and the solemn environment of the cemetery, which can't help but make people feel sad.

When the two of them were in a daze, the mobile phone actually rang. Lin Xiaoqiang didn't react to the ringing of the mobile phone, Li Bing reminded him to pick up the mobile phone, and when he saw it, it was actually Nurse Xiaoxia.

"Hehe, it's really you, little third brother. You turn back, I'm above you. ”

Lin Xiaoqiang looked back, and on several floors of the platform, there was a girl beckoning, and her body outline was vaguely like Xiao Xia.

Lin Xiaoqiang also waved his hand. After a while, Xiao Xia jumped down in front of Lin Xiaoqiang.

"Hee-hee, it's really you. I looked at the back a little bit of you above, and shouted twice that you didn't answer, I said call to try, it's really you. ”

"What are you doing here?" Lin Xiaoqiang was particularly surprised.

"Oh, today is my grandmother's death day, and I'm coming to see her old man." Nurse Xiaoxia saw the cigarette that had not been extinguished and looked at the photo: "Oh, this is the person you inquired about?" Oh, that's pathetic. ”

Seeing Xiao Xia silently clasping his hands and closing his eyes and praying silently, Li Bing was inexplicably moved in his heart. After praying for a while, Xiao Xia regained her joyful appearance of giggling: "I'm amazing, I recognized you from so far away." ”

"This," Lin Xiaoqiang couldn't answer, "Your grandmother is also buried here?" ”

"Hmm. I saw her and I told her that now I am happy and can help others every day. Let her be happy every day. Xiao Xia kept chattering: "I'm going back, why don't you go with me, little third brother?" ”

"I'm fine, let's go."

Limping and following Xiao Xia slowly back, Lin Xiaoqiang asked, "Sister Xiao Xia, will you go home directly later?" ”

"If you don't go home, I'll go to Baozhen to watch it later. When my grandmother was there, I would go to light a peace lantern every year on her birthday, and now that she is gone, I will also go and light one for her. ”

"Baozhenguan? Where? Lin Xiaoqiang didn't react for a while.

"Hey, on the edge of the old city, along the river road, that old Taoist temple."

"Oh, oh, that's called Baozhenguan." Only then did Lin Xiaoqiang know that the little tattered Taoist temple still had a name.

"Well, why don't you come with me to have a look?"

"It's okay anyway, let's go take a look." Lin Xiaoqiang and Li Bing suddenly thought of the old man who had clearly seen them that night but turned a blind eye.

took the bus to the old city, and Lin Xiaoqiang found a topic to chat with Xiaoxia all the way.

"By the way, a few years ago, I remember not saying that the temple should be expanded, the last time I passed by there, I saw it still the same."

"Hey, it's true to fence the land, but if you want to expand or something, ask Uncle Yang to raise funds by himself, how can Uncle Yang have money, he can only surround it."

"Uncle Yang? It's the one in that view" Lin Xiaoqiang quickly asked Li Bing, what is the name of the Taoist priest, Li Bing said that he is called the Taoist, "That Taoist?" ”

"Hmm. However, Uncle Yang said that he was not an official Taoist priest, so he didn't let us call him Taoist, and we all called Uncle Yang. ”

"So you're pretty familiar with him?"

"Yes, I've known him since I was a child, and I can say that I grew up watching him."

"You said that you, a nurse, also believe in immortals, Taoist priests?"

"I can't believe it. Actually, I was born prematurely, and my grandmother said that I was born like a little mouse. Hee-hee, it just so happens that I'm also a rat. It is said that I lived in an incubator when I came out of the delivery room, and the doctor said that I would not survive. My grandmother, who has no culture, pours out the treasure every day to worship the Buddha, and asks this god and that god to bless me, a poor little mouse. After that, I was really fine, and it grew better day by day. My grandmother said, my life was saved by these gods she begged, so she took me there to kowtow and thank God since I was a child, and I would eat fast or something. ”

"Do you believe they blessed it?"

"I can't believe it, I can't say I don't believe it. When I was a child, I just thought it was fun, and many people could also eat sugar. Later, when I got older, I just wanted to accompany my grandmother. Xiao Xia was slightly sad: "Later, when my grandmother died, when I think about her, I will think of the way she brought me here, so every time I go to the cemetery to see my grandmother, I have to go here to see it." ”

"I'm sorry to remind you of something sad."

"It's nothing, grandma is very peaceful and quiet when she leaves. Grandma said to me before leaving, sister, you must live happily, so that grandma will be at ease and happy in heaven. So, I must be happy and happy. ”

"Then you don't have any worries?"

"Yes, how can it not. I'm so fat and not good-looking. When I used to study, every girl on Valentine's Day had someone to give a gift, but I didn't, and I cried when I was angry. ”

"Haha, what do you do then?"

"I, I ran to the Taoist temple when I was angry, and I told the gods all this, and I didn't get angry when I said it, but I don't know if the gods heard it."

Li Bing was amused for a while, this lovely sister is really the emperor with donkey ears, not to mention uncomfortable.

"Then why didn't the gods make you angry?" Lin Xiaoqiang also thought it was funny.

"The gods didn't tell me, but Uncle Yang told me." Xiao Xia looks very serious.

"Oh, what did Uncle Yang say?"

"Uncle Yang said, this person's body exists to bear the ups and downs, joys and sorrows. It's like a glass of water, whether it's others or yourself, you are adding something to it all the time. If someone else adds bitter gall to you, and you add some bitter gall to it, then this glass of water will become more and more bitter; If someone else puts bitter gall in you, and you add sugar to it, it will always cover the taste of bitter gall in the end, and this glass of water will only get sweeter and sweeter. That's why I don't care what other people do, every night, I think about what I ate today, who I helped today, what happy things I have today, and I laugh enough about the funny things before I go to sleep. ”

Li Bing was suddenly silent, and Lin Xiaoqiang couldn't answer for a while. This seemingly heartless, simple and happy girl is not as simple as it seems.

"So, then I got the nurse exam. I feel very happy that it can help a lot of people and help others solve their problems. Sometimes when I encounter unreasonable patients and family members, I cry with the head nurse, and after crying, I tell myself that I must put sugar hard, put sugar hard, and get rid of unhappy things. Our head nurse said I had no heart or lungs, haha. ”

Speaking of the head nurse, Lin Xiaoqiang suddenly asked, "You head nurse didn't say anything bad about me, right?" By the way, you never asked me what I was doing? ”

"Our head nurse said you weren't a good person, but I don't think you're a bad person either. You're going to make me amused with so many little tricks. You're probably a magician, following that kind of troupe, performing everywhere, well, it must be. ”

"Then you didn't ask me. What if I don't? ”

"It's okay, what you want to say, you will say it, if you don't want to say it, I won't say it if I ask. Uncle Yang said, this is like rain in the sky, whether you want him to rain or not, whether you want him to rain or not, you will rain when you should, and you will stop when you should stop. It's useless for you to beg him to go down, and it's useless to ask him to stop, just wait for him to go down and watch him stop. Hee-hee, it's quite profound. ”

Li Bing was stunned for a while. This uncle seems to be a master, even if he is not a master, it is by no means simple.

After getting off the bus, Xiao Xia bought some more fruit and walked along the old stone road to the Taoist temple on the small street with fewer and fewer residents. Lin Xiaoqiang and Li Bing couldn't help but think of the two escapes in this area, looking left and right, secretly nervous.

Walking through an alley, the Taoist temple was in front of them, and Lin Xiaoqiang and Li Bing saw the true face of Lushan.

The Taoist temple was as small as Li Bing when he was a child. It's right on the edge of the alley. It is not a majestic building with carved beams and tall cornices, but the appearance of a southern Sichuan dwelling. The door is not wide, and you can touch the doorposts on both sides with both hands open, and the top of the doorway is like an inverted ingot. The door hole is painted with Taiji Yin Yang Fish, and above the Taiji Yin Yang Fish is a recessed stone slab, which is engraved with three big characters of "Baozhen View". The two sides of the doorpost are couplets, and Li Bing told Lin Xiaoqiang that it was "Baolai Eight Generations Penglai Island, really painting the Taiji map of the three rivers", and the first word of the couplet is the name of the view. On both sides of the couplet, there are two walls, painted with the pattern of the Eight Immortals, and on the Eight Immortals are the patterns of bats, various flowers, and ritual vessels. On the top are not too wide eaves, all of which are made of brick and covered with gray tiles. Everywhere the paint is peeled, giving it a dilapidated atmosphere.

The door was open, and the room inside was not deep. About two meters away, there is an offering table less than two meters long, on the offering table is placed incense burner, lighting a lantern, in front of the offering table are placed three smoky futons, and behind the offering table is a statue of a god, I don't know what kind of god it is. The idol is leaning in front of the Ichipinki fang. The two pillars of the wooden fang are just on both sides of the table, between the two pillars, it is a traditional practice, the bamboo strips are woven into the wall, the outside is yellow mud and hair paste, and the outside is brushed with a layer of lime. Behind the statue is a big white, and the head of the statue is painted with Tai Chi gossip. Outside these two pillars, there are exactly two doorways. Li Bing had been here when he was a child, and he knew that there was a patio behind him, and the last time he hid, he was actually only a few steps away from this patio.

Xiao Xia didn't say hello, and walked in the door with his feet raised. Lin Xiaoqiang saw that the inside was not wide, and stood at the door looking east and west. On the left side of the door, against the wall, an old man dozed off in a chair. Xiao Xia went over and gently pushed him to wake him up. The old man shook his head sleepily and woke up.

"Hehe, Uncle Yang, I'm dozing off again, be careful of catching a cold."

"Oh, Linlin is here." When the old man saw that it was Xiao Xia, his eyes smiled into a slit, and he stood up as he spoke. "It's coming, oh, I'm math, it's your grandmother's lamp."

Xiao Xia handed over the fruit: "Your memory is so good!" With your memory, it's okay to live another hundred years. ”

The old man took the fruit, put it on the ground next to the offering table, took two plates, piled up two plates of apples and grapes, and offered them to the idol.

"Live another hundred years, and then you will become an old goblin!" As he spoke, he looked for a brass lamp, poured oil into it, looked for a brush, looked for yellow paper, and was busy with all the work.

Write the yellow note and press it on the offering table with a lamp, the old man stands by the offering table and chatters, Xiao Xia kneels on the futon, folds his hands, closes his eyes and prays. After a few more bows, he stood up.