I wasn't very smart ever since I was a child, and my parents liked my sister the most, and I was always unpopular until she completely disappointed them. I was the only boy in my father's entire family, and the only one to go to college; My mother's family is very glorious, and my siblings are either Japan, the United States, or Australia - and the pressure on my mother is also very high.

From the age of 15, I started to have a lot of stress. At that time, our family had just moved from Fuling to Tianjin, and the family conflict began to intensify unprecedentedly. Faced with a completely unfamiliar city, my mother said to me, "No one in this city can help you, including us in the ......" At that time, I couldn't even speak Mandarin, and I was dumb for three days when I first arrived in Tianjin...... That's when I worked very, very hard, for anyone, for anything!

In the eight years that I didn't have a house in Tianjin, having my own bed was my biggest dream at that time. With no home address and no phone number, an introverted boy is busy organizing this or that class reunion every holiday in order to make the connections he needs in the future. In 1995, my family was once likely to be transferred to Xiamen, and at that time, as the president of the Tianjin Villagers Association at the university, I even joined the Fujian Villagers Association...... Especially after the remorse of passing shoulders with Xiao Ying, I kept asking myself why I didn't "kill" Chengdu at that time, why I was always expecting Xiao Ying's acquiescence, even if my father was resolutely opposed, even if Xiao Ying already had a boyfriend...... I hated myself for not going all out to get an unforgettable relationship. Since then, I will do everything I can, do my best, and never die until the heart of the Yellow River is alive - so, I stuck to Meilu for seven years. In the first half of my life, I have always lived a very motivated, very active, and very deliberate life, which many post-70s and post-80s generations have never experienced.

My mother's greatest wish was to see me in my bachelor's gown, but unfortunately she couldn't wait for that day - this is an eternal pain in my heart. So, before I graduated, I asked my dad to come to the school, let him see the campus where my son lived for four years, and let him see that I was wearing a bachelor's uniform, which I originally owed my mother. On her deathbed, she was always thinking about my CET4 test – she was worried that I wouldn't get a degree, and in those days, not getting a degree meant finding a good job. If she knew that I had joined the best company in Tianjin's tourism industry after graduation, I wonder if she would be happy? If she knew that I became the youngest department manager in the industry in Tianjin at the age of 25, I wonder if she would be pleased. If she knew that I had "successfully started my business" before I was 30 years old and became one of the youngest diamonds in China, I wonder if she would be proud? If she knew that I was the first ex-diamond in China to dare to stand up and expose the shady scene, I wonder if she would be proud? But there is one thing I dare not let her know, that is, when I was 33 years old, I went away, everything in my life was overturned, and everything had to start all over again...... And my dad is sad, a lot of the time I just text and don't want him to worry too much about me - hearing his voice always makes me feel guilty.

My dad is getting older, and his health is not as good as before. Mom has been gone for 14 years, and he has walked so far with me with his care, patience and selfless love, especially during those seven years in the United States. I know that no matter how far I go, I will always be a child, always in his loving gaze. I know that my time is running out, and I want to send him out of the country while he is still in good health, I want to accompany him to the places where he once fought, and I want to form a happy family to reassure him. I owe him a truly happy ending, and I hope it won't be long......

For seven years, I've done everything and more with a diamond and barely enjoyed everything a diamond should have, which is a failure of my personal emotional adventure. As for me and Yahan, we love clearly, we divide clearly, we don't have any will, so naturally we don't have to grit our teeth, we are both adults, after all, everyone is responsible for their words and deeds, which is the main reason why I can still be angry and peaceful with Yahan.

In the past 14 years, I have experienced 5 industries, and I can write a lot of insiders, but why do I only write about the shady scenes of Meilu? That's because no industry or company has created so many human tragedies like Meilu - this is a sin under the sun!

My dad used to say that our family was very kind - this was destined for me to be constantly hurt, but I had a clear conscience, and my heart would be warm when I left this world in the future. Over the years, there have been many people who have been influenced by me to join Meilu, many people who have given up Meilu because of my departure, and countless people who have changed the trajectory of their lives because of the guidance of my thoughts. I did my best to do what I thought I should do, and I wanted to be more ordinary in my future life, and I wanted to be an ordinary person as much as possible, and I was lost in the vast sea of people. People who haven't really experienced it won't understand the value of blandness.

I am a good knife to any boss in any company, but unfortunately most of them do not have enough wisdom and mind to tolerate my thoughts and heights, and we lack such opportunities. Ready to be an ordinary person, after this memory. In fact, isn't it a kind of happiness to be a roadside weed? People always crave what they don't have...... Perhaps, I am destined to only be a laughing non--laughing non--laughing with the heart of a weed, or a weed with a laughing heart. For some people, life is Zen.

I have completed my personal growth and mental cultivation all the way, which can be regarded as my only harvest in the seven years of Meilu. Seven years later, when I found out that the "greatest cause" in the world could never realize those so-called values, I finally realized that Meilu was just a lie, an outright scam...... I have finally grown up, and after leaving Meilu, if I still insist, I may be like those "human flesh batteries" who are still sleeping, still obsessed. It's just that completing growth in this way is really an inexplicable irony of Meilu's career. I have become the kind of person I want to be when I first came out of the rivers and lakes in the Meilu era and the post-Meilu era - hand in hand with the world, smiling proudly, and I have no regrets in life.

For everyone who has been doing their best for more than three years, Meilu will be a key factor in determining your life experience and life trajectory, and Meilu will continue to influence everything in your life: pain, tangles, and slow healing...... Ten years have passed, and life has fallen into a deep valley again, struggling to get up from the ground in embarrassment, but it has returned to the starting point ten years ago. I've already walked on the road to Bensi, but I haven't had enough yet! I was a little scared in my heart - Ben Si and Ben San are not the same, and I haven't started to take on all the responsibilities in my life. There is a famous saying in the American banking world that "a person who goes bankrupt three times can be trusted." Loneliness and temptation, always believe that after a low tide is another ** in life, the key is not whether you are ready or not, but what is ahead of him, whether your psychology can bear any consequences of action? If there is, then your aura will bring you the acceleration of life.

Day after day, at this time, the years have been vicissitudes. In the past seven years, the experience has been joyful, and the end is tired, but no matter what, it is light and breezy. Life is a cultivation, God has taken great care of me, and I still have a grateful heart.

Haizi's last poem reads: "In the night, I have three sufferings: wandering, love, and survival. "It's just that the years have passed......